hi!!!

Female Comebacks

Man: Where have you been all my life? Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Your eyes they're amazing. Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing

Man: I'd like to call you. What's your number? Woman: It's in the phone book

Man: But I don't know your name Woman: That's in the phone book too

Man: I know how to please a woman Woman: Then please leave me alone

Man: I can tell you want me Woman: Ohhhh, your so right, I want you to leave

Man:My pretty face is leaving in ten minutes. Please, be on it.

Woman: Really, then it will be to smack you.

Man:Wanna go home and play Zookeeper? You be the lion and I'll feed you the meat.

Woman: If it's meat your giving me it better you because your DEAD meat to me.

95% of girls would sit and cry if Justin Beiber jumped off of the Empire State Building. Copy and Paste this if you are part of the 5% that would sit there with popcorn and a soda and yell, "Do a flip!"

Not all Hufflepuffs are weak (Cedric Digory)
Not every Ravenclaw is stuck up (Luna Lovegood)
Not all Slytherins don't know love (Severus Snape)
And not all Gryffindors are loyal (Peter Pettigrew)

Calling me GAY doesn't make you STRAIGHT. Calling me a SLUT doesn't make you a VIRGIN. Calling me MEAN doesn't make you NICE. Calling me STUPID doesn't make you a GENIUS. Calling me UGLY doesn't make you beautiful. Copy and paste this onto your profile if you want. What's the point of bullying, anyway? To all you bullies out there: I know your secret: You're insecure.

The girl you just called fat? She is over-dosing on diet pills. The girl you just called ugly? She spends hours putting makeup on, hoping people will like her. That boy you just tripped? He's abused enough at home. The man with the ugly scars? He fought for his and YOUR country. That kid you just made fun of for crying? His mother is dying. The girl you just called a freak? She committed suicide five minutes ago because she felt worthless. Copy and paste this on your profile. Bullying has to stop.

This is the stupidity test! 100 stupid things that people do! Bold the ones that you have done!

1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out

2. Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails

3. Broken a chair by leaning back in it

4. Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking

5. Choked on your own spit while you were talking
6. Had people tell you that you are blonde when you're not or had had people tell you that your blonde highlights are going to your head
7. Been caught staring at your crush by your crush him/herself
8. Have looked for something for at least 10 min then realized it was in your hand
9. Tried to push open a door that said pull
10. Tried to pull open a door that said push
11. Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love potion
12. Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else
14. Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave
15. Have gotten gum stuck in your hair
16. Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble
17. Have had the juice from a mini tomato squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it
18. Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard
19. Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name

20. Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip flops on or you were barefoot
21. Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on
22. Have fallen out of a moving vehicle
23. Have run into a closed door
24. Have almost shot someone with a real gun while trying to shoot something else
25. Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it
26. It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke
27. Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer
28. Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan
29. Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk
30. Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock
31. After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it
32. Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside
33. Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else
34. Ever been kicked out of a grocery store/off someones property

35. Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc on purpose even though you knew it was hot
36. Picked out your change of clothes, took off the ones you had on and then accidentally put the old clothes back on
37. Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in
38. Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard
39. Walked into a pole
40. Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident
41. Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house
42. Tried to take a picture of your/someone's eye with the flash on
43. Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small
44. Walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it
45. Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there forgot what is was that you were going to do.
46. Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it
47. Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up
48. Have poked yourself in the eye
49. Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on
50. Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair
51. Have done enough stupid things to make a test
52. Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil
53. Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it
54. Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was.
55. Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were
56. Looked into an overhead light purposely while it was on
57. Got up early and got ready for school/work/meeting, then realized that you didn't have school/work/meeting that day
58. Have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it
60. Have ever laughed at a joke or movie that no one else thought was funny
61. Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa
62. Said funer, then had someone make fun of you for it
63. Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence
64. Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person
65. Didn't do the backside of an assignment because you thought that there wasn't one or because you had already looked and forgot that there was another side
66. Did more work than you had to on an assignment because you didn't read the directionsCorrected
67.Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong
68. Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it
69. Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out.
70. Told a lie then forgot what it was that you had said and got caught
71. When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face
72. Forgot to make sure that the lamp was off before you replaced the light bulb
73. Ran into a door jam
74. Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid
75. Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it
76. Have purposely licked playground sand
77. Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band
78. Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren't
79. Have been so hyper you actually scared people
80. Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would pull your hairs out
81. Put duct tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off
82. Put a clothes pin/hair clip on your lip, figured out that it hurt, then did it again
83. Sat and wondered why men’s dress shirts have a loop on the back
84. Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about
85. Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair
86. Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone
87. Shaved your tongue because you thought your taste buds looked weird
88. When at a restaurant/cafeteria, you used your spoon to fling stuff at people
89. Have flung forks at people in a restaurant/cafeteria
90. Sucked on a cup and got a hickey from it.
91. As you were writing, you moved your head back and forth with your pen/pencil
92. Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers then named them
93. Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paper

94. Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours
95. Started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story
96. When you saw a ‘beware of dog’ sign, you told the owners to beware of the dogs not realizing they owned the dogs
97. You have spelled your own name wrong before
98. When lying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling.
99. Have used your calculator as a form of communication in class
100. Have popped a balloon in your mouth

If you're a Demigod copy this into your profile

ZEUS:

You like being in charge.

You often wish you could just zap someone with a thunderbolt.

You were voted Class President.

You do what’s best for everyone.

You have multiple exes.

You think you have what it takes to run for President.

You think every problem has a solution.

You love showing off.

You like plane rides.

You are hydrophobiac.

0/10

POSEIDON:

You feel at home in the water.

Your favorite vacation place is at the beach.

You enjoy snorkeling, scuba diving, surfing, etc.

You want to do something about the marine species being abused today.

You visit the local pool on a regular basis.

You swim competitively.

You hate seafood.

You never get seasick.

You'd rather ride a boat than a plane.

You are acrophobic.

4/10

HADES:

You're not that much of a people person.

You like staying in the dark and writing poems.

You experience bad moods on a regular basis.

You like listening to loud, angry music.

You spend most of your time alone.

You think parties are sometimes loud and annoying.

You like to keep to yourself.

All your closets are padlocked or you wish they could be.

You write in diary/journal.

You feel most active at night.

3/10

DEMETER:

You own a garden.

You like the great outdoors.

You have a green thumb.

You're an environmentalist.

You have a special connection with animals.

You're a vegetarian.

You like going hiking, camping, and looking at the natural wonders of the world.

You always check a product if it’s environmentally-friendly.

You love going to flower shops.

You think global warming is a threat that must be dealt with.

2/10

ARES:

You often start fights.

You're a very aggressive type of person.

You like watching wrestling.

You're competitive.

You like reading about war.

You don't take crap from anybody.

You have anger management.

You never back away from a fight.

Everyone does what you say.

You don't always think before you do something.

0/10

ATHENA:

You have an insatiable thirst for knowledge.

You're probably the only person who visit the library on a regular basis.

Half (or more) of your Christmas presents last year were books.

You like reading about war, mostly about the reasons and controversies behind it.

You're the valedictorian in your class.

You've never gotten a grade below 90 in your report card.

You get political jokes without asking people to explain them.

You think it would be better if you were the President.

You have a huge shelf of books at home.

You think vinyl pocket protectors are useful.

1/10

APOLLO:

You're very creative and artistic.

You want to be a doctor when you grow up.

You always feel sunny and optimistic.

You are talented at drawing.

You like writing poetry.

You can play at least 3 musical instruments.

You like going to art museums.

You almost always win 1st Place in Art Contests.

You have straight As in Art on your report card.

Your school notebook has more doodles than notes.

0/10

HUNTERS OF ARTEMIS:

You dislike boys in general.

A deer is one of your favorite animals.

You can shoot targets.

You like silver.

You like the moon better than the sun.

Zoe Nightshade is awesome.

You love wild animals.

You spend most of your time outdoors.

You love to move around the place.

Hunting is not cruel, if it's to hunt down monsters(and only monsters!).

0/10

HEPHAESTUS:

You have a way with tools.

You build awesome things during your free time.

You're one of the best at Woodshop in your class.

Metalworking is your forte.

You have your own toolbox.

You often search the Internet to look for pictures of robots.

You're a techie.

You can make things, fix things, and take things apart easily.

You dream of being a carpenter.

You aren’t afraid of fire.

0/10

APHRODITE:

Every guy/girl swoons for you.

You like putting on makeup.

You naturally smell good.

You never experience a bad hair day.

Your favorite activity is clothes-shopping.

You're always at the front of every trend.

You’re the popular girl/guy at your school.

You're often invited to parties.

You can easily convince people of things.

You look at yourself in the mirror on a regular basis.

0/10

HERMES:

You like pickpocketing your friends.

You're a prankster.

You're a speed demon.

You consider yourself restless.

You’re the best speaker in the class.

You like thinking on your feet and using your wits.

You’re inventive and resourceful.

You often start arguments.

You’ve never lost a debate.

You like making witty and sarcastic statements.

1/10

DIONYSUS:

You’re the life of the party.

You like wine.

You've probably tasted every alcoholic drink out there.

You can finish a martini in less than a minute.

You have a happy, cheerful disposition.

You're a foodie.

You like going to social events and mingling with people.

You like trying new food.

You feel that you're abundant in life.

You think that too much of anything is bad.

0/10

HECATE

Being called 'crazy' is a compliment.

You like magic.

You like Harry Potter.

You're bold.

You hate when people think you're the bad guy.

You dress dark, but your personality is cheerful and happy.

You couldn't care less about fashion.

Teddy bears are lethal in your hands.

You like being different from everybody else.

You can spend hours a day debating something ridiculous.

10/10

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, THE SOUNDTRACK WOULD BE...
Here's how it works:

1. Open your music library(iTunes, Media Player, iPod, ect)

2. Put it on shuffle

3. Press play

4. For every question, type the song that's playing

5. When you go to the new question, press the next button

6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool...

Opening Credits: Angles by Within Temptation

Waking Up: My Dynamite Will Blow You Sky High by Airbourne

First Day At School: Picture A Knife Fight

Making Your New Best Friend: Got It Made by Theory Of A Deadman

Falling In Love: Photograph by Nickelback

Breaking Up: Give Me Love by Ed Sheeran

Prom: Jillian (I’d Give My Heart) by Within Temptation

Graduation: Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) by Lady Antebellum

Life's Okay: Wayward One by Alter Bridge

Death of a Close Friend: Fade Away by Black Stone Cherry

Mental Breakdown: Never Go Back by Evanescence

Driving: Far Away by Nickelback

Flashback: Iron by Within Temptation

Getting Back Together: You Don’t Belong by Daughtry

Birth of a Child: Wanted You More by Lady Antebellum

Wedding Scene: In The Middle by Theory Of A Dead Man

Car Accident: Ready to Rock by Airbourne

Final Battle: Calm The Fire by Alter Bridge

Death Scene: The Thaw by Biffy Clyro

Funeral Song: Good Times Gone by Nickelback

End Credits: Louder Than Ever by Daughtry

98 percent of teens have tried smoking pot. If you haven't, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think hair color doesn't determine how smart you are, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your friends have ever called you evil, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're a House of Anubis Fan, copy and paste this-

ღ
ღღ
ღ HOA!!!
ღღღ

ø„"ºø„„øº" „øº"
"ºø„ House of Anubis „øº"
„øº" ROCKS!!! "ºø„
„øº"„øº""º ø„"ºø

You know you're a House of Anubis fan when...

You can't hear the term "party animal" without thinking of Alfie.

You can't listen to your history teacher talk about Lewis and Clark without giggling.

You can't think about prom without thinking about Fabian and Nina.

Whenever someone says you're insane, you say, "Very observant."

You want to go to a British boarding school just to see if some weird mystery starts unfolding.

You will ace anything you have to learn about Egyptian mythology.

You know your numerology number and have compared it to your favorite character's multiple times.

You compare yourself to Nina and try to figure out who the Fabian, Amber, Patricia, Alfie, Jerome, Mick, and Mara are in your life.

You think of Mick whenever anyone mentions a scholarship.

You think of Fabian when you think about astronomy.

You know what song Fabian and Nina danced to and are plotting to get your high school to play it at your prom.

You are constantly trying to figure out how to get deadly bugs into an hour glass to threaten your enemies with.

You have looked up what a degenerative condition is and you now feel very sorry for Mr. Winkler.

You have had at least one dream where you were Nina and your boyfriend was Fabian

*HOUSE OF ANUBIS FOREVER!*

Favorite HoA quotes:

"I will not give up; On Sarah, the quest, and certainly not on you." (Fabian Rutter, House of Anubis)

"Leave Her!" Fabian

"Didn't you use to be Mara?" Jerome

"I got it! Get a different face!" Alfie

"Where's Joy!?" Patricia

"It's ten o'clock! You all know what that means! You have five minutes precisely, then I want to hear a pin...drop!" Victor

"It's basically-the apocalypse!" Trudy

"Soon, you'll all be saying the Pledge of Allegiance" Nina

"But this is my signed copy of The Solar System is Your Friend!" Fabian

"I did not tell you creep!" Jerome

"...Hedgehogs!..."Mara

"I'm intrigued and completely frightened at the same time." Mara

"You think I'm a genius!?" Amber

"I think the house...is coming to life." Nina

"Why are you dressed as a duck?"
"I'm a canary."
"Oh,sorry,a canary dressed as a duck."

"What's with the stupid chicken outfit?"Fabian,Amber,Fabian,Mara

"Are you mad?!"
"Yeah, quite possibly." Sweetie and Rufus

"Fancy a bite?" Alfie

"...Girls in bikinis..." Jerome

"Falls off his chair in amazement (then actually does it)." Alfie

"Fabian! You're a genius! I love you!" Nina

"Alfie Lewis, champion of the earth! We're doomed." Patricia

"I ordered a doll's dress?"Amber, Jerome's impression(which was SO much funnier)

"Dar dare,dardar dis dall?"Alfie with his wolf mask describing Joy

"Sibooboo..." Alfie

"Will you go to the prom with me?"
"Yes."
"Yes. YES?!"
"Yes!"
"YES!!!" Fabian and Nina

"And you didn't pee your pants, so bonus..." Patricia

"NO! She's the Ice Queen! Icy Queen of Ice!" Jerome

"Welcome to "We-Love-Mara Land" Population: Jerome!" Alfie

"I've got my pin, and its ready to drop!" Trudy

"What are you doing miss Martin." Fabian

"Cruelty, thy name is Amber..." Jerome

"The Bible says always come prepared."
"Amber, thats the Boy scouts." Amber and Fabian

"Speak of the Devil. Literally, I'm surprised my phone didn't burst into flames..." Jerome

"And the plot thickens, as they say." Jerome

"I'm not scared of you!"
"We were thinking more about Rufus."
"Him I'm scared of." Jerome and Patricia

"Hello Victor, Sweetie here."
"HAHA! That was terrible!You need to work on your accent!" Fabian and Nina

"I hate it when the house talks..." Amber

"Toilet Duty. That's like five times this term." Alfie

"Tut tut, Fabian, tut tut." Amber

"I thought I was going to prom with Fabian...AHA!" Patricia

"You genius, genius, genius girl, you!" Fabian

"Mick's a meat-head." Jerome

"It's...girly stuff...that girls use...I can be really...girly at times..." Patricia

"Weird taste in films you got..." Nina

"Rufus! Ever heard of a phone?" Jerome

"Even Harry Potter didn't go till he was eleven..." Mara

"You got it!" "
"Got what?"
"Looks, brains, charm, everything you don't have Jerome." Nina, Jerome, and Fabian

"It would be the American, wouldn't it?" Jerome

"Adorable, now I'm starving!" Patricia

"Indeed you do Alfie, indeed you do!" Jerome

"Amber what's witht the cloves of garlic? This isn't twilight!" Fabian

"You wanted to be school rep, so I made sure you were. Welcome to politics!" Mick

"You're insane."
"Very observant, now go." Jason and Rufus.

"Curiouser and curiouser..." Jason

And pretty much everything EVER said in the show!!!

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you can read that please put it in your profile.

the next generation:

Hayden's first day: http:///haydens_first_day/set?id=74150546

Kylie's first day: http:///kylies_first_day/set?id=74153575

aria's first day: http:///arias_first_day/set?id=74152187

erika's first day: http:///erikas_first_day/set?id=74157540

hayden's 2nd day: http:///haydens_2nd_day/set?id=74170861

erica's 2nd day: http:///ericas_2nd_day/set?id=74167476

kylie's 2nd day: http:///kylies_2nd_day/set?id=74168278

aria's 2nd day: http:///arias_2nd_day/set?id=74169761

hayden's pe kit: http:///haydens_pe_kit/set?id=74232044

erica's pe kit: http:///ericas_pe_kit/set?id=74232414

kylie's pe kit: http:///kylies_pe_kit/set?id=74232249

aria's pe kit: http:///arias_pe_kit/set?id=74232144

hayden's pjs: http:///haydens_pjs/set?id=74163241

erica's pjs: http:///ericas_pjs/set?id=74162614

aria's pjs: http:///arias_pjs/set?id=74162032

kylie's pjs: http:///kylies_pjs/set?id=74162455

hayden's third day: http:///haydens_3rd_day/set?id=74222972

kylie's third day: http:///kylies_3rd_day/set?id=74226589

erica's third day: http:///ericas_3rd_day/set?id=74226297

aria's third day: http:///arias_3rd_day/set?id=74226881

hayden's date: http:///haydens_date/set?id=74178228

kylie's date: http:///kylies_date/set?id=74177794

hayden's 4th day: http:///haydens_4th_day/set?id=77833159

erica's 4th day: http:///ericas_4th_day/set?id=77833935

aria's 4th day: http:///arias_4th_day/set?id=77833481

kylie's 4th day: http:///kylies_4th_day/set?id=77833205

a new year a new mystery:

nina's school outfit: http:///nina_school/set?id=76113126

patricia's school outfit: http:///patricias_school/set?id=76111454

joy's school outfit: http:///joy_school/set?id=76112588

amber's school outfit: http:///amber_school/set?id=76111987

mara's school outfit: http:///mara_school/set?id=76113715

patricia's song: http:///patricias_song/set?id=76118541

nina's song: http:///ninas_song/set?id=76117835

amber's 2nd day: http:///amber_school/set?id=76260112

joy's 2nd day: http:///joy_school/set?id=76259774

mara's 2nd day: http:///mara_school/set?id=76259916

nina's 2nd day: http:///nina_school/set?id=76259541

patricia's 2nd day: http:///patricia_school/set?id=76191246

amber talent show: http:///amber_talent_show/set?id=78664401

joy talent show: http:///joy_talent_show/set?id=78664442

mara talent show: http:///mara_talent_show/set?id=78664468

nina talent show: http:///nina_talent_show/set?id=78664420

patricia talent show: http:///patricia_talent_show/set?id=78664375

NR(nina) talent show: http:///nina_talent_show/set?id=79057284

PJ(patricia) talent show: http:///patricia_talent_show/set?id=79057040

patricia's 3rd school day: http:///patricia_school/set?id=76285623

nina's 3rd school day: http:///nina_school/set?id=76290445

amber's 3rd school day: http:///amber_school/set?id=76290012

mara's 3rd school day: http:///mara_school/set?id=76292455

joy's 3rd school day: http:///joy_school/set?id=76292995

house of demigods:

patricia to america: http:///patricia_to_america/set?id=79344743

nina to america: http:///nina_to_america/set?id=79344979

mara to america: http:///mara_to_america/set?id=79344854

amber to america: http:///amber_to_america/set?id=79344802

annabeth to america: http:///annabeth_to_america/set?id=79345042

patricia claimed: http:///patricia_claimed/set?id=79345632

nina claimed: http:///nina_claimed/set?id=79345373

mara claimed: http:///mara_claimed/set?id=79345419

amber claimed: http:///amber_claimed/set?id=79345501

patricia's 1st day: http:///patricia/set?id=79799748

nina's 1st day: http:///nina/set?id=79799848

mara's 1st day: http:///mara/set?id=79799712

amber's 1st day: http:///amber/set?id=79799806

annabeth's 1st day: http:///annabeth/set?id=79799609

thalia'a 1st day: http:///thalia/set?id=79799661

ariana's 1st day: http:///ariana/set?id=79894554

alex's 1st day: http:///alex/set?id=79894510

piper's 1st day: http:///piper/set?id=79894578