--Hi this account is like a decade old and I haven't used it in over seven years. (Everything on this profile other than this intro is from 2013) I wrote this stuff between the ages of 11 and 13 and I'm now a junior in college studying computer engineering and sociology. Keeping the account because nostalgia but I will not be using it again. --

What's up, world?

Anyway, I'm The Lone Clapper. Also known as The Clapper, TLC, or "that weird girl over there" (by most people who see or talk to me).

But you knew that, right? Why else would you be on my profile...?

Maybe you thought my pen name was awesome. Or you read and liked one of my stories. Or you found me as a beta. Or I reviewed one of your stories, so you want to return the favor. *wink wink*

If you're on my profile because you're in search of copy&pastes and whatnot, scroll down to the bottom. That is where I keep all the useless stuff that I found funny/awesome/true that I could not help putting on my profile. :D But if you want to learn about MOI, well, keep reading. That starts...

Right...

about...

here.

l
l
V

NEWS:

Just updated Stellatite! If you've read Ranger's Apprentice, please check it out! It's pretty short and I'm working on a new summary . . .

Also . . . DOCTOR WHO. Enough said. XD

OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS I JUST READ DIVERGENT AND IT IS TOTALLY AMAZING!!!! MAYBE LIKE THE BEST BOOK EVER! No seriously, You gotta read it. I will . . . make you . . . somehow . . .

I started working on a Hunger Games fic! I'm super excited. Not sure when I'll be done though. :)

I really want to write a Percy Jackson fanfic but can't come up with any good ideas! HELP ME!!!

MY FAVORITE-EST BOOKS EVER (in no particular order):

Divergent (XD)

Harry Potter

Percy Jackson and the Olympians

Ranger's Apprentice

Inheritance Cycle

The Hunger Games Trilogy - I actually hated Mockingjay but the first two were amazing. The ending is too sad. :/ If you disagree, or do agree, PM me. I love debating and talking about books! ;D

The Unwanteds

I know it's sad. I've obviously read other books, but those are the only absolute favorites I could come up with. :) PLEASE recommend some for me!

And... uh... I play the piano (sorta)... and french horn (just started over the summer!) and read... I don't really have many hobbies. Just creative stuff, you know? Art, writing, reading, FanFiction-ing... etc.

I am in the annoying predicament of being the only [insert my age here] girl in my neighborhood, so, naturally, I am a bibliomaniac! (You'd better not need to look that up.)

Stuff You Would Probably Like to Know About Me:

Appearance: Huh. Well, I have thick, blonde hair (really annoying at times) that's a pretty boring average armpit length. It used to reach down to the bottom of my rib cage, but then I donated it. I have blue eyes that, after reading RA and PJO seem gray to me merely because I wish they were. I'm pretty tall for my age, but I wish I was short. I feel weird looking down at people like I'm more important than them. :/ I have fairer skin than most people, but it's not quite as pale as Snow White or a vampire or something. The only jewelry I usually wear is a pair of earrings--rarely dangley (which should totally be a word)--this purity ring I have, and like hairbands on my wrist. :) I HATE skirts/dresses, and normally wear jeans, shorts, or yoga pants (most comfortable thing EVER.)

Age: Teenager! Officially. ;)

Hobbies: Writing. Reading. Art. Random experimenting. I believe we already went over this.

Favorite color: Right now? Either lime green or dark blue. But I also really like turquoise, purple, and orange.

Favorite food: Anything with chocolate. I like other stuff too . . . depends on my mood.

Favorite book: Don't have one. :) Too many to chose from.

Favorite song: Also don't have one. I really like songs in 3/4 though . . . (it's scary how obsessed I am) and songs with syncopation (not playing on the downbeat for you amateurs.)

I don't know what else to add. :) Hehe.

FanFiction-related stuff about me:

My writing:

I personally think I'm a pretty good author . . . at least for my age. I'm towards the younger end of people that use this site. I really love getting advice and constructive criticism though. Like a lot.

All my writing is totally appropriate. I don't swear (like ever!) and there's no slash, lemons, etc. If anything I write is T, it's probably for violence (don't judge me!) or dark/sad thoughts and stuff like that. Or just 'cause I wouldn't feel comfortable with someone under thirteen reading it.

What I read:

Well, uh, stories. Duh. It all depends on my mood. :) I will not read M, and if something is incorrectly rated or slash or something I'll stop reading it. Period.

If you've written something you want me to read, just PM me or tell me in a review!

Reviews:

I LOVE REVIEWS!

Because I love getting reviews for my OWN stories, I do my best to review OTHER PEOPLE'S stories. So, if I reviewed one of your stories, PLEASE return the favor. :)

I also LOVE constructive criticism. Even more than compliments. I want to improve my writing in as many ways as possible. SO... If you like my story, tell me WHY, and if you don't like my story, tell me WHY. It's simple enough.

Betas:

I am a betareader! Yaysies!!! Check out my beta profile for more info.

As for having people beta your stories, I think it's a good idea, although I prefer to just proofread my own stories. I'm not exactlly sure why... Maybe so I can get all the credit. :P

Communities:

Um... if you haven't noticed, the real SoN is out. So the whole point of my community "The Son of Neptune" has disappeared.

Have I deleted it yet? I honestly don't even remember . . . If I haven't, I plan to soon.

Forums:

I don't have any forums of my own yet, but I probably will eventually. Just not at the moment. Obviously. :)

I participate most frequently in TWANGOES, a forum dedicated to "The Wacky And Nutty Girls Of Extreme Silliness", which is actually a club. :) For people like ME. If you want to join, PM me or Phinneas McCheeser (she's the forum manager). :) We also have a website, but, quite frankly, I don't remember what it is. :D I know Phinnneas has it somewhere on her account or in the forum, so you can find it there.

Authors I Know LIKE, IN REAL LIFE:

Phinneas McCheeser - She is awesome. Pure awesome. If you even slightly like my stories, you will MOST CERTAINLY love hers!!!

TheHalf-BloodPrincessCAPA - She only has one story up. :( And I actually haven't read it because it's T... but that doesn't mean YOU shouldn't!

crazy book addict - I AM SUPER MAD AT HER BECAUSE SHE HAS NO STORIES ON FFN AT ALL! EVEN THOUGH SHE'S AN AWESOME WRITER!

Artemis Winds - DOES she have any stories up yet? You could check . . . If she doesn't I shall go pester her . . .

Zeus DieKraft - EPIC . . . she's reading over my shoulder so I can't say anything bad. :P

And that's really all I could think of that's ffn related... If there's anything you think I should put here, let me know! (I would say PM me, but I've been overusing that phrase. ; ))

Notes on my stories:

Forward March (RA):

As a Ward, Mikayla had never been quite 'normal'. Now, when she becomes the first female Ranger's apprentice, she's sure she'll never fit in. Little does she know, Araluen needs her to help defeat a forgotten villain from taking over the entire kingdom.

Okay, so I started this when I was eleven . . . Kinda tired of the girl Ranger thing myself, but I'm gonna finish it. No matter how long it takes. (Sorry about that by the way!) I like the general idea of this, (minus the female Ranger) but uh I dunno. I have some pretty cool ideas, I just don't know where I'm going from there.

Her Worst Nightmare (HP):

A RonxHermione fanfic. Need I say more? Has spoilers for books 1-5, and has bundles and bundles of fluff (but not SO much it's stupid). Hopefully not OOC. Plz R&R!

I revised this one awhile ago for what I thought was the last time. However, I think that, despite my efforts, it's sorta OOC and sappy and... yeah. So when I have time, I'll rewrite it. ;)

The Son of Neptune (PJO (and kinda HoO)):

As the title states quite clearly, this is my version of The Son of Neptune. I know it's been done hundreds of times... But here's just one more. :D Plz R&R!

This isn't my best, but it's still turning out pretty good. I just started Chapter Four, but it's taking longer to write than I thought.

Discontinued for obvious reasons. (The real SoN is out!!)

Stellatite (RA):

[insert summary here . . . I'm too lazy at the moment]

I really like this one so far. It's . . . I dunno. It just is. :D

Quotes From My Everyday Life

"Why does this book have so many words in it? ...oh." -one of my BFFs

"Look, it's a pen!!!" -same BFF as before

[rapping a song learned at Sunday school while flipping through the Bible] "Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Acts, Romans, first and second Corinthians, Galatians YEAH!, Ephesians YEAH, Philippians YEAH, Collosians." -my lil' sis :)

"You should survive high school; my brother did, and he's a lot stupider than you." - Zeus DieKraft (sure hope her brother doesn't read this)

"Ooh, your autobiography? What's it about?" -...me...

"I should probably eat that pie. . . so it doesn't get stale . . ." -my dad

Random Stuff I Just HAD to Put on Here:

If you love God and YOU'RE NOT ASHAMED OF HIM, repost this and see what he does for you tonight.

Dear Friend,

I just had to write to tell you how much I love you and care for you. Yesterday, I
saw you walking and laughing with your friends; I hoped that soon you'd want
Me to walk along with you, too. So, I painted you a sunset to close your day and
whispered a cool breeze to refresh you. I waited; you never called. I just kept on
loving you.

As I watched you fall asleep last night, I wanted so much to touch you. I spilled
moonlight onto your face trickling down your cheeks as so many tears have.
You didn't even think of me; I wanted so much to comfort you.

The next day I exploded a brilliant sunrise into a glorious morning for you. But
you woke up late and rushed off to work-you didn't even notice. My sky became
cloudy and My tears were the rain.

I love you. Oh, if you'd only listen. I really love you. I try to say it in the quiet of
the green meadow and in the blue sky. The wind whispers My love throughout
the treetops and spills it into the vibrant colors of the flowers. I shout it to you in
the thunder of the great waterfalls and composed love songs for birds to sing for
you. I warm you with the clothing of My sunshineand perfume the air with
nature's sweet scent. My love for you is deeper than the ocean and greater than
any need in your heart. If you'd only realize how I care. I died just for you.

My Dad sends His love. I want you to meet Him. He cares,too. Fathers are just
that way. So please call Me soon. No matter how long it takes, I'll wait because I
love you.

Your Friend,

Jesus

(rah) (ah) ([roma (1ma)] (ga) (ooh)(la) = bad romance. Copy & Paste it if you get it :)

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that, paste this to your profile

No guy is worth your tears & the ones who are won’t make you cry.

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 81, and find line 4.

Harry Potter Page to Screen: "I could see them as a couple" (This is next to me 'cause it's so huge and I'm using it to press flowers! ;))

2.Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, What can you touch?

A notebook.

3.What is the last time you watched on TV?

Late last night, I was watching the Olympics.

4.Without looking, guess what time it is:

2:30 pm

look at the clock. What is the actual time?

2:22 pm (enjoy the moment! ;))

6.With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

The clock, the AC, and my brother and his friends having a Nerf war or something in the basement.

7.When did you last step outside? What were you doing?

Well, this morning I opened the door, only to close it after I heard my brother's friends debating on how to say 'water' in Pig Latin.

8.Before you started this survey, what did you look at?

Someone else's profile, duh...

9.What are you wearing

Jean shorts and a T-shirt.

10.Did you dream last night?

If I did I don't remember.

11.When did you last laugh?

I dunno. I laugh a lot.

12.What is on the walls of the room you are in?

Paint. Pictures. Windows. Light switches. Some yellow paint my friend accidentally splattered on the wall when she was over.

13.Seen anything weird lately?

Define weird.

14. What do you think of this quiz?

Something to do when you're bored.

15. What is the last film you saw?

No idea. :) I don't keep track of these things.

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?

A new house for my family so I could have a room bigger than a closet.

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know:

I named my dog after Horace Altman. ...but now it's kinda weird when I read Ranger's Apprentice.

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?

Err I dunno...

19. Do you like to dance?

Sorta.

20. George Bush:

He's not even the president anymore. Seriously, people.

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?

Sienna. :)

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?

I dunno. ...Now that I think about it, why should I...? Is this a normal conversation topic? "If you had a kid what would you name it?" ...

x

Survey That is Really Very Fun to Fill Out When One is Extremely Bored:

Coke or Pepsi?

Pepsi :) I dunno why, but Coke tastes weird to me...

Salt or Pepper?

Salt, I guess. I don't really use pepper.

PB or J?

Peanut butter... I think. Man, these are tough questions.

Milk or Cookies?

Cookies. Duh. *rolls eyes* Forget what I said about the tough questions.

Sun or Moon?

I like the sun, but I think the moon suits me better. It's always there, but not visible unless you look for it. And the darkest times (haha see what I did there? ;)) it still shines brightly and doesn't change.

Wooow that was surprisingly philosophical. OOH A BUTTERFLY!

Spoon or Fork?

Fork. DON'T ASK.

Mani or Pedi?

Umm manicure. Pedicures tickle. *grins sheepishly*

Shampoo or Conditioner?

Huh. That's totally normal. Shampoo. Keeps my hair clean.

Heads or Tails?

Heads. Without them, we wouldn't be able to see or hear or breathe or eat. And we already don't have tails. ;)

Nut or Bolt?

...what? Um, bolt, I guess.

Thunder or Lightning?

Lightning. It's pretty.

Black or White?

White. It's happy and pure.

Sea or Sky?

Sky. I wish I could fly. *sighs*

Hip or Hop?

Uh hop? I think? Yeah, like bunnies.

STUFF YOU PROBABLY DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT ME (AND DON'T CARE ABOUT):

What color is your toothbrush?

Blue . . . and clear. (Aw yeah, I got a new one!)

Name one person who made you smile today:

Me, when I finally got my contacts in.

What were you doing at 8 am this morning?

Getting changed for Phys Ed . . . that's right first period . . .

What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

Hmm methinks I was PMing somebody.

What is your favorite candy bar?

100 Grand. :D Or maybe Snickers. Or Milky Way. Or just plain Hershey's. ...as long as it has chocolate... :P

What is the last thing you said aloud?

Urgh I forget. Which is sad 'cause I was just talking to my dad like two minutes ago.

What is your favorite ice cream flavor?

Oh gosh how am I supposed to know?! It changes. A lot. I generally like stuff with chocolate.

What was the last thing you had to drink?

Milk, from my cereal.

What was the last thing you ate?

Cereal. If you couldn't figure it out from my last answer.

Have you bought any new clothing items this week?

No... I don't think...

The last sporting event you watched?

Little parts of a baseball game; not all of it.

Look to your left, what do you see?

A lamp. Oh yeah.

What do you think of when you hear Australia?

Kangaroos.

What's your favorite/lucky number?

Six.

How many states have you lived in?

Just the one I am currently living in. Heck, I've lived in the same house my whole life!

Do you like cats?

Yeah, I guess, but not the mean ones. *humph* I like dogs better.

Just because she once liked Percy doesn't make her the worst girl in the series! If you think people should stop hating on Rachel Dare, copy and paste.

You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

ONLY IN AMERICA... ...can a pizza get delivered to your house sooner than an ambulance can ...are there handicapped parking spaces in front of a skating rink ...do drugstores make sick people walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while the healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front ...do people order a double cheeseburger, large fries, and a diet coke ...do banks leave both doors open, but chain the pens to the counter ...do we leave expensive cars in the driveway, and worthless stuff in the garage ...do we buy hot dogs in packages of 10, and buns in packages of 8 ...do we use the word 'politics' so freely: Latin: 'poli' meaning many, and 'ticks' meaning blood sucking leaches ...do they have drive up ATM's with Braille lettering.

I am that girl, the one who likes books more than boys. The one who pretends not to be sad, just to make others happy. The one who always wonders what she did wrong. The one who writes to escape. The one who just wants to help. The one that really wants to make a difference. The one that sticks to her values. The one that refuses to believe that this is it. The one that will do anything to make a better tomorrow.

I am that girl... That doesn't go to school dances, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book (or just make fun of how stupid dating in middle school is). I am the girl that is nice to everyone and anyone. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone because that is a waste of time. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year - or ever.

But I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do anymore. I am the girl who loves and is obsessed with what she loves and is obsessed with, who can express herself better with words than anything else, and knows the importance of the little things. I am the girl that stops to smell the flowers and laugh in the rain. I am the girl that can find refuge in the castle of safety found in God's word. I am the girl that can pour her heart and soul into her poetry, the girl that can capture an entire moment in words alone. I am the girl who can look past what people wear, how they talk, what disabilities they have, and what their grades are to find who they are. I am the girl who will love and laugh with her friends, and stand with them in the rain until the very end. I am the girl who can somehow always find the will to live, to love, to laugh, to believe.

Copy and Paste this onto your account if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone.

Growing old is mandatory . . . growing UP is optional . . .

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear it up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!! If you TOTALLY agree, copy and paste.

I was blown away when I realized OK looked like a sideways person.

I was even more blown away when I realized QK looked like a sideways ninja!

A wise man once said, "Ask a girl."

Real girls aren't perfect, and perfect girls aren't real. (Love that)

Stairs
The
UP
Tripped
Ever
Have
You
If
Paste
And
Copy

WARNING: This is really long. But really cute. Almost made me cry.

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her afterall, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't

forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for

the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that

mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!''

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

"My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister

is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message.

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

Haikus are random

They never make any sense

Refrigerator

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

Justin Bieber falls off a building. 90% of the girls are crying. 9% are watching while eating popcorn. .99% of the girls are pushing Justin off the building. If you are in your room reading or writing, like I would be, because YOU DON'T CARE, copy and paste.

Greybeard Halt

"Greybeard Halt is a friend of mine.

He lives on Redmont's hill.

Greybeard Halt never took a bath.

And they say he never will.

Fare thee well, Greybeard Halt,

Fare thee well I say.

Fare thee well, Greybeard Halt,

I'll see you on your way."

Copy and paste 'Greybeard Halt' on your profile if you're an absolute Ranger's Apprentice fan!

So... yeah. This is my profile.

And, if any of you have read a really good book series, PM me! I'll check them out sometime! Unless it's Twilight, or anything innapropriate for someone under thirteen. You get the idea. :)

Quote of the Week:

"Would you please stop farting while I'm trying to save the world?"

- good ol' 9th Doctor :)