If you are here, you probably:

A.) Have no life

B.) Had nothing else to do

C.) Read one of my stories and wondered, "Who the hell writes this crap?"

Hello, there! I'm Soulfully Sadistic. And despite the name, no, I am not sadistic. Well, at least, not until I witness a horrid and gruesome tragedy and suddenly, fueled by impassioned rage, let loose a howl of fury and turn Super Saiyan 100--oh, you meant real life? Uhm. No. No I don't think so. Some of my favorite things to do are curl up on a rainy day with my computer and read a good fanfiction, listening to Debussy's Fantasy (for orchestra and piano) with lots of taffy by my side. I really am one for peaceful moments. But I also like hugs. I like them very much. Also I like adorable things. If you are adorable, and within a fifty-foot radius of me, don't act all surprised when I'm all up in yo grill, squealing and hugging you like the kawaii desu neigh mothafucka you are.

Name: Akosua

Age: 14

Sex: Not yet

Your Gender, Dumbass: Oops. Female.

Likes: Spaghetti, Cooking (I'm old-fashioned), taking care of children, proper grammar, sleeping, reading, writing, drawing, letting my creepy side show, that frustration you get when the piece you're playing doesn't sound right, and the satisfaction you get when it does, improvising

Dislikes: When I let those damn curses fly from my mouth, that little speck on the wall that you never noticed before but now you can't UN-notice it because you noticed it and URRRGH

Talents: Playing piano, cooking, drawing, writing

Fails at: Math, singing, talking to cashiers, being in public

STRONGLY dislikes: Those damn underaged weaboo fangirls with incredibly overpowered Mary Sues (over 90 percent of this place) and believe that the Litmus Test is one-hundred-percent accurate

REVIEWING:

I try to be a nice person. Really I do.

But if your story has a complete and blatant disregard for all aspects of good writing, and you don't even TRY to make it better, it's not exactly going to be all rainbows and ponies for you. I like reviewing stories with the potential to become better, however, if your story is broken beyond all repair, I probably won't hesitate to say it, and bluntly. Also, this "Don't like, don't read" thing going on is absolutely ridiculous. Even though I wish I did, I do not and never will have the ability to see into the future to find out if your story is good or not. YOU posted it on a completely public and free site, therefore YOU WILL be subject to reviews, good or otherwise.

But, I mean, if I do like your story (which is way more often than not), expect a barrage of praises. Not even kidding.

If you have a bone to pick with me about a "mean" review I've given you in the past, PM ME. Don't post your angry feelings in a review on one of my stories. It's immature and you're making something public that shouldn't even be that big of a problem in the first place. Don't subject my readers to that sort of thing. If you want to talk to me, you talk to me and me alone. If you really feel that badly about me you should be able to take it up with me, not prospective readers. Don't be a coward.

UPDATING:

My updates are completely erratic and totally random. Unfortunately, I do not have very much time to write and update at this time because of school (and also probably the fact that I'm shit at managing time...nah, it's school. You know, people sometimes say I have trouble admitting my faults. I have no idea what they're talking about). However, if you ask nicely, I will give you a sneak peek into the next chapter, though it's only once for each chapter. Also, I am very, very open and welcoming to OC's and constructive criticism.

WRITING:

Ah, writing. I have been writing (and illustrating) ever since I could get my hands on the ever-abundant printer paper and trusty No. 2 pencil. I love it deeply. I think my writing style could best be described as calm and kind of laid-back. I'm not really one for BAM BAM BOOM POW AND THEN THIS HAPPENED. I try to take the time to describe thoughts, surroundings, feelings. However, I am very open to trying out new and different writing styles. I don't want to stay with just one forever!

OC's:

Heeere we go.

Okay.

I am BIG on characterization. Very, very big on it. I like to take my time with characters, try to show you about them, not tell you about them. I like to make them human; give them characteristics and flaws that make them just that much more 3D. I'm a huge fan of Bildungsroman characters, characters that grow and mature and learn throughout the story, from their own mistakes or others. I like originality; I like putting your characters through absolute hell to put your readers through absolute heaven. I am all for it. But I'm not really big on powers and abilities and such, unless they are done tastefully and artfully. Other than that, I actually try to shy away from OC's as much as possible.

If you've made it this far, thanks (and I take no responsibility for bleeding eyes)! Happy writing!

The Christian's Creed

There's an uber cool 15th century statement of faith that I like to call the Christian's Creed, although it has more than one name. It actually transcends various denominational differences and highlights core truths of faith that ALL Christians believe, regardless of their denominations. It's really cool. The Creed has stood the test of time. It's easy to memorize and is used in churches worldwide. This Creed unites Christians; it helps us remember what Christians around the world believe and agree on. If you are a Christian and you whole-heartedly believe this statement fo faith, feel free to copy and post it on your own profile if you'd like.

I believe in God, the Father almighty,

Creator of heaven and earth

I believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord,

Who was conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit

Born of the Virgin Mary,

Suffered under Pontius Pilate,

Was crucified, died, and was buried;

He decended into the dead.

On the third day He rose again,

He ascended into heaven,

Is seated at the right hand of the Father.

And will come again to judge the living and the dead.

I believe in the Holy Spirit,

The holy universal Church,

The communion of saints,

The forgiveness of sins,

The resurrection of the body,

And the life everlasting. Amen.

bap