(This is the equally sucky Special Edition! Before you yawn after reading this chapter, read the next one. That is all I must say. Thank you very much, S7)

Tangy Orange of the Dark Side

Secret7

Anakin was on the planet Bob when it happened. His mission there was to investigate a series of murders, all with people beating others to death with citrus fruits. It was a dangerous mission, the Jedi Council agreed, so they sent some guy named Joe with him.

Anakin was walking through the city streets, glancing at various products in a vacant hope to find something to cure him of his foot fungus when he saw a nice, shiny lookin' orange. It was for sale as a "Tangy Orange of the Dark Side", but he didn't believe it. Because, come ON! How could an orange be evil? Huh? HUH?

Ummm…yeah.

So he bartered to sell his spleen for the orange, and he got it. The moment he began to peel the orange, it called out to him…

"Eaaaaaattttt meeeeee….Eeeeeeaaaaaatttttt meeeeeeee!"

"Shut up and let me eat you!"

"OK."

So Anakin ate a slice of the orange, to save some of it for later. Suddenly he felt evil. Oh so evil. He walked down the street and ate an old lady.

"I AM THE LORD OF THE NINJA! W00T!" he screamed.

Joe walked up from behind him. "Hey, Anakin."

"Wassup?" he said, sticking out his radioactive tongue. He proceeded to rip out Joe's still-beating heart.

"Why are you ripping out my still-beating—GAK" Those were the last wretched words he'd ever speak. Then Anakin saw some Rodian kid walk up to him.

"Man, you look like ass!" Anakin shouted. "And you're green! I DON'T LIKE GREEN!"

The Rodian kid (who's name was Greedo) pulled out a Flesh-Disruptor rifle. "Okagjo swedfljsfd mcowjhr." (Say that again and I'll sever your very soul and feed it to my pet arachnid!)

Then, since this chapter was getting downright stupid, he ended the story.

TO BE CONTINUED…

OR IS IT?

OH, WHO THE HELL CARES. I'M GOING HOME NOW.

BYE. HEY, CAN SOMEBODY GET ME A SANDWICH?

DAMN. I WAS REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT SANDWICH…

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