I GRADUATED! How awesome is that?! You know how hard it is to update your profile and read Homestuck at the same time? Yeah, that's what I thought.

So anyway, I've been procrastinating so much, this counts as a record even by my standards. I've been reacquainting myself with technology and its wonderful ways. It's been...oh I don't know, about 9 months since I've accessed the web (not counting all summer after graduating). Mom and Dad say I'm addicted. I just hate that their kind of right. Also, as of right now, Dad is getting his gallbladder removed. That's about as interesting as my summer's been. Other than my latest online exploits.

And what might they be, you ask? I discovered a world where I am in a moment swept in a rhapsody of euphoric joy, only to be thrust spontaneously into the heavy wash cycle of confusion and psychosis. A world of wonder and shenanigans. Something that has taught me what it really means to puke rainbows. In a word: Homestuck. And I'm not even close to caught up.

What else have my exploits in this vast system of connected tubes we call the Internet? Won't say, it may spoil an upcoming fanfiction I'm doing. Let's just say the word "psychosis" has a lot to do with it. Somehow, I feel as though all this information will be important to you later on.;)

Did you even read this?

Some of My Junk:

Forgive Us Our Trespasses:
FMA, First anime version. When Joshua, Raven and Julia cross the Gate, they walk right into unbelievable danger and chaos when Ju turns out to be dead. Now with Josh missing a leg, it seems things could hardly get worse, right? Wrong. There's a new homunculus around, with powers both remarkable and frightening - and she's out to find the person who created her. [Spoiler alert: it's Ju]. Can Ju's friends save their friend before she kills them? Do you really think I'll tell you? Little-to-no romance, some EnvyXLust mentioned, EnvyXOC, OCXOC, AlphonseXCat. XD
Genres: Action-Adventure, Funny, Drama, gorn-humor.

News: Envy killed me and now I can't update. The end.

Original Characters:

Joshua "Josh" Shay
Age:16
Sex: Male
Eyes: Brown-black
Hair: Black
Skin: Still too white to dance! XD
Species: Human
Power(s): Rock Alchemy!

Raven "Rae" Barnes
Age: 14 - 15
Sex: Female
Eyes: Amber-brown; wears thick glasses
Hair: Black with reddish undertone
Skin: no sunscreen=burn baby burn! (read: Irish)
Species: Human
Power(s): Paper Alchemy

Vengeance
Age: unknown; looks about 15
Sex: Female
Eyes: Chartreuse (yellow-green)
Hair: Deep brown; usually up in a loose bun
Skin: Meyerpire-white with a matte finish
Species: Homunculus
Power(s): Ultimate Heat

Julia "Ju" O'Neill (currently dead)
Age: 15 - 16
Sex: Female
Eyes: Hazel-brown
Hair: Auburn
Skin: White...usually pinkish/recovering from a sunburn
Species: Human
Power(s): Scrap-metal Alchemy

Toby
Age: Unknown; probably just a few months old
Sex: Male
Eyes: Copper
Fur: Black and White ("bi-color" or "tuxedo")
Species: Kitten
Powers: Looking absolutely adorable!

Oox.xoO

Fullmetal Eds
Fullmetal Alchemist manga/Brotherhood version, Ed Edd and Eddy crossover. Truth-kun opens the Gate in Peach Creek, and now the Eds are pissing off Edo and generally screwing things up. Along the way, they meet an Ishbalan girl named Calla, who holds more pain of loss than she lets on. Hopefully these morons will come out alive. It's funny, there you go. EddyXOC friendship, EddXEddy friendship, EdsXElrics, EddXA couple of girls in the canon. LOL!
Genres: Crack, Funny, Adventure, Angst undertones. Some fluff.

Original Character:

Calla
Age: between 8 and 10
Sex: Female
Eyes: Red
Hair: White
Skin: Ruddy brown
Species: Human [Ishbalan]
Power(s): She's pretty skilled with utensils (better than it sounds), master of sarcasm, poker face.

Oox.xoO

Alchemy of the Soul
FMA manga/Brotherhood-verse, Soul Eater anime!Verse (crossover). When the kishin's madness rips a hole in space, Edward Elric is thrown into Death City and a whole new chaos starts. Now he's enrolled at the DWMA, Shinigami-sama is friends with Truth-kun, and Stein has an automail fetish? Hopefully, Ed will learn to understand a new form of alchemy, and that the world isn't always scientific. Warnings: Some swearings, some pairings, and male!Chrona...or not. Also, EnvyXGiriko, EdXLiz, EdXMaka, MakaXChrona, and many more!
Genres: Adventure, Drama, Thriller, Suspense, Angst, Funny, Friendship.

O*ox.xo*O

Winter Blue and Spring Green
Soul Eater, my first poem fic, Maka- and Chrona-centric. Maka said she'd write a poem together with Chrona, but what happens when he takes her up on that offer? Here is a compilation of poems they wrote; where Maka's spring meets Crona's winter, and the warm soul meets the cold and dry one. Warning: some poems may cause you to crawl into Mr. Corner and wish you were never born.
Genres: Poetry, Friendship, Angst, Drama, (maybe) Fluff

Temporarily on Hiatus due to lack of poem inspiration. T_T Till then, stay in your emo corner and try not to grow too many mushrooms!

O*ox.xo*O

Xanatos
L fakes his death in order to catch Kira. He hoped his successors could work together, but unfortunately, they didn't. So he calls upon the next in line of succession; Matt. But when Linda gets in on the secret, things go in a whole new direction.
Genres: Suspense, Drama, Humor, Thriller, Adventure, Humor.
Characters: L, Mello, Near, Matt, Linda, Light, Rem, Ryuk, Sayu.

Original Character: Minori.

O*ox.xo*O

Pocky in Ramen
Wammy-centric backstory of how Mello came to be friends with Matt. Told from 7-year-old Mello's POV, where he recalls the way he got to know that little kid with red hair who always played his Gameboy, and how they eventually ended up getting along with each other. Fluffy, not yaoi, cute, and funny.
MattxMello friendship.

My one-shots:

Your Secret's Safe With Me
FMA manga!verse. Envy and Lust carry on a conversation over the blood-soaked remains of Liore, but when things turn romantic, somebody walks in on the two. Will he promise to keep a secret, or will Envy have to kill him? Original summary is better. My first romance, EnvyXLust.
Genres: Romance, Fluff(?), Humor

Manwich
FMA anime!verse. Crack-fic that goes with Trespasses. Envy, Ed and Vengeance are stuck in a basement together, with no way of getting out. As the temperature keeps dropping and they all start getting cold, will they get really desperate? You bet they will. Rated M because of invading personal space big time and a few potty mouths. And I'm a little paranoid.
Genres: Crack, Humor, Lime(?), Funny

The Simple Honest Truth
Soul Eater. Ragnarok can be a real jerk, but this time he's really crossed the line. Chrona's had enough. Now they talk it out one night when the little swordsman can't sleep. Attacking another student, cheating on a test, walking in on Blair...yeah, never mind that part. It's kind of a hurt/comfort fic, except the one 'hurting' has to do the 'comforting,' and Rag's not doing a very good job. This story needs more love, please give it a review!
Genres: Humor, Friendship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort(?), Angst.

Other:

All The World's A Stage: A Parody Of Errors
What happens when a fanfic writer with way too many Sharpies decides to mess with the works of William Shakespeare? Crack ensues! Eddy blasts Barney with a shotgun. Romeo and Juliet get married...and Fred Fred Burger's the minister. And William won't stop calling me a n00b! This and a lot of other stuff brings you the randomness of crack-tastic Shakespearean parody that will (hopefully) have you laughing so hard, you'll choke! Someone please give me a signed review!
Genres: CRACK!, Humor, Parody.

Mary Mary? Quite Contrary!
Advice fic, mostly FMA-based, but great for everyone. Some people think that original characters are always Mary Sues, but that's not always the case. OC's can still be made into great, interesting characters, even when you've seen this a million times (teen alchemist, eighth homunculus, Gate-crosser, etc.) How do you know when your character's a Sue? How can you fix one that is a Mary Sue? Find out here!
Genres: Advice, General
Part II:
Yeah, now it has a story. Christiana Sophia Maysalee Thomas knows she is a Mary Sue. Determined to fix the problem, she goes on a quest to become a well-written and likable character. Will she succeed? And with the help of America, Matt, and others from different animes, and her brother-turned chimera Jeff, will it be funny? Hell yes!

Coming Soon: A Crossover
Yeah, seriously. Prepare for some awesome adventures, character development, narration by smartasses, breaking the fourth wall, cuteness, drama, romance(!), action, recaps, cryptic prologue, irony, awkward moments, screwing destiny, death, chess, death-chess, and a Waste of Time. What'll it be, you may ask? There's no telling till it comes out.

QUOTES:

To insanity, and beyond!!

When life gives you lemons, don't read them!

Some people say I have a bad attitude. Screw them!

I'm so smart I'm damn-near retarded!

"Damn mice; now they come with tanks!" -a LOLcat, referring to a turtle.

This looks like a job for...Minor Character Man! -Tristan Taylor.

TV Tropes will ruin your life. I had no life before TV Tropes, and yet it still ruined it. BEYOND THE IMPOSSIBLE!

National Sarcasm Society: Like we need your support!

You can't shake hands with a closed fist. But you can fist-pump!

I will not be understood! UNDERSTAND?!?!?!?!

When you see a fork in the road, take it. -Yogi Bera

Dyslexics of the world, untie!

Screw the rules! I have money!

Screw the money! I have rules!...Wait, let me try that again.

I'll take a potato chip...AND EAT IT!

Just as planned.

IT'S A TRAP!

*insert witty/clever/funny internet meme here*

Team Matt: Sixteen panels, thirty seconds, forever in our hearts.

You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You jump off a bridge, I laugh so hard I will cry.

Holy *bleep* on a *bleep* sandwich with *bleep* on top and a side helping of *bleep*! -Tristan from YuGiOh Abridged

In Soviet Russia, you draw the earth, that's a circle!

Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.

The human whose name is written in this notebook shall die. Except Chuck Norris. If you right Chuck Norris's name in the Death Note, you have forty seconds before he kills you.

Finally, a non-Chuck Norris-related copypasta! Wait...

Team Chrona: Because if you rearrange the letters in the word "emo", you get "moe"

Repeat after me: I do believe in commas. I do, I do.

Maybe simple things are the key to the heart of a lady. You do not know because you do not know anything about ladies really. They are a riddle draped in a mystery wrapped in post-apocalyptic shroudwear. -Andrew Hussie, Homestuck

I have ADD. Easy as 1-2-3, A-B-C, D-E-F-G-H...Hydrogen, Helium, Lithium, Beryllium, Potassium, Sodium...salt, pepper...spaghetti -PASTA! Marukaite Chikyuu -oh wait, what was I saying?

I'm DIFFERENT so I MUST be weird.

You have to RESPECT THE N00BS!
When you see someone with ten stories or less, click on their profile.
When they have a story, read it!
If you liked the story, post a review.
If they need improvement, offer constructive criticism!
If they're looking for advice, give it to them.
If you enjoyed the story, add it to your favorites.
If they have something to copy and paste, copy and paste it.
If they've been a member for less than a year, click on their profile.
If they have a Mary Sue, tell them in a nice way how to improve.
Add them to your favorite authors list.
Send them a message.
Give them praise. They really like it!
We were all n00bs at one time. If you were ever a n00b, copy and paste this into your profile! XD

Girl Comebacks!

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the ends of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I could see you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put u and i together.
Woman: Really? I'd put f and u together.

Man: Your eyes, they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

Man: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
Woman: About as much as when you got kicked out of Hell.

Girls, copy and paste this on your profile!

COPY AND PASTE:

IT'S MERRY CHRISTMAS NOT X-MAS OR HAPPY HOLIDAYS SILLIES!! I KEEP SEEING MERRY X-MAS EVERYWHERE AND IT'S REALLY ANNOYING! IF YOU AGREE COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! -(from werefen2's profile)

If you believe in Jesus Christ, put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says, ‘If you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.’ I am a Christian and if you have a problem with my religion... Good luck with that one.

If you love FANFICTION.NET, add your name and copy and paste this into your profile. Rainstorm007, mysterys, Adderstar, Glissoning Raven, Aleksandrya Gregonovitch, freakily obsessed Yassen fan, Art is a bang XD, A'isha Ishtar, CelticKawaii

(..) (..)
(='.'=) This is Bunny. Put him on your profile to help him achieve World
(")_(") Domination and come join the Dark Side! We have cookies!

Post this
chocolate bar
on your profile
if you are a
Mello fan

ಠ_ಠ ; If that's how you feel about yaoi, put this on your profile.

If your favorite characters in almost all the animes or mangas are the wierdest ones, copy and paste this into your profile. (It's always the weird ones! That's why I like them!

If you've ever pushed off a school project till the week before it was due and still got a good grade on it, copy and paste this

Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "Too small" and "Off it's orbit" for a couple scientists' likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!

Post this on your profile if you have ever had a major fan girl moment.

All the good men in this world are either gay, taken, or fictional characters. Copy if true.

If your profile is longer than the chapters of most of your stories copy and paste this to your profile.

If you wish that people would just grow up and stop being racist, copy and paste this.

If you have ever gone to edit your profile, saw all these cut and paste things, and thought "DAMN! That is a lot of crap!" copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If your crazy/or insane and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you enjoy watching people get kicked in the groin, copy this onto your profile. (I love seeing that!!!) :D

If you have ever thought about murdering a fictional character and actually got so into it you started plotting, put this on your profile.

If there are characters on a certian show (no need to mention names) that you HATE BEYOND ALL REASON... copy and paste this into your profile.

If you would love someone because of their personality but not because of their looks, put this in your profile.

If you've ever cracked a joke that no one understood, and yet you thought it was hilarious, copy this to your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you are a geek, and are not ashamed of the fact, copy this to your profile.

If you think geeks are smexy, then copypasta this into your profile.

If you think that those God-forsaken kids should just give that Trix rabbit some Trix then copy this onto your profile.

65 percent of teenagers spend more time watching TV than reading. If you are part of the 35 percent who read more that watch TV, then copypasta this into your profile.

If you think yiff (lewdness/porn featuring furries) is sick, copy this to your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

Raise your hand if you want to smack the hand of reason.

If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy this into your profile.

If you think we should all shuck the gender debate and just give Chrona a hug, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever considered going to the dark side since they have cookies, copy this onto your profile.

If cheese, then put this on your profile.

If you were random enough to put that last one on your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you plan on writing a non-fanfic story and publishing it as a book, copy and paste this onto your profile

Chocolate is the food of the gods, if you agree then copy and paste this onto your profile! (It's not an opinion, it's a fact of life)

If you watch cool and exciting shonen anime for reasons OTHER than seeing cute boys, copy and paste this in your profile.

93 of the female population under 19 would be screaming in horror if the Jonas Brothers were about to jump off of the Empire State building. Paste this into your profile of you would be one of the 7 percent wondering why so many people liked them that much.

Many, many, many... many people love Twilight. Copy & paste if you love to HATE on it.

If you believe Redheads are sexier than Emos then copy and paste this onto your profile!

89% of the female Amican population would be freaking out if Justin Bieber was standing on the face of a cliff. Copy and paste this onto your profile if you would be part of the 11% that would be screaming "Do a flip!"

If you think Justin Bieber is a girl, copy and paste this onto your profile.

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