VIVA LA VIE BOHEME!
~RENT~

Mark: Must be nice to have money
Mimi and Collins:No S~!T!
~RENT~

COLLINS I think it's only fair to tell you. You just paid for the funeral of the person who killed your dog.
BENNY I know. I always hated that dog . Let's pay him off and then get drunk
MARK I can't, I have a meeting
COLLINS & BENNY Punk! Let's go
~RENT~

JOANNE And the line is, "Cyber Arts and its corporate sponsor, Grey Communications, would like to mitigate the Christmas Eve riots..." What is so difficult...?
MAUREEN It just doesn't roll off my tongue. I like my version.
JOANNE You - dressed as a ground hog - to protest the ground breaking...
MAUREEN It's a metaphor!
JOANNE It's...less than brilliant.
~RENT~

ANGEL Alone at last.
COLLINS He'll be back - I guarantee.
ANGEL I've been hearing violins all night.
COLLINS Anything to do with me? Are we a thing?
ANGEL Darling - we're everything.
~RENT~

"Life is sometimes sad...and a purple pill makes it all better."
~Pillz-E~

Gillian:"How much did you give him?"
Sally: "I don't know Gillian. I wasn't using a measuring cup. He was trying to kill you."
~Practical Magic~

VIVE LA VIE, TO BOHEME
~Moulin Rouge~

Holly: Did I hurt him?
Jane: What do you mean did you hurt him, you hit him with a bat!
~Boys on the Side~

Robin: But this person who dumped her, she was gay, right?
Holly: Yeah, but even with gay girls there are no guarantees. They're very emotional. That's about all I know. They love uniforms and don't break their hearts.
Robin: Uniforms?
Holly: Oh, yeah, all kinds. Especially UPS
~Boys on the Side~

Elaine: She's a black lesbian? And she was living here...with you?

Elaine: Do you see the police?
Robin: Yes I see the police mother.

Abe: I live to uphold this name. I cannot tell a lie.
Jane: That's Washington you shmuck.

Abe: I love her.
Jane: Yeah I can tell by the manacles on her wrists.

Jane: This has got to be the mother.
Elaine: And who are you?
Jane: I'm the lesbo.

Lawyer: Are you gay?
Jane: Yes I am. And I bet you hear that from women all the time...but in my case it happens to be true.

Elaine: Never complain. Never explain. Katherine Hepburn. She said that in Redbook last month.

Lawyer: Are you a lesbian too, Ms. Nickerson?
Robin: No sir but at times I understand the inclination.
~Boys on the Side~

Bart: "The drunk in number two must be awake. Are we awake?"
Waco Kid: "We are not sure. Are we...black?"
Bart:"Yes we are."
Waco Kid: "Then we're awake, but we're very puzzled''
~Blazing Saddles~

Waco Kid: "Well my name is Jim, but most people call me...Jim"
~Blazing Saddles~

Estelle: I know you're stubborn as a mule but you dont have to act like a jackass.
~Family Matters~

Peter: Everything tastes better. Even this chocolate peanut butter tastes better.
Jack: Good. It's fudge mint.
~While You Were Sleeping~

NEAR-SIGHTED GYNECOLOGIST!
~Peter Pan, Hook~

"Wait. Did I miss something?THE MONKEY GETS THE HAT?"
"THE MONKEY GETS THE HAT."
~Miss Piggy's Henchman and Dorothy in the Muppet's Wizard of Oz~

"TOTO YOU'RE BIG."
"SI, BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY I AM NAKED,OK."
~Dorothy and Toto, Muppet's Wizard of Oz~

THE HILLS INTONATE WITH THE MELODIC (Falls asleep)
~THE ARGENTINEAN, Moulin Rouge~

NEVER FALL IN LOVE WITH A WOMAN WHO SELLS HERSELF; it always ends BAD!!
~THE ARGENTINEAN, Moulin Rouge~

"I KNOW SHE STILL LOVES HIM, THERE'S GOT TO BE A REASON."
"HOW ABOUT ONE OF THEM IS A DUKE AND THE OTHER. (Falls asleep)
~TOULOUSE AND ARGENTINEAN, Moulin Rouge~

"CHRISTIAN, HE'S GONE HYSTERICAL! THEY ARE TRYING TO KILL YOU! LOOK HE'S GOT A GUN."
"NO PROBLEM GO BACK TO WORK."
~TOULOUSE AND ARGENTINEAN, Moulin Rouge~

THE GREATEST THING YOU'LL EVER LEARN IS JUST TO LOVE AND BE LOVED IN RETURN!
~TOULOUSE, Moulin Rouge~

Jack Sparrow: holds up jar of dirt Oi! Fishface! Lose something? Eh? Scungili!
falls down stairs, holds up jar again
Jack Sparrow: Got it! Come to negotiate eh? Have you, you slimy git? Look what I've got.
sing-song
Jack Sparrow: I've got a jar of dirt, I've got a jar of dirt, and guess what's inside it!
~Pirates of the Caribbean:Dead Man's Chest~

Jack Sparrow: Now where is that monkey, I want to shoot something!
~Pirates of the Caribbean:Dead Man's Chest~

Tia Dalma: You know I demand payment.
Jack Sparrow: I brought payment. Look (shoots monkey)...an undead monkey. Top that.
~Pirates of the Caribbean:Dead Man's Chest~

Elizabeth(in disguise): Jack Sparrow! I'm looking for the man I love.
Jack: I'm deeply flattered lad, but my first and only love is the sea.
Elizabeth: Meaning William Turner.
Jack: Elizabeth. (Turns to Gibbs) Hide the rum.
~Pirates of the Caribbean:Dead Man's Chest~

Gibbs: Lift it! Lift it like it were a lady's skirt!
~Pirates of the Caribbean:Dead Man's Chest~

Gibbs: We've only got half a dozen barrels of powder!
Will Turner: Then load the rum!
long silence; crew stops working
Gibbs: Aye! The rum too!
~Pirates of the Caribbean:Dead Man's Chest~

Pintel: ...I always heard it said "kray-kin"
Ragetti: What? with a long A? Na-na-na-na-no-no no "Krah-ken"'s how it's pronounced in the original Scandinavian, and "Krakken"'s closer to that.
Pintel: Well we ain't original Scandinavians, are we?
Ragetti: It's a mythological creature, I can calls it what I wants!
~Pirates of the Caribbean:Dead Man's Chest~

Akane: Excuse me Ranma, but there's something I really think you oughta know. When Kuno's angry he's really hard to beat. You'd better start paying more attention to what you're doing or he's gonna make you regret it.
Ranma: And there's something that I think you oughta know. Those polka-dotted panties don't really suit you.
Akane: DRY UP AND DIE!! ~Kicks him~
~Ranma~

Elphaba: My father hates me...
Glinda: Gasps
Elphaba:...that's not the secret.
~WICKED~

There's a goat on the lamb!
~WICKED!

Sokka: Don't answer to twinkle toes, it's not manly.
Katara: Hey, you're the one whose bag matches his belt.

"What good is being appreciated if nobody's naked?"
~27 Dresses~

"Who'd ever think?
It's such a very pretty setting.
Tell me what's the betting.
Very pretty, pretty plotting too.
No matter - I've done all your work for you.
Who'd ever guess it?
Daughter in collaboration...with the very nation gave her father third degree.
Where's daddy? Dead or in the KGB?"
~Freddie: Chess~

"How'd we ever get this far
Before you showed me what you really are?"
~Freddie:Chess~

"I always knew it. Behind every great man is a woman with a vibrator."
~Hawkeye: MASH~