My pen-name speaks volumes.

What to say... all Oregairu girls are top tier waifus?

Enjoy my stories, I guess.

Thus, My Fanfiction Philosophy Is As Follows:

1. If someone has written about your idea before, then it's not worth writing about. Kinda applies to all writing, but especially with fanfic.

2. Imo, fanfiction is a place where people should put the characters in new/different situations, and explore them in different ways. This leads me to the next point.

3. Canon replication can only be so interesting. There's always a place for it, and some canon replica stories can be great fun and/or very satisfying reads, but too much of it and things get dull very quickly. I guess this kinda links to the first point: if you're just replicating canon, then you're only writing someone else's idea.

4. Writing in-character is good, but interpreting a character differently isn't inherently bad. OOCness is only cancerous when the characters are in a situation typical to the original series. If the situation is different, then imo, it's free game. Even characters we know very well can be expected to react differently (within reason, of course).

My General Musings on Oregairu Are Unnecessary, as Expected:

As an obsessive fan, I sometimes find myself contemplating themes and characters in the series in a way that cannot be expressed through fanfiction. I shall publish said contemplations here, which by the way are totally pointless and meandering. You're under absolutely no obligation to read them, as they were penned entirely for my own self indulgence.

Entry 1: 11th June 2018

Yukinoshita Yukino/Western Perceptions of Light Novels and Anime

I'm sure that everyone here, considering the fact we all enjoy reading or writing fanfictions (and probably regular novels as well), has heard the phrase 'Show, not tell' at some point or other. I certainly remember my old teachers constantly harking back to it in literature classes- they'd say something like 'A good writer will leave clues in their writing' or 'A bad writer doesn't know how to leave clues, so just tells them'. Personally, I've always felt a little skeptical over such statements. For example, there are some instances where telling the audience something outright is actually a whole lot more effective than leaving it to inference. Exposition is required to move any plot along, and is basically mandatory in all forms of fiction.

However, there is undeniably an inherent intrigue in a story that has a good mystery to it. Why else do so many people enjoy reading thrillers and murder mysteries? As a species, we're absolutely obsessed with the pretence of knowledge, and when we lack knowledge on a subject, even if said subject is fictional, it drives us crazy. That's why we keep coming back to read more. I'd also admit that authors who leave details to their audience's imagination are probably a little more skilled than authors that don't, or at the very least have a bit more subtlety.

Another quirk of human nature is the negative connotations that accompany the idea of ignorance. Ignorance is basically another word for not knowing something, so surely it's a little harsh to judge someone for being ignorant when they probably just don't know any better. Having said that, there's a thin line between ignorance and prejudice. When people don't know something, they have a habit of arrogantly making the assumption that this something is unworthy of their attention since they haven't heard of it thus far, and proceed to turn their noses up as a result.

For example, as a Westerner whose most prominent interest is writing, I'm often asked what my favourite book(s) is/are. It infuriates me that I can't be honest with them and say Oregairu, because the majority of them won't know what a light novel is, let alone what Oregairu is. Plus, on the few occasions I have been honest about my preference, people have looked at me strangely and said something retarded like, 'That sounds kinda Japanese...?'.

Seriously. That's the kind of world we live in: where the quality of media is apparently pre-determined by genre and the culture it originated from.

Either way, a good example of 'show not tell' can be seen in the character of Yukinoshita Yukino.

I've always thought one of the biggest themes of Oregairu is identity. It's probably fitting that this should be so, since this is a light novel series which serves as a light-hearted romantic comedy while also being a whole lot more subversive than that simultaneously. When we first meet the character of Yukino, we meet her through the biased gaze of Hachiman, as we do every character in the series. As this is the case through the entire saga, it's interesting to think that the way we interpret the characters could be false, since there's no way of knowing Hachiman's interpretation is a hundred percent reliable, despite the fact he's portrayed as a 'see through all the bullshit' kind of guy.

He does, after all, end up being misjudged in his intial impression of Yukino. He thinks that she is a 'strong girl', thus falling for the facade that she has crafted for herself. The same type of facade that he claims to be so adamantly opposed to.

In reality, it is gradually revealed that Yukino is a whole lot more complex than that. Before I go any further, I'd like to point out that one of the most awesome things about Oregairu is how every fan seems to have a different interpretation of every character. You might totally disagree with how I read Yukino just because of the nature of the writing, but I've always found it interesting to read about other people's opinions, even if we totally disagree.

A lot is made of how Yukinoshita isn't a strong girl by Hachiman, after his realisation that he was 'wrong' about her and how he'd inadvertently burdened her with his assumptions. I don't think this is necessarily true- I think that Yukinoshita Yukino is a strong girl in some respects, though this isn't necessarily due to the strength of her own will. She's been forced to put up this image of a girl who is unbothered by the teasing of others because otherwise she'd probably have never recovered from the widespread bullying she received in middle/elementary school, and the abandonment of her only friend at the time, Hayato. Therefore, it would be natural to assume that she would have to be strong to rise above such treatment.

However, there's also a great many contradictions to this notion in the series. The most obvious is probably the whole 'Save me one day' thing she told Hachiman at Destinyland. This, as far as I'm concerned, is allowing us to infer that Yukino has been forced to be independent for the longest time and is only now seeing the benefit of friendship, and that she wishes for these fragile connections with Hachiman and Yuigahama to continue for as long as possible. Throughout the series, she becomes progressively more reliant on them, which is intriguing because the extent of this reliance is, at times, borderline needy. Just think of the moment where Hachiman suggests what she tell Haruno in order to inform her of the sleepover at Yui's house before the aquarium scene, and instead of paraphrasing it, as expected, she says it word for word.

I'd attribute this development in her character to the isolation and, for lack of a better phrase to describe it, emotional neglect from her family. In fact, her interactions with Haruno are amongst some of the most tense in the whole series. Yukino never had any authority in her family. She hates this, but has absolutely no means of changing it, and thus did the only thing that she could do in that situation- submit. Her almost pitiable subservience and helplessness towards her mother leads to Haruno accusing her of barely being a person at all- she never makes her own decisions (though not by choice) and is terrible at doing so when she tries. She lacks direction in her life, and despite being a high achiever has never been able to match her sister. Therefore, her role in the family is virtually nonexistent. She's almost on the same level as a bystander, and this leads to her most central identity crisis. If Yukinoshita Yukino does not have a future in her family, has no social prospects, and no ambitions other than a misguided pipe dream to 'change the world'... then what exactly is the point of Yukinoshita Yukino?

Therein lies the reason why she's one of the most endlessly intriguing, multi-faceted and three dimensional characters you'll ever read about. She has all these problems weighing her down, but Wataru Watari still seems to find the time to make her incredibly endearing. She's still only a naive, adolescent girl, after all- she's obsessed with cute cat videos and Pan-san plushies, just like how Hachiman is obsessed with light novels and manga. She continues to be shocked and flattered that Yuigahama, and to a lesser degree Hachiman, would consider making friends with her, and though she struggles to express this through words (another key theme in the light novels), it's expressed anyway in her adorable stammering and blushing alone.

In conclusion, Yukinoshita Yukino is on just about the highest tier of waifu one can achieve. I rest my case.

Entry 2: 21 June 2018

Hikigaya Hachiman (Oregairu as a whole) and Literary Escapism

To spend time thinking about a fictional character is, if you think about it, probably one of the most pointless exercises one can possibly indulge in. Consider the layers of illogicality involved- first of all, thinking about something in any regard opens up a whole philsophical debate in itself. Do our thoughts even really exist, if no one except ourselves can comprehend them and they have no physical state? Second of all, it is obvious that fictional characters themselves do not exist. They're the products of the nonexistent, intangible thoughts of someone else, that they just so happened to record on paper. So, by contemplating fictional characters, you're effectively thinking nonexistent thoughts about nonexistent characters that were themselves brought about by other nonexistent thoughts. That's three separate layers of nonexistence.

This makes the idea that a reader could possibly relate to a character, empathise/sympathise with them and have their emotions manipulated by their plight, seem all the more ridiculous. Why the heck should you care what happens in the life of someone who never even lived in the first place? Then again, I suppose the very fact that a story doesn't exist is precisely the point of it. For the most part, people read books, or watch films, or even read fanfictions, because they want to be transported to another place. Preferably, one more interesting than the one they're currenly inhabiting. But this, in itself, raises the question of why there's such a thing as literary realism. If you're reading a story about something other than the here and now, then effectively, you're escaping from it. So why would anyone want to read a story that imitated the life they were trying to escape from? You'd think that would defeat the point.

Then again... if it did defeat the point, then I don't suppose Oregairu, and by extension Hikigaya Hachiman, would have any fans.

Apart from escapism, literature or cinema or whatever form of media you want has another inherent purpose. That purpose is to teach. Not necessarily in a didactic way (not to say it can't be didactic- nursery rhymes, fairty tales etc), but to get across a message that changes your perception. Oregairu is clearly part of this grouping. Although it's usually classified as a romantic comedy (of sorts), there isn't really much actual romance in it at all, and though jokes are frequent there's also lots of scenes that are intended to be bittersweet/depressing rather than funny. It also definitely has a lot to say about social interaction, and the majority of these messages are conveyed via Hikigaya Hachiman.

What makes 8man such a great character? For the most part, it's obviously because he's entertaining. His monologues are engaging and humorous as well as full of profound insights and quotable lines. His personality itself is also very endearing. He's easy to root for. You want him to succeed in his social interactions and get annoyed when he doesn't, and cheer when he does (annoyingly the former happens much more often). The other aspect is just how god-damn fucking relatable he is. I can't think of a single fictional character I've ever felt as much affection for. By the time I'd finished all the published volumes, and watched all 26 (including OVAs) of the anime, it honestly felt like Hachiman and I were close childhood friends.

Having said that, there's also quite a lot of areas in which he's distinctly unrelatable. For the most part, I'd consider Hachiman to be something of an amplified version of myself. He's the kind of person that all of us could've turned out as if we'd been placed in similar circumstances to him. In fact, reading it back, what I just wrote is so true it's almost frightening. Hikigaya Hachiman is almost like the worst qualities in everyone, stuck together in a messed up lump, with a few good ones inbetween. He's arrogant and irritating and he makes stupid jokes, but he's also kind and self-depracating andd intelligent. Weirdly, you quickly come to love even the supposedly 'bad' sides of his persona.

It's also my personal opinion that the Oregairu light novels, quite possibly, have the greatest opening line in the history of fiction. And yes, I am biased.

I mean, just think about it- 'Youth is a lie. It is nothing but evil'. It literally tells you absolutely everything you need to know about the character, genre and events you're about to read of in 9 simple words. It's funny, while also being incredibly cynical and bitter. In other words, it's something of a short, one sentence encapsulation of Hachiman's character in its entirety. It's his mantra. His motto. The words he lives his life by. And it immediately hooks us to the page/screen because it's something so unspeakably pessimistic written with such honesty and integrity. We've all had pessimistic thoughts at some points in our lives, but nothing to the extent of that. And, as we come to learn, Hachiman has a whole lot more insight for us that's yet to come.

So yeah. Despite the seemingly unending stream of waifus that Wataru Watari has managed to come up with it, I think we all know who the best of them is. No homo, but I seriously love you, man. Have a metaphorical bro-fist.

Entry 3: 2nd July 2018

Thoughts On Who Hachiman Would, Could and Should End Up With

Since Oregairu is, despite its host of other combining genre influences, predominantly a romantic comedy and also a light novel/anime, it's basically obligatory that it should have a whole erray of female characters to 'compete' (though they all do a pretty terrible job of doing so) for our protagonist's affections. And, since they're all decidedly amazing in every way, the best girl debate is probably even more prominent in the Oregairu fandom than any other. This isn't intended to add my two cents to that argument- due to their before stated awesomeness, I find it impossible to determine my favourite. But, I do have thoughts on who Hachiman would be most likely, and indeed who would be the most realistic, for him to get together with. After much thinking, I've decided on three categories to properly express these thoughts.

1. Who Hachiman Would End Up With

Basically, this is who I think Hachiman would, in a ideal world, most want to end up with. Disregarding all complicating events in the series, I think it's pretty obvious who Hachiman holds the most affection for, and probably who he actually has a crush on. The answer to that is Yukinoshita Yukino.

Something that I find most surprising about other fan's opinions on Oregairu is the contrast in how much people like, or dislike, Yukino. For example, some people think she's absolutely the best girl in the series and don't even want to hear about 8man ending up with anyone else. Then, there's the opposite side of the coin; namely, people who absolutely hate Yukino, and would apparently prefer that she got killed off in the next volume that Wataru Watari (eventually... like geez this guy is slow) releases than instigate a romantic relationship with 8man. Personally, I'm somewhere inbetween. Since I wrote a tonne of paragraphs in my first entry about her, I evidently find her to be endlessly intriguing and complex, but I'm not convinced she'd necessarily be the best choice for Hachiman (as I'll elaborate on later).

However, even the most set-in-their-ways Yukino hater can't deny that the series seems to be slowly, inexorably, following the Yukino route. I mean, one cannot watch the scene in the infirmary where they nearly kiss and claim that there isn't any chemistry between them, and it seems obvious to me that Yukino is Watari's personal preference. Think about it- she was the first girl to be introduced in the very first volume, and it's explicitly stated throughout that he thinks she's incredibly beautiful. Also, if we're doing an 8man and being a monster of logic, it's only really plausible that our protagonist would get together with Yukino or Yui anyway, since they're the main girls and receive by quite some distance the most character development.

But, meta issues regarding the writing and inevitabilities nonwithstanding, I honestly don't think that a relationship between Hachiman and Yukino would be functional. In fact, I'd go as far to say that they'd actually be very dysfunctional. My primary reason for this belief is that, even though they also share a lot of banter and intimate emotional moments, they bicker and argue constantly. Both of them are too pedantic and set in their ways to ever agree on something fully, and though one could make the argument that being in a relationship would change their mindset and force them to compromise with each other, I'm not sure such a relationship would ever be genuine. It would always have a semblance of bitterness and regret to it. Of course, this is also just speculation, and there's no concrete reason to suggest it wouldn't work. They're both very intelligent people- if they really tried, they could probably find a solution. Overall, I almost think they're just a little bit too similar.

As a result, though I can say with some certainty there's also no chance of it happening, there's a couple of girls who I think he'd be better off with. I'll come to them later. Once again, I'd just like to stress that this isn't me claiming that those girls are necessarily better or worse. I just think they'd be the best for Hachiman from a neutral standpoint.

2. Who Hachiman Could End Up With

This section is my attempt to narrow down the girls that Hachiman could actually end up with, highlighting the female characters for which a relationship wouldn't be possible.

Yukino- possible, but barely, considering the conflict in their personalities, or rather similarities.

Yui- possible.

Miura- impossible, because of her affections for Hayato.

Orimoto- impossible, for obvious reasons.

Iroha- possible, but personally, I feel like he'd be put off by how close her personality is to Komachi's.

Kawasaki- possible, but unlikely.

Shizuka- impossible, again for obvious reasons.

Totsuka- impossible, but not for lack of want. On both sides, it seems.

Haruno- probably impossible, but situations could change, I guess.

No One- very possible, but no one wants that.

3. Who Hachiman Should End Up With

This category is on who I think would be best for 8man in terms of personality, and how they'd compliment each other in a relationship. There are, loosely, about four genuinely forseeable options for him- Yukino, Yui, Kawasaki and Iroha. I'd cross out Yukino and Iroha for the reasons that I've already explained, thus leaving us with, in my eyes, the best girls for Hachiman. Yui and Kawasaki.

Yui is, all in all, a safe bet. Despite all his misgivings concerning her 'nice girl' nature, it's becoming more and more apparent that she isn't really as one dimensional as he initially thought she was. This is, ironically, why I think they'd work together. Her and Hachiman already get along well enough- most of the complications in the Service Club come as a result of 8man and Yukino's bickering- and although their different social situations would be an issue, it wouldn't be an impossible one to work around. In addition, they both have a clear determination to make a (friendship) relationship between them work as it is. On the other hand much is made about Yui not caring about the 'genuine' ideal, and an 8man in the canon state wouldn't even consider a relationship with her as a result. In other words, this is a relationship that I believe would have a chance of working out, if (similar to HachiYuki rly) the characters were willing to compromise on some of their ideals.

That leaves us with Kawasaki. Perhaps it's a little controversial, but it's my opinion that a relationship with 8man and her would progress pretty smoothly. Much smoother than one with Yukino, Yui or anyone else, anyway. If you think about it, they already have an excellent understanding of each other, and sympathise with each other's loner status. They'd be perfectly capable of respecting each other's boundaries, and their personalities aren't too similar for it to be a problem. Hachiman has speculated that he admires the way she cares and takes responsibility for her family, being almost maternal at times. She, in turn, respects, his integrity and reliability, and I became convinced in the second anime season and light novel volume 9, I think, that she already has feelings for him. Though they aren't mutual yet, due to his Service Club preoccupation, I certainly think that they could be.

So there you have it. A conclusive solution to Hachiman's love dilemmas.

Well... it isn't really that conclusive. At all. It probably wasn't even very well explained but, but I gave it my best shot.

Other Fanfics I Enjoyed Are Listed Here, Conveniently, And In No Particular Order:

The End of the Affair by Frog-kun. This is probs the best written fic in the fandom, making up for where his vision of the cast's future is problematic.

Cohabitation by Gossu. Their best fic imo, but all their work is amazing.

Anything by Arbitrary Escape, but I have special place in my heart for Consequent Coincidence.

My Adolescent Romantic Comedy Is Wrong As I Had Logically Proven by SnowPlow. The definitive take on Yukino's POV, and perhaps one of the most important Oregairu fics.

In Other Words, I Think You Should Read These:

1. Anything by British/Japanese writer Kazuo Ishiguro. Though Remains of the Day and Never Let Me Go are his most famous (and also fantastic), I would also suggest The Unconsoled, one of my favourite books, and A Pale View of Hills.

2. Anything by Ray Bradbury, but in particular the short stories like The Fog Horn, as in that structure he's a master.

2. Most things by Haruki Murukami. I'm not the biggest fan, as he explores similar themes and character types in his books which often get a bit repetitive, but at his best he's a revelation. Norwegian Wood clearly influenced Wataru Watari imo, and The Wind Up Bird Chronicle is glorious.

3. The Woman in the Dunes by Kobo Abe. I strongly suggest both the book and its fantastic film adaptation.

My (Main) Fanfictions Are Also Listed Here, Conveniently:

As dumb as the longwinded title above is, you probably get the idea.

Our Wedding Anniversary is Wrong, Unexpectedly- my attempt at the whole post-Sobu High cliche. Contains lots of adult angst and outlandish plot twists. Very much my first fanfiction (inexperience shows in plotting and writing, which is VERY raw).

Thus, The Service Club Continues to Deny- a collection of fluffy oneshots featuring the Oregairu cast with a few forced jokes here and there, because some of us need that sort've thing.

Love and Coffee- an experimental fanfic on the career of 8man as a light novelist. My inspiration is pretty low on this one so if you couldn't tell from the lack of updates alone, then it's on an indefinite hiatus. If you're interested in reading more from this story's world, look no further than Love and Coffee: An Interview.

Broken Glass- another experimental fanfic, this time playing around with the murder mystery genre, where Hachiman investigates the murder of Hayato at Miura's birthday party. Probably my most accomplished story so far. BEING REWRITTEN

Shattered Memories- a sequel to Broken Glass featuring an old and grief-ridden Komachi. The most challenging fanfiction I've had to write so far, but nonetheless an extremely enjoyable one. Updates are taking time, so I apologise to those reading that one.

While the Snow Fell- a grounded and realistic (imo) take on a relationship between Yukino and Hachiman, and how it would (also imo) inevitably fail, much to the chagrin of my own sentimentality. Again, updates are slow: I find writing fluff that isn't mawkish quite difficult, and there are several patterns and motifs in the writing that require a lot of thought, in addition to the changing POV and time periods.

A Name and Nothing More- an abstract story about 'the woman', who is essentially amnesiac Yukino, wandering around a surreal version of Tokyo. So far this has been one of my most rewarding fics to write and a fun challenge; the task of capturing Yukino's fractured mind and memories, as well as the tonal contrast between the humour and the more serious/existential aspects, has really fascinated me.

The Flicker of the Streetlights- a story told by Hachiman looking back on an experience that, for lack of a better word, is haunting him. Essentially a ghost story, but not a horror piece. Unsettling, but not frightening. In truth, it's a story about love, the difference between love and obsession, and the value of a person's happiness.

The Projects That I Am Writing/Considering, Preliminarily:

An extended Miku/Fuutarou- there aren't any of those in the Quintuplets fandom and that kills me inside, so I suppose changing that is a new aim in my life.