Tangy Orange of the Dark Side

Episode II: Attack of Horniness

Secret7

One Fine Day on the Planet Coruscant…

Anakin was now held before the Jedi council. The short, green guy spoke.

"Accused of murder, you have been," he said.

"Yes, Master Yoda."

"Bad, this is."

"…um…Yes, Master Yoda."

"Homicide, you have been charged with."

"Yeah. I kind got that already."

"Killing, you have been said to have don-"

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SHUT UP! THIS GUY IS NOT WISE! HE'S VERBALLY DYSLEXIC!" Anakin shouted. "I want a puppy!" he added, hoping that Obi-Wan was listening.

"Angry, you are. Show us your side of the story, you will."

"Okey Dokey. I ate this orange. It is tainted with the Dark Side, yet strangely delicious. Here, take a piece."

Master Yoda picked up the slice and gobbled it down. His eyes dilated. He smiled. "Horny, I am."

"Master Yoda!" Obi-Wan shouted. "Are you well?"

"A woman I wish too sire. AKA, Horny I am."

"Master Yoda! Horniness is of the Dark Side!" Anakin shouted.

"Hypocrite," Padme muttered.

"Ooooh!" Yoda said, looking at the suddenly arriving senator. "Go to my place, do you want?"

"Well…" said Padme, thinking about it. "You seem to have more morals than Ani. OK."

Then Yoda and Padme began to make out.

"WHAT?" Anakin screamed. "Get your short, green hands off of her!" He pulled out a kind-of-cool lightsaber. "I'll kick your ass!"

"No. Kick your ass, I will," Yoda responded. He pulled out his saber handle. "Think that is a saber, you do? Saber this is!"

In a brilliant flash of light, an enormous beam of energy shot out of the Jedi Temple, flew out of the city, and shot into space. It flew through the galaxy, blowing up the Falcon, and eventually hitting Alderaan."

"Ah, shit. Oh well. Blow up, it was going to anyway," Yoda shrugged. "Episode IV that is."

Anakin had one last thing that could possibly cure Yoda of his horniness. He reached into his pocket, pulling out an old bit of pornography he had gotten years ago on Tattooine. He unraveled it, showing it to all of the Jedi Council.

"OH MY GOD! JABBA THE HUTT, THAT IS! NASTY THAT IS!"

Yoda ran into the bathroom to pay tribute to the Porcelain Goddess.

As he was barfing, Anakin smiled in triumph. He had saved the Jedi Council from the Tangy Orange of the Dark Side.

"Hey…" Obi-Wan said. "Where'd you get that picture anyway?"

"Internet."

"Then why are you keeping it with you?"

That he couldn't answer.

The End