So, I have never read the Odyssey before – I have heard it through references made in television shows, but I never read the poem. Nevertheless, the way that you went about depicting the aftermath of the Trojan War and the soldier’s departure from Troy made me realize early on that canon blindness should not matter.

What I can talk about, however, is the sestina – after a quick wiki search, I caught on to the flow – that is displayed before me. I have read poems before, but never one like this; your sestina flowed elegantly throughout the whole piece. The six words you chose to be your end-words – last, strong, men, return, craft, and home – helped portray a sense of realness while reading, as each stanza spoke of the soldiers struggling within their ten year journey back to Ithaca.

If there is one thing that I can praise you countless times over, it is the flow from your end-word within a new stanza. Though each line is different, it still connects. With “home,” it’s a sense of reunion – to be with their loved ones away from the battlefield, but the journey back is long and painful for all parties involved. With “craft,” Odysseus had plans to make a safe trip home, until those plans were floundered. So on and so forth, each end-word illustrates a little thread that when looped all together makes this strong sestina something amazing.

In terms of SPAG, besides the excellent formatting of the sestina, I found no errors within the poem; kudos to you on that! Overall, I truly enjoyed reading this style of poetry, as you have a knack to tell a story the way you did and for it to all come together in the end is, once again, remarkable to say the least. Added to my favorites list – kudos once more. Thanks for writing this, and happy writing to you in the near future! :)

I had not heard of a sestina before now :o Curiosity piqued, I looked it up before cracking open your work proper. Learn something new every day :) That said, I think a proper poem was a very aesthetically pleasing choice and uniquely suited to your piece. My honest first impression after seeing your poem load was that line structure and visual flow was extremely reminiscent of the Illiad. (I never did get around to the Odyssey.)

"Traverse Poseidon's realm in flimsy craft." This line is absolutely adorable (I know, I know, probably not the effect you were going for, but it is :3) Poseidon's realm is exactly what those people thought of the sea as, so that just works perfect. Then paired with flimsy craft, I picture some barely sea-worthy boat of sorts that leaks and gets battered around like a beach ball. And it just makes me go "daww :D"

You've really sneaked in a ton of little words and phrases that create an atmosphere of legend. Hearth and home. Wives and kinfolk. Brave the tides. Wily lord. Unlooked-for perils. Haven safe.

All those small things just mount up together, working with the repetition of your ending lines to paint this lovely picture of a great trial. And yet, the men keep hoping, looking forward to those kinfolk, wives, and children until that hope becomes reality.

Lovely work :)

I have a fondness for structured poetry as I think it takes a lot of skill to not just make it work, but also to make it sound pleasing and have the plot make sense. And you succeed here on all three points.

Over all you do a good job of evoking the sense in this poem of things not quite ever going the way that one wanted it to. The war that held promise, but in hindsight feels like a mistake. They traveled too far, left too much behind, too many men died for as you said a poor return.

Then the poem shift as you that things have moved from more regret of past decisions to a complete and total loss of control in the present. That transition is evoked perfectly in your switch from calling the men soldiers to calling them victims. They are victims and it Poseidon, the sea and this strong malice that seems to rule their fates.

But the men never lose sight of their goal. You managed to show that through the repetitive use of the words wives, kinfolk and home so that we come to that finally word your readers know that the men are truly home and where they were meant to be.

In all, a nice poem that captures the spirit of human endurance quite well.

Most of what is published as poetry on FFnet is simply 'free verse' of the sort that I've never been able to value because it's all too easy to imitate - so it's a real pleasure to see someone tackling not only a strict form, but one of the most intricate verse-forms available... and not only meeting the challenge, but, as in all the best art, making the most of its restrictions to enhance the end result!

I suspect the most important part of writing any sestina is to select your end-words carefully so that they can bear different implications across the context of successive stanzas, and "craft" (with its echoes both of the Thousand Ships that sailed for Troy, and of Odysseus' wiliness and skilled hands) is the most obviously flexible here. I'm particularly struck by the way that you've managed to interpret the line "The wily lord Odysseus and his craft" in two completely contrasting meanings as it shifts from the last line to the first of the next stanza! But the other words (strong, last, men, return, home) have the same Homeric ring to them; just listing those six together more or less sums up the poem's tale in its entirety.

The other vocabulary chosen bears the same 'heroic' stamp: "hearth", "kinfolk", "breached", "fate", "malice", "haven". The whole idiom of the sestina is of a piece with its subject matter - yet it doesn't sound in the least forced, which is always one of the chief considerations when addressing a strict verse-form. There are a few poetic inversions ("other plans the god has for their craft", "much endure Odysseus' men") but very few even of these: the strict iambic metre and predetermined line endings are achieved within the natural flow of the language. The high proportion of single-syllable words and the exclusively masculine line termination also help to give the poem a bare, 'heroic' feel, though I don't know if this latter is by chance or by art :-)

I note that there's a fair bit of alliteration in there as well, some of it courtesy of standard formulae ("hearth and home", "winds and waves") and other examples located within lines ("siege/strong", "fighting finished", "Helen/hundreds", "swelling sails"). The one major effect which the sestina form naturally avoids is that of rhyme or even assonance, of course, though the echoing repetition of the endings tends to aim naturally in the same direction.

The repetition that I'm not sure about is the recurrence of "long" three times within as many lines in the third stanza ("so long"/"hard and long"/"at long last"). It's a shifting meaning, but it's not shifting all that much, and by the third occasion it starts to feel like an oversight rather than a deliberate ploy.
The other thing I'm not sure about is the comma after "return" in the sixth stanza where the sense of the text ("desiring a return to kinsmen, wives and children") would seem to demand an enjambement to the next line.

There is a certain irony to the wording of "noble sacrifices made by men" before the ships could depart, with the 'men' choosing to sacrifice the 'noble' Polyxena from among their war captives for the occasion! And as I recall the story, none of the Ithacans save Odysseus ever do "reach home", alas, with the perils (and their own greed) picking the crew off one by one...

As an "overview of the Odyssey" within the space of six stanzas this is an impressively elegant and deceptively simple result. I think it was definitely the right choice not to go into all the intervening narrative detail of the various adventures but to leave them in understated summary - also a venerable heroic tradition. And the one word that is notably absent from the entire poem, save in paraphrase ("tides and currents", "Poseidon's kingdom"), is one of the ruling concepts of the story (along with 'gods', also not specifically named): it is, of course, 'sea', and I'm assuming that that central absence is very definitely deliberate here!

A lovely, unusual and very remarkable piece of work.

This is lovely. It's extremely clever how you end the lines with the same words in every stanza, just with different order and sometimes meaning, and you are able to tell the entire story that way. And then repeating the last line of every stanza as the first line of the next... Masterful.
You use a strong iambic pentameter that flows beautifully; it was an excellent choice for meter. There were a couple places where the iambic pentameter wasn't quite right, though (and I know it's hard to do, as I've struggled with this before too.) The most prominent one is the first line, where you have what I believe is an anapestic foot and only nine syllables. Because the first line is in a different meter, I had a very hard time finding the rhythm at first. I did come up with one idea for improving it: "The warriors of the Greeks leave Troy at last." Just a suggestion. The other major place was "For ten long years they'll not see home," which is in iambic tetrameter; you need another foot in there somewhere.
One possible SPaG note: should "hellene" in the first stanza be capitalized?
Overall, masterful work; I'm very impressed. Well done!

Hi, I'm fandom blind about Odyssey, but I'll do my best to review!

I like the imagery and the usage of words here. 'Poseidon's realm' and 'Poseidon's kingdom' make effective similes to 'sea' without being exaggerating (which are just fitting to the setting, both to the war setting and Greek mythology). 'Flimsy craft' and 'sea-tossed band' are particularly effective in depicting the soldiers' struggle against the sea in their way home.

The depiction of the soldiers makes them sympathetic. They aren't just warriors; they also have a family, and they miss their family. The lines that refer to the warriors wanting to reunite with their kinsmen, wives, and children do very well in showing that quality of the warriors.

The rhythm of this poem is well done. I'm not sure if sestina works with iambic pentameter, but I notice that none of the line slips from that rhythm pattern. And it reads very nicely. Also, the rhythm just fits the setting, which is related to war.

Also, the ending wraps up the poem well with bittersweet and heartwarming feels. The warriors finally return, but not all of them make it, and the 'sea-tossed band' is especially heartwarming.

Well done!

Hiya! Here from RLT. This caught my interest cuz I read The Odyssey (and the Iliad) in high school Greek lit class.

I don't think I've ever read a sestina before, but I like how each stanza starts with the ending line of the previous one—it helps to neatly tie all the parts together and make it a cohesive read.

You clearly address the canon of The Odyssey, opening with how the end of the Trojan War has "tired" the lords and men who fought the battle and how their focus is now on seeking Poseidon's favor in order to have a safe way of going home. Next you turn your focus to Odysseus himself and his men. I would have liked a little more detail of the many issues Odysseus and company faced instead of it all being combined into a few lines but I gather you weren't going for that, so that is okay. You do state that "much" (was) endured (which is a mild way of putting it)!

I really like the last line as it is a great wrap-up—the Ithacans didn't just stop fighting in Troy, they kept on fighting because home was their goal and they weren't giving up, come hell or (Poseidon's) high water! And their strength is what got them home in the end.

SPAG:
In the third line, "Hellenes" should be capitalized.

Very nice work!

Hi, QTArbuthnot! Rhino here –hugs- I am completely fandom-blind for this poem, so please forgive any canon-related misunderstandings.
Waiting until the end of the first line to use the words ”at last” and then immediately starting the second line with “ten years” straight away immersed me in the marathon that was this event.
I was struck by the contrast between these men being “warring soldiers” who now “take little thought for aught but home”. This line reinforced to me that, no matter their time or place in history, there were still very much human and family as still extremely important to them. For this reason, I was saddened to find out that not all of them made it home. Knowing that Poseidon is the Greek god of the sea, and reading about “The winds and waves of fate” am presuming that a large part of their delay was due to storms.
I really appreciated the repetition of the last line of each verse at the first line of the next. This is a very effective way to both drive home your important points (family, sacrifice, the names of those in charge (the king Odysseus and the god Poseidon), and conflict), and help me as a reader remember where I am up to.
This was a succinct history lesson that taught me the basics of the Odyssey and has definitely interested me in learning more.

Hello there :) I wish I could say that I remember the events of The Odyssey, but alas, I do not. I shall try my best to not sound silly, though, and give thoughts that make sense!

[The warriors of Greece leave Troy at least] love the sense of relief and happiness that oozes from this opening line. Finally, ten years of fighting have come and gone and it's time to return home. I love how the men long for home and family, to return back to life as normal. A part of me cheers them on; go guys go!

Love the focus in the second section of returning home, come hell or (most likely literally) high water. Poseidon's potential blessing for a calm way home for their valiant efforts is hoped for certainly! I'm sure the men and their king are quite weary from fighting and anything that makes their way easier is welcomed indeed.

Oh yeah with this line here [For ten long years they'll not see home] I'm now beginning to remember some events of the story. Boo. Well, that's enough to rain on anyone's parade, I'll tell you what! So another ten years gone by before the men reach home. That ain't cool, but at least they get there in the end!

One of the things I love about this sestina is how it sums up the entire story of The Odyssey in a very easy to read, yet sophisticated narrative. Each word is carefully selected in order to tell the story in the least amount of time. Something tells me you worked a rather long time on this and your efforts, my dear writer, pay off greatly. Thank you for sharing this gem with us, you deserve many praises!

Greetings!

Wow, this is a lovely poem. It was hard for me to get into the rhythm, probably because I am not familiar with the sestina, but your imagery was outstanding.

"Poseidon's realm" is a great way to describe the sea. "The victims of a malice fierce and strong" also paints quite the mental picture. "Traverse in flimsy craft" is another great one. "The winds and waves of fate shall rule the men" is my favorite line. It's lovely personification, and, really, this one line sums up the entirety of the Iliad and the Odyssey!

I would really like to see a sequel to this where you detail the journeys of Odysseus. The tale of the Cyclops would make quite a poem!

TTFN, Puck

You know, I have a lot of respect for anyone who can write a sestina. You wrote a very good one, too. Nice job!

Warning: Fandom blinder

This is a very lovely piece of poetry you have written! I truly enjoy this one. The poet does flow, base on a theme and subject of going home. Also the fact that the Greeks are in the middle of war, having a reason to return home. The good and the bad fights and they fight for a reason. The reason for saving their kingdom and against the tyrant Odysseus.

I particularly love this paragraph of the poem here "The victims of a malice fierce and strong". I can envision this very clearly. It's like saying the moment the soldiers enter a battle, they are either an instant prey or an instant victim under the eyes of a tyrant. A very well put

This last line "Until, at last, the sea-tossed band reach home" Closing the subject of adventuring the soldiers from home to war and to tyrant and home kind of verse. )

Woah...this is lovely! I can't write any poetry...I have no idea what goes on in your head...but boy! This is pretty impressive. I just love the flow you have here.

I was smiling at the last part at the end, it just made me so happy.

I am sorta fandom blind but still I loved this! Very. Very lovely. Wait! This had no reviews before Edhla found it?! What?! Why?! This is awesome. Thank you so much for posting it!

Congrats on getting picked. :)

Wow. I'm not very familiar with poetry styles (I had to look up what a sestina was), but I really like this piece. I think this has a nice flow to it, and you did an amazing job with your structure of the poem.

Your lexical repetition throughout the piece felt natural and not forced (I didn't notice it much until I read through carefully the second time). I think you made a good choice with the end words that were repeated, since "strong, return, home, craft, men, and last" are words that have a lot to do with the Odyssey, especially "return" and "home". I also like that you had a little bit of characterization for Odysseus with the line: /The wily lord Odysseus, and his craft./ Of all the possible end line words, I think "craft" is an excellent one to associate with Odysseus, since his cunning trickery is part of what makes him such a fun hero. Now that I think about it, all the end words could easily be associated with Odysseus, which is fitting, since he's the main character.

Excellent job. I enjoyed reading this, and am in awe of your poetry-writing skills.

Until, at last, the sea-tossed band reach home.

I nearly cried over that line.

Damn. Just... damn. Poetry scares me, so when I see a piece like this, I just feel so small and insignificant. The words you chose to end each line, the lines you repeated yet had a different meaning each time; it all comes together to make this a beautiful work of art. Every time I read it, I discover something new. I'd like to emphasize the genius behind the things you repeated. It really puts a focus on the important things, all but ignoring their victory and only thinking about returning home. It's what a returning army thinks about, IMO.

Its very simple and expressive. I can't think of anything else to say. Just beautiful