sen forza

i like emphasis and strikethroughs so i can look back on my own mistakes and thin little words that roll off the tip of the tongue and blossom on pieces of paper and uniformity and nonconformity and small bites of mashed potatoes. i like stained glass windows with cracks through the faces and contradictions and small stitches in the fabric of a new shirt. i like staircases that creak and twenty-nines and lowercase letters. i like counting the holes in a person and watching the way a tree falls. i like whatifs and almosts and hellos and goodbyes and crying.

i wish climbing on top of lockers on sundays and spinning pirouettes in hallways and finding and searching and found happened more often because the world would be a better place if they did. i wish people were more exclusive and humans less so. i wish things like forever were real and i wish that i could fill a person's cracks. i wish moth wings could beat the world to sleep and that counting the seconds wouldn't take so long. i wish that pride came before an inevitable fall. i wish sometimes, maybe, that people would listen.

i don't believe in love at first sight and happy ever afters and love, love, love--but i do believe in once upon a times and touches between catastrophic eyes and butterfly kisses under hissing rain, and i believe that the beginning can be worth more than the end if the effort is there, so in the end it balances out. i don't believe in things like never or always or none or nothing--but i do believe in retribution and the redemption that comes from payment. i don't believe in karma--but i do believe in human nature, and human nature demands a price for everything from the clothes we wear to the god we worship to the happiness we paint on our faces. i don't believe in coexisting or opposites--but i believe in absolute truths and the lessons they can teach us. i don't believe in unbiased opinion and i don't believe in sight--but i believe that once in a while, we can manage to make the right decision regardless.

i think that revenge is cold and sweet and beautiful in its purest form and justice is a double sided coin that falls on its head all too often. i think that lies are the basis of morality and that morality is the simplest truth and that legitimacy is only what you make of it. i think that rationality is a lie and universality doesn't exist. i think that equality is the one truth that lost its meaning and religion is the one lie that can gain truth if it tries. i think that people smile too much.

i hope that the best things in life are free--because i can't afford to pay for them. i hope that actions do indeed speak louder than words--because otherwise i haven't spoken loud enough. i hope that people can be fixed--because we are far too easily broken. i hope that there is a calm before the storm, that every cloud has a silver lining--because otherwise you might just lose me in the torrential downpour that i have come to learn is life.

sometimes i even dare to dream.

there are days where i pray that humans will be happier, that people will be better, that humankind will listen and maybe learn a little in the process. it's funny how the simplest things are the things that have no answer, the things that cannot be.

someday i'm hoping i can still learn to fly.

some

some

some.

the world is made of maybes.