About me: Well, there’s not much to know (or at least not much I’m willing to divulge). I’m female, Canadian, and too young to be old and too old to be young. Other than that, I am most certainly not your girl next door with all her sweetness and pretty pink bows (I despise the color pink. The reasons elude me, but I’m sure there is one). I tend to be flamboyant and flirtatious when in a crowd, despite the fact that I am also prone to being rather shy in unfamiliar surroundings (I think this is more a tribute to my own stubbornness as to not allow myself to give in to trepidation). But when I’m in a calmer mood, and enjoying the peace and quiet of my home, there’s nothing I like more than reading, writing, and indulging on my anime obsession. I’m playful and tend to laugh easily, and have no qualms about saying things out loud that most people would tend to keep to themselves. But along with this I also have a quick temper, but when I am truly angry I rarely let it manifest and tend to convey my displeasure with cold, measured words rather than the heated quips of my more playful rage. And lastly, which should be painfully obvious by now, I have a tendency to ramble when I get going on something that interests me or if I just get distracted and forget that it’s not the time for rambling. But it’s not all bad, because if it weren’t for my tendency to draw out my thoughts and be able to convey them into words, then there would have never been any stories written by these fingers.

Why I write Fanfiction: Because I read so bloody damn much of it that I figured I was due for putting in some work of my own. Well, that, and then there was always the fact that my pesky imagination kept nagging at me with ideas that wouldn’t leave me alone until I put them to paper…errr…computer. And, of course, it’s an addiction that I just can’t seem to bring myself to give up. Inuyasha fanfiction is the only genre that I read or write (though there may be a possibility in the future for me to do a crossover with Bleach…but that’s only if I continue liking what I’m seeing in the anime). Why have I never gone to any other genres? I don’t really have an answer to that. I watch all sorts of anime and even read the occasional magna, but Inuyasha was the only one that captured me so completely that I actively sought out more to fulfill the needs of this obsession.

My Experiment: Ah, My Experiment. What a piece of work that was. I know I said I’d update the story and give these explanations there, but, whatever, here they are. This was not my first lengthy story. Actually, it was my second attempt at writing a story. The first didn’t go over very well (and now is in a dusty old folder in my computer waiting for me to decided whether to delete it forever or make a go at rewriting it), and I was left to wonder why. So, as a way to discover the ways that fanfiction differed from other forms of story writing and to appease that annoying little voice in my head that told me these theories it kept coming up with would actually work, I wrote this story.

Theory #1: Description is unnecessary.

It may sound strange, but never once was I called on this obvious lack. The first 10 chapters or so I actually forced myself NOT to describe the scenery or the characters to any extent and covered the lack by Kagome’s inner ramblings. I had thought that since I so often skipped over descriptions of the room Kagome had ended up in when arriving at Sesshomaru's palace (there are only so many you can read before getting repetitive), that no one would mind if I just left them out completely. So, where I wanted to give a paragraph or two to describe what Kagome was seeing because that’s what I was used to in the books I usually read, I chopped it down to only a few lines if I gave anything at all.

Theory #2: No one cares if you can’t spell (My friends in the English department would kill me if they knew I said that!)

What? It’s fanfiction! Mind you, I did get many offers for a beta (muchly appreciated, but thanks anyways, I’m good with my errors). I know I said my spellchecker went out in the third chapter (a truth, really) but I could have fixed the chapter before I posted, I just didn’t. Don’t get me wrong, it is terribly annoying (and not to mention against the guidelines of this site) if every other word is wrong, but a few here and there goes by with few if any comments (unless you’re trying to describe something so friggin obviously wrong. A ball is round! I know that!).

Theory #3: Funny is good every time…especially if you’re putting a character in a situation that they really, REALLY shouldn’t be in (Green goop + 1 popsicle of a demon lord = me laughing my ass off…at work! Thank you so much you fickle, fickle muses!)

Theory #4: No matter how much people complain about cliffs, they truly do like them.

Yup, the number of reviews almost doubles. If that’s not reason enough I don’t know what is.

Theory #5: A product of a class taken last year…Closed-ended questions (a,b,c,d) will produce more results that open-ended (blanks).

This one was my favorite. The ‘Fluffiness Scale’ wasn’t just to test the fluff content of the chapter (the most common vote was a 2, by the way. People overall enjoyed the fluff. And, sad as it is, I didn’t get a single vote saying that the fluff was a steaming pile of mushy droppings). Giving options to choose actually increases the number of responses by a substantial amount (and, for the most part, people can’t resist leaving a comment if they open the screen to type a letter or number). You must be careful with this on FFN though because of their policy against interactive fanfiction.

Random stuff:

I actually kept track of the stats, so I’m not spouting nonsense…well, not complete nonsense anyways…more like educated nonsense.

Frequent updates are really appreciated, but if you want more reviews the best interval for updates is every three days.

I never rewrote anything. When I said ‘Such Is the way of My Experiment’ I was referring to this. I have seen may times authors say that they rewrote a chapter multiple times to get it right, and though I respect them for their dedication, I don’t really see the point of it. Unless you’re a pro (which, let’s face it, not very many of us posting on this site are or aspire to be) if it was good enough to write, it is likely good enough to read. Oh yes, fix your sp/gr errors and fill in spaces that need better wording or description if necessary, but don’t put yourself through the hassles of redoing a whole chapter (a story when it’s finished…well, that’s a horse of a different color). As far as I’m concerned it just ain’t worth it.

Yes, I really was experimenting on my readers. BUT I did tell you that at the beginning and you still all read it, didn’t you? So it was your own doing that you got caught up in My Experiment.

I actually made you learn something while reading for pleasure. How sick is that? But in doing so I was able to get across to some extent that learning can be fun and that the science which I so love is not all textbooks and lab reports.

And this one’s the best. ‘My Experiment’ recieved 2nd place for Best Comedy in the IYFG 3rd Q 2006 awards. I'm still laughing about that one, by the way. But thank you so much to everyone that thought enough of my story to both nominate it and vote for it in the polls.

Tears of the Fallen: Well, after learning so much from ‘My Experiment’, I thought I’d give a go at my normal writing style once again only with a few modifications based on my discoveries. Don’t worry, I’m not experimenting anymore, and this one really is meant to be a story for the sake of a story. There is that little bit about the theme of the story that seems a hot topic that I think I should elaborate on. I do end every chapter with tears of some sort, but my initial inspiration for this came from the very first chapter. I had though that it would be an original way to end the chapters as well as a good way to give the feeling of an ‘ending’ when reading each separate chapter being that they are posted separately. Also, it is my belief that some sort of consistency is needed in a story that plays so much on the inconsistencies of time and the confusion of the temporal paradox I have chosen as my main topic.

And it is my great pleasure to announce that Tears of the Fallen recieved third place in both the Action and Adventure as well as the Best Romance: Alt Pairing categories in the IYFG 4th quater 2006 polls.

Also, in the 2007 A Singl Spark Awards, Tears recieved distinctions in Best Romance, Best Action/Adventure, Best Kagome Potrayal, and Best Overall. For the 2008 ASS Awards, Tears took home first for best Angst/Drama

Thank you everyone who nominated and voted for this story. Shadow is ever grateful for your support.

Now, thanks to the wonderfully talented LadyShieru, Tears can be seen in Doujin form. Please show your support to the wonderfully dedicated artist that has given her time to give this story a new life.

Chapter 1

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Sins of the Father: I never would have thought that writing this story would have gotten me up to my elbows in discontent. Though, thankfully, the readers on FFN have been much more plesant than those on ASS in regards to this. But still, i have gotten some rather angry reviews from both sites. So, since I'm too lazy to write this again, I am posting a response that I sent to a concerned reader (yes, concerned, not angry or flaming or disrespectful; but concerned.)

Greetings and salutations. Heh, sorry I’ve always wanted to say that. I’m responding to your review, something that I am not usually inclined to do. However, it seems that this story, SotF, is creating quite the stir and I’ve been getting more…ahem…opinionated reviews than I do believe I’ve ever gotten before (and that would include all the reviews from every story I’ve ever written). But, being that you managed to voice your concerns without pissing me off (quite the feat after everything I’ve put up with so far with this story, let me tell ya ;P); I decided that I should send you a message.

It is likely that I will be confirming your suspicions or hesitations or whatever with the intended plot, and I won’t attempt to make little of your particular beliefs. I will, however, give you some of my reasoning behind the story in hopes that you will be able to continue enjoying it. If I can’t accomplish this, then no worries, I suppose, simply a difference of opinion, and I can respect that.

Yes, Kagome was with Toga. But her time with him was very short. She never claimed to love him or anything of the sort. She respected him for his power, his presence, the things she knew he had done and accomplished in his life, and she was given a new respect for him in his manner, in the way he treated her throughout their interactions. She also felt as though she could trust him. He had saved her from a terrible fate, treated her when she was injured, and held himself back from his own darker urges, his instincts as a youkai (which she knows are far different from a mortals). So, for these things, she felt as though she could put enough faith in him to do something that, given any normal circumstance, she wouldn’t have done, so that they could both find a way back to their rightful places. I saw it as a willful act, one driven by need and supported by respect and trust. Though, of course, the trust between them was delicate, and Toga’s silence about the consequences was, indeed, his sin against her.

That brings us to point number two. Yes, Kagome is going to have Toga’s child. And yes, technically that child would be Sesshomaru’s half-sibling. However, I would ask you to keep in mind that Sesshomaru isn’t a child. He is a fully grown youkai who has long ago taken up his father’s presence in the lands. In the time they are in now, Toga is dead, while in the time Kagome had come from in her meeting with him, he was still quite young. I know it is a lot to grasp, but the way I look at it, it seems to me that, given both Sesshomaru and Toga would be of approximately the same age from Kagome’s perspective due to the unusual circumstances, they would seem more like brothers than father and son.

Of course, surely you would also like point out Sesshomaru’s perspective, as he is seeing Kagome now as his father’s mate. However, I quite often use true aspects of K-9 behaviorisms to direct my stories given the close relation of these particular youkai. In pack life, the alpha pair of the group are often the only ones that produce offspring. If the alpha male is killed or replaced by another male, that male will take up position with the alpha female as there is an independent reason why she, above all other females of the pack, is in such a position: namely, power, presence, fertility, and social standing. But, if this argument isn’t to your taste, that is not the only reason I have chosen to write this story as I have.

I believe, that for Sesshomaru to step up and take care of his father’s mate because of her ‘delicate’ (heh, I’ve always hated that description of pregnancy) condition (and there is a reason for the necessity of this that I haven’t gotten to yet, but even from a normal perspective the gist is there), is a very noble thing to do. He is reluctant to do it though, hence his alterations in his plans regarding Inuyasha. He doesn’t want to care for Kagome, but he doesn’t want her left undefended either, and he knows that Inuyasha is, at least passably, capable of doing this. I think that for him to take on such a responsibility is honorable, decent, and respectable. But then, it is not here that lies the problem, ne?

The most debated part of this piece is the fact that it is truly a Sess/Kags fic. But, like all other Sess/Kags fics, there are barriers that have to be overcome for them to be together. Of course, given how much I am apparently a sucker for punishment, I like to take the most difficult routs to see this done. I understand that some people are affronted by the ‘incestuous’ innuendo, but keep in mind that there have been several fics that have had Kags partner with Inuyasha before ever contemplating being with Sess, and moreso, there is almost always the fact that Kags has deeply engrained feelings for Inuyasha to overcome before such a thing could happen. Like I said before, Kagome was NOT in love with Toga, she was simply reacting as the situation demanded, placing her trust in him and her faith in hopes to overcome the difficulties that they had been presented with by being stranded in an unfamiliar time.

There is also the fact that Sesshomaru and Kagome have known each other for three years, something that I have been trying to make forefront in their exchanges, especially from Sesshomaru’s standpoint. He is having difficulties with this situation, not simply because Kagome is his father’s mate or that she is pregnant with his child, but because she is she. He is trying, though without success, to ignore the fact that he does see her differently from other humans. He thinks of her often, is angered by the idea that she has been intimate with another, grants her a reprieve when he is confronted with the thought that she had reacted in fear due to a dishonorable act against her, and holds her in high enough regards for him to think to explain his reasoning to her and to expect that she would be able to understand it with only moderate resistance. He respects her, to put it plainly. And from this, he is finding himself more and more intrigued by her, taking notice of her actions and her reactions, and even finding himself entertaining thoughts that, while currently believing them to be wrong, are the beginnings for him to see that whatever his biases towards humans, Kagome is different, not just because of who she is, but because of how she affects him.

But, of course, being this is a Sess/Kags fic, there needed to be a reason for them to get together. And I’m so tired of seeing the clichés that are out there. Unless I write a fic solely dedicated to poking fun at these moments, don’t expect to find Kags devastated by seeing Inuyasha and Kikyo together, Rin falling ill and needing Kagome’s advanced medicine or a nanny or a tutor, Sesshomaru being found wounded by a wandering Kags, or a bastard hanyou Inuyasha going crazy and trying to rape/maim/kill Kagome and her running to Sesshomaru for help/training/protection/revenge; in one of my stories.

So, there you go; my reasons, or at least some of them. I hope that this helps. If not, that’s ok too. Like I said, if you don’t like it, I’m not going to knock you for your beliefs. I’m just glad that you managed to voice you concerns without being rude, crude, demanding, demoralizing, or just plain stupid (sorry, that one had to be said. My most recent flame of ranting proportions involved someone who apparently doesn’t know what a dictionary is for and accused me of not being aware of the definition of modesty. Excuse me? But I’m pretty sure that to be modest simply means that you are not vein or that you are outwardly shy. But I am all but certain that being shy or holding your tongue to refrain from boasting everything to the world, does not imply that inwardly said person is incapable of having errant thoughts that would effectively contradict said persona, and hence, cause an outward reaction of embarrassment or…yup, you got it, more modesty.)

Ahem…well…that’s enough of my ranting. Heh, looks like you got a whole chapter’s worth of my writing to yourself. Now, lets just hope I can manage to get that actual chapter finished in time ;P

Cheers

Shadow

Love...Has Nothing to do With This: follow the link to find a happy lemon ;P

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Vying for Dominance:

I can't even express how happily grateful I am for all the support and recognition this story has recieved. Thank you everyone for your reviews, nominations, and votes. The unending support that I recieve from my readers is what keeps me coming back to fanfiction time and again.

2008 A Single Spark Awards:

VfD recieved first for best Action/Adventure, second for best Kagome potrayal and best Sesshomaru potrayal, and third for best Overall.

Dokuga Awards:

First Quarter: Best lemonfic
Second Quarter: Best Cannon, Best Kagome Potrayal, Best Sesshomaru Potrayal, and second for Best Action/Adventure

Chapter 8 link.

On A Single Spark:

On MediaMiner:

The Assassin's Seduction

Readers Beware. This is a highly graphic, rather depraved, piece of self-indulgence. XXX. Extreme foul language and explicit secual situations. So please, if you are not of viewing age, or have tendencies to be easily corrupted, please, avert your eyes. Shadow has falen beyond the gutter into the realm of no return. For those of you who would like to rise to the challenge to sink as low as I have, I only have one thing to say...we are all perverts ans should be punished for our naughty, naughty ways XD. Oh, but I do hope you enjoy youselves..really, really enjoy yourselves. Because I know that if anyone makes it thorugh this piece without feeling the fire in it, then you're not human!

On A Sinlge Spark

On MediaMiner

Notes:

I write when I’m inspired. Inspiration for me can come from anywhere, and what it produces is a mystery to me even when I’m writing it. So, every now and then, you’ll find a short story or a poem or some other tidbit being presented courtesy of my imagination. But I’m a fast writer and have far too much free time on my hands, so these shorts usually don’t interfere too much with the updates of the longer stories I’m writing.

I think that ‘Tears of the Fallen’ will be my last long fic. I really don’t think it’s healthy for me to spend so much time writing these stories. But for now, I’m quite content to keep going as I am. Only time will tell how things go once it’s over.

And lastly, BEWARE the run-on sentence. I am horrible for these things. I can’t seem to finish a thought in a properly sized sentence, so I don’t! But I do try to keep my grammar in check, so they’ll only pop up on occasion when I just can’t force myself to correct them.

Well, that’s all for the ‘New and Improved’ profile.

ShadowsWeaver1