Hi

I'm really not good at these, so I'll keep it short

I live in wales ( no comments please!) I'm 16, and comparatively unstable.

The Mayan Project- http:///1876.html

Email me if you want and expect a reply! You may not get one, but expect away!

I write stories about things. Every two years I might update one. I am so unbelievably lazy I might just expire right now.

You know you live in 2012 when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screenname or myspace

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Boy: No
Girl: Do you like me?
Boy: No
Girl: Do you want me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you live for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Choose--me or your life
Boy: My life
The girl runs away in hysterical shock and the boy watches evilly and says..
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're ugly.
The reason why I don't like you is because I hate you.
The reason I don't want you is because I don't need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I don't really like you.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I don't see the point.
The reason why I'm not willing to do anything for you is because I feel like slapping you.(boy slaps her).
The reason I chose my life is because I like it better.
The girl runs away crying and I remove my boy disguise and say: 'That was fun.'
If you find this sort of thing cheesy and sickening, copy and paste it into your profile

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and sit back and smirk as everyone wonders just how the heck you managed it

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isnt for you

If all else fails, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door

The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on

I'm smiling. That really should scare you.

Better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt

Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience

Someday, we'll look on this, laugh nervously and change the subject

I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me

Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them

Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas

If I had any dignity that would have been humiliating.

That which does not kill me had better run pretty dang fast.

Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

When in doubt, push random buttons!

Fighting is mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter

If you can't beat the computer at chess, try kickboxing.

When you talk to God, that's religion. When God talks to you, that's psychotic.

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.

Last night I was looking up at the stars when suddenly I wondered..."Dude, where the heck's my ceiling?"

There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.

They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill many people...

Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you just keep on talking

He who laughs last thinks slowest

An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work

I'm not cynical, I just see things the way they are

I respect your opinion, I just think it's stupid

It's not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

A clear conscience is usually a sign of memory loss.

There are no stupid questions, just a lot of inquisitive idiots.

The secret to success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’re good

I'm not as dumb as you look

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

Sarcasm is one more free service we offer.

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

Some people are like slinkies. They seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs.

Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to

Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing

Silence is golden but duct tape is silver.

Anything thrown hard enough should hurt.

Flying is simple, you just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Some say the glass is half full, some say it's half empty, I say, "Are you gonna drink that?"

When I was born, I was so shocked that I didn't talk for a year and a half.

Where there's a will...I want to be in it.

Do not disturb, I'm disturbed already.

The trouble with life, is there's no background music.

I couldn't repair you brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A clean house is a sign of a broken computer!

Do not walk behind me for I may not lead, do not walk in front of me for I will not follow. If you want to walk besides me, go far it, but don't expect a big reaction...

For people who like peace and quiet: Get a PHONELESS CORD!

I don't get even, I get odder.

I have a photographic memory, but it takes a day to develop.

I've learned from my mistakes, and I'm sure I could repeat them exactly, if it's worth it.

Light travels faster than sound. That is why...some people seem bright until you hear them speak.

You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

An optimist is someone who falls off the empire state building and after 50 floors says "So far so good!"

If Fed ex and UPS merge, they would be called Fed UP.

Chaos, panic, pandemonium, my work here is done.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

Love me, Hate me, make a voodoo doll of me and stick it full of pins, I will continue to be indifferent to you.

To be alone is to be different; to be different is to be alone.

The beatings will cease once moral improves.

Excuse me while I find a container for my joy.

People who think they know everything annoy those of us who do.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you talk so fast no one can understand you unless they try really hard and even then it's a struggle, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever done anything incredibly stupid for no apparent reason, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile