Feel free to email me or Gmail chat me. I'm readily available on Tuesdays after 5:30 and Fridays to Sundays.

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Check my other account, http://www.fanfiction.ws/u/2722009/Ulquiorra_isnt_emo Ulquiorra-isn't-emo, for some of my older and crappier stuff! It's all Maximum Ride though, so sorry about that.

My favorite manga of all time is 1/2 Prince. I love love love it. Next is probably Bleach. It has great potential for fanfictions, seeing as it has a huge cast of characters. I love Death Note too, but I refused to read anymore of it when L died. I feel that the manga died along with him. I love Naruto as well, despite having read only a couple hundred chapters. And I recently discovered Kuroshitsuji, which I read only for the sexy butler. *drool* Sebastian...

Anime Quiz: How many minds can you scar with these random questions? Remember: Your mind is already scarred, otherwise you wouldn't be doing this (duh), so no counting it! You wouldn't want to be a cheater, right? ... RIGHT?

First, randomly list and number 12 of your favorite characters and specify the manga/anime you're using. (no cheating! RANDOMLY list!!)

I'd like to do Death Note, but they have a teeny tiny cast of characters, so I'll use Bleach instead.

1) Kaien
2) Grimmjow
3) Shuuhei
4) Shunsui
5) Ichigo
6) Nel
7) Ulquiorra
8) Shirosaki (Albinos pwn)
9) Yoruichi
10) Kisuke
11) Kenpachi
12) Ukitake

1) Ever read a five fic?

To quote Gieco, would a drill sergeant make a bad psychiatrist?
Who hasn't?

2) Nine... hot?

If hot means totally kick-ass, then yes. If hot means ninja, hell yeah. If hot means hot... Not really. Ask Kisuke.

3) What would happen if eleven caught four kissing eight?

If Kenpachi caught Shuuhei kissing Shirosaki, he would just be like, "WHERE THE HELL'S KUROSAKI? I WANNA BEAT THE STUFFING OUTTA HIM!" Insert sadistic insane smile. Shirosaki would be making out with Shuuhei and trying to seduce him, but Shuuhei's too drunk to realize what's happening.

4) Six/seven, good couple?

Not a chance. Nel would have poor Ulquiorra smacking his head against the wall within an hour. Even the emo pansy wouldn't be able to put up with her.

5) Ever read any nine/three fluff?

If Yoruichi/Shuuhei existed, I wouldn't read it. That's just too much of a crack pairing.

6) What song would you use to write a songfic about twelve?

Definitely something pedophile-ish, 'cause Kisuke is totally pedo. Like the Candyman one. Not the one by Christina Aguilera. There's another, creepier one that makes me think of pedophiles.

7) What kind of plot would a fic where two got with ten have?

Definitely angst. Grimmjow would admit his deep love for Kisuke by pounding him into a bloody pulp. However, Kisuke tells Grimmjow he only likes little boys and that he's teaming up with Ukitake to get Hitsugaya. Unfortunately, Hitsugaya willingly gets with Ukitake, leaving Kisuke all alone. Grimmjow takes up the opportunity and asks Kisuke out, which he accepts only because he thought Grimmjow was offering him tea. They live a long, sad life together.

8) What would happen if eleven got four pregant?

Poor Shuuhei. Kenpachi keeps messing with his live. Anyway, if Kenpachi screwed Shuuhei, Shuuhei would be pissed. And Kensei would beat the crap outta a manically laughing Kenpachi. Matsumoto would take Shuuhei out for drinks and convince him that alcohol is good for growing fetuses.

9) One is dating two but three is extremely jealous. Three eventually wins two over and breaks them up. Sad and lonely, one ends up having a short and unpleasant affair with nine before seeking advice from seven and finding love instead. Meanwhile, seven has been constantly feuding with eight until one of them gets seriously injured during one of their fights. Twelve, who is secretly in love with four, forbids them from ever seeing each other again, causing them to realize how much their friendship meant... Reactions?

Kaien is dating Grimmjow but Shuuhei is extremely jealous. Shuuhei eventually wins Grimmjow over and breaks them up. Sad and lonely, Kaien ends up having a short and unpleasant affair with Yoruichi before seeking advice from Ulquiorra and finding love instead. Meanwhile, Ulquiorra has been constantly feuding with Shirosaki until one of them gets seriously injured during one of their fights. Ukitake, who is secretly in love with Shunsui, forbids them from ever seeing each other again, causing them to realize how much their friendship meant.

Damn. Gotta freaking soap opera happening here. Okay, let's see. Kaien and Grimmjow are in a seme/uke relationship that involves lots of bondage and kinky stuff. Shuuhei is super envious, because he is totally in love with bondage and S&M. (Can you not see the choker *coughcollarcough* on his neck?) Shuuhei, after a series of failed assassination attempts, manages to break them up by telling Kaien that Kensei does better bondage than Grimmjow. Shuuhei and Grimmjow get together and enjoy lots of bondage and S&M while Kaien runs off to Kensei only to find that he is in a twisted relationship involving Lisa and a porno magazine. Kaien, depressed, gets stoned and has a one-night stand with Yoruichi, who insists they stay together and turns out to be an abusive partner. Kaien also discovers he is gay, having previously assumed he was bi. Kaien avoids women from then on, turning to Ulquiorra for help. They quickly fall in love during a peaceful rowboat session that you'll only find in Disney movies such as the Little Mermaid (La la la la la la la, kiss the girl...). Ulquiorra manages to set Yoruichi on Kisuke and she leaves Kaien alone. Meanwhile, Ulquiorra has been engaging furious battle of chess with Shirosaki. These battles involve chucking the chess piecing as hard as you can at the other person. Durin one battle, Ulquiorra accidentally impales Shirosaki in both eyes with a couple of knights. Shiro then has to go to the hospital, where they replace his eyes with these creepy Shinigami Eyes/Sharingan type things. Ukitake threatens to take away their chess sets, secretly wishing he can use them to somehow seduce Shunsui, with whom he has been in love with. Ulquiorra and Shirosaki promise to never fatally injure each other with chess pieces, and revert to checkers instead.

That got crackier and crackier as it went on...

10) One/six or one/seven?

Kaien and Nel or Kaien and Ulquiorra? Kaien and Ulquiorra all the way. Kaien would be like, goddamn, that is one sexy-ass emo chick right there! And Ulquiorra would be like, I ain't a girl, beotch! In his classic emotionless way. Then Kaien would grope Ulquiorra and say, Whatever. My place or yours?

11) Would eight look good in a bikini?

Goddamn. Shirosaki in a bikini? DAY-um. That is a good idea right there. I can see Ichigo drooling.

12) If seven could get three to answer any question truthfully, what question would be asked? (and the answer??!)

If Ulquiorra could get Shuuhei to answer any question... First of all, Ulquiorra would have to tie Shuuhei up and Shuuhei would love every minute of it. And Ulquiorra, in a completely uninventive way, would ask the question everyone's been dying to know the answer to: "Hey Shuuheu. Why do you have a 69 on your face?" (Shut the hell up, KenseixShuuhei fans. We all know there's some sexual innuendo there. Screw Kensei.) And Shuuhei would say, while crying because he's tied up, "Oh it hurts so good! 69 represents what I want to do with you, Ulquiorra!"

13) One/five/twelve? Yes? No?

Kaien/Ichigo/Ukitake? Yes. Most definitely. Ukitake could get Kaien and Ichigi to do all sorts of things for him. He could feed them candy and tell them stories about when he was a kid and how he was there when Jesus was born.

14) What would six's reaction be to finding out three had to model for an underwear ad? What would three's reaction be?

If Nel found out Shuuhei was am underwear model, she would be totally clueless. She would point at the buldge in his obviously skintight sexy briefs and ask, Shuuhei, what's that? Shuuhei would proudly look down and say, "That, little girl, is my di―" He'd interrupted by a furiously blushing Ichigo who tells Shuuhei not to tell Nel about things like that.

15) What kind of situation would have two kissing twelve?

There are two possible scenarios. 1) In classic manga style, Grimmjow trips over air and manages to fall halfway across the panel and land in Ukitake, initiating a steamy lip lock. 2) Ukitake gets Grimmjow high off candy, causing Grimmjow to glomp Ukitake and kisses him.

16) Would you (or your friends) ever write (read) a two/four/eight fic?

Grimmjow/Shunsui/Shirosaki. Maybe. I wouldn't mind reading one, and writing one would be hella fun. I guarantee with Grimmjow and Shiro in the same fic it's gonna be at least M. (The ratings should go higher than that. Like, FG for only the most extreme fangirls.)

17) What kind of pick up line would five use on eight?

Ichigo, madly blushing, would be like, "Hey Shiro, I-I'm an astronaut, looking f-for adventure, can I- can I explore y-your anus?" And Shiro would be like, "You think you're seme? Here's a better pickup line: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

18) If seven spilled eleven's biggest secret, eleven would...

Kenpachi would beat Ulquiorra into the ground for revealing that he likes to play with Barbies with Yachiru.

19) Title a eight/eleven hurt/comfort fic?

Shirosaki/Kenpachi: Violence is the Answer

20) If three fought twleve, who would win?

If Shuuhei fought Kenpachi, I think it would be a tie. Kenpachi would be like, You're too weak, lemme get drunk first as a handicap. And Shuuhei would say, Wait, I wanna get drunk too! So they'd both get piss-ass drunk and pass out in the street.

21) On a plausibility scale of one to ten (one being TOTALLY unplausible), where would you put a two/six fic?

Grimmjow/Nel? Maybe a five or six. I've seen a couple fics about them, but they'd make a better brother/sister to each than an actual couple.

22) If eight had to pick between one or five, who would be picked?

If Shirosaki had to pick between Kaien and Shunsui, he'd pick Kaien because he'd be like, Jesus Christ, you look like me!

23) Seven walks in on four dancing around and signing wearing Ouran High School Host Club cosplay. How does seven react?

Ulquiorra walks in on Shunsui dancing around and singing in Ouran High School cosplay. Ulquiorra would be totally unsurprised, just because he's Ulquiorra, and would assume Shunsui was drunk again. Then he would call Shunsui trash and go find Grimmjow so he could cry.

24) Seven most ressembles blank from this other manga/story/movie/tv show/etc.

I actually read a crackfic about this. Ulquiorra looks like L from Death Note. The both got the emotionless thing going down. Or maybe Sebastian from Kuroshitsuji. But Sebby is sexier.

25) Write a summary for a nine/two fic.

Must we continue to torture poor Grimm-kitty with neko fics? Yes, we must. Aizen decided to be spontaneously evil and turns Grimmjow into a kitty, booting him out of Las Noches and into the real world. Yoruichi finds him and takes him under her wing― err, paw.

26) What warning(s) would you put in a three/five/eleven fic?

Bondage, excessive swearing, excessive violence, MPREG. Kenpachi knocked up Shuuhei, remember? And they would both enjoying tying up little Ichi-chan.

27) One kissing twelve. Thought?

I can totally see it. Ukitake obviously has a thing for little boys, but Kaien is so sexy he can't resist. And Kaien likes older men, which why he hangs around Ukitake. It's a match made in heaven ― I mean Soul Society.

28) What song would best describe three/four?

Margaritaville by some dude whose name I can't it remember. It totally suits them. Although I think Shuuhei and Shunsui deserve better alcohol than margaritas.

29) How would six react if four said he/she was in love with him/her?

If Shunsui told Nel he was in love with her, Nel would be like, Your hakama has pwitty fwowers. :D

30) If nine or eleven read this, what would they say?

If Yoruichi read this, she'd probably get pissed at me for saying she likes bondage and go ninja on my ass. If Kenpachi read this, he grunt and say, yeah, whatever, as long as I'm the one f*king Shuuhei and not the other way around. I'm on top. Always. Then Kenpachi's reitsu flare would kill us all because I told him he's uke.

Favorite Pairings! (For most of these, it doesn't matter which is uke and which is seme to me.)

Bleach: Ichigo/Shirosaki, Ichigo/Grimmjow, Grimmjow/Ulquiorra, Grimmjow/Ulquiorra, Shuuhei/Ichigo, Shuuhei/Grimmjow

Naruto: Gaara/Sasuke, Gaara/Sakura, Naruto/Gaara

Kuroshitsuji: Just Sebastian/Ciel... I'm picky like that.

1/2 Prince: Prince/Gui, Wicked/Prince

Death Note: L/Light. Again, I will accept no other pairings. Except maybe L/BB.

People I'd Fuck

We all have a list like this somewhere, right? Right...? Anyway, here is the list of people I would like to sleep with.

1. Stephen Lynch
2. Orlando Bloom
3. Johnny Depp
4. The Mad Hatter
5. Jack Sparrow
6. Edward Scissorhands
7. Yoda, 'cause he is one sexy muthatrucker
8. Nicki Minaj
9. Voldemort
10. Taylor Lautner when he's a hot Native American
11. Raj from Big Bang Theory. He gets no love.
12. Lisa from the Simpsons
13. Michael Bays
14. Shakira
15. Stephanie Meyers, because she pisses me off
16. L and Light from Death Note, at the same time
17. Aladdin, another sexy futhermucker
18. Tom Brady
19. Robert Downey Jr.
20. Robert Pattinson
21. Spongebob Squarepants
23. Sebestian from Kuroshitsuji
24. Mr. Sebastian
25. Sebas-chan
26. Sebby
27. Sebastian-san
28. Sebastian
29. Sebastian
30. Sebastian
31. Lady Gaga
32. Ronald McDonald
33. Indiana Jones
34. Neil Patrick Harris
35. The old man from the Six Flags commercial
36. A pack of Skittles
37. Conan O'Brein
38. Pikachu
39. Shuuhei Hisagi from Bleach
40. Nightcrawler
41. Raven from Teen Titans
42. A Ferrari
43. Ralph Fiennes
44. Bellatrix
45. Jesse McCartney
46. Spiderman
47. Ichigo Kurosaki from Bleach
48. The Muffin Man
49. P!nk
50. Achmed the Dead Terrorist

Soundtrack to My Life (It's funny how true some of these are...)

Opening Credits: Born This Way ~ Lady Gaga

Average Day: One Hand in My Pocket ~ Alanis Morisette

Spending time with friends: Get This Party Started ~ P!nk

Driving: U + Ur Hand ~ P!nk

Bad day: Despicable Me ~ Pharrell Williams

Fight scene: We’re Not Gonna Take It ~ Twisted Sister

Mental breakdown: Who I Am Hates Who I’ve Been ~ Relient K

Life is okay: Don’t Stop Believing ~ Journey

Graduation: High School Never Ends ~ Bowling for Soup

Longing for love: Mr. Brightside ~ The Killers

First glance/new crush: Over and Over ~ Three Day’s Grace

Secret love: F*kin’ Perfect ~ P!nk

First date: Fearless ~ Taylor Swift

Falling in love: Just the Way You Are ~ Bruno Mars

Love scene: Love Story ~ Taylor Swift

Breaking up: Gives You Hell ~ The All-American Rejects OR Pray for You ~ Jaron and the Long Road to Love (Possibly the funniest song ever besides High School Never Ends)

Long night alone: Boulevard of Broken Dreams ~ Green Day

Wishing for love to return: Don’t Unplug Me ~ ALL CAPS

Fighting to get him/her back: You Belong With Me ~ Taylor Swift

Proposal: Check Yes Juliet ~ We The Kings

Wedding: Perfect Two ~ Auburn

Reflecting on life: If I Die Young ~ The Band Perry

Reflecting on love: Ain't No Other Man ~ Christina Aguilera

Death scene: You Haven’t Seen the Last of Me ~ Cher

Closing credits: We Are the Champions ~ Queen

Check out some of these ^ songs. Especially the ones who've never heard of. They're awesome.

Follow these easy steps to becoming an evil overlord!

1. Remove glasses.

2. Mess up hair.

3. Disappear into clouds, ranting about becoming evil overlord.

4. ???

5. Profit.

~Created and edited by Aizen

~Quotes~

"Karma's a bitch, ain't it?" ~ Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez in The Petulant Prodigy's "Tell Me Tomorrow"

"…and Light said, 'Let there be God.'" ~ Light Yagami in Maiden of the Moon's "Momento Mori"

"God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.” ~ Robin Williams

"Never judge a book by it's movie." ~ J. W. Eagan

"Never settle with words what you can accomplish with a flame-thrower." ~Bruce Fierstein

"I got 99 cookies 'cause a bitch ate one." ~ Will Ferrell

"If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one, because if you really loved the first one you wouldn’t have fallen for the second." ~ Johnny Depp

"Dear Parents,

Snow White lived alone with seven men. Jasmine had a forbidden relationship with a dirty homeless boy named Aladdin. Pinnochio was a liar. Robin Hood was a thief. Tarzan walked around without clothes on. A stranger kissed Sleeping Beauty and she married him. Cinderella lied and snuck out at night to attend a party. You can't blame us. We were tauht to rebel at a young age."

"I hate it when someone mentions the name of someone I no longer wish to remember."

"My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 this morning. Can you believe that?! 2:30 am! Luckily I was still up, playing my drums."

"The police are looking for someone described as funny, sexy, and great in bed. Your ugly ass is safe, but where should I hide?"

I am the Badass Uke! Take the quiz here -- http://.

Sensual, rebellious, and intuitive, the Badass Uke can truly be a work of contrasts - an innocent appearance clothed in dark clothing, and a shy smile with eyes that suggest a naughty, darker nature. They are at once easy and hard to approach, as their energy draws people to them, while their intensity and distrust pushes people away... for maybe more than any other personality, the Badass Uke hides away deep in a fantasy world of their own creation, letting few, if any, in. Searching for the one person able to understand their need for something more, someone to protect them and share that mysterious world with them, the Badass Uke can seem lost and wandering, their loneliness sometimes reflecting an inner anger - as they cannot be content until they have been found and claimed, sensually and emotionally.

Compatible with: Chibi Seme, Don't Fuck With Me Seme

~Rants~

I'm sure we all have something to rant about. Be it a pet peeve or just something that irritates you on a daily basis, we've all got something that annoys us. However, I'm more of a jerk, so I have lots of things. If you don't wanna read these, just scroll. And I congradulate you for bothering to read all the way down here. I feel appreciated. Spoiler alert for Death Note.

Rant 1: Death Note

I love Death Note, don't get me wrong. I love murder mysteries, I love smart guys, I love huge sexual innuendos (coughchaincough), I love evil main characters. I don't even mind the somewhat unrealistic intelligence of the main characters. But what's not okay? Killing off your damn main character. And before that, killing off your main antagonist. Honestly. You just don't do that. What kind of mangaka murders their main character? I can begin to appreciate the deaths I disagree with a little more now, after ranting about them God-knows-how-many times. I understand that Raito is a mass murder, therefore he must die. I get that. I probably wouldn't be satisfied with the ending if Light hadn't died. I'm hard to please. But could you at least have given me the satisfaction of seeing N die as well? That really irked me. And then L's death. L was the main antagonist. The bad guy, the enemy, the obstacle in the way of Light's goal. Whatever. Once again, he is an important character. You don't kill off the main antagonist until the end! That's the way it works! I appreciate the change of plot from typical manga, but it irritates me.

Rant 2: OC's

I. Hate. Original characters. You wanna write about an original character? Write your own story. You don't stick your character in with someone else's characters. That's why it's called a fanfiction. I believe OC's are way for an author to "live" out their fantasies. And frankly, I don't care about someone else's fantasies. I don't write about OC's, I don't read about OC's. My only OC's will be background characters that are necessary. I will never, ever, write about an OC as the main character.

Rant 3: Sasuke Uchiha

Sonuvabitch.

I'm sure I have more rants, but I'm too tired to think of more right now.