Hi People of the Internet!

Well, this is awkward. It's June already...

Thanks for all those who are staying by my stories' sides and reviewing!

Below this are a bunch of stuff I copied off of other people's profiles. If you wast- I mean spend- time reading it, you might be entertained to some degree.

Asian Complaints

1. We do not comprehend the words “ching chong”.

2. WHATTHEHELL does “ching chong” even mean?!

3. Not all Koreans make nuclear bombs or eat dogs.

4. Just cause you see an Asian person it doesn’t mean they’re Chinese,
they could be Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese, Indonesian, Filipino etc.

5. We are not all COMMUNISTS.

6. We don’t always eat egg rolls and when we do it’s like once in a blue moon.

7. Asian girls with long black hair HATE being called The Grudge or
the girl from The Ring. Same goes for Asian guys and being called
Grudge boy.

9. Dynasty Express and China King are not considered “real” Chinese food.

10. We don’t use THAT much M-S-G.

11. Don’t ask us to speak our language, we will when we feel like it.

12. We don’t know how to translate your name so stop asking cause most
likely we can’t.

13. Don’t ask us to teach you curse words either.

14. Stop trying to pair up Asian guys and girls at your school and say
they look cute together. Not all Asians belong together.

15. All Asian countries speak different languages.

16. Just because we’re Asian it doesn’t mean that we know karate, kung
fu, tae kwon do etc. Even though we are probably capable of kicking
your butt anyway.

17. Don’t say all Asian people look the same, that’s like saying all
white people look the same, all African Americans look the same and
all Hispanics look the same. When will you realize your stupidity?

18. Surprise! Not all Asians are good at maths.

19. Not all Asians are short.

20. Or skinny.

21. By the way, it’s VietNAMese, not VietMANese.

22. Not all Asian families run a nail shop although some of them do.

23. Same goes for convenient stores and laundromats.

24. What do you people stare at? Haven’t you seen an Asian person before?

25. Just to let you know, it’s NOT funny when you tape your eyes up
and start speaking gibberish. That just gives us another reason to
kick your butt.

26. Go ahead, make fun of us. We’ll just make fun of you in our own language.

27. It’s ok for us to call each other F.O.B’s but if you call us one
you’re asking for a beating.

28. Yeah we eat rice, so what? Got rice?

29. Don’t fold your hands and bow at us like you know what you’re
doing cause honestly you look like an idiot.

30. Don’t ask if the Chinese use cat in their food, if they did they
would label it “cat lo mein” instead of beef lo mein. They don’t use
cat if you didn’t already guess that by now.

31. No…Yao Ming is not my uncle.

32. People from India are Asians too.

33. People from the Middle East are just as Asian as people from the southeast

Weird is good. Strange is bad. Odd is what you call someone who you can't decide what to call them. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which means weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, put this in your profile.

Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever ran into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet/foot, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever laughed so hard you either choked, hyperventilated, had your sides cramp, or all of the above copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you are obsessed with something considered childish for someone your age, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever threatened a computer or video game console, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy onto profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever said something that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you're a girl who's tired of people assuming that just because your a girl you love pink and can't fight to save your life, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you threaten inanimate objects, copy and paste this into your profile

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like chocolate as much as I do copy this in your profile.

If you ever got hit in the face with a soccerball, football, etc., cop, paste this onto your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're against animal cruelty, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're weird, copy this into your profile.

If you are a chocoholic copy this into your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you have ever copy and pasted something to your profile, copy and paste this to your profile

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you're random, and proud of it, post this onto your profile.

If you have sibling that drive you crazy copy and paste this to your profile

If you love to sing even if you may or may not suck copy and paste this to your profile

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you ever ran into a parked car, copy and paste this to your profile

My best friend is insane! If you agree, or if you have an insane friend and still love her, then copy this to your profile.

If you read books that no one even know about, copy and paste this into your profile

If you want world peace, a brighter future, and more Gummy Bears , copy and paste this into your profile.

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
FRIENDS: Will help you up when you fall.
BEST FRIENDS: Will keep on walking saying, "Walk much, dumbass?"
FRIENDS: Will help you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kidnap him and bring him to you.
FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Already have the shovel to bury the body of the person that made you cry.
FRIENDS: Will pass you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.
FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.
FRIENDS: Will give you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Will take yours and run.
FRIENDS: Will help you move.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.
FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the cell with you saying, "Fuck we messed up! But that was friggin' awesome! Let's do it again next weekend!"
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.
FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give them back.
BEST FRIENDS: Lose your stuff and tell you, "My bad... here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's ass that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "I'M HOME."
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, "Bitch! Drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste!"
FRIENDS: Will help you find your way when you're lost.
BEST FRIENDS: Will be the one messing with your compass, stealing your map, and giving you bad directions.
FRIENDS: Will help you learn to drive.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you roll the car into the lake so you can collect insurance.
FRIENDS: Will watch your pets when you go away.
BEST FRIENDS: Won't let you go away.
FRIENDS: Will help you up when you fall down.
BEST FRIENDS: Will point and laugh because she tripped you.
FRIENDS: Will go to a concert with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kidnap the band with you.
FRIENDS: Hide you from the cops
BEST FRIENDS: Are probably the reason they're after you in the first place
FRIENDS: Let you make an idiot of yourself in public
BEST FRIENDS: Are up there with you making an idiot out of themselves too.
FRIENDS: Will say, "You're my best friend".
BEST FRIENDS: Will announce they love you every day.

74/100 stupid things that I have done: Marked in bold

1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out
2. Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails
3. Broken a chair by leaning back in it
4. Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking
5. Choked on your own spit while you were talking
6.Had people tell you that you are blonde when you're not/or had had people tell you that your blonde highlights are going to your head
7. Been caught staring at your crush by your crush him/herself
8. Have looked for something for at least 10 min then realized it was in your hand
9. Tried to push open a door that said pull
10. Tried to pull open a door that said push
11. Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love potion
12. Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else
13. Have tripped and fallen UP the stairs
14. Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave
15. Have gotten gum stuck in your hair
16. Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble
17. Have had the juice from a grape squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it *actually a cherry tomato, but same diff. XD
18. Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard
19. Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name
20. Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip flops on or you were barefoot
21. Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on
22. Have fallen out of a moving vehicle (It was my bike...)
23. Have run into a closed door
24. Have almost shot someone with a real gun while trying to shoot something else
25. Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it
26. It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke
27. Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer
28. Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan
29. Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk
30. Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock
31. After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it
32. Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside
33. Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else
34. Ever been kicked out of a grocery store/off their property
35. Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc on purpose even though you knew it was hot
36. Picked out your change of clothes, took off the ones you had on and then accidentally put the old clothes back on
37. Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in
38. Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard
39. Walked into a pole
40. Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident
41. Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house
42. Tried to take a picture of your/someone's eye with the flash on
43. Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small
44. Walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it
45. Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there forgot what is was that you were going to do.
46. Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it
47. Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up
48. Have poked yourself in the eye
49. Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on
50. Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair
51. Have done enough stupid things to make a test
52. Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil
53. Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it
54. Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was.
55. Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were
56. Looked into an overhead light purposefully while it was on
57. Got up early and got ready for school/work/meeting, then realized that you didn't have school/work/meeting that day.
58. Have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it
60. Have ever laughed at a joke that no one else thought was funny or a movie
61. Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa
62. Said funner, then had someone make fun of you for it
63. Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence
64. Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person *always an awkward one
65. Didn't do the backside of an assignment because you thought that there wasn't one because you had already looked and forgot that there was another side.
66. Did more work than you had to on an assignment because you didn't read the directions
67. Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong
68. Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it
69. Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out
70. Told a lie then forgot what it was that you had said and got caught multiple times.
71. When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face
72. Forgot to make sure that the lamp was off before you replaced the light bulb
73. Ran into a door jam
74. Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid
75. Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it
76. Have purposely licked playground sand
77. Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band
78. Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren't
79. Have been so hyper you actually scared people
80. Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would pull your hairs out
81. Put a clothes pin/hair clip on your lip, figured out that it hurt, then did it again
82. Put duct tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off
83. Sat and wondered why men’s dress shirts have a loop on the back
84. Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about
85. Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair
86. Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone
87. Shaved your tongue because you thought your taste buds looked weird *What the fudge?
88. When at a restaurant/cafeteria, you used your spoon to fling stuff at people
89. Have flung forks at people in a restaurant/cafeteria
90. Sucked on a cup and got a hickey from it *lolzz
91. As you were writing, you moved your head back and forth with your pen/pencil
92. Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers then named them
93. Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paper
94. Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours
95. Started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story
96. When you saw a ‘beware of dog’ sign, you told the owners to beware of the dogs not realizing they owned the dogs
97. You have spelled your own name wrong before
98. When lying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling.
99. Have used your calculator as a form of communication in class.
100. Have popped a balloon in your mouth

You all should know by now I can't resist pasting things onto my profile.

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirt
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist or a pyromaniac.
I wear GLASSES so I MUST be a dork.

How to Tell if You're a Writer

-If you talk to yourself.
-If you talk to yourself about talking to yourself (i.e. ‘I wonder why I talk to myself so much?’)
-If, when you talk to yourself, you sometimes speak as if talking to another person (i.e. ‘Okay, so have you ever noticed that the word ‘deliver’ could mean removing someone’s liver?’)
-If, after uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand in awe and say, ‘Wow, this is good stuff for sugar highs!’
-If you live off of sugar and caffeine.
-If people start to notice that you tend to check your e-mail every day for a week, then suddenly disappear off the face of the planet.
-If your e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
-If, when replying to someone else’s e-mail, you are sometimes so random that you fail to address the original message altogether.
-Ifyou tend to collect the Bic Stics people leave lying around, kind of like picking pennies off the ground.
-If, no matter where you are in your room, you never have to so much as get up to reach a pen/pencil and paper.
-If the letters are starting to wear off on the keys of your keyboard.
-If people think you might have A.D.D.
-If you think it’d be cool to have A.D.D.
-If you start constantly talking in third person, past tense.
-If you think about making lists like this, and start giggling for no ‘apparent’ reason.
-If your friends don’t even bother to look funny at you anymore when you start giggling for no apparent reason.
-And finally, the number one way to tell if you’re a good writer: If you worship English 101

MY GUY SIDE:
x You love hoodies.
x You love jeans.
x Dogs are better than cats
x It's hilarious when people get hurt.
x You've played with/against boys on a team.
x Shopping is torture.
x Sad movies suck
x You own/ed an X-Box.
x Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
x At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
x You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
x You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
x You watch sports on TV.
x Gory movies are cool.
x You go to your dad for advice.
x You own like a trillion baseball caps.
x You like going to high school football games.
x You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
x Baggy pants are cool to wear.
x It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
x Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
x You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
x Sports are fun
x Talk with food in your mouth.
x Sleep with your socks on at night.

TOTAL: 14/25

MY GIRL SIDE:
x You wear lip gloss/stick.
x You love to shop
x You wear eyeliner.
x You wear the color pink.
x Go to your mom for advice.
x You consider cheerleading a sport.
x You hate wearing the color black.
x You like hanging out at the mall.
x You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
x You like wearing jewelry.
x Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
x Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies
x You don't like the movie Star Wars.
x You were in gymnastics/dance
x It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
x You smile a lot more than you should
x You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
x You care about what you look like.
x You like wearing dresses when you can.
x You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
x You love the movies.
x Used to play with dolls as little kid.
x Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
x Like being the star of every thing

Total: 8/25

MY EMO SIDE:
x You own at least 5 black shirts
x You like skinny jeans
x You’re listening to music right now
x You have painted your fingernails black before
x You have more than 300 songs on your ipod/ mp3/ itunes
x Like the color black
x Dislike most girly girls
x Have dyed your hair dark or want to (my hair is naturally dark!)
x Sometimes like to be alone
x Hate "popular" music
x Keep hair in front of your face
x Have given people evil stares
x Don't get along with parents
x Life sucks for you
x Have been called emo
x Dislike the colors pink, teal and baby blue
x Complain a lot
x Owned a studded belt or want one
x Listen to rock, metal, screamo music.

Total: 17/19 RTHIS MEANS NOTHING.

MY JOCK SIDE:
x Own at least 5 jerseys
x Have 10 or more trophies
x Wear hair in ponytail, like everyday
x Love sports
x Own 5 or more sweatpants
x Don't wear makeup
x Have / had played lacrosse
x Currently playing more than 2 sports
x Can play a sport if you’ve never played it before
x You play/ played Basketball on a team
x You play/ played baseball- softball on a team
x You play/ played soccer on a team
x You play/played volleyball on a team
x You run/ran track
x You play/ played football on a team
x Been called a jock
x Have set a record
x Are friends with your coach
x Love watching sports
x Can do 15 push ups without getting tired

Total: 13/20

I be born the wrong gender... Also I'm emo.

Tsundere (Harsh Outside-Gentle Inside)
[x] You come off as sort of aloof to other people.
[x] In public, you intentionally refrain from showing much weakness.
[x] You have a secret obsession with something cute.
[x] You pretend that you hate your crush even though you really love him/her.
[x] You blush when people point out your sensitivities.
[ ] You blush when people tell sexual jokes.
Total: 5/6

Yandere (Gentle Outside-Harsh Inside)
[ ] You’re very sweet and kind in public.
[ ] When romance becomes a topic of discussion, people say your personality changes drastically.
[ ] You know some sort of martial art, swordplay, or otherwise
[x] You have a friend who you’d literally kill for.
[x] You have a pet-peeve that makes you snap.
[ ] Schizophrenic?
Total: 2/6

Meganekko (Girl/Guy-with-Glasses Character)
[x] You have glasses.
[x] You are/can sometimes always be clumsy, ditzy, or absent-minded.
[ ] You are always very polite in your speech.
[x] You are fairly intelligent in some field.
[x] You take discipline seriously.
[x] You have some sort of fetish for something.
Total: 5/6

Tsukkomi (Angry Guy/Girl in classical theater)
[x] You have a friend who often makes dumb or embarrassing remarks.
[x] You smack/beat up this friend in some way.
[x] You do your best to maintain a calm facade, only to be thwarted by this friend.
[x] If you & your friend were a yin-yang, you’d be the “yin”
[x] You swear a lot.
[ ] You try to bring out the more serious side of your ridiculous friend.
Total: 5/6

Boke (Guy/GIRL in classical theater)
[ ] You often make silly or embarrassing comments.
[ ] You like annoying the heck out of your best friend.
[x] You often get beaten up by your friend in some way, but you take it in good stride.
[ ] If you & your friend were a yin-yang, you’d be the “yang”.
[ ] You are normally very laid back and carefree.
[ ] You try to bring out the happier side of your angry friend.
Total: 1/6

Nadeshiko (Perfect Wife)
[ ] You are always, almost overly, polite.
[x] You love traditional Japanese culture.
[ ] You often wear either a kimono, yukata
[ ] You’re an excellent cook.
[ ] You are hardly ever angry.
[ ] You have really long hair.
Total: 1/6

Sexy Character
[ ] Your bust/package is...formidable.
[ ] You like making sexual innuendos.
[ ] You encourage trips to the beach, pool, or onsen
[ ] There are some sexual things that you are ignorant to or need explained to you.
[ ] You’re an expert cosplayer.
[ ] You like the taste of alcohol.
Total: 0/6

Loli/Shota Character
[x] You like sweets or chocolate.
[x] You adore cute things and/or the word “kawaii”.
[ ] You use Japanese suffixes like “-chan,” “-tan,” “-sempai,” etc...
[x] You add unnecessary suffixes to the ends of your sentences, like “nyo,” “nyu,” “un,” etc...
[x] You are considered gullible or naive.
[x] You have a tall/powerful friend who protects you.
Total: 5/6

How to Tell you watch, play, and/or read too much Pokemon by Waveripple of Team Sunrise:

1. You think Pokemon is the most awesome game, manga, and anime ever.

2. You rant about Pokemon to your friends.

3. You rant about Pokemon to your friends, and you KNOW they’re not listening to you.

4. You think Pokemon should have a life-action movie made.

5. You never thought of #4 but think it would be awesome anyway.

6. When you lose is some horrible, embarrassing manner, you run away yelling ‘We’re Blasting off again!’

7. You’re going to do #6 next time you are defeated in a horrible, embarrassing manner.

8. Your parents are worried about your Pokemon obsession.

9. Your parents are NOT worried about your Pokemon obsession.

10. You have dreams about your favourite shippings.

11. You have nightmares about the shippings you loathe.

12. You wish you had a Pokemon,

13. You wish you WERE a Pokemon.

have spent more than 40 hours on a Pokemon game training your Pokemon and are only half way through.

15. You know for a FACT that Pikachu is super Badass.

16. You want to dress up as a Pokemon or a Pokemon trainer.

17. You HAVE dressed up as a Pokemon or a Pokemon trainer before.

18. You can say every Pokemon’s name when given a picture of them up to Gen. IV

19. You can say every Pokemon’s name when NOT given a picture up to Gen IV.

20. You have posters of Pokemon on your walls

21. You have a kick-ass Pokemon party in your Pokemon game.

22. You have a kick-ass Pokemon party in your mind.

23. You think about Pokemon in odd places at odd times. (I.E.: In a classroom during a test, in the middle of a conversation, etc.)

24. You like having a Poké -ession.

25. You doodle Pokemon on important papers (I.E.: Paperwork, homework, tests, etc.)

26. You have started to pass the Poké -ession to a friend.

27. You HAVE passed the Poké -ession to a friend.

28. You want to have a huge Pokemon themed party.

29: You have had a huge Pokemon themed party.

30. You post this on your profile and add your name to this list: Waveripple of Team Sunrise, DAMLWinner, LoveLoverGrl, Empress Empoleon, Top Coordinator 123, Cream-Soda-PSH

What makes life 100 percent?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100 percent? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants more than 100 percent. How about achieving 103 percent? Here's a little math that might prove helpful.

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

then:

H A R D W O R K
8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98

K N O W L E D G E
11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96

but:

A T T I T U D E
1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100

and:
B U L L S H I T
2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103

So, it stands to reason that hard work and knowledge will get you close,
attitude will get you there, but bullshit will put you over the top.

And look how far this will take you...

A S S K I S S I N G
1 19 19 11 9 19 19 9 14 7 = 118

Think about it... and have a nice day at work... :)

I don't like little children, but I have to admit they can be amusing...

#1 The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the
apple tray: "Take only ONE . God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

#2 The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'"
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

#3 One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

#4 A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

#5 A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest have to test the electric fence for themselves.

Bravery is just a nice way of saying stupidity.

Ambition is just a lame excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

When in doubt we fight using fish!

Duct tape is like the force. Dark on one side, light on the other, and it holds the universe together.

If crime fighters fight crime, and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?

I'm not crazy; I'm just going sane in an insane world.

Haikus are easy
But sometimes they don't make sense
Refrigerator.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

Who ever said anything was possible never tried nailing jello to a tree.

Did you know that dolphins are so intelligent that within only a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand at the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

We say we love flowers, yet we pluck them. We say we love trees, yet we cut them down. And people still wonder why some are afraid when told they are loved.

To the world you may be one person, but to one person, you may be the world.

No tresspasing, violaters will be shot and survivors will be shot again.

I AM NOT CRAZY! My reality is just different than yours...

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

Isn't it ineteresting how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'??

I'm prepared for all emergencies. But I'm totally unprepared for everyday life.

Sleep: A completely inadequate substitute for caffeine/sugar.

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words

If you always stop to smell the roses sooner or later you'll inhale a bee.

Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.

They keep saying the right person will come along; I think mine got hit by a truck.

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.

I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere.

Questions

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

If a turtle doesnt have a shell is he homeless or naked??

If money doesn’t grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

If the day before Christmas is called Christmas Eve, is the day after it Christmas Adam?

If there were a knowledge contest, would the female winner be called Miss Informed?

If a terminator is someone who kills, shouldn’t an exterminator be the opposite?

If there’s an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule?

If rabbits’ feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?

If anything’s possible, then is it possible that nothing’s possible?

If Practice makes perfect, and nobody’s perfect, then why practice?

If Americans throw rice at weddings, do the Chinese throw hamburgers?

If a Man is talking in the forest and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?

If a tree fell on a mime in the forest, would he make a sound and would anyone care?

If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide and seek, does he automatically lose because he can’t find himself?

If the cops arrest a mime, do they have to tell him he has the right to remain silent?

9 things I hate about everyone

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my ass when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.
3. When people say 'Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too'. Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say 'it's always the last place you look'. Of course it is. Who the hell keeps looking?
5. When people say while watching a film 'did you see that?' No moron, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.
6. People who ask 'Can I ask you a question?'... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8. When people say 'life is short'. What the hell? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks 'Has the bus come yet?' If the bus came would I be standing here, Einstein?

Reasons Why the Human Race Has Only Evolved Thus Far:

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

Oooh, last thing (for now):
Visit my Deviant!!
/