In the beginning, the universe was created. This made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.
-Douglas Adams

I am occasionally asked for advice by young people. I'm not sure why.
After many years of careful observation and experience, the best advice I can offer is this:

"DON'T GROW UP,
IT'S A TRAP!"

UPDATE ON ALL PROJECTS- Oct-2016: I'm going to blame my lack of output here on the YouTube project I've been working on with my kids for the last year. (Please ignore the fact that my publishing schedule before that was practically non-existent or that it took me five years to finish "Out of Sight, Out of Mind." I'm still blaming the project.) We do reactions and discussions of Steven Universe, No Evil and RWBY. We also did a couple of short series, Over the Garden Wall and Dragon Age: Redemption. Filming and editing takes up a lot of my "free" time and creative energy, but I haven't abandoned writing completely.

I have completed my light-hearted, action-comedy set in Kirkwall. I decided that I liked the title: "Don't Get Dead," and stuck with it. It's full of fighting, fencing and witty zingers along with some crude humor. None of the main characters die and the only conspiracy is quite small! I'm very happy with it. "Finding Home" is proving to be more challenging that I had originally anticipated. I very much want to write a story that can be read without playing 300 hours of video games and it is much harder than it seems. The world of Thedas is so rich in lore and history that I want to include it all. Progress is slow but it is still progress. It continues in the vein of my usual angst-fest where the hero barely survives but still gets the girl in the end. I finally convinced my muse that plot and character development had no place in "Harry Potter and the Stoned Philosopher." There's an outside chance she'll leave me alone and more chaos will ensue.

I do have an outline and a very rough version of the third act of "Give Me One Reason." Who knows? you might even see that sometime. (but probably not.)

I'm still very upset with fanfiction.net. Their policy of not allowing any outside links in stories, or profiles is detrimental to the fan community on the whole. I encourage you to seek out the people I have mentioned and linked to in this profile as their art is inspiring and well worth your time. The links don't work directly, but can be cut and pasted into your browser window, then replaces the "(dot)" with a period. I also encourage you to contact the administers of this website and ask them to end their stupid fucking asinine policy of exclusion that accomplishes nothing but tacit encouragement and support of art theft without proper recognition or credit.

I am-
Alex "Papa Storytime" Markov

If you're reading this, you might care enough to let me know how I could improve what I've published here. I would appreciate that. Even if it was published a long time ago, I'd still like to read what you have to say about it. And every signed review gets a response, even reviews for old stories. (I would be happy to reply to anonymous reviews but there is no mechanism in place for that here at ffnet.) I wouldn't mind being a Beta reader in a one for one exchange. (In other words, I'll look at yours if you'll look at mine.) If you would like to give or receive in-depth critiques, ask specific questions or just shoot the breeze, my e-mail is: storytimewithalex (at) gmail (dot) c o m

I was nominated for eleven Fannies in the second annual Kim Possible Fannie Awards, including Best Writer, Best New Writer, Best Drama, Best Comedy, Best Action/Adventure and Best One Shot. I didn't win anything, but I was still honored by the number and variety of the nominations. Thanks to everyone who participated. A complete list of the 2006 nominees and winners can be found here

I was nominated for three Fannies in the Third Annual Kim Possible Fannie Awards, including Best Short Story, Best Crossover/Fusion and Best Writing Team (With King in Yellow.) I only wrote four stories that qualified for the 2007 Fannies and three of them got nominated, so I'm not too depressed about it despite the drop off in the number. You can read all about the third annual Fannies here.

Fannie Nominated Stories:

-Don't do me any Favors (Drama, Action/Adventure, Minor Character)
-Fears and Favors (Action/adventure, Villain)
-Follow the Queen (Comedy, One-Shot)
-Follow the Queen II: Deuces Wild (Writing Team with King in Yellow)
-Give Me One Reason (Short Story)
-If I Ran the World (Crossover/Fusion)
-Unrealized Potential (Drama, One-Shot)

Fan art Inspired by my stories:

-Phantalus (who also writes Mirlet fiction) drew this: "Let Me Love You." phantalus(dot)deviantart(dot)com/art/Let-me-Love-You-version-three-479933610
-Rachel Levitte (If you like femslash, you'll like her gallery.) drew this: rachellevitte.deviantart(dot)com/art/Request-Violet-Mirage-527099932?q=favby-Markov&qo=0
-Happy-R once drew a picture of Randy Newman eating cookies for me. Technically it isn't fan art but I'll take it. happy-r(dot)deviantart(dot)com/art/Randy-Newman-and-Cookies-76687088
-Here is a collection of Kigohearts. a-markov(dot)deviantart(dot)com/favourites/8627201/Kigohearts

Copy, paste and replace the "(dot)" with actual "." to see these awesome artworks. Support fan art and check out their galleries!
If you know of other stuff out there, please drop me a line so I can get a huge ego boost and brag about it too all my friends. (Or at least to both of my twitter followers.)

Cover art for You Don't Know Shit!- kryptocow kryptocow(dot)deviantart(dot)com/art/Very-Charming-Marian-Hawke-version-439133371?q=gallery&qo=8

Works in progress-

Harry Potter and the Stoned Philosopher: A wildly silly romp along bizarre tangents, beyond the edges of rationality and across a sea of obscure references in an ocean of insane inanity, or inane insanity. There's a little something for everyone: geometry, punctuation, gardening, etymology, grammar... you name it, it's in here.

Finding Home: Dragon Age: Inquisition. After the events at Adamant Fortress, Hawke wakes to find that, once again, everything she has worked for is in ruins. Her hard work of the last year has been destroyed, she’s been betrayed by a close friend, and she’s being pressured to act as understudy to the leader of the most powerful political force in Thedas. Last time this happened, the whole world fell apart. This time, she wants nothing to do with it.

Lady Slings the Booze: (A sequel to "Don't Get Dead.") It was an exaggeration to say that Marian Hawke spent all of her time in whore houses. She would be quick to point out that she also frequented seedy bars and participated in an occasional dice game down near the docks. Besides, it was probably closer to seventy-five percent of her time… okay, maybe eighty percent.

Things I have learned while writing fanfiction:

-The Microsoft Word Thesaurus is woefully inadequate
-I have a frightening amount of darkness in me
-Writing is an emotional process as well as a physical process.
-A good beta reader is hard to hold on to
-Sometimes you just have to throw it all away and start over
-Sometimes it comes out almost perfectly the first time
-A good title is important
-A good summary is more important than a good title
-Comedy is a lot harder than drama
-Few people comment
-Nobody comments on the things you expect to receive comments on.
-Ending a story is harder than starting one
-Chapter three is evil
-Collaboration is fun
-Sometimes the characters just do what they want
-I should probably have more than one chapter written before I start posting a story
-The holidays are fairly hectic
-My muse is easily distract... oooh! shiny!
-A bigger hammer is almost always a good idea
-More beta readers is a good thing
-Damn, it feels good to be a gangster
-You can never escape the politics
-Plot Bunnies are really cute from a distance but you really don't want to see 'em close up
-Just because you write the beginning and the end, it doesn't mean the middle will write itself
-Real life has its own agenda
-Giving in to pressure can be rewarding
-Batman makes everything funnier- www(dot)shortpacked(dot)com/index.php?id=24
-You don't get your stuff back just because she's a bitch.
-There's always more of the story that can be told.
-Sometimes you just need to take a break.
-The truth might be out there, but it's not labeled.
-Don't carry all your work around on one Jump Drive.
-Just because you do everything the right way doesn't mean you'll get what you want.
-nothing inspires writing like writing (though getting good feedback helps too.)
-a chapter is as long as it is.

Future Projects-

These are ideas that I've actually written up notes and outlines for. Inclusion on this list doesn't mean they'll ever actually get written. There is a possibility that stories will migrate back and forth between "in progress" and ""future projects" as my mood and muse dictate. Stories that generate interest are more likely to move into the "in progress" slot.

Give Me One Reason: Kim Possible. What did Shego do after she quit Team GO? Who trained her in the art of the heist? How did she hook up with Dr. Drakken? All of these questions are answered in "Green Suede Boots." What would cause a hero to turn her back on the world and run off with a villain? Can a relationship between a hero and a villain really work? Can a hero really just walk away? These questions are answered in "Learning to Fly."
Act I- Green Suede Boots: Complete.
Act II- Learning to Fly: Complete.
Act III- The Ballad of Bet and Elly: Just an outline and a couple of notes. Look for this to come out in the summer. (some summer, anyway.)

There Was a Hole: Mass Effect. A look at the unconsummated relationship between Commander Shepard and Dr. Liara T'soni, filtered through the run-time processes of the Geth mobile platform, 'Legion.'

A Favor Before Dying: Kim Possible. SHELVED due to lack of interest. The third and final story in the "Favors" arc. WEE has a new, improved attitudinator and they aren't afraid to use it. Shego is their first victim, Kim is next on the list and we finally find out why Betty Director is such a bitch. I experimented with a different style of story presentation and it did not go well, so I pulled this story and it will be undergoing an extensive rewrite. For the few of you who were with me and interested in the story, don't fret. I've got about seventeen thousand words written and I'm not throwing it away, just repackaging it. Unfortunately, I can't give you a firm date for re-release because I'm committed to "Out of Sight, Out of Mind" right now.

Jack and Jane: Dr. Who/Kim Possible (BE) crossover. When the Tardis appears in the doorway of the basement at Casa Possible. Jane must help The Doctor and Martha find it again while defending her family's home from the last of the Jacks. Space ships, aliens, time loops, and a swarthy man selling Treacle Tarts on a stick are just the beginning of her problems... eventually she's going to have to explain all of this to her mothers! Set in King in Yellow's "Best Enemies" Kimi-verse.

De Fide Petri: FT&T Universe. Peter Reidinger fights for the rights of the talents in the infancy of the FTT. A challenge story written for Qoheleth's "Malachy O'More" series of stories using the Malachy prophecies as titles. Sep. 6- Outlined and roughed. circa 4K words.

A Year at Yamanuchi: (Bonnie makes this gi look good.) Kim Possible. Bonnie doesn't get the man at the end of Fear & Favors, why isn't she pissed about it? The tale of how Bonnie finds peace and the confidence to eschew the opinions of others. A "Favors" story set after the last chapter of F&F but before the epilogue.

A Pern story centered around the kitchen staff of Fort Weyr is percolating somewhere in the back of my mind.

Patagonia, the Hard Way : The Princess Bride/Kim Possible crossover. SHELVED due to unresolved plot conflicts. a Princess Bride/Kim Possible crossover about Inigo finding a suitable candidate to carry on the fine name of the Dread Pirate Roberts.

It's All In Your Mind: Kim Possible. Shego put Kim in a coma and Anne Possible is out for revenge. Anne might not know sixteen kinds of kung-fu, but she knows exaclty where the pain centers are located in the brain. This is a very dark concept and I probably won't write it but 'List of Romantics' planted a notion in my head and it reminded me of a Mrs Dr P quote from a 'King in Yellow' fic and now it won't go away.

The Lord is My Shepard: Mass Effect. Liara faces the challenges of raising a hero's daughter with a little help from a very unexpected source. A Mass Effect story set post Reaper War. (Control Ending)

motto-

Human beings are designed to be inquisitive; it is our sacred duty to eff the ineffible.

Quotable quotes:

"The Venn Diagram of 'boys who don't like smart girls' and 'boys you don't want to date,' is a circle."
-John Green

"Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as the Prohibition of alcohol did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on Earth."
-Will Rogers

"I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior."
-Hippolyte Taine

"The folks atop the ladder are the ones the world adores. Boost me up my ladder, kid, and I'll boost you up your's!"
-Matron "Momma" Morton

"Whatever it is, I'm against it!"
-Professor Quincy Adams Wagstaff

"Ray, when someone asks you if you're a god, you... say... 'YES!'"
-Winston Zeddmoore

"I don't do cakes... I don't bake 'em. I don't jump out of them."
-Shego

"This is my 'Timey-Wimey' detector. It goes Ding when there's stuff."
-The Doctor

"I died saving Clara. The rest of you just got lucky."
-Danny Pink

"Well, I used to be bad when I was a kid, but ever since then, I've gone straight. As you can tell by my record: twenty-three arrests and no convictions."
-Big Julie

"Optimists, romantics, and devotees of Star Trek like to believe the deadliest enemies with the most turbulent histories can come together, learn to understand one other, and live in harmony and peace. What these three groups have in common is limited experience with the French."
-Alfred Pennyworth (from Chris Dee's Cat-Tales Story: "Something Old.")

"Our unifying theme is 'We are all awesome.' You know the part of the movie where there's this giant explosion in the background and the heroes walk in slow motion away from it as the music swells? Well, we don't do that. That's too cliched. But we could totally pull it off if we wanted to."
-David Willis

Completed Stories-
Just scroll down, they'll have the word "complete" in the description.