FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella.

BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN DAMMIT RUN!'

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS:Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS:Would be sitting next to you sayin "THAT WAS FRICKING AWESOME"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your crap and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you.

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME!"

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS:Will confort you when the guy rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS:Will go up to him and say 'its becuase your gay isn't it?'

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter.

BEST FRIENDS:Will repost this shit!!

What a Boyfriend SHOULD do:

When she walks away from you mad

Follow her

When she stares at your mouth

Kiss her

When she pushes you or hits you

Grab her and don't let go

When she starts cussing at you

Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet

Ask her whats wrong

When she ignores you

Give her your attention

When she pulls away

Pull her back

When you see her at her worst

Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying

Just hold her and don't say a word

When you see her walking

Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared

Protect her

When she lays her head on your shoulder

Tilt her head up and kiss her

When she steals your favorite hat

Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you

Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesn't answer for a long time

Reassure her that everything is okay

When she looks at you with doubt

Back yourself up

When she says that she likes you she really does more than you could understand

When she grabs at your hands

Hold hers and play with her fingers

When she bumps into you bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes don't look away until she does

When she misses you she's hurting inside

When you break her heart the pain never really goes away

When she says its over

She still wants you to be hers

When she repost this bulletin

She wants you to read it

Girl Comebacks! (Hilarious!)

Man: Where have you been all my life?

Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?

Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?

Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?

Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?

Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?

Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?

Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.

Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.

Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.

Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together

Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.

Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

Man: I'd like to call you. What's your number?

Woman:It's in the phone book

Man: But I don't know your name

Woman: That's in the phone book too

Man: I know how to please a woman

Woman: Then please leave me alone

Man: I can tell you want me

Woman: Ohhhh, your so right, I want you to leave

Man: Hey baby, comming my way?

Woman: No, I'm heading that way, towards the door.

Man: "I want to give myself to you."

Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"

Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"

Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

Man: "I see you looking at me."

Woman: "No, I'm looking at the guy behind you."

You know you're crazy when...

1. You talk to yourself

2. You act like a completely different person when you talk to yourself

3. You give names to the other people you become when you talk to yourself

4. You draw the characters to go with the names

5. You start writing stories about those characters as if they were actually real

6. You read this list and go, "Oh, yeah, I do that too..."

Oh and now it's randomly time for Things Not to Do at Hogwarts!!

1. Getting everyone in the Great Hall to do the Time Warp (a dance involving the pelvic thrust) will not earn me any House points (unfortunately).

2. I will not hold my wand in the air before casting spells and shout, "I have the power!”

3. “Y’all check this here out!” is not an appropriate way to announce that I am about to perform an experimental spell.

4. It is not necessary to yell, “Burn!” every time Snape takes points from Gryffindor.

5. (Maybe) I won't scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.

6. “To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys” is not an appropriate career choice.

7. I will not sing, “We’re off to see the wizard!” when sent to the Headmaster’s office.

8. I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God.

9. I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways.

10. I am not allowed to begin each Herbology class by singing Little Shop of Horrors music.

11. It is not necessary for me to yell, “BAMF!” every time I Apparate.

12. I am not Xena: Warrior Princess and I shall not use war cries to signal my entrance into any classroom.

13. I am not allowed to declare an official Hug a Slytherin Day.

14. I am not allowed to reenact famous battles of the Revolutionary War in the Charms corridor.

15. I will not wear my DEATH EATER AND PROUD OF IT shirt.

16. I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween.

17. “Draco Malfoy takes it up the arse!” is not an acceptable Quidditch chant…

18. I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand.

19. I will not call Professor McGonagall “McGoogles.”

20. I will not sing the entire Multiplication Rock series during Arithmancy exams.

21. I will never ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling.

22. I will not attempt to magically animate my marshmallow Peeps. (But how cool would that be???)

23. I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him that they are real animals.

24. I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and take bets on who will come out alive.

25. I am not allowed to refer to Susan Bones, Hannah Abbott and Justin Finch-Fletchley as Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup.

26. I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintball.

27. I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss.

28. “OMGWTF!” is not a spell.

29. I will not follow Potions instructions in reverse order just to see what happens.

30. I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort..

31. Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.

32. If asked in class about Avada Kedavra, yelling, “It does DEATH!!” may be correct but it is not the manner in which one should answer.

33. I will not refer to the Accio charm as “The Force.”

34. I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I foresaw her death.

35. I will not use my socks to make hand puppets of the Slytherin mascot.

36. When fighting Death Eaters in the annual June battle of good and evil, I will not lift my wand skyward and shout, “There can be only ONE!”

37. I will not refer to DADA professors as “canaries in the coal mine.”

38. I will not say, “Dude, get a life,” to Lord Voldemort.

39. I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class.

40. It is generally accepted that cats and dragons cannot interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory no matter how wicked the result would be.

41. Gryffindor courage does not come in bottles labeled “firewhisky.”

42. Professor Flitwick’s first name is not Yoda.

43. I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.

44. Seamus Finnigan is not “After me, Lucky Charms!”

45. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw the Dark Mark on their arm.

46. I will not use Umbridge’s quill to write, “I told you I was hardcore.”

47. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.

48. I will not shout, "To infinity and beyond!!" when I take off on my broomstick.

49. The song "Ding Dong, The Witch Is Dead" is never appropriate - particularly not in reference to Professor Umbridge.

50. I will not refer to Draco Malfoy as "the amazing bouncing ferret."

If you solemly swear you are up to no good, copy and paste this into your profile.