It's so very, very late. I know. I'm sorry. Schoolwork, study, and all the usual excuses. Enjoy!

I was well aware of the fact that I wasn't a very good person. I was selfish, arrogant, manipulative, nasty, and generally I just wasn't too much fun to be around. However, for all my shortcomings, I did have a few things going for me. For one, I would never just sit around and let everyone else do all the work. I always had to be in the thick of the action, and I always had to be the centre of attention. When I limped along beside Amandor, I was struck by how odd it felt to simply hand over all of the responsibilities and glory to someone else. I was relying entirely upon to Ugly Mary Sue to beat the Sirens, and I hadn't even met her. Perhaps it was the throbbing pain of my ankle that was clouding my thoughts, but my brain felt completely exhausted. I just wanted to lie down and sleep. All of the adrenaline which had been pumping through me during my little free falling adventure had left my system, and my newfound exhaustion was making my legs reluctant to even move.

As we clambered down the mountain of stuff, I realised that what I had really been lying on was the broken back half of our little boat, covered in a layer of rubble. I felt a little sad, looking at the broken form of our poor old boat. It was like I'd just led a puppy to its death.

It took me a second for my subconscious that I was getting teary over a boat, and another for me to mentally slap myself for it. This wasn't the time for sentiment. My ankle was hurting like crazy, and it seemed to be getting worse every second. I was completely exhausted, and if a Siren decided to show up now, I was dead.

I sensed the Ugly Mary Sue long before I saw her. I could feel the air around us change somehow- it became lighter, somehow more fragrant. The pain in my ankle seemed to dull, and a faint golden buttery light shone down over everything. I felt my strength slowly returning, and I half expected to hear happy birds chirping away in the distance. The setting was completely wrong, of course- it felt as though a Disney princess had just walked onto the set of a horror movie. Her presence didn't belong here. Even so, it was though someone had somehow taken everything that was good and happy, liquefied it, turned it into a perfume, and sprayed it all over the island. It was a slightly weird way of looking at it, but it was the best conclusion I could draw. Liquefied happiness.

Good gods, what was happening to me? I shook my head, trying to clear the optimism and happiness from it. I hadn't felt this cheerful since... ever. And I'd also never felt so inferior. How could even call myself a Mary Sue when compared to this perfection? Whoever was radiating this... happiness was clearly the most intelligent, powerful, incredible-

Whoa. I needed help.

"Almost there," Amandor said. I noticed that his voice sounded perfectly pleasant. Happy, almost. It was disorientating.

"Um..." I said slowly. Even that sounded cheerful. I had been about to drop a sarcastic remark, but it had melted out of my brain. A feeling of peaceful comfort was stirring in the back of my mind, and for a moment I forgot that I was limping across a wasteland.

"Here we are!" Amandor said brightly. I tried to reply, but all I could do was make a weird clucking noise.

Gods, she was ugly. I instantly felt like a cruel, vicious monster for thinking that, but it was true. The Ugly Mary Sue had a mat of tangled hair covering her head, ghostly white skin which was covered in blotches, and her face... I felt a growing sense of pity settle in my gut. She had the kind of face which instantly inspired sadness. I felt like hugging her, she was so unfortunate in her looks. And that's when I realised what her secret was. No-one really felt sorry for a gorgeous supermodel, no matter how tragic her back-story was. The true way to inspire pity was to be pitiful. And the Ugly Mary Sue sure had that nailed. She had scars covering her face and arms. Her eyes were big, green and sad. She was wearing an old dress which looked as though it had been dragged through several monster's throats.

She was standing next to Ebony, who was staring at her in utter confusion. They were in a shallow cave which had somehow been eroded into the side of the cliff, and I was guessing that it was the Ugly Mary Sue's sanctuary.

Her eyes flicked towards Amandor and me, and a grotesque smile lit up her face. I sighed. I felt like a servant of Hades whenever I thought a vaguely mean thought about her.

"Marie Susanne," she said, still smiling. Her voice was like a warm scent of spring bursting through the cold winter night.

I repressed a gag as I shook my head back and forth in disgust. Did I really just think that?

"I have waited a long, long time to see you all," she said, smiling at us all in turn. I stared at her in disbelief, fighting the waves of metaphorical garbage which were threatening to flood my mind.

"I have taken care of the Sirens," she said. "Sit down."

I half-hopped towards a rock which looked like it wouldn't make too much of an uncomfortable seat when the Ugly Mary Sue zeroed in on my awkward movement.

"Oh, you poor dear!" she cried, floating over to me. She bent down, placed a hand on my ankle, and the pain instantly subsided. I gaped at her.

"Sit down!" she said, staring around at all of us. "I have so much to tell you about!"

Amandor instantly obeyed, plonking down on a rock. Ebony just looked around, utterly bewildered, and sat down on the floor. I tested out my ankle gingerly. It seemed to be completely healed, but I walked carefully over to my chosen seat anyway.

The Ugly Mary Sue sat down on her own rock, which was right next to Ebony. She beamed out at us, and for a few sweet, sweet seconds, there was silence. Then she began to speak.

"My name," she said, "is Anaroullettalina Tempest C'oralina Mermallidia Taneta." She paused, as though she expected us to burst into applause. She was met with three blank faces, and gave a small half-smile. "My friends call me Anaroullettalina. Well, they would, if... if I had any friends." Tears welled in her eyes as she smiled around at us, her voice cracking in the most heartbreaking way at the word friends. I was liking her less and less every second. "I am the daughter of Ouranos."

I blinked at her. "Ouranos was hacked up into tiny little pieces thousands of years ago." She smiled at me, not even caring about my rudeness. I felt like a demon girl who liked feeding on baby seals and kittens as I stared into those big green eyes.

"True enough. But he did have two daughters. Twins, in fact. Myself and Aphrodite."

I frowned as the old story came back to me. When Ouranos had been chopped up by his son Kronos, his body parts had been cast into the sea, and had formed Aphrodite. In many ways, that kind of made Aphrodite the oldest goddess. As far as I had heard, however, there had never been anyone else.

"I was born the same way as Aphrodite," Anaroullettalina said sadly. However, while she was born beautiful, I was born..." she choked back a sob, and more tears filled her eyes. "I was more powerful than Aphrodite, and when the Olympians came to power, I knew they felt threatened by me. They pretended to accept me for a while, but eventually they cast me onto this island for all of eternity."

"Wait... so you're a goddess?" I demanded, gaping at her.

"Yes. Possibly the most powerful of them all. It's a curse!" she shrieked, a random fit of hysteria suddenly possessing her. I almost fell backwards off my seat in shock. The Ugly Mary Sue stared around at us, her bottom lip trembling and her eyes shining.

"It's the perfect prison," Amandor muttered. "You'd never be able to escape, because they'd just sing you back."

"Yoo neva blokdd ur eirs?" Ebony asked, staring at her. I raised my eyebrows. Ebony did have a point there. Surely the world's most powerful goddess would have thought to stick her fingers in her ears?

"It... it wouldn't work," Anaroullettalina sniffled. "My hearing was so good that no spell I used would work. I was trapped here. TRAPPED!" Her green eyes suddenly turned to a dark, depressing purple as she stared out at the ocean. I shared a panicked glance with Amandor. Had we really been that deluded once?

"I... I was abandoned here. Eventually, people forgot all about me. Nobody knew about my existence. Nobody cared. But still, I had hope. A beacon of light shone in the never ending darkness. You see, I am blessed," she paused dramatically, which allowed me time to suppress the retching fit which threatened to overwhelm me, "with the power of prophecy."

"No kidding," I murmured.

"I saw that one day, my salvation would come. And now it has." She smiled, and spread her arms wide. "You have saved not only me, but the fate of the whole world."

"Are you going to explain to us why Lord Voldemort and a bunch of Slayers turned up in a universe dominated by Greek Mythology?" I asked.

"Yes."

"Good. Just checking."

"You must understand, my dears, that the very description of a Mary Sue is someone who is more perfect than anyone else. If there are multiple Mary Sues, and if they are all of equal perfection, then none of them are really Mary Sues."

I shot a quick look at Ebony, just to make sure her brain wasn't melting or anything. She had a completely blank, zombie-like expression on her face, but she wasn't smoking at the ears or anything, so I assumed that all of this thinking wasn't doing too much damage.

"So... we aren't Mary Sues?" Amandor asked, glancing around anxiously.

"No. As you may have noticed, there are a rather large amount of Mary Sues running about. However, the numbers have grown too much for the universe, and now all of our worlds are colliding into one another. There are now so many Mary Sues populating the world that we are beginning to lose some of our perfection."

"Excuse me?" I spluttered. "We're all as perfect as we've ever been!"

"Really," the Ugly Mary Sue said coolly. "Haven't you noticed your senses fading? When was the last time you obsessed over your looks? Your superior senses have been rapidly draining away, and you are now no better than normal people."

I opened my mouth to object, and then closed it again in frustration. Holy Hades, she was right. I didn't even care about Nico anymore. He was like, twelve or something. My internal clock, calendar and calculators hadn't been working for weeks. I didn't care about how I looked. Dear gods, I didn't even care about the fact that I didn't care about how I looked!

"You're right," Amandor said, sounding stunned. I glared at him furiously.

"I always am, my dears. And that isn't all. Others from different worlds altogether- such as your Lord Voldemort and Edward Cullen, have also been dropped into our universe, due to the imbalances caused by the alarmingly high population of Mary Sues. I can assure you, this is only going to get worse. Soon, our whole world will be populated by strange fictional characters, and, on a much more concerning note, our Mary Sue powers will weaken further. Our eyes will cease to change colour, our powers will fade, and we will grow," she suppressed a shudder, "ordinary brown hair in replacement of all of our beautiful exotic hair colours."

"What?" I choked. "That... that's just..."

"A fate too awful to imagine," The Ugly Mary Sue said. "Fortunately, there is a way we can stop it."

"Hang on," Amandor said slowly. "You gave that prophecy my dad mentioned in Athens!"

"Correct," she said, beaming out at us. "You all have a special fate indeed."

"And that would be?" I demanded, staring intently at her.

"It is quite simple, my dears. The only way to set things right is to ensure that there is only one."

"You want to kill all of the other Mary Sues?" I half-choked.

"I wish to set things right. You see, I am the goddess of Mary Sues."

"What?"

"Well, not officially, but I decided that it was the best title for me. And I have the power to restore balance to the world."

"Fantastic," Amandor said. "And you haven't done this yet because...?"

"Because I did not have the acknowledgement of anyone. Us gods need worship. We need people to believe in us. Even I, the most powerful being in existence, need some form of worship. All I need is one soul to join my cause, and then I can set things right."

"By killing a whole bunch of people," I said.

"No. I will not kill them, as such, I will simply... put a few of them into a vegetative state. I will organise the whole universe so that a problem such as this never arises again. One Mary Sue can live out her plotline in her world, and when her author abandons her, another Mary Sue moves in to take her place. Understand?"

"What's the catch?" Amandor demanded.

"Well, after I rearrange the entire cosmos, you may feel slightly woozy for a few minutes, and you will have no recollection whatsoever of your time spent in this world. You won't remember me, each other, or anything else which may have occurred."

"That's insane," Amandor demanded. "You can't expect us to actually do that, can you?"

"You will be free to live out your normal, Mary Sue lives!" The Ugly Mary Sue cried passionately. "No-one will hate you anymore! You will be free to do as you wish! Things will return to the way they should be! All I need is one soul! One person to join my cause, and that will give me enough power to set things in motion."

"No way," Amandor all but snarled.

"Im not doin dat!" Ebony cried. "id neva c Mary or Amed... Amindel... Armandol eva agen!"

"It's not happening," I said firmly.

I expected Anaroullettalina to plead with us, to beg us to join her cause, but she simply smiled and regarded us each in turn.

"One of you is lying," she said quietly. "Your friend, ViraTrixten, her life will be restored. Did I mention that? One of you is not being honest with me. You will join my cause eventually. In the meantime," she glanced over at the dark sky, and at the stars which were just beginning to appear, "I will ask you to sleep. Dinner won't be a problem. You won't feel hunger in my presence."

One hour after she said that, Amandor, Ebony and I all curled up next to a tiny, flickering fire and slowly drifted off to sleep. Five hours after her words were spoken, a figure rose next to the campfire and trudged over to where the Ugly Mary Sue sat on a rock, glowing eerily in the dark and smiling an angelic smile.

"Is something wrong, my dear?" she asked.

"Umm..." the voice was uncertain, but was not slurred in any form. The speaker had obviously spent hours waiting for the others to drift off.

"I just wanted to say... I join your cause."

She smiled.

"Thank you, my dear. That was all I needed."