March 27, 2014: Begin Again

Hello there! I'm Agent S7, and I've been on Fanfiction.Net for twelve years now, and I've been writing stories on here for almost ten. Weird how time flies, isn't it?

Though I've written fanfiction for quite some time, I haven't been very active recently, preferring to focus on my own original fiction. I still drop in from time to time, though, and on 27 March, 2014, I posted a rewrite of my first significant fanfic ten years to the day after I wrote it.

Ye Old Fanfiction Index

--FlameX:

(March 27, 2004)

The first fanfiction I ever published, and it's pretty obvious. Still, I've seen much worse as far as first fanfics go, and the character of Blaze still has a nice creepiness to him. And despite the many flaws it has, it's still incredibly important to me as a writer and as a person. It became part 1 of a trilogy, because I'd started at this point having that nasty fascination with trilogies so many writers fall into.

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention a couple fanfics here. They were big influences on the series, and my fics in general.

The first is the brilliant and horrific Immortality Syndrome series by Parsec. It still holds up well, and I still find it disturbing. It...might not have been a good idea to read that when I was ten. Yeah, that was my bad.

The other was the epic, anime-inspired Powerpuff League by Crystal Fenix. Blaze probably wouldn't exist without Bane, a villain with different goals and powers but a similar attitude and appearance. Check it out...but know that Powerpuff League never had a proper ending.

--Bubbles Becomes a Goth:

Oh, come now. Do I really have to talk about this one? Read the title. Concentrate. Figured out what it is yet? A crackfic by someone who confused goths with hipsters, but at least had quite a bit of fun doing so. Looking back at the reviews, I can't help but grin at a couple of them. Overreacting a bit, aren't we? Why so serious, goths? ;-)

--Ice Eternal:

Hands-down, this is my favorite part of the FlameX series. It's the creepiest, the most interesting and probably the most personal of those dark three fanfics. I'd been battling with obsessive-compulsive disorder my whole life without knowing what it was, and I'd finally started seeing someone about it. Now that I'm older, it's blatantly obvious that this is what the story's really about: dealing with intrusive thoughts and the fear of losing control.

As an adult, I can't help but read this and wonder what the f@#$ is the writer's deal...until I remember that the writer is me, and I'm only a little more well-adjusted than that young teenager was all those years ago. Ah, the joy of being a writer!

--Game Girl

Have you ever seen those TV shows where someone wants to write about video games but clearly has almost never played them? This little fanfic was written by someone who rarely got a chance to play console video games, but loved to play them when he had the chance. It was fun, silly, and I still smile whenever I remember the W-Box.

--Samurai Boomer

This is probably one of my favorites. A sort of fatherhood epic about two wanderers: one a heroic samurai and another a troublemaking punk with a very short history of supervillainy. I remembered loving this story, and being happy about how well-received it was.

--The Day Buttercup's Head Exploded

Wackest crackfic you'll ever read. It's a shame I never followed up on Darth Vader and Mojo Jojo's touching relationship, but perhaps we should respect their privacy.

--A Really Funny Teacher

Wow. Okay, I've always felt weird about this one. It came from a growing interest in Batman and the awesome characters of that mythos. More importantly, it came from how bad I felt for the character of Harley Quinn, one of the darkest villains in the whole shebang. Poor Quinn is constantly abused by the Joker in Batman stories, and it only got worse as she graduated from the cartoons to the comics. I wanted to write a happy ending for her...but how? I'd just written a massive Samurai Jack crossover, and the colorful world of DC Comics was much less of a stretch than that. The rest just fell into place.

That said, the story still makes me uncomfortable somehow. Maybe it's the dark themes of the story that clash with the world of the Powerpuff Girls—even the FlameX series dealt more with fantastic or allegorical horror than the very real evil of spousal abuse. Or maybe it's the fact that Harleen only escaped after she found a better man instead of making her own choice.

Whether those are flaws or just me imagining problems, this is still another one that I'm proud of. Because I'm Batman.

--Sunday, 12 AM

My family had a broken answering machine around this time. Before every message, it would read one day in a mechanical voice: “Sunday, 12 AM.” The words annoyed them, then they started fascinating me. What would that mean, if everything was one day forever? So began this surreal fantasy. It would end with me saying goodbye to my Powerpuff fanfics once and for all...and then immediately deciding against it.

The character of Book, the WriterRuff boy, is an actual character that I really wrote about at around the age of 10. It was my first fanfic, and it was almost completely terrible. Interestingly, it did foreshadow some stuff I would later deal with in the FlameX series: possession and more X-beings, for instance. Otherwise, the fanfic was your average Gary Stu story...and I've never regretted turning that boring bastard Book into a villain. It's exactly what he deserved.

--FlameX: Inferno

Oh, FlameX: Inferno. Look, if you read this one? I'm sorry. I really am. I'm sorry for subjecting you to such an underwhelming finale.

It's not awful, exactly. There are cool ideas: Blaze comes back, Blossom learns how to use her powers, there's a secret evil cult below Townsville. But the whole thing feels scattered and derivative. One review actually called me out on lifting Blossom and Blaze's conversation from the Buffy musical.

And it's clearly inspired by Buffy. From the end-of-the-world plot to the eldritch gods, from the cults to the reappearance of Angel—er, Blaze—the story changes moods yet again. The first was superhero action, the second horror, and this third is fantasy. It's not a bad idea, all in all, but poorly executed.

The part I feel worst about was the Deus Ex Machina ending. I needed a happy ending—I couldn't stand the thought of leaving things so melancholy. I was tired of writing FlameX. I wanted to get it over with. So I just brought back a certain character from the dead without any explanation and then ended the story, all in a single line. Yuck.

But like I said, there are good ideas hidden in here. And the best parts are the most personal: as I learned to deal with my OCD, I realized that only by accepting my anxieties could I overcome them. Batting away at them only made them worse. Similarly, Blossom and Blaze counter their evil alter egos by accepting that they exist but refusing to let them dictate their actions. They'll do what they want: they won't follow those dark spirits, but they won't let them dictate their actions by doing the opposite of what they say either. By admitting their fear, they free themselves from it. And that is what makes this entire story worthwhile.

Also, I added a portent of doom to the end yesterday. So perhaps you should be ready for something new, dear reader. In the words of Harry Chapin:

“All my life's a circle, and I can't tell you why. Seasons spinning round again, the years keep rolling by.”

--Nightmares of the Past

And so began the first of my terminally unfinished stories. This was another Professor-centered story, like Funny Teacher, but this was going to be quite a bit darker. I mean, it opened with the Powerpuff Girls completely disappearing and presumed dead. Not light fare, and my first M-rated fanfic.

Nightmares is a story that readers seemed to like more than I did. It wasn't that I didn't find the story interesting. In fact, I still don't know why I never finished it. Was I starting to run out of steam? Was I too disturbed to finish it? I don't know. But for those of you desperate for a proper ending, I'll reveal what would've happened...

The Professor delves deeper and deeper into the secrets of the mansion. He discovers that Mike Believe's own reality-warping power was focused by the typewriter. Mike created a monster that has infested the entire house. What's worse, the Powerpuff Girls have become puppets of that creature. Blossom is a blood-sucking monster, Bubbles is a ghost, and Buttercup is a werewolf (I swear, it's scarier than it sounds). Utonium has to escape his own daughters as they are forced to try and kill him. Eventually, he makes his way to the focal point—the typewriter—and destroys it. But his girls are still dead. The curse slowly begins to fade, and they have enough time to say goodbye before passing on.

I could probably say something here about Mike representing my fears about writing, but ehh. I've said enough. Obvious allegory is obvious.

--Samurai Boomer: Peace of Night

Another story with more of a horror slant, this one ran out of steam like Nightmares had. It was clear that I was running out of ideas in my first fandom. Try as I might, I couldn't get this one to click. I still like the set-up, but there was no clear direction. In the first story, Jack and Boomer had to take down Aku. Here? I had no idea. Something something vampire something something.

--Chemical Bonding (Missing Story)

Ugh. This one was stupid. Bubbles and Boomer somehow become teenagers through a crazy random science happenstance. They fall in love or whatever. Awkward hilarity ensues. I realized quickly that I had no idea what I was doing with this one, and I deleted it a few years later.

At least readers seemed to like it while it was up. I hope they saved it or memorized it, because it's one of the only things I'm never putting up again.

--Madness

Now this was a good story—the last PPG story I wrote before trying out other fandoms. The twist is pretty obvious, but it's still an unnerving little fic. Like FlameX, I played with the idea of Chemical X and what it really is. Like Ice Eternal, this one's about mental illness...it's just far more obvious about it.

--Raven: Bloodline

WHOA. He knew about Trigon before he showed up! Does he have psychic powers? No, he's just a comic book nerd.

Teen Titans, my second fandom. I friggin' love this show. It's what inspired me to read the comics. The comics, in turn, inspired my very loose adaptation of the Trigon story in fanfic form. I still love this one. It was a lot of fun to write, and I still like the happy ending I gave Raven. It was also a blast injecting obscure DC characters into it: Jason Blood's appearance confused a lot of readers, and I had to make it clear that I didn't make him up myself.

A lot of people loved this one.

--Tangy Orange of the Dark Side

This chilling, action-packed prequel to The Day Buttercup's Head Exploded will change your life. You'll laugh! You'll cry! You'll cringe as I make a joke about Yoda's giant, green virile “lightsaber!”

--Dib and Raven (FFN)

or

--The Child With The Enormous Head Meets the Freaky Psychic Girl (ToonZone)

Like “Raven: Bloodline,” I wrote this one for a forum...and decided to make a chapter title so long that it used up the whole subject line. It wouldn't even fit on Fanfiction.Net!

This was a fun piece, and a much better shipping piece than The Fanfic That Shall Not Be Named. A couple readers had a problem with the characters' ages, but I use the age-old fanfic excuse of “this is a few years after that one story, so Dib is now as old as Raven.”

Also, apocalyptic cults were back. I love me some apocalyptic cults!

--The Fall

The big one. Star Wars and Powerpuff Girls. This one seemed like a great idea at the time, but it became clear that it was going to be much too big of a project for me. Another unfinished project, and I forgot the ending to this one. It's a Star Wars story, though: you probably know where it's going anyway.

--Quake

This one is weird. I actually finished it, but I never posted the whole thing on . I was becoming more and more focused on the forum. Though this really took off over there, it never seemed to catch on here. I'm probably not going to post the whole thing, either, so my apologies if you were a huge fan. I think you can still find it if you do a search, though. Just do an internet search on “Quake” “Teen Titans” and “ToonZone.”

I really liked this one, too. I could relate to Beast Boy a lot more than Raven. Though I never liked it quite as much as “Bloodline,” I still thought this was a good superhero romp.

--Empire

A one-shot that wasn't meant to be. I was going to take a darker look at Star Wars, examining the people of the Empire and what it's like to be one of the bad guys without knowing it. No one read it. And if you read it and didn't review, you suck. No offense.

--All Your Titans Are Belong To Us

In the year 2006, troll was beginning!

“What happen?” “Somebody set up us the meme. We get signal...IT'S A CRACKFIC.” “HOW ARE YOU GENTLEMEN. ALL YOUR FANFIC TRIBUTES ARE BELONG TO US. YOU ARE ON THE WAY TO HILARITY. YOU WILL NOT SURVIVE MAKE YOUR TIME. HAHAHAHA.”

Take off every review! Move way to understanding joke fic! FOR GREAT JUSTICE.

--It's Not Easy

Teenage Beast Boy wangst. A nice way to relax, and this one has its fans. Not my favorite, but not bad.

The Following Takes Place on Monday

Did you ever watch 24? I loved that show. It was so much fun, and yet so over-the-top at every moment. I decided to turn that Serious Business up to the MAX. Welcome...to Monday morning.

--The End

Another one of my favorites. This one was inspired by Marvel's “The End” line of comics, where superheroes dealt with the end of civilization the way they dealt with everything: by beating stuff up. This story meant a bit more to me, though. It meant that even if I stopped writing PPG fics, the characters would remain. Some things never end.

I was more right then I realized, though it took me eight years to finally get on with it...

--Nighttime Thoughts

I became an Avatar fan. Toph is awesome. 'Nuff said.

--Moonblessed

Poor Yue. I wish she'd gotten more screentime. Maybe this short, melancholy piece was my attempt to rectify that.

A fun aside: this story is 666 words. I never noticed that until now. That settles it, the Sukka shippers are right: Yue is, in fact, the devil.

--Being Somebody

Another one-shot. It was becoming a theme: as time passed, I was becoming less and less interested in fanfiction and more interested in original fiction. Also, vidya games.

Like Moonblessed, this was a melancholy short piece about doomed characters. In particular, “Being Somebody” was my attempt to give Roxas and Namine a happier ending. Fortunately, it looks like it might be unnecessary. Nomura, you lovable lunatic you!

--Deep Dive

A melancholy short piece about...wait, hold on a second. Didn't I just...?

Um. Right. Like Moonblessed and Being Somebody, this was a quieter story more focused on characters and doomed love. The fun part was writing Sokka and Toph as Nobodies, a concept I've always liked in Kingdom Hearts. And like the short Deep Dive video at the end of Kingdom Hearts, this exploded into something crazy before crashing right into a cryptic ending.

Were people interested? Of course they were. So I decided it was a preview for something else...

--Avatar Hearts: Open the Door

...which was a mistake. I thought I was ready for a longer story again, but I was still too worn out to get back to that. The real shame is that this has a solid premise: the world of Avatar is swallowed by darkness due to the machinations of Azula, and Aang now takes the place of Sora to save the worlds.

The problem is, Aang was too similar to Sora and way too overpowered to give a keyblade. So like too many other projects, this got dropped. I wish I'd given the keyblade to Sokka instead, like some reviewers suggested—it'd be a nice change.

Where was it going to go? Turns out, various Avatar characters become Nobodies under the lead of Azula's Nobody. Their goal is to swallow the heart of the Avatar himself and use it to recreate their world...except Nobody!Azula, of course, who wants to become a goddess. Aang is helped along by Azula's Heartless, who had other plans...

--Lookalike

This one hurts. I still love this ugly little baby, and I still want to do something with the idea at some point.

I think Mary Sues and Gary Stus are fascinating, and here I decided to experiment with form. I'd just read the infamous My Immortal, and I wanted to do something related to that. So I used the concept of a Gary Stu as some kind of cosmic horror, coming in and completely taking over someone's life, controlling other characters and even warping the prose itself.

It was just too weird for Fanfiction.Net, and I think Poe's Law got me in the end: no one could tell that it was a parody, despite the jarring switch from normal to awful prose.

--The Ones You Left Behind

Love this one too. This one did have readers, and someday I feel like I'm going to do something about that.

There were two things I wanted to skewer with this: The way the Kingdom Hearts writers misused Kairi and Re:Coded.

Kairi's been screwed over so much in the series that it's not even funny. She showed such potential in the first game, and looked like she was developing into one of the main heroes in Kingdom Hearts 2...before being forgotten about for almost four games. What would that be like, sitting on the sidelines as your two best friends ran off into danger time after time, leaving you all alone? How would it feel to lose your memories of someone close to you for a year and know you were missing a piece of your life? Would people call you crazy? Would you feel crazy? Would you get desperate or angry?

Re:Coded was a waste of money, time, and ideas. The characters act without purpose, the premise is flimsy at best, and the entire digital world is created thoughtlessly to achieve a very stupid goal. I wanted to portray that waste and emptiness in a tragic light.

Most of all, The Ones You Left Behind is about the rabbit-hole of escapism and the ease of slipping into a fantasy to avoid dealing with your problems.

I would normally tell you how I planned on ending it here, but I might still finish it. We'll see.

--The Queen of Broken Rocks

Another fanfic abandoned by readers and then myself. The Korra gang go to see a play. It's an EVIL play. Then everyone goes crazy, reality starts falling apart, and goofball Bolin finds that he's the only one who can save everything.

A shame that no one read this. I was going to start interspersing bits of stage direction, until the line between the “real” world and the world of the play became increasingly thing. So it goes...

--Haunt You Every Day

This was a blast, and to date it's my only Evangelion fic. Kaworu's a great character. I love his ambiguity, compassion and otherworldliness. Amusingly enough, I hadn't actually seen the third Rebuild movie when I wrote this. Somebody has just spoiled it for me.

--Lyra Versus Santa Claus

Written as a gift for a fellow forum-goer. Fun to write, but I'm not going to finish it.

Aaaaaand...that's it. For now, at any rate. Now fanfiction is something I write everyone once and a while on the side. I've got tons of ideas and not enough time to write them. Fanbases have come and gone, and I find myself reflecting to people who probably never read my oldest (and dearest) stuff.