1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your
computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize
your wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necassary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure
I know how to get out of my own neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person
died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when
you know that you just arent' going to do anything productive for the rest of
the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't
want to have to restart my collection...again.

13 I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of word and it asks me if
I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swer I didn't
make any changes to.

14. 'Do not machine wash or tumble dry' means I will never wash this-ever.

15. I hate it when I just miss a call by the last ring, but when I immediately
call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice-mail. What did you do after I
didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing
anyone of importance the entire day. What a wast.

17.I keep some peoples phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer
when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given friday or Saturday
night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

21. Sometimes I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and
suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first
saw it.

22. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand
than to take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish
a text.

24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and
smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

26. I love the sense of comaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to
prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front.

27. Shirts get dirty, underwear gets dirty, pants? Pants never get
can wear them forever.

28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?

29. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are
going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers,
but no matter what the mode of transportation, I will always hate
bycyclists.

31. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still
not know what time it is.

32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their
car keys in a pocket, finding their cel phone, and pinning the tail on
the donkey, but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the snooze button
from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

AMAZING MEDICAL FACTS~

1) Nobody can open their mouth all the way and stick their tongue
out past their lips.

2) 90% of you reading this just tried that.

3) 100% just learned it was false.

5) A simple majority of those people (i.e. 51%) laughed.

6) Most of those eople didn't notice that we skipped number 4.

6) Most of the just went back and checked.

7) Most of the missed that we also skipped number 2.

8) Got you again.

9) But did you catch us repeating 6?

10) You didn't want to look, did you?

People were created to be loved.
Things were created to be used.
The reason why the would is in chaos,
Is because things are being loved
and people are being used.

You're not drun until you have to grab onto the grass to keep from falling off
the earth.

YOU KNOW YOUR FROM THE NINTIES

Waistcoats on girls
You went to or dreamed about going to a smash hits concert
You know the Macarena by heart.
Gak was the coolest thing invented.
You remember playing on merry go rounds...at the play ground.
You remember when Mortal Kombat Was "Da Bomb"!
You went away and returned with a hair braid
Trapper Keeper.
Swatch Pop watches, your friend could show you the time from at least 20 feet away
You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS.
You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.
2 words ... SPICE GIRLS...
You never got injured on a Slip 'n' Slide
You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record "Your FAVORITE song of ALL time"
You used to wear those stick on earings, not only on your ears, but at the corners of your eyes.
You remember when razor scooters were cool.
You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch.
You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!
You remember when the new Beanie Babies and talking Elmo were always sold out.
You had a favorite New Kid on the block, and you knew all of there names
You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos... but never taped anything funny.
10p crisps! e.g. Meanies, Wheelies
You had a Tamagotchi or a Furby.
You watched the original Care Bears, My Little Pony, and Ninja Turtles
You owned a portable tape player.
You also remember when MC Hammer was cool - and you even wore "hammer pants."
You thought Brain woud finally take over the world
You owned a Mood ring
Impulse body spray
You used to end sentences in "NOT" or "PSYCH!"
You wore plastic dummies around your neck, the bigger and more luminous the better
You thought it would be so cool to be Alex Mack.
You owned a compilation tape with top tunes such as "Mr.Vain", "What is love" and "Rhythm is a dancer"
You've worn leggings and felt stylish.
You knew Mark Wahlberg when he was still Marky Mark.
You remember the very first "Real World" on MTV.
Watching cartoons on a Saturday
There was a time when you really wished you lived in Beverly Hills 90210.
You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates
I'LL BE BACK!
You went into the Body shop to put on vanilla or white musk perfume
I've fallen and I can't get up
You had a strong opinion in the whole Tanya Harding versus Nancy Kerrigan thing.
Bum Bags, or Fanny Pax whatever you called them.
You remember TGIF on ABC. Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World.
Captain planet, James Bond junior and Sharkie and George crime busters of the sea!
You can sing the rap to "The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air".
You remember when super nintendo's and Sega Genisis became popular.
You couldn't listen to Salt 'n' Pepa around your parents
when they made the new lunchables so that you could make tacos and pizza!!
You remember life before alco-pops
You use to love playing with your MY Little Pet Shop.
Windows 95 was the best.
You learned how to roller blade - not roller skate.
You used to watch DuckTales or Power Rangers after school.
You went to McD's to play in the playplace.
Where in the world is Carmen San Diego? was both a game and a TV game show.
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence...Not...
You had a favorite Spice Girl.
Fruit salads and Black jacks
You got a tattoo or piercing that you regret.
You had at least one GigaPet or Nano and brought it everywhere.
You owned something with a peace sign or happy face.
You owned (and wore) a few flannel shirts.
You remember when everyone went slinky crazy.
Talk to the hand ... enough said
You used to pretend to be a MIGHTY MORPHIN Power Ranger.
You owned a pair of Nike Air Max.
You were made to wear a pair of leggings with the straps on the bottom. ie: stir-ups
U remember eating Warheads.(those sour candys)
You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green Ranger were meant to be together.
You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!"
You remember watching the 1st Batman, Aladin, Ninja Turtles, and 3 Ninjas movies.
You remember watching home alone 1, 2 , and 3...and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
he jumped so high high high he touched the sky sky sky and he didnt come back back back til the forth of july ly ly he jumped so low ow ow he stubbed his toe toe toe and thats the end end end of the elephants show show show
If you even know what an original walkman is.
Making those little paper fortune cookie things.. and then predicting your life with them.
You remember when Kurt Cobain, Tu Pac, River Phoenix, and Selena died.
Growing Pains.
You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey from "Blossom" and that "How Rude!" comes from Stephanie from "Full House"
You collected Beanie Babies.
You or a girl you knew had the "Rachel" haircut.
You owned a Benneton/NafNaf jumper
You owned a pair of overalls, and not because you were from the country.
Furbies.
Levi 501's
You longed to live in Beverly Hills 90210
You remember drinking Crystal Pepsi.
You did the Macarena.
You remember when sweet valley high was a book
You remember when Yomega Yo-Yos were cool.
Ear cuffs/Muffs
You collected all the Troll dolls
You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell".
Michael Jordan was a king.
When playing power rangers with friends you fought over who got to be who...and still all ended up being Tommy.
Carebears and The Gummy Bear show.
Black velvet chokers with a little pendant hanging from them
You once used Wella Plum mousse or Sun-in in your hair that you thought it was totally original and highly stylish.
You played and or collected "Pogs".
Miss Mary Mack, Mack, Mack, all dressed in black, black, black, with silver buttons, buttons, buttons, all down her back, back, back SHE ASKED HER MOTHER MOTHER MOTHER FOR FIFTY CENTS CENTS CENTS TO SEE THE ELEPHANTS PHANTS PHANTS JUMP OVER THE FENCE THE FENCE THE FENCE
Count Duckula and Trap-Door
You wanted to be a supermodel - or seriously lusted after one.
Black velvet hair bands with a puffy bit on top
Writing M.A.S.H. notes. (and the twenty different versions of that)
U remember drinkin' Fruitopia and Surge.
You remember boom boxes vs. cd players
You remember the craze, then the banning of slap bracelets and slam books.
You collected tazos.
if you memeber when every thing was "da BOMB"
You had a Tickle Me Elmo doll.
You wore socks over leggings scrunched down
You watched the OJ Simpson Bronco chase live on TV.
AAAAAAAH real monsters.
Who framed Roger Rabbit?
U remember Ring Pops.
You collected pokemon cards.
Puffa jackets
Yikes pencils and erasers were the stuff!
You remember those Where's Waldo books..
You watched Baywatch and longed for the day that Eddie and Shauna got together.
You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain , and Two Stupid Dogs.
You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
You remember reading "Goosebumps"
Twin Peaks totally, completely creeped you out.
All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.(pencils.notebooks.binders.etc.)
Lambchop's song never ended.
Shell Suits and Bum Bags
You yearned to be part of the Baby-Sitters club.
You owned scrunchies in array of colors