Hi everyone!

Name: Hannah

Likes: Horse riding, gymnastics, piano, reading (duh!)

I'm quite plain: small (as my siblings love to so frequetly remind me - my brother, who is younger than me by a year, is head and shoulders above me; my sister, who is four years younger, is an inch or two taller), I have long, dark brown hair, blue eyes and wear glasses.

You won't find me on facebook or anything of the sort as I don't really see the point of social networking sites and I'm not very social. I rarely go out, prefering to stay in and listen to music/read (I'm a total bookworm)

I would love to be in a musical and you would often find me singing along with any soundtrack or reciting the lines of my favourite film (eg Hermione in the Harry Potter films - we share many similar qualities...) but I'm afraid I'm not really very good and seem to have damaged my family's hearing so much that they think I'm good and can hit the high notes in 'I Feel Pretty' (Yeah right!).

I prefer instrumental music to pop, especially film scores. To anyone who likes that kind of thing I reccomend Harry Potter, Pirates of the Caribbean, Chronicles of Narnia, Shrek, Tangled, any Disney film or John Williams or Hans Zimmer score really.

FanFiction, you liar! I am not from the UK! I'm Irish, damnit! (Hooray! You allowed me to change it! XD)

My Top 10 Favourite:

Books

#1 Harry Potter series

#2 My Sister's Keeper (It's so sad! I cried so hard!)

#3 Pride and Prejudice

#4 Dan Brown's books

#5 Lord of the Rings

#6 Little Women

#7 Sherlock Holmes (genius!)

#8 Mansefield Park

#9 Persuasion

#10 A Walk To Remember (I was a mess after reading that, cried so hard, and then I decided to watch the movie, and cried even more, even though I didn't really like the movie. Loved the book, though!)

TV Shows

#1 Merlin (BBC)

#2 Teen Wolf

#3 Sherlock

#4 Supernatural

#5 Once Upon A Time

#6 Grimm

#7 Scrubs (season 9 sucked but the end of the season 8 finale, you know, the flash forward, was so moving!)

#8 Criminal Minds

#9 CSI:NY

#10 Numb3rs

Movies

#1 Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi (I love the whole Original Trilogy! The Prequel Trilogy...not so much. Episode III is alright, though and I love 'Across the Stars', the love theme from Episode II. In my opinion, the order from best to worst is: VI, IV, V, III, II, I)

#2 Lord Of The Rings

#3 Pirates of the Caribbean (the music is awesome!)

#4 Harry Potter (the books are so much better though)

#5 The Little Mermaid (Disney)

#6 Beauty and the Beast (Disney)

#7 Nanny McPhee

#8 The Princess & the Frog

#9 Sherlock Holmes

#10 Tangled

Pairings (I can't really decide on ratings, so I'll just list them)

Raikim (Xiaolin Showdown)

Lucy/Edmund (Chronicles of Narnia)-if it's AU, so one of them is adopted or they're not at all related

Arthur/ Merlin (Merlin) Come on! It's practically canon! (You know what; it is! I'm ignoring the stupid Arthur/Gwen-ness on the show because Arthur and Merlin have such better chemistry and he soooo likes Merlin better! I have to admit, Arthur/Gwen has grown on me, though only to the extent where I no longer feel like shouting at the screen, I can ignore it. At first, I was annoyed because the coupling of the characters, I just didn't see it, and it was so cliché, but then I discovered Arthur/Merlin...)

J.D./Elliot (Scrubs)

Harry/Ginny (Harry Potter)

Danny/Lindsay (CSI: NY)

Ron/Hermione (Harry Potter)

Klaine (Glee) (So freaking adorable! *squee*) (I can now only like them in AU or pre-4x04 - I just cannot see Kurt being able to forgive that and, mainly, trust him again)

Kurtbastian (Glee)

Lisa/Alex (Saddle Club)

Vaan/Penelo (Final Fantasy XII)

Charlie/Jason (Sleepover Club series 2-tv show, not books)

Rikki/Zane (H2O: Just Add Water)

Tamy (Heartland)

Alice/Mad Hatter (Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland)

Grissom/Sara (CSI: Crime Scene Investigation)

Squall/Rinoa (Final Fantasy VIII)

Selphie/Irvine (Final Fantasy VIII)

Woody/Jessie (Toy Story)

Peter/Wendy (Peter Pan) I always get really annoyed 'cause she always leaves!

Eragon/Arya (Inheritance Cycle)

Neville/Luna (Harry Potter)

Finchel (Glee)

Britanna (Glee)

Ross/Rachel (Friends)

Monica/Chandler (Friends)

Carla/Turk (Scrubs)

Jordan/ Dr Cox (Scrubs)

Stella/Mac (CSI: NY)

Charlie/Amita (Numb3rs)

Sam/Gabriel (Sabriel) (Supernatural)

Dean/Castiel (Destiel) (Supernatural)

Patrick Jane/Theresa Lisbon (Mentalist)

Sterek (Teen Wolf)

Enjolras/Grantaire (Les Misérables)

Most canon Disney pairings

Musicals

#1 Les Misérables

#2 Wicked

#3 The Lion King

#4 A Very Potter Musical

#5 A Very Potter Sequel

#6 Calamity Jane

#7 Mamma Mia!

#8 Oliver!

#9 Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat

#10 Hairspray

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?" (This is the best!)

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you. (As is this!)

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you. (This one is the best too!)

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run -beep- run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MUM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through school.

Friend: Will help me up when I fall down
Best Friend: Will point and laugh because she tripped me

Friend: Will help me find my way when I'm lost
Best Friend: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions

Friend: Asks me for my number
Best friend: Asks me for her number

Friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in public
Best Friend: Is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this!

(Whoops! Didn't realise that had a swear word in it! As a general rule, I don't swear. I think that it is vulgar and unnecessary but I don't force others to stop - I don't want to force my opinions on others!)

If you have ever seen a film, TV show, or anything of the like, and can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments, copy this into your profile.

If you could read a 700 page book in a day copy and paste this in your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. (All the time!)

If you're one of those people who gets excited when they get a new review, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever had to hop up and down on a stool in a bookstore because you were too short to reach the shelf the book you wanted was on, Copy/paste this into your profile.

A good book is a good friend-copy/paste this if you truly believe that.

If your idea of fun is reading, copy and paste this into your profile.

65 percent of teenagers spend more time watching TV than reading. If you are part of the 35 who read more than you watch TV then copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you know the lines to both Narnia movies copy and paste this onto your profile. (Well, most. I know Lucy's and Edmund's! They're the best! In my opinion, they should've been High King and Queen and Peter should've been Sir Peter Wolfsbane and Susan, Lady Susan of the court of Cair Paravel as she could still organise parties and, to be honest, what else does she really do that Lucy can't!?)

If you are one of the few people who don't have or want to have a myspace/facebook, copy and paste this into your profile.

Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.

If you have seen a movie so many times that you have memorized almost all of the lines, and you still laugh at every punch line, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you are a NevillexLuna shipper and still love it even after JK Rowling said it would never happen, copy this into your profile

If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile

If Fanfiction to you is what Facebook is to other people, copy this into your profile.

If you get way to excited for books, movies, ect. to come out, copy this into your profile

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird, and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on Facebook, or talking on a phone or. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out ever. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.

BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who can express herself better with words than with actions, and knows the importance of the little things.

Copy and Paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are diffrent and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone PrettyFanGirl, Truth Be Told 13, creative-writing-girl13, Jasper 1006, DubbleV,GwenFan22, Miss Peppy,Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Boysareadrag, The Dawn Is Breaking, twilite addict, The Lonely Teenager, AliceDaSpaz, , Fangalicious, Bellafan123, , XxThe Penny TreasurexX,bonifacio16, The Little Geeky Piano Girl

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.
The boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

Scissors can beat Paper, and Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear it up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!! IF THIS MADE YOU LAUGH COPY AND PASTE IT ON YOUR PROFILE. THIS WAS SO FUNNY!!!!

When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all.

When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.

When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever.

When a girl wants to see you everday, she wants to be pampered.

When a girl says "I love you." she means it.

When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that.

Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person.

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him.

The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.

The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him.

The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her."

Girl Comebacks!

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the ends of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I could see you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put u and i together.
Woman: Really? I'd put f and u together.

Man: Your eyes, they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

Man: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
Woman: About as much as when you got kicked out of Hell.

Girls, copy and paste this on your profile!

IF YOUR LIFE WERE A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?

Here's how it works:

Step 1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc.)
Step 2. Put it on shuffle
Step 3. Press play
Step 4. For every question, type the song that's playing
Step 5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
Step 6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool.

Then copy/paste it to your profile and share with everyone; it's fun! Seriously - it's so fun I did it twice!

Opening Credits:

-Symphony no 9: ‘From The New World’ movement 2 – Dvorak (Sounds like an awesome movie!)
-The Attraction of Evil – Rob Lane & Rohan Stevenson – Merlin: Series 2 (An amazingly atmospheric start but are you sure we’re in the right movie? Sorry, but you’ve got the wrong girl if this is the kind of film you’re looking for.)

Waking Up:

-I Miss You – Hannah Montana (Um, one of the few Hannah Montana songs I like, but it makes no sense...)
-Javert’s Arrival – Les Misérables (Did I leave my iPod on all night again?)

First Day At School:

-The Living Sculptures of Pemberly from 'Pride & Prejudice – Dario Marianelli (What sort of school is this?)
-Hello Goodbye – Glee Version (Now this makes much more sense!)

Making Your New Best Friend:

-Guinevere from 'Merlin' – Rob Lane (Do we bond over an incident with bullying?)
-Fearless – Taylor Swift (Huh. I could see it.)

Falling in Love:

-Marriage of Figaro Overture – Mozart (Do I meet this person at a concert? Hmm...you know, I think I’d like that...)
-One Day from 'Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End – Hans Zimmer (*Squeal* Love this track! Though it seems like my love is doomed...or at least one-sided...oh well...)

Breaking Up:

-The Dementors Converge from 'Harry Potter & The Prisoner of Azkaban' – John Williams (Good Lord – do we break up since we kill each other!? What an epic break up scene!)
-The Quidditch Match from 'Harry Potter & The Philosopher's Stone' – John Williams (Really? Are all my relationships going to have stormy break ups?)

Prom:

-Ray Laid Low from 'The Princess & The Frog' – Randy Newman (Oh, this is probably the scene where I sit at home reading or something while everyone else is off partying – that so sounds like me!)
-That Don’t Impress Me Much – Shania Twain (...Pretty sure we’re in the wrong movie. It sounds like guys are lining up to try to at least dance with this girl – so not me.)

Graduation:

-Another You – Cascada (Not sure about this one...)
-Alice Reprise #2 from Tim Burton's 'Alice in Wonderland – Danny Elfman (...Uh...maybe I’m late?)

Life's Okay:

-Frank Dies from 'Harry Potter & The Goblet of Fire' – Patrick Doyle (Um... I thought this was supposed to be life’s okay, not terrifying...)
-Bennie & The Bunnies from 'Gnomeo & Juliet' – James Newton Howard (Am I an intrepid explorer now? Cool.)

Death of A Close Friend:

-High King & Queen of Narnia from 'The Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader' – David Arnold (What? Am I happy this friend is dead?)
-Written In The Stars – Westlife (Gosh, this song makes me want to cry – it’s perfect! Definitely much better than the last!)

Mental Breakdown:

-Piano Sonata No 11 in A - Mozart (Wow, I go really crazy, don’t I?)
-At The Barricade (Upon These Stones) – Les Misérables (Am I paranoid?)

Driving:

-I Dreamed A Dream – Glee Version (This is about the only one I can actually see happening.)
-Vltava (The Moldau) – Smetana (Huh. Not the usual choice, but for me, I suppose so.)

Flashback:

-I Just Can’t Wait To Be King – The Lion King (Well, I suppose I am rather obsessed with Disney films...and songs...)
-The Story Continues from 'Harry Potter & The Goblet of Fire' – Patrick Doyle (Uh, what is this flashing back to exactly? Really, my life isn’t that exciting.)

Getting Back Together:

-Enter Lord Vader from 'Star Wars: Episode III' – John Williams (I’m worried what sort of relationship I’m engaging in!)
-Godric’s Hollow Graveyard from 'Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows' – Alexandre Desplat (Is the guy comforting me? That I could see, actually...)

Wedding Scene:

-Crazy For You – JLS (I love this song and it’d be really cute!)
-Tell Me Why –Taylor Swift (Uh, is this someone who I’m not-so-secretly in love with’s wedding to someone else?)

Birth of A Child:

-When She Loved Me – Toy Story 2 (Am I having a daughter that grows up to hate me or something?)
-Wonderful Tonight – Michael Bublé (Doesn’t seem quite the right place for that...)

Car Accident:

-Bohemian Rhapsody – Glee Version (...I don’t get it...)
-Better For You – JLS (Oh, come on iTunes! I have plenty of music that would be great in this situation and you pick this!?)

Final Battle:

-Alice Decides from Tim Burton's 'Alice in Wonderland' – Danny Elfman (I suppose this kind of makes sense...)
-King of Pride Rock from 'The Lion King' – Hans Zimmer (If this film is supposed to be about me – when would I ever be in this situation? Though if I was, this track would absolutely makes sense. Though I'm not King of anything.)

Death Scene:

-Fireworks from 'Harry Potter & The Order of the Phoenix' – Nicholas Hooper (Glad to know I’m so loved that people are so happy at my death...)
-Farewell to Gwen from 'Merlin: Series 2' – Rohan Stevenson (People mourn me now? This would make a really beautiful scene though.)

Quotes:

'"For all that pirates are clever clogs, we are an unimaginative lot when it comes to naming things. I once sailed with a geezer who lost both of his arms and part of his eye."

"What did you call him?"

"Larry."'

Captain Jack Sparrow & Joshamee Gibbs

Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End

Neena Broderick: Mr Corman is contending that the shoulder surgery he recieved ruined his tennis serve. I'm going to start by asking Dr. Turk if his diabetes could have affected his performance in any way.

Dr. Kelso: (to Turk) You're a diabetic?

Turk: Yes. I told you that.

Dr. Kelso: I thought you were joking!

Turk: How is that funny?

Dr. Kelso: Well, it's a very serious disease and I don't like you!

Dr Kelso, Dr Turk & Neena Broderick

Scrubs: S4, E10

Hagrid: Sorry, but I'm in no fit state to entertain today. (swings door shut)

Harry, Ron & Hermione: We know about the Philosopher's Stone!

Hagrid: (door opens again) Oh.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Hermione: Look at you! Playing with your cards, pathetic! We've got final exams coming up soon.

Ron: I'm ready! Ask me any question.

Hermione: Alright. What are the three most crucial ingredients in a forgetfulness potion?

Ron: I forgot.

Hermione: And what do you plan to do if this comes up on our final exam?

Ron: Copy off you?

Hermione: No you won't! Besides, according to Professor McGonagall we're to be given special quills bewitched with an anti-cheating spell.

Ron: That's insulting! It's as if they don't trust us!

(deleted scene)

Harry Potter & The Philosopher's Stone (film)

Hagrid: Ah, go boil yer heads, both of yeh!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Molly Weasley: Fred, you next.

Fred: I'm not Fred, I'm George! Honestly, woman, you call yourself our mother? Can't you tell I'm George?

Molly Weasley: Sorry, George, dear.

Fred: Only joking, I am Fred.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Harry: And what if I wave my wand and nothing happens?

Ron: Throw it away and punch him on the nose.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Draco Malfoy: Longbottom, if brains were gold you'd be poorer than Weasley, and that's saying something.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Harry: One of us has got to keep an eye on Snape — wait outside the staff room and follow him if he leaves it. Hermione, you'd better do that.

Hermione: Why me?

Ron: It's can pretend to be waiting for Professor Flitwick, you know. (In a high voice) Oh Professor Flitwick, I'm so worried, I think I got question fourteen b wrong...

Hermione: Oh, shut up.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hermione: Devil's Snare, Devil's Snare... What did Professor Sprout say? It likes the dark and the damp-

Harry: So light a fire!

Hermione: Yes - of course - but there's no wood!

Ron: HAVE YOU GONE MAD? ARE YOU A WITCH OR NOT?

shortly after

Harry: Lucky you pay attention in Herbology, Hermione.

Ron: Yeah, and lucky Harry doesn't lose his head in a crisis - 'there's no wood', honestly.

Harry Potter & The Philosopher's Stone (book)

Gilderoy Lockhart: [grins] Hello. Who are you?

Ron: Uh, Ron Weasley.

Gilderoy Lockhart: Really? And, er, who-who am I?

Ron: [to Harry] Lockhart's Memory Charm backfired. He hasn't got a clue who he is!

Gilderoy Lockhart: [picks up a rock] It's an odd sort of place, isn't it? Do you live here?

Ron: [takes the rock from Lockhart] No.

Gilderoy Lockhart: Really?

[Ron hits Lockhart on the head with the rock, knocking him out.]

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Lucius Malfoy: Let me see... red hair, vacant expressions, tatty second-hand books, you must be the Weasleys

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Molly Weasley: (via Howler) RONALD WEASLEY!!! HOW DARE YOU STEAL THAT CAR?!? I AM ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED!!! YOUR FATHER'S NOW FACING AN INQUIRY AT WORK, AND IT'S ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT!!! IF YOU PUT ANOTHER TOE OUT OF LINE, WE'LL BRING YOU STRAIGHT HOME!!! Oh, and Ginny, dear, congratulations on making Gryffindor. Your father and I are so proud. [the Howler blows a raspberry at Ron, then chews itself to pieces]

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Molly Weasley: Your sons flew that enchanted car of yours to Surrey and back last night!

Arthur Weasley: Did you really? How did it go? [Mrs. Weasley hits him] I mean, (forcefully) that was very wrong indeed, boys. Very wrong of you

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Arthur Weasley: Now, Harry, you must know all about Muggles. Tell me, what exactly is the function of a rubber duck?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Moaning Myrtle: Oh, Harry? If you die down there, you're welcome to share my toilet. [giggles]

Harry Potter & The Chamber of Secrets (film)

Hermione: (via letter) I'm very busy with schoolwork, of course

Ron: How can she be? We're on vacation!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ron: Maybe he's ill!

Harry: Maybe he's left, because he missed out on the Defence Against the Dark Arts job again!

Ron: Or he might have been sacked! I mean, everyone hates him –

Snape: Or maybe, he's waiting to hear why you two didn't arrive on the school train.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hermione: But that's very important! (about Defence Against The Dark Arts)

Ron: Not the way Lockhart teaches it. I haven't learnt anything from him except not to let pixies loose.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Lockhart: Just do what I did, Harry.

Harry: What, drop my wand?

Harry Potter & The Chamber of Secrets (book)

Ron: Spiders! They want me to tap dance! I don't wanna tap dance!

Harry: You tell those spiders, ron.

Ron: Yeah...yeah...I'll tell 'em... (snores)

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Remus: Severus, don't be a fool.

Sirius: He can't help it Remus, it's bound to be a habit by now.

Remus: Sirius, be quiet.

Sirius: Be quiet yourself, Remus.

Severus: Oh listen to you two, quarreling like an old married couple.

Sirius: Why don't you run along to play with your chemistry set?

Harry Potter & The Prisoner of Azkaban (film)

Uncle Vernon: What’s that? If it’s another form for me to sign, you’ve got another--

Harry Potter: It’s not. It’s a letter from my godfather.

Uncle Vernon: Godfather? You haven’t got a godfather!

Harry Potter: Yes I have. He was my mum and dad’s best friend, he’s a convicted murderer, but he’s broken out of wizard prison and he’s on the run. He likes to keep in touch with me though – keep up with my news, check I’m happy.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The Marauder's Map: Mr Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business.
Mr Prongs agrees with Mr Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git.
Mr Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a Professor.
Mr Wormtail bids Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Snape: THIS - HAS - SOMETHING - TO - DO - WITH - POTTER!

Fudge: Severus - be reasonable - Harry has been locked up -

Snape: OUT WITH IT POTTER! WHAT DID YOU DO?

Madame Pomfrey: Professor Snape! Control yourself!

Fudge: See here, Snape, be reasonable. This door's been locked, we just saw-

Snape: THEY HELPED HIM ESCAPE, I KNOW IT!

Fudge: Calm down, man! You're talking nonsense!

Snape: YOU DON'T KNOW POTTER! HE DID IT, I KNOW HE DID IT-

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Fudge: Fellow seems quite unbalanced. I'd watch out for him, if I were you Dumbledore.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ron Weasley: Right, you've got a crooked sort of cross.… That means you're going to have 'trials and suffering'—sorry about that—but there's a thing that could be the sun … hang on … that means 'great happiness' … so you're going to suffer but be very happy about it...…

Harry Potter: You need your inner eye tested.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Harry Potter: I'm not going to be murdered.

Mirror: That's the spirit, dear.

Harry Potter & The Prisoner of Azkaban (book)

Harry: [looks at the quill's notes] Hey! My eyes aren't "glistening with the ghosts of my past"!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Neville Longbottom: Oh my God, I've killed Harry Potter!

Harry Potter & The Goblet of Fire (film)

Harry: (about Ron's owl) Er-why are you calling that owl Pig?

Ginny: Because he's being stupid. Its proper name is Pigwidgeon.

Ron: (sarcastically) Yeah, and that's not a stupid name at all.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Percy Weasley: That [dragon dung] was a sample of fertilizer from Norway! It was nothing personal!

Fred: [Aside]It was. We sent it.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ron: I'm never wearing them, Never.

Mrs. Weasley: Fine, Go naked. And, Harry, make sure you get a picture of him. Goodness knows I could do with a laugh.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hermoine: Not going to have a very good month, are you?

Ron: Ah well, at least I'm forewarned.

Hermione: You seem to be drowning twice.

Ron: Oh am I? I'd better change one of them to getting trampled by a rampaging hippogriff.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dumbledore: My own brother, Aberforth, was prosecuted for practicing inappropriate charms on a goat. It was all over the papers, but did Aberforth hide? No, he did not! He held his head high and went about his business as usual! Of course, I'm not entirely sure he can read, so that may not have been bravery...

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ron: What are we doing here? Has something gone wrong?

Fred: Oh, no, Ron, no, this is exactly where we wanted to end up.

George: Yeah, we're having the time of our lives here.

Harry Potter & The Goblet of Fire (book)

[Crookshanks starts to play with the Extendable Ear eventually pulling it loose]

Ron: Hermione, I hate your cat.

Hermione: Bad Crookshanks!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sirius: Get away from my godson. [punches Malfoy]

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Umbridge: You applied first for the Defense Against the Dark Arts post, is that correct?

Snape: ...Yes.

Umbridge: But you were unsuccessful?

Snape: ...Obviously

[Ron snickers just as Umbridge leaves. Snape whacks him over the head with a book.]

Harry Potter & The Order of the Phoenix (film)

Fred: Give her hell from us, Peeves.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hermione Granger: Harry, don't go picking a row with Malfoy, don't forget, he's a prefect now, he could make life difficult for you...

Harry Potter: Wow, I wonder what it'd be like to have a difficult life?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Mrs. Weasley: I don't believe it! I don't believe it! Oh, Ron, how wonderful! A prefect! That's everyone in the family!

George Weasley: What are Fred and I, next-door neighbours?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Portrait: 'Tis a most grievous affliction of the skin, young master, that will leave you pockmarked and more gruesome even than you are now -

Ron Weasley: Watch who you're calling gruesome!

Portrait: - the only remedy is to take the liver of a toad, bind it tight about your throat, stand naked at the full moon in a barrel of eel's eyes -

Ron Weasley: I have not got spattergroit!

Portrait: But the unsightly blemishes upon your visage, young master -

Ron Weasley: They're freckles! Now get back in your own Portrait and leave me alone!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ron Weasley: I had a dream about Quidditch last night. What do you think that means?

Harry Potter: I dunno. Probably means you're going to be eaten by a giant marshmallow or something.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

George Weasley: We could try Fever Fudge, no one's seen that yet--

Ron Weasley: Does it work?

Fred Weasley: Well, yeah, your temperature'll go right up--

George Weasley: -- But you get these massive pus-filled boils too, and we haven't worked out how to get rid of them yet.

Ron Weasley: I can't see any boils.

Fred Weasley: No, well you wouldn't, they're not in a place we generally display to the public--

George Weasley: --But they make sitting on a broom a right pain in the--

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Uncle Vernon: What were you doing under our window, boy?

Harry Potter: Listening to the news.

Uncle Vernon: Listening to the news! Again?

Harry: Well, it changes every day, you see.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Fred Weasley: Do mine ears deceive me? Hogwarts prefects surely don't wish to skive off lessons?

Ron Weasley: Look what we've got today. That's the worst Monday I've ever seen.

Fred Weasley: Fair point, little bro. You can have a bit of Nosebleed Nougat cheap if you like.

Ron Weasley: Why's it cheap?

George Weasley: Because you'll keep bleeding till you shrivel up, we haven't got an antidote yet.

Ron Weasley: Cheers, but I think I'll take the lessons.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ron Weasley: I knew it! You always get away with stuff.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Draco Malfoy: You’re dead, Potter.

Harry Potter: Funny, you’d think I’d have stopped walking around…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ron:(Looking into crystal ball) It’s obvious what this means. There’s going to be loads of fog tonight.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ron: Aaaaah, when two Neptunes appear in the sky, it is a sure sign that a midget in glasses is being born, Harry…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Fred: {Talking about Voldemort} Fact remains, he can move faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo if he wants to

Harry Potter & The Order of the Phoenix (book)

Professor McGonagall: Potter, take Weasley with you. He looks far too happy over there.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Albus Dumbledore: [To Harry] You are, of course, wondering why it is I have brought you here tonight.

Harry Potter: Actually, sir, after all these years, I just sorta go with it

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

[Ron holds up a small box at Fred and George's shop]

Ron: How much is this?

Fred and George: Five Galleons.

Ron: How much for me?

Fred and George: Five Galleons.

Ron: I'm your brother!

Fred and George: Ten Galleons.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Filius Flitwick: Oh, about time. I've been looking all over for you two! Names?

Harry Potter: Professor Flitwick, you've known me for five years.

Filius Flitwick: No exceptions, Potter!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ron: [to Hermione and Ginny] Don't worry. He'll be here in a minute.[starts eating]

Hermione: [smacks him on the arm with a book] Will you stop eating? Your best friend is missing!

Ron: Oi. Turn around, you lunatic!

[Hermione and Ginny looks towards the Great Hall door and see Harry covered in blood.]

Ginny: He's covered in blood again. Why is it he's always covered in blood?

Ron: Looks like it's his own this time.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hermione: I went to-

Ron and Harry: The library!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

[About the cursed necklace]

Harry Potter: It was Malfoy.

Minerva McGonagall: That is a very serious accusation, Potter!

Severus Snape: Indeed. your evidence?

Harry Potter: I just know.

Severus Snape: You just know? [pause]Once again you astonish with your gifts Potter, gifts mere mortals can only dream of possesing. How grand it must be... to be the Chosen One.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ron Weasley: [about Ginny and Dean] What is it he sees in her?

Harry Potter: She's smart... funny... attractive...

Ron: Attractive?

Harry: Well you know... she has nice... skin.

Ron: Skin. So you think Dean's dating my sister because of her skin?

Harry: Well, no, I'm just saying it could be a contributing factor.

Ron: Hermione's got nice skin. You know, as skin goes, I mean.

Harry: I-I've never really thought about it. But I suppose, yeah. Very nice. [long pause]...I think I'll be going to sleep now.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hermionie Granger: [about Romilda Vane] She's only interested in you because she thinks you're the Chosen One.

Harry Potter: But I am the Chosen One.

[Hermione hits on the head with a rolled up newspaper.]

Harry Potter: Sorry, um, kidding.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ron: [under the effect of a love potion, fawning over Romilda Vane] I'm in love with her!

Harry: All right, fine, you're in love with her. Have you ever actually met her?

Ron: [Realizing] No. [Excitedly]Could you introduce me?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

[Harry says he is in a hurry to get to Hagrid's and says he must go]

Horace Slughorn: [Astounded] HARRY!

Harry Potter: [Similarly] Sir?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

[Slughorn pursues Harry, under the influence of Felix Felicis, across the grounds.]

Horace Slughorn: Harry, I must insist you accompany me back to the castle immediately!

Harry Potter: That would be counter-productive, sir!

Horace Slughorn: What makes you say that?

Harry Potter: No idea.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Horace Slughorn: [Seeing Aragog's corpse] Merlin's beard! Is that an actual Acromantula?

Harry Potter: A dead one, I think, sir.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Harry: Not to mention the pincers. (Makes pincer-like movements with hands)

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ron: [under influence of a love potion, hugging Slughorn] Hello, darling. Fancy a drink?

Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince (film)

Dumbledore: I take my hat off to you— or I would, if I were not afraid of showering you in spiders.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hermione: (When Harry decides to go down to bury Aragog instead of get the memory from Slughorn) This is Felix Felicis, I suppose? You haven't got another little bottle full of - I don't know -

Ron: Essence of Insanity?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Slughorn: Parry Otter, the Chosen Boy Who -- well, something of that sort.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

George: Well, we find we appreciate you more and more, Mum, now we're washing our own socks

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ron: Thanks-er, why do I need socks?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

[Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes advertisement]

Why Are You Worrying about You-Know-Who?
You SHOULD Be Worrying About
U-NO-POO —
the Constipation Sensation That's Gripping the Nation!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Severus Snape: Do you remember me telling you we were practicising non-verbal spells, Potter?

Harry Potter: Yes.

Snape: Yes, Sir.

Potter:There's no need to call me 'sir,' Professor.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Severus Snape: ...and of course, as Potter so wisely tells us, are transparent.

Ron Weasley:Well, what Harry said is the most useful if we're trying to tell them apart! When we come face to face with one down a dark alley we're going to be having a shifty to see if it's solid, aren't we, we're not going to be asking, 'Excuse me, are you the imprint of a departed soul?'

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Harry Potter: What did you have to imitate her [Hermione] for?

Ron Weasley: She laughed at my moustache!

Harry Potter: So did I, it was the stupidest thing I've ever seen.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ron Weasley: Well, you can't break an Unbreakable Vow.

Harry Potter: I figured that much out for myself, funnily enough.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ron Weasley: Only time I've ever seen Dad as angry as Mum. Fred reckons his left buttock has never been the same since.

Harry Potter: Yeah, well, passing over Fred's left buttock—

Fred Weasley: I beg your pardon?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Harry Potter: He accused me of being Dumbledore's man through and through.

Albus Dumbledore: How very rude of him.

Harry Potter: I told him I was.

Albus Dumbledore: I am very touched, Harry.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Vernon Dursley: I don't mean to be rude...

Albus Dumbledore: ...yet, sadly, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often.

Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince (book)

Harry: You're lying, Dolores... and one mustn't tell lies. Stupefy!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dobby:[After Luna calls him, "Sir"] I like her very much!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dobby: [After dropping a chandelier from the ceiling] Dobby did not mean to kill anyone! Dobby only meant to maim, or seriously injure!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Neville Longbottom: [Confronting Death Eaters on the train] Hey losers, He isn't here.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

George Weasley: [after Ginny spots him and stopped kissing Harry] Morning.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Fred/George: [disguised as Harry] Wow, we're identical!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ron Weasley: [as Cattermole] Morning.

Harry Potter: [as Runcorn] Ron, it's me.

Ron Weasley: [as Cattermole] Harry! Blimey, forgot what you look like.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Yaxley: Cattermole. It's still raining inside my office. That's two days now.

Ron Weasley (as Cattermole) Have you tried an umbrella?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ron Weasley: [as Cattermole] Oh, my God. What am I gonna do? My wife's all alone downstairs.

Harry Potter: [as Runcorn] Ron, you don't have a wife.

Ron Weasley: [as Cattermole] Oh, right.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hermione: [Whacking Ron with a backpack with each word after he returns] You-complete-arse, Ronald Weasley! You show up here after weeks, and you say 'Hey'?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ron: [Referring to Hermione] We won't last two days without her. [pause] Don't tell her I said that

Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows: Part I (film)

Ron: [Hearing a roar in the distance] That doesn't sound good.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ron: [about saving Malfoy] If we die for them Harry, I'm gonna kill you!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ron: [After Hermione is attacked] Hey! That's my girlfriend you numpty!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ron: [in Room of Requirement] AHHHHHH! Goyle has set the bloody place on fire!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Minerva McGonagall: [After using the spell piertotem locomotor to bring the statues to life and fight; excited]I've always wanted to use that spell!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hermione Granger: We can't just stand here. Who's got an idea?

Ron Weasley: Don't ask us. You're the brilliant one!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Harry Potter: We have to go there, now.

Hermione Granger: What? We can't do that! We've got to plan! We've got to figure it out...

Harry Potter: [interrupting]Hermione! When have any of our plans ever actually worked? We plan, we get there, all hell breaks loose!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ginny Weasley: [sees Harry] Harry!

Ron Weasley: [to Ginny] Hey. [waits for a response, then addresses Hermione] Six months she hasn't see me, it's like I'm a Frankie First Year. I'm only her brother...

Seamus Finnigan: She's got lots of them, but only one Harry.

Ron Weasley: Shut up, Seamus.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Neville Longbottom: Right then, so what's the plan Harry?

Harry Potter: Okay, there's something we need to find, something hidden here in the castle, and it may help us defeat You-Know-Who.

Neville Longbottom: Right, what is it?

Harry Potter: We don't know.

Dean Thomas: Where is it?

Harry Potter: We don't know that either. I realise that's not much to go on.

Seamus Finnigan: That's nothing to go on.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Argus Filch: STUDENTS OUT OF BED! Students out of bed in the corridor!

Minerva McGonagall: They're supposed to be, you blithering idiot!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Neville Longbottom: Professor, you're actually giving us permission to do this? To blow it up? Boom?

Minerva McGonagall: Boom!

Neville Longbottom: Wicked. Um, and how exactly do you propose we do this, Professor?

Minerva McGonagall: Why don't you confer with Mr. Finnegan? As I recall, he has a particular proclivity for pyrotechnics.

Seamus Finnigan: I can bring her down.

Minerva McGonagall: That's the spirit. Off you go.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Filius Flitwick: You do realize we can't keep out You-Know-Who indefinitely.

Minerva McGonagall: That doesn't mean we can't delay him. And his name is Voldemort, so you might as well use it, he's going to try and kill you either way.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Luna Lovegood: Harry, wait, I need to talk to you.

Harry Potter: I'm a bit preoccupied at the moment, Luna.

Luna Lovegood: You won't find it where you're going, you're wasting your time.

Harry Potter: We'll talk later, okay?

Luna Lovegood: Harry!

Harry Potter: Later!

Luna Lovegood: [shouting] Harry Potter! You listen to me right now!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Neville Longbottom: You haven't seen Luna have you?

Harry Potter: Luna?

Neville Longbottom: I'm mad for her. I think it's about time I told her, since we'll probably both be dead by dawn!

Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows: Part II (film)

Fred: Yeah, thirteen of us against one bloke who's not allowed to use magic; we've got no chance.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Fred: I'm George ...can't you even tell us apart when we're Harry?... I'm only yanking your wand, I'm Fred really--

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ron:I don't know how to break this to you...but I think they might have noticed we broke into Gringotts

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Neville: Thing was they bit off a bit more than they can chew with Gran. Little old witch living alone, they probably thought they didn't need to send anyone particularly powerful. Anyway, Dawlish is still in St. Mungo's and Gran's on the run

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Professor McGonagall: He has, to use the common phrase, done a bunk

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dumbledore: Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Neville: I'll join you when hell freezes over! Dumbledore's Army!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kreacher: Fight! Fight! Fight for my Master, defender of house-elves! Fight the Dark Lord, in the name of brave Regulus! Fight!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Peeves: We did it, we bashed them, wee Potter's the one, And Voldy's gone moldy so now lets have fun!

Ron: Really gives a feeling for the scope and tragedy of the thing, doesn't it?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ron: If you're not in Gryffindor, we'll disinherit you, but no pressure.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ron: Make sure you beat him in every test, Rosie. Thank God you inherited your mother's brains.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ron: Brilliant, I’ll go and get one of our other ancient goblin-made swords and you can gift wrap it

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Fred: Time to sit down, or we’re going to get run over by the bride.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Percy: Hello, Minister! Did I mention I'm resigning?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Remus Lupin: "Support Harry Potter" parties are unwise in the present climate.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

George Weasley: Yeah, she just told me my ears are lopsided. Old bat. I wish Uncle Bilius was still with us, though; he was a right old laugh at weddings.

Hermione Granger: Wasn't he the one who saw a Grim and died twenty-four hours later?

George Weasley: Well, he went a bit odd towards the end.

Fred Weasley: But before he went loopy he was the life and soul of the party. He used to down an entire bottle of Firewisky, then run on to the dance floor, hoist up his robes and start pulling bunches of flowers out of his-

Hermione Granger: Yes, he sounds a real charmer.

Ron Weasley: Never married, for some reason.

Hermione Granger: You amaze me.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Mrs. Weasley: How do you feel, Georgie?

George Weasley: Saint-like.

Fred Weasley: What's wrong with him? Is his mind affected?

George Weasley: Saint-like. You see...I'm holy! Holey, Fred, geddit?

Fred Weasley: Pathetic. Pathetic! With the whole wide world of ear-related humour before you, you go for holey?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ron Weasley: No, I mean we should tell [the house elves] to get out. We don't want any more Dobbys, do we? We can't order them to die for us -

[Hermione kisses him]

Harry Potter: (weakly) Is this the moment?

[Ron and Hermione don't stop kissing and hug more tightly]

Harry Potter: (annoyed) OI! There's a war going on here!

[Ron and Hermione stop kissing, but continue to hug each other]

Ron Weasley: (as though a bludger has hit him) I know, mate, so it's now or never, isn't it?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Percy Weasley: I was a fool! I was an idiot, I was a pompous prat, I was a – a --

Fred Weasley: Ministry-loving, family-disowning, power-hungry moron.

Percy Weasley: Yes, I was!

Fred Weasley: Well, you can't say fairer than that. (holds out his hand)

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hermione Granger: ...what Harry did to Riddle's diary was one of the few really foolproof ways of destroying a Horcux.

Harry Potter: What, stabbing it with a basilisk fang?

Ron Weasley: Oh well, lucky we've got such a large supply of basilisk fangs, then. I was wondering what we were going to do with them.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hermione Granger: Merlin's pants!

Ron Weasley: "Merlin's pants?" She must be upset.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

James Sirius Potter: Teddy's back there. Just seen him! And guess what he's doing? Snogging Victoire! Our Teddy! Teddy Lupin! Snogging our Victoire! Our cousin! And I asked Teddy what he was doing-

Ginny Potter: You interrupted them? You are so like Ron-

J.S.P: -and he said he'd come to see her off! And then he told me to go away. He's snogging her!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Harry: No, you and Al will share a room only when I want the house demolished.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ginny: Don't forget to give Neville our love!

J.S.P: Mum! I can't give a Professor love!

Ginny: But you know Neville -

J.S.P: Outside, yeah, but at school he's Professor Longbottom, isn't he? I can't walk into Herbology and give him love...

Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows (book)

Hotchner: This is Special Agent Spencer Reid.

Gideon: Doctor Reid.

Hotchner: Dr. Reid, our expert on...well, everything.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

[dog barks and Reid jumps]

Hotchner: It's ok, it's what we call the Reid effect; it happens with children, too.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hotchner: This is Dr. Reid

Heather’s Brother: Doctor? You seem too young to have gotten into medical school...

Reid: They're PhD's, three of them.

Heather’s Brother: Are you a genius or something?

Reid: I don’t believe that intelligence can be accurately quantified, but I do have an IQ of 187, an eidetic memory and can read 20,000 words per minute. [gets a weird look] Yes, I’m a genius.

Criminal Minds: S1, E1

Reid: I don't know everything. I mean, despite the fact that you think I do.

Morgan: I never said that. When have I ever said that?

Reid: Every day since I met you.

Elle: This morning at breakfast.

Hotchner: Yesterday when he beat you at cards, um, we've got one minute.

Morgan: Anybody ever heard of sarcasm?

Elle and Reid: Mmhm.

Criminal Minds: S1, E5

Blackwolf: Samuel, tell the men from the FBI who the Ga'he are.

Reid: The Ga'he are mighty spirits who dwell in desert caves.

Hotchner: Reid, is your name Samuel?

Reid: Sorry.

Criminal Minds: S1, E16

Morgan: Why are you acting so weird?

Elle: We're sitting with a guy who knows that there are 800 kernels of corn on the average cob...

Reid: ...Arranged in 16 separate rows.

Elle: And you're calling me weird?

Criminal Minds: S1, E20

[After the room the unsub was in blows up setting the building on fire]

Hotchner: What the hell was that?

Reid: He had a bomb.

Morgan: You didn't think we needed to know that?

Reid: I told you to go downstairs.

Morgan: You didn't say "bomb!"

Criminal Minds: S2, E1

Morgan: Oh, one last thing. Look up the words "sexy" and "brilliant" in that computer of yours, and tell me what you come up with.

Garcia: Look at that, it's me.

Morgan: You are a goddess, woman. Ciao. [to surrounding fertility clinic patients, most of whom are paying rapt attention] ...It was a work call.

Criminal Minds: S2, E5

Reid: Garcia, I'm sitting in the dark alone, thanks.

Garcia: While you're waiting for a potential murderer to come home? Kind of dangerous. Kind of sexy.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Garcia: Reid, seriously, people that go inside that house never come out. Spoooky.

Reid: Garcia, could you at least pretend not to enjoy that rumor so much since I have actually entered that house?

Criminal Minds: S2, E6

Gideon: [to Morgan] Ever talked to someone who wants to continually show you he's smarter than you?

Morgan: [motions to Reid] Every day.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Garcia:...A guy went crazy on a bunch of computers at a science lab, screaming, "We will soon be the slaves and the machines will be the masters." [Looking around at her many computers] Yikes. That would totally suck for me. [Whisper] I'm surrounded in here.

Criminal Minds: S2, E8

JJ: Nothing's happening.

Reid: Shhh watch [the rocket launches, JJ and Garcia scream, and it hits Emily in the head]

Emily: Ooh ow, what was that?

Reid: Oh, I am so sorry Emily!

Garcia: Don't you recognize a rocket when you see one?

Reid: I was merely demonstrating a physics law. I didn't mean to..

Emily: Ooh show me!

Reid: Turn around.

Emily: Turn around?

JJ: Yeah, he's not gonna show you how it's done.

Reid: A magician never reveals his secrets.

Emily: I thought you said this was physics?

Reid: Physics...magic !

Garcia:Trust me, it will do you no good to argue with him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hotchner: Physics magic?

Reid: Yes, sir.

Hotchner: Reid, we talked about this.

Reid: I'm sorry, sir.

Hotchner: [smiling] You're really starting to get some distance on these things.

Emily:So he does have a sense of humor?

Reid: Sometimes.

Criminal Minds: S2, E12

Garcia: Are you lonely in the Lone Star state? And are you wearing chaps?

Morgan: Only in your dreams, Garcia

Garcia: Oh, not necessarily. I have Photoshop.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Morgan: Garcia, I had better never find any Photoshopped pictures of me on your computer.

Garcia: Oh trust me my vision, you will never FIND them.

Criminal Minds: S2, E17

Prentiss: [in a bar, acting very excited] Ladies, this is Brad – a real FBI agent!

Garcia: Really?

Prentiss: Really!

JJ: No way!

Garcia: That's exciting! What's it like at Quan-ti-co?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

JJ: Must be tough keeping all those secrets.

Brad: It’s a skill, like anything else. Carpenters are good at building stuff, measuring. The FBI’s good at keeping secrets and kicking criminal ass.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Prentiss: Can we see it?

Brad: See what?

Prentiss: Your badge.

Garcia: Please?

Brad: Sorry, that's...

Prentiss, JJ, Garcia together: Classified

Prentiss: [she holds up her badge] Tell me Brad, does it look anything like this?

JJ: [hold up hers] Or this?

Garcia: [holds up hers] Or maybe, this?

[Brad hurries away]

Criminal Minds: S2, E21

Morgan: [on the phone with Garcia] Just leave it alone until I get there. Hey, hey, hardhead. Don't make me spank you when I get back.

Reid: Don't listen to him Garcia, he's all talk. [Morgan smacks Reid's head] Ow! JJ, he just hit me!

JJ: [not looking up] Boys, behave or I will ground you both.

Criminal Minds: S3, E10

JJ: [in a sing-song voice] Garcia and Kevin sitting in a tree... [walks away]

Morgan: Get out of here... you serious? [walks away]

Prentiss: Just when I thought that nothing scandalous was ever going to happen around here.

Reid: What? What does that mean?

Prentiss: Didn't you hear JJ?

Reid: The song meant something? No. No, I missed it!

Prentiss: It... it... it... You know what? Never mind.

Criminal Minds: S3, E14

Garcia (speaking over the phone to adoption services): Yes, I know, 54 Native Americans. Ma'am, I have all that. What I really need now is identifiable information. (pauses, as JJ steps into the room) Yes, I know what a closed adoption means. Do you know what a court order means?

JJ: We don't have time for court orders.

Garcia: Right. Well, you know what Ma'am, I am done being nice. If you look to your cursor, you'll notice that it's moving on its own. That's me hacking your secure network. Now I've got her file, now I've got her social, and now, because you're grumpy, I'm going to send your boss those Jamaican vacation photos. Check you out, no tan lines.

Criminal Minds: S3, E19

Reid: I'd like to get a map of the borough, I wanna do a comprehensive geographical profile of the area in order to ascertain the unsub's mental map before it's clouded by our own linkage points.

Detective Preston: I see you brought your own computer.

Criminal Minds: S3, E20

[Hotch, JJ and Reid are talking to Garcia via. phone.]

Reid: Thanks Garcia.

Garcia: You, my fine furry friends, are welcome!

[Garcia hangs up]

Hotch: Remind me to have her drug tested.

Criminal Minds: S4, E4

[on feeling JJ's baby kick]

Reid: Doesn't that freak you out?

JJ: No. Why, does it freak you out?

Reid: Very much so.

Criminal Minds: S4, E5

Prof Rothchild: [after being told his rights by Morgan] Next time, bring Dr. Reid back with you.

[outside the interrogation room]Reid: I never have any normal fans...

Criminal Minds: S4, E8

Detective: (About Reid) Where did you get this kid?

Rossi: He was left in a basket on the steps of the FBI.

Criminal Minds: S4, E12

Garcia: Reid, we need a DOB on Prentiss!

Reid: 7:12 AM, October 12th, 19...

Prentiss: Hey!

Criminal Minds: S4, E14

Reid: What's this?

Hotch: You told me you were cleared to fly. You lied.

Prentiss: Naughty boy.

Reid: No I didn't. I am a doctor, so technically it wasn't a lie.

Garcia: What was it then?

Reid: ...A second opinion?

Garcia: You're my bitch now.

[Morgan laughs]

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Rossi: I work with a kid who could solve this in five minutes.

Ray Finnagan: He must be smarter than both of us.

Rossi: That's for sure.

Criminal Minds: S5, E3

Garcia: Password was Cullen.

JJ: Of course.

Reid: Colan?

JJ: Cullen, the vampire family from Twilight.

Reid: What's Twilight?

JJ: Do you ever read anything other than technical books?

Reid: Not much in English.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

JJ: I am gonna go talk to Tara's BFF before the media requests come in and gets too crazy.

Reid: What's a BFF?

Criminal Minds: S5, E7

Reid: What is that?

Prentiss: It's called a star puzzle. It's basically impossible to figure out. You have put all of the pieces back together to form a perfect star. But the origin of it, is um, kind of a romantic tale. There, was this young prince who wanted to win the heart of the fairest maiden in the land, so he climbed to the top of the tallest tower in the kingdom and he caught a falling star for her. Unfortunately, he was so excited that he dropped it and it smashed into all of these pieces, so he frantically put it back together again to prove his undying love to her and he succeeded. And they lived happily ever after.

Reid: That doesn't make any sense.

Prentiss: [pauses and gives Reid a glare] What do you mean?

Reid: You can't catch a falling star. It would burn up in the atmosphere.

Prentiss: Yeah, but it's not literal Reid. It's a fable.

Reid: But there's no moral uh, fables have morals.

Prentiss: Ok, so it's just a romantic little story. The point is, [Reid picks up the unsolved puzzle] it's basically impossible to do because you have to take all of those pieces and fit them together exactly... [Reid puts the solved puzzle on the table] There's a lot to hate about you Dr. Reid.

[Morgan laughs]

Rossi: Play poker with him sometime.

Morgan: Try playing chess with him.

Garcia: Or Go.

Criminal Minds: S5, E13

Morgan: You're not enjoying this, are you?

Reid: I like a good paper trail. I find it meditative.

Morgan: Is it really that hard for you to be normal just one time?

Criminal Minds: S5, E14

Reid: Contrary to popular belief decapitation is not that easy.

Rossi: Hmm. You don't often hear popular and decapitation in the same sentence.

Criminal Minds: S5, E19

Morgan: [after finding a journal with minuscule handwriting, with Prentiss] Hey, Reid.

Reid: What's up?

Morgan: Our man here was a prolific journaler.

Prentiss: With teeny tiny handwriting.

Reid: He probably had counseling at some point, where journaling was part of his therapy.

Prentiss: That's what we were thinking.

Reid: [after a pause] And?

Morgan: Well, you know, the two of us (Prentiss and himself), it would take us like 3 days to read all this stuff.

Reid: You guys owe me.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Rossi: Its like 110 out here, and it feels like a refrigerator compared to the warehouse.

Morgan: How's Reid doing?

Rossi: It doesn't even seem to faze him--he's sitting in a corner turning pages.

JJ: Yeah, Reid goes to another place when he reads.

Criminal Minds: S5, E20

(Jack walks into the room, dressed in a makeshift suit

Hotch: Woah, that is definitely not Spiderman!

Jack: He's not a real superhero.

Hotch: He's not? Ok, I give up. Who are you supposed to be?

Jack: I'm you, Daddy!

Hotch: (smiles) Let's go get some candy, my little G-man

Criminal Minds: S6, E6

Morgan: Considering the wide divergence of abduction and dump sites this guy could be anywhere, LA is over 500 square miles.

Reid: Uh, 498.3 (looks away)

Morgan: (Chuckles)

Criminal Minds: S6, E14

Rossi: Well, that's a good look. Seen Jack yet?

Hotchner: No.

Rossi: Well, he'll love that beard.

Hotchner: Yeah, we Skyped every day. Not a fan.

Criminal Minds: S7, E1

Morgan: Alright, feel free to call me if you have any other background questions. My phone number is 702-555-0103.

Reporter: And what's your name, sir?

Morgan: It's Doctor Spencer Reid. R-E-I-D.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Reid: Actually most feel empathy just fine, which makes me think the rest of our profile is still accurate. Loner, invisible, outcast, boiling rage (his phone rings again) SON OF A BITCH! (answers) Hi, this is Doctor Spencer Reid. I actually can come to the phone right now with a very special message that your mother is a--

Hotch: Reid.

Reid: (hangs up) I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I don't know what got into me. Where were we?

Hotch: I'm going to have Garcia check into medical records. What causes asymbolia?

Reid: (noting Morgan's smirk) Severe... trauma produces legions in the insular cortex usually after a stroke, but this unsub's so young, it's probably caused by an external factor.

Rossi: Like a bomb going off next to him?

Reid: (accusing tone, directed at Morgan) Yeah, like a bomb going off next to him. (whispered, to Morgan) I will crush you.

Morgan: What?

Reid: What?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Recording of Reid on Morgan's MP3 player: We interrupt your regularly scheduled music selection with an important announcement: Never wage a practical joke war against an MIT graduate because we have a history of going nuclear. Now sit back, relax, and enjoy the dulcet sounds of me screaming in your ear. AHHHhhhhhAAAHHHHHHhhhhh!!!!

(Morgan yanks off headphones)

Morgan: Ok, kid, that was cute, but is that all you got?

(Reid snores loudly, then smiles when Morgan's phone rings and he answers)

Morgan: Hey, baby girl--

Reid: (through phone) AHHHHH!!!!

(Rossi waves a white napkin and offers it to Morgan)

Morgan: (refuses to accept the white flag) Uh, huh. All right Reid, it's on. Just know that paybacks are a bitch.

(Reid snores loudly once again)

Criminal Minds: S7, E4

Reid: How about ten pairs of shoes? I mean, that has to be enough, right? Ten?

JJ: Uh, Spence, it's different with the ladies. We need them to match our belts, our handbags, our skirts, and fashions change with the seasons.

Garcia: Yes, boys are so boring: pants, shoes and out the door.

Prentiss: Although it's not like men don't have their things. I dated a golfer once. He had twelve putters in his closet. But this conversation is reminding me I need new boots.

Garcia: Oh, they're having a sale at DeMill's on those tall boots with the kitty heels. You wanna go?

Prentiss: Yeah.

Morgan: You getting any of this, kid?

Reid: No.

Criminal Minds: S7, E5

Garcia: Okay, ugh, see this is why I can't talk about how my day was at dinner, or breakfast, or lunch. (Looks up Reid's suggestion) Spencer, you scare me.

Rossi: Join the club.

Criminal Minds: S7, E7

Xiaolin Showdown

In my imagination, Xiaolin Dragons:

-Non human (personification of their element)
-Can read minds/project their thoughts into the heads of others/search through the minds of others (Kimiko is best at it, others exert some energy doing so but she can easily both break through the others' defences and uphold her own)
-Eye colours aren't to do with genetics - decided by element (e.g. Kimiko's family have brown eyes yet hers are cerulean blue, Raimundo's family's eyes are a pale green and his are emerald)
-Birth mark on right shoulder (Chinese/Japanese symbol for their element - the one shown on the show)
-Better eyesight, hearing, faster and stronger than humans
-Stop aging when the eldest of the team reaches 20 - Clay is oldest (20-July 23rd), Kimiko is youngest (17-Feb 15th), Raimundo (18-Sept 17th) and Omi (18-April 16th)
-Kimiko and Raimundo are the best fighters and are the only ones who can beat each other, closely followed by Omi, then Clay
-Raimundo/Kimiko
-Clay/Emmaline(OC)
-Omi/Lilia(OC)
-Aidan/Keiko (Rai's BF (OC) and Kim's BF)
-Wuya/Chase
-Jack/Ashley
-Raimundo can sing and plays guitar
-Kimiko can sing and plays piano, guitar, drums, violin
-Raimundo and Kimiko are outstanding dancers (fire and wind dance - right?)
-Raimundo and Kimiko have twins called Mario (Kimiko's hair and Raimundo's family's eyes) and Ciara (Raimundo's hair and Kimiko's mother's eyes)

I love writing XS versions of traditional fairytales (mostly the disney animated versions)

I can watch hardly any film without manipulating the characters and story to fit Raikim!

(I'm totally insane, I know!)

News

I am now on fictionpress - The Little Music Geek - and my story 'Heart In A Headlock' (apologies for the title, it was the best I could come up with!) was originally a XS/Wicked crossover with Raikim and Fiyeraba but I realised that the only real similarities between the characters were their physical appearance so I decided to make up my own, though the names took a long time. If you'd like to check it out... I'm rather worried that I misjudged this so if you'd read it and tell me if the characters are too much like the ones I just mentioned I'd really appreciate it!

Someone mentioned in a review for 'Happily Ever After, After All' that I should add more to it; where they actually date and so on. So I thought I'd put this here since it was an anonymous review and in the off chance they were on this profile, also in case anyone else was wondering the same thing after reading it (not that there's many who have, but oh well). I am planning a sequel that will be longer than 'Happily Ever After, After All', but I haven't gotten round to starting it yet.

I want to start making trailers for my fanfics as my mind has recently been flooded with ideas for it, but I don't have any clips. Does anyone know anywhere I could download clips for Xiaolin Showdown, Merlin and The Chronicles of Narnia movies? If you do, please PM me, or leave a review. I'd really appreciate it! EDIT: Honestly, I'm not sure I could though I really want to, if any of my readers is good at/likes editing videos, would you consider making a trailer? Or a cover?

I am now on tumblr - - and I am trying to develop and push my writing style by maybe moving a little out of my comfort zone. So please send me prompts! I really want to get back to writing this summer - I have missed it so much!