Hey there, my name is Jasmine, but you can call me Skitty.

I write sometimes.

I like Warrior Cats, Pokemon, RC9GN, Rick and Morty, Gravity Falls, Undertale, Steven Universe, and Phineas and Ferb.

Nice to meet you!

Warriors Have Taught us These Things

Violence doesn't solve all problems, but it does solve some. And they should be solved very violently.

Cats can have accents.

Old people are funny.

If your girlfriend dies, the default response is to sleep with her sister.4

No matter how right you are, you're still wrong in some way.

Your logic doesn't have to make sense if you're angry enough.

Killing your half-brother solves all of your problems for 6-12 months.1

Having fangirls gives you the right to do virtually anything without being considered evil.1

There are no limits to how you can kill your own brother, half-brother included.

Casual racism is socially acceptable. More severe racism is less approved of, but still allowed. Only outright genocide crosses the line.

Most children in southern England will squeal when they see a cat.2

Good is cute, maybe handsome; Evil is sexy.

Highly organized colonies of feral cats have been living in the English countryside for over 60 years without being noticed by anyone.

Cats are really good at cleaning up massive bloodstains.

If you eat too much fish, your blood tastes fishy.

It's possible to complain about anything.2

The object that cats should fear the most is a purple pen.

All barn cats are weird.

Happy endings are completely unrealistic.1

No matter how depressed you get, there is always a way to become more crazy.

Plans that rely on the cooperation of others have a tendency not to work.

Gaining nine lives causes you to die nine times as frequently as everyone else.

Major antagonists have a tendency to die the most slow and violent deaths imaginable.1

Life: You don't win. You break even. At best.

The general public doesn't know anything. Anything. Yourself included.

The default response to being dumped by someone is to devote yourself to making them watch their family die slow, painful deaths.1

People named after plants tend to be red herrings. People named after animals are the real deal.2

Don't fight the system, no matter how messed up it is.

Stars are really the spirits of dead cats.1

Just because someone has gone to that dark place down under doesn't mean you don't have to deal with them anymore.

The width of someone's shoulders is a good indicator of how strong and experienced they are.

Don't mess with beavers.

Thunderstorms are inherently dramatic.

Someone is angry at you when clouds cover the moon.

Forbidden relationships happen about as often as socially legitimate ones.

Breaking the rules is bad. Bending the rules is good.

If you're ever near death or dying, you will survive anyway.

Most people would listen to Hitler if he was nice to them.1

If you start to see a red haze, stop what you are doing!

Lying is the most evil thing ever.

The happier your relationship, the more tragically it will end.1

People who secretly like you make the best evil minions.

It's possible to not notice that you are pregnant.5

If you try hard enough, you can be pregnant and give birth without anyone noticing.1

If you play with your food, an owl will come and eat you.

Incest doesn't count if it isn't immediately noticeable.

If you're related to anyone important, chances are you'll have superpowers.

You Know You're a Writer When:

You have the last chapters of a story done before even thinking of the characters names.
You often imagine your books becoming movies.
Spell check is your best friend.
You'll spend an hour trying to find one word cause you won't dare use a synonym.
Not being able to write is like not being able to pee to you... you just can't hold it in for so long.
You write so fast, you leave out words in a sentence.
Things that are written badly annoy you and make you want to re-write it better.
You laugh at jokes you wrote yourself.
You can spell words like 'troublesome' but can't spell 'the' half the time.
If you are not writing or typing, your fingers are moving constantly.
When you have to write some sort of story in class, you get carried away.
You would rather die than use words like 'good' or 'nice' and etc.
You put off the last chapter of a story simply because you don't want it to end.
If a story, movie, show, etc. finishes without closure, you have a powerful need to write a suitable ending.
You like to fidget, tap, or chew on the tip of something when you are trying to come up with a new sentence, paragraph, chapter, or story.
You are in love with the Thesaurus.
You dream of new stories.
You often revisit some of your old stories.
Someone can call your name twenty times without you hearing if you're writing.
You would rather write than go out.
Your/you're and their/there/they're are errors that send you into an apoplectic fit.
You get cranky if you don't get to write.
You've heard/seen/thought something, and thought, I need to write that down.
You wake up in the middle of the night and scrabble for a pen and paper you keep next to your bed to write down a scene to make the voices be quiet so you can get some sleep.
Getting the scene finished is more important than coffee, the bathroom, or food.
A blank wall becomes the screen where the scene you're writing takes place right in front of your eyes.
Even though you try your hardest to resist, you often correct your own grammar on IM.
You've apologized out loud to a character after doing something horrible to them.

What the heck did you just say about me, you little human? I'll have you know I'll graduate top of my class in the training academy, and I will have been involved in numerous secret raids to the surface, and I have 300 recipes for spaghetti. I am trained in the culinary arts, and am the top cook in the Royal Army. To me, you're nothing more than just another best friend. I will leap the heck out of this window with grace that has never been seen before in these ruins, mark my words. You think you can get away with not making up to Undyne about that whole "trying to kill you" thing? Think again, buddy. As we speak, I am giving you my phone number, and adding you to my network of friends on the Internet and your wall is being covered in spaghetti recipes, so you better prepare for the feast, friend. The feast that fills that silly thing you humans call a "stomach". You're stuffed, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and can cook pasta in over 700 ways, and that's just with angel hair. Not only am I extensively trained in Italian cooking(hey Sans, what's Italy?), but I have access to the cookbook of the top warrior in the King's Royal Army, and I will use it to its full extent to bury you under a waterfall of tomato sauce and vegetables. If only you knew what delicious treats your little "friendship" attempt was going to bring down upon you, maybe you would have cleaned your tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price. I will cook noodles all over you, and you will drown in it. You're full to bursting, kiddo.

NORMAL PEOPLE: See a stick with marks on it and ignore it.

WARRIORS FANS: See a stick with marks on it and know it is Jayfeather's.

NORMAL PEOPLE: say 'OH MY GOSH' (OMG).

WARRIORS FANS: say 'OH MY STARCLAN' (OMSC).

NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings.

WARRIORS FANS: know Rock is watching them.

NORMAL PEOPLE: say 'Shut up or I'll tell on you!'

WARRIORS FANS: say 'Shut up or Tigerstar will get you!'

NORMAL PEOPLE: say 'Dang it!'

WARRIORS FANS: say 'Fox Dung!'

NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell 'HELP ME, SOMEBODY!'

WARRIORS FANS: when being chased yell 'SPOTTEDLEAF, SHOW ME THE WAY!'

NORMAL PEOPLE: Think black cats are bad luck.

WARRIORS FANS: Think black cats are from ShadowClan.

NORMAL PEOPLE: Ignore this.

WARRIORS FANS: Copy this on their page just like I did.

If you've ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy and paste this into your profile

If you ever got hit in the face with a soccerball, football, etc., copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say right before you were going to say it copy this on your profile

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the conversation copy this on your profile

If you hate those mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites, copy and paste this on your profile

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.