Welcome, all, to the realm of BlackMarketTrombones (BMT for short). Technically, it’s also SuperMoose’s realm, but as she doesn’t care enough to help me update our profile (which admittedly few of you will read), I’m claiming it all for myself. :p

First order of business: No, I don’t have multiple personalities; no, I don’t have a verbose muse that likes to write her own fics; there are two of us, BMT and SuperMoose. We share because we’re related and Sharing is Good. Also because we like each other (a rare enough trait in siblings) and just felt like it. We always specify who the author of a fic is in the summary and usually in the Author’s Note as well so there won’t be any confusion (not that anyone would care enough to be confused as long as they get their fanfiction fix, but I like to be thorough).

Second order of business: SuperMoose does everything on this site, and when I say everything, I mean reviews (and alerts, and favorites, etc.). I am far too terrified of you people to review or respond to your reviews. This is because, through unfortunate experience, I have discovered that I am incapable of typing out three lines without shoving my foot so far down my throat that it becomes stuck on my uvula. This is not to say I don’t read your reviews—quite the opposite. Like most every author I’ve come across, I’m a whore for feedback. It makes me feel warm and glowy inside. Just be warned that, unless you have a question about the content or have corrected a grievous error in my work, I probably won’t respond. I’m not trying to be haughty, I’m just a wimp.

Third order of business: I fear romance. I doubt I will even attempt it, but if I do, it will only be heterosexual pairings. Before you jump down my throat, no, I don’t hate gay people; no, I don’t think they should all burn in hell; no, I’m not trying to impose my beliefs on anyone. If you’re going to PM me about something to do with this, you might as well not waste your time because I plan to ignore you. I have no doubt that if I were attempt to write a homosexual pairing, I would screw it up so thoroughly that you would think I’m one of those people spouting nonsense about deaths in the Middle East being God punishing America for allowing homosexuality to exist. Plus, as I mentioned earlier, I fear romance and probably won’t risk it. That said, I’m ambivalent toward Transformers romance. I follow the ‘androgynous-machines-therefore-genderless’ camp, so if I ever write about a pairing from that fandom, it may be considered slash by some standards. However, the idea of giant alien robots having sex is just too implausible to me, so there will be no TF smut in any of the following stories. (There will be no smut period, actually, because that’s just icky.)

Fourth order of business: I take my writing seriously (“Then why do write fanfiction, BlackMarketTrombones?” you may ask, to which I will reply after a long pause, “Shut up.”), especially grammar, which I believe is the very least that any writer must have. Therefore there are several things that I do not approve of, all for the same reason. They are as follows: crack, poor characterization, and character bashing. The reason is this: they undermine the original author’s hard work. I can take all but the latter in a humor fic or parody (many of my complaints with these relate to the fact that they tend to be poorly written, but I actually hope to write a crack-fic disguised as a plausible plot at some point), but bashing is unimpressive, no matter how annoying the character is.

About me (but not really ‘cuz I don’t want internet stalkers): I tend to write about a variety of topics in a variety of worlds using a variety of characters. Basically, this site is my ‘whatever I feel like’ free for all. Generally, I find a fandom I like and stick to it like glue until I get bored of it. I’ve been on a Transformers kick for a while (all thanks to SuperMoose) and I don’t appear to be running out of material, so maybe this will be the fandom to break the mold. Maybe not. I’ve been writing less now that summer break is over (amazing how school seems to sap the creative juices), but I submit things at my prerogative, not yours. Unfortunately for you, I put my responsibilities as drum major before entertaining strangers, but I’ll try to churn something out every once in a while.

That’s about it. SuperMoose wants desperately to beta. I suppose I wouldn’t mind doing so either, but if you want me it’s only fair of me to offer advance warning—in my opinion, editing does not simply mean fixing spelling and grammar; it also means making suggestions about how to make something better. I like to copy stories into MS Word and practicing my editing on them. Some of them are completely unrecognizable when I’m done. Just make sure you specify if you want this or editing lite (straight grammar and spelling) when you PM me.

Enjoy your stay.

--BlackMarketTrombones