tWo milkmen go comedy.

"All the worlds needs is me... I have my values... So you can keep yours, okay? I don't get people. Never have... Never will..." Neku, The World Ends With You.

"Tu fui, ego eris. What you were, I was. What I was, you will become..." Zero Sr., Zero Escape Volume 2: Virtue's Last Reward.

"Everything I do, I do for the Evulz." Luckenhaft.

"The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true." James Branch Cabell.

"I concede the fact that I'm an idiot, but what you fail to understand is that I don't give a fuck." Luckenhaft.

"What's are the signs that someone is a sociopath?" Joe, Twisted. (With a backwards S.) I can relate very well with Danny. Did you know if you ask this question while my mother is present she will respond, and I quote, "When someone asks you that question."

"Looks like I'm doing two guys at once." NicoB, 2015. Island Mode, Dangan Ronpa 2: Goodbye Despair.

"Best of luck... Defeat despair." Nagito Komaeda, 2015.

"But he's a guy!" Okabe Rintaro, Stein;s Gate. 2010.

"The president's going full Yandere on you, Olivia!" Luckenhaft's response to Scandal. November 11th, 2015.

"What's your (Bleep) doing on a dead girl's phone?" Annalise Keating, How to get away with murder.

"I might not be gay, but I'm gay for you baby." NicoB, 2015. Stein;s Gate: Lukako's Ending.

"Hey Bitch, You wanna join my harem?" NicoB's Seven Voice. New Persona 5 Trailer - Breakdown Analysis. 2016.

"What happens when Death, dies?" NicoB. Kingdom Hearts II Final Mix, Episode 16. May 28th, 2016.

Message to what remains of my small fandom: I'm done.

All time favorite videogame & why it is my favorite: Kingdom Hearts. (Do I need a reason to fav this? It was the very first videogame I ever played.)

Compiling a list of my favorite videogames, and light novels presently.

99% of teenagers would cry if they saw Justin Bieber above the sky scraper about to jump; copy and paste this to your profile if you're the 1% that would stand there with popcorn yelling, "Do a back flip!"

Plot Bunny Farm: PM me if you want to share/spitball ideals for fanfiction stories for the following fandoms of:

Kingdom Hearts.

Pokémon. (Preference being for the anime or games since I have not read any of the mangas.)

Elder Scrolls. (Preference being V and maybe Online.)

Fallout. (Preference being 4, but will be okay with some of the other games excluding the ones considered non-canon or semi-canon. I desire in my heart of hearts for a Sole Survivor/Lone Wanderer Bromance story, with emphasis on the BRO part of Bromance.)

Persona. (3, and 4 along with their associated spin-offs.)

Dangan Ronpa.

Sword Art Online.

Sekirei.

Infinite Stratos.

Bleach.

Naruto.

To Love-Ru.

Code Geass.

Supernatural. (I like thinking up ways shit can hit the fan in this series. Or making jokes about Destiel, it's shippers, shipping wars involving Destiel vs. any other Deanshippings, subtext for Destiel, or anything that could imply myself as a shipper for it.)

Spider-Man. (Mostly anything to do with Spider-Man.)

Marvel Comics. (Same as Spider-Man though anything that has him or Deadpool involved is preferable.)

Batman. (Again like Spider-Man.)

DC Comics. (Looking for Batman-centric or Batman-related. Also attentive towards The Flash due to his recent TV series.)

Not interested in Yaoi related discussions for the most part. (Did I spell Yaoi, right?)

Also not interested in SYOC stuff, or OC-centric stuff.

Mostly into the protagonist or the main characters of the franchises I have listed above.

I have a powerful vested interest in regards to anything to do with polygamous relationships or non-monogamous relationships.

I also have reasons for interest towards relationships our society could consider taboo. The May-December Romance Trope, (Though not into older gentlemen and younger women kinds of relationships.) and sibling and/or cousin romance. (Though older male sibling or cousin with younger female sibling or cousin bugs me a bit.) Bring on the jeers!

Bestiality, and young children-centered relationships gross me out. (My interpretation of 'child' is anything below the age of 16 where the age gap is either in the double digits or is a number around or above 6.)

In regards to videogame franchises: (Specifically Fallout, though I'm okay to talking about other kinds of games.) I will be interested in talking about stuff in the games, or stuff that could be put into the games, or things in the game that could be tweaked a bit, or DLC stuff, or your own ideals for a game in the series or franchise. (My best example is discussing something similar to a 'not quite a story, but more like a blueprint' for Fallout: New Orleans.)

STUPID = Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand (So me! XD)

If you think F.E.A.R. stands for Fuck Everything And Run, post this on your profile!

"You know, logic has a brother. His name is SHUT THE HELL UP!" - Naruto Abridged 4.

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter by Hyuuga Hiashi

Rule One: If you come up to gates of the Hyuuga estate and announce your presence you’d better be delivering an important message from the Hokage, because you’re sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered practical for boys of your age to remove their shirts when they have been training for hours on end. Presumably, this is to ensure that you do not overheat while you are training outdoors. Please don’t take this as an insult but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. We do have air conditioned dojos and indoor training halls for a reason. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may remove your shirts and tops whenever and wherever you want, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your pants do not, accidentally, come off during any time spent with my daughter, I will take my senbon and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex with the wrong kunoichi can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, my daughter is that kunoichi, and I will kill you.

Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about recent missions, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than sculpting the Hokage Monument. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like sweeping my floors?

Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, ninja patrols, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay. Chunin exam tournaments are okay. Morino Ibiki’s interrogation chambers are better. (Speaking of which, Ibiki owes me a favor. Would you like me to make an appointment for you? It’s no trouble.)

Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I am a master of the Byakugan – that makes me a living lie detector. I can see every involuntary twitch, every breath, and each bead of sweat on your face. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have an army of elite Byakugan users at my beck and call. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your steps coming up to my front gate for an enemy Cloud ninja sent here to steal the secrets of the Byakugan. You remember what happened to the last Cloud ninja who crossed me, don’t you? Incidentally, I will be cleaning and polishing the family katana as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you set one foot on my property you should submit yourself to a full body search by my guards, remove all hidden weapons from your person, and keep both hands in plain sight. Announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then leave - there is no need for you to come inside. You may not see me, but rest assured. I see you

The Man Laws

.. I follow these do you??

1. No wasted beer in the name of humor.

2. It has been made official that under no circumstances should the male have to pay for birth control

3. If your best friend is dumped by a girl it is a 6 month waiting period till she can be touched. If he breaks up with her its a 6 day waiting period.

4. If two or more males arrived at a party by a single car, and the driving male is hooking up with a girl, it is the responsibility of the other males to find other ways home.
(The exception to this law is if the driver is hooking up with his own girlfriend, the law is then void and the driver still holds full resposibility of driving his friends home)

5. Short shorts have been banned.. unless in a participating in a sporting event that demands shorter shorts. Also no real man should be allowed to pop his collar.

6. Every man shall allow one empty urinal of separation in a bathroom with three or more urinals, law is void if there are dividers in between each urinal.

7. If a girl and a guy are not officialy dating then it can't be considered cheating. However...if the guy cheats with a girl that is less attractive to the one he is originally interested in then he is either... A) Drunk or B) Dumbass. This then gives the original girl the right to either get mad or laugh at you.

8. No one should ever steal a man's alcohol from that man's cooler...this is the only law that suffers the penalty of death.

9. When bringing condoms to a party it is a man's responsibility to pack two in his pockets and one in his car as a spare incase a friend is in desperate need.

10. No heavy fornication in a friend's bed. Or just wash the sheets.

11. No man shall ever use a rolling backpack. If you can't carry the bag then your not a man.

12. If another man's fly is down, you didn't see anything and may not make a comment about it.

13. When a man is borrowing a buddies tool or other equipment, if the borrowie puts any scratches or brings it back with any noticable wear, then he is required to do one of the following: If the item costs under 50 bucks, you are required to replace it. If the item costs over 50 bucks, you are required to give him a case of beer, because hey...who wants to spend more than 50 bucks on something that isn't yours.

14. When your friend picks up a hot girl...however the hot girl has an ugly friend...it is only right that you operate as a wing man doing whatever it is you gotta do to help your buddy have some time alone with the hot girl. As men we are obligated to sacrifice and pay it forward for each other knowing that the favor will one day be repayed.

15. When calling shotgun, all riders of the car must be outside, and shotgun can only be called when the car is in view. Riders in the car are not allowed to run to shotgun and steal it before the person who called and deserves it arrives there. The driver of the car has no authority to decide on who gets shotgun. If a legitimate confrontation comes up where the rightful owner of the shotgun can not be determined then it will be decided by one round of rock paper scissors (with no shoot). If the two contenders tie 5 times in a row then the rightful owner of the shotgun is to be decided by a UFC cage match in which the first blood drawn decides the rightful owner of shotgun.

Addendum to Man Law No. 15:
If at any point during the process of determining the shotgun rider a hot girl hints that she would like to sit up front the driver has the sole right to declare her the shotgun rider and depending upon the situation may even deny rides to all other passengers. However, if said hot girl is an ex of any passenger they may overrule the driver's decision and make her ride in the back. Additionally, if all passengers happen to be female then revert back to original method of deciding shotgun rider substituting mud wrestling for UFC cage match. The winner then gets either a cold water hose down or shotgun the next ride unless the car is really shitty and the owner doesn't care about muddy seats.

16. It is ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS with no shoot. If you must say shoot, it has to be agreed upon by both men and a witness has to be present and somewhat sober.

17. When toasting with beers you clank with the bottom.

18. You poke it you own it.

19. The head nod is an acceptable way to greet another guy when simply walking past. No words are needed to be said. An upward nod is for friends, a downward nod is for fellow men.

20. If a man is on vacation to a state that does not border his own, or any other country, it is not considered cheating if he so chooses to engage in sexual activity with a girl other than his girlfriend. Although he should be fully aware that his girlfriend may not see eye to eye if she was to ever find out.

21. A man should not masturbate more than 3 times in a day to insure being ready for any unknown or known late night action. Assisting Girls does not count.. rule is in exception if male party is in a bet to set a record of number of times in a day.

22. A man shall never wear any article of women's clothing (I.E .. Girls Jeans/Pants!) unless they are the loser of such a bet.. or if a man is figuratively in a girls pants.. (or any other article of clothing).

23. No man in any circumstance, unless mocking a violater of this law, should pop his collar.

24. A man should never be denied the right to adjust himself or place his hands down his pants under any circumstances.

25. Being a Pirate should be considered a Manly job because pirates get two types of booty.

26. All men must eat meat. A shitload of meat. If not borderline carnivore. For no reason should a man ever be a vegitarian, or eat sick shit like tofu. Also no man should consume any food with the terms "diet", "fat free", or any other healthy suggesting terms for the sake of "watching his weight" or dieting.

27. Every man is required to learn some form of Poker before he dies.

28. If a man ever does something wrong a simple "OOPS", "My Bad", or any variations of cuss words that get the point across will suffice, no need to say "I'm Sorry"

29. No man should ever hook up with his best friend's girl, no matter how hot she is. This is in effect while they are dating or "together." If they are seperated refer to Law 3 for the proper way to handle the situation. (Side Advice: Less guilt is involved if she comes on to you.

30. Under no circumstance should any one man cockblock another mans attempt at getting some tang. Lets just leave that up to the tangs fat friend. Please note that cockblocking will result in a suspension of your Man status and its privileges, and will result in the title Manbitch.

31. Every man should watch sportscenter at least once a day, though multiple viewings are recomended so that one can hold his own in any debate on sports that may arise that day.

32. Under no circumstances shall any man lay a hand on a female or a child in violence. Spanking of a woman's ass or pulling of the hair is permitted if done on request. Corporal punishment is permitted excluding obvious extremes. Punishment for the attacking male is that if other men see the assault taking place they having the right to take him out back behind a building and show him how to fight with real men. In this situation more than one man may be used in the attacking of said woman beater because he clearly doesn't mind an unfair fight seeing as he was hitting a lady or a child to begin with. A call to the police is a very last resort and should only be used if said male is over 6' 5" 250lb. or a UFC cage fighter. A kick to the crotch is only called for in cases of rape. If it is merely a guy beating a woman, defenseless child, or elderly people then a legitimate beating is called for, but no shots to the crotch. If it is a case of rape however, multiple shots to the crotch are called for. The punishment must fit the crime and since rape is using that area of the body, it is ok to inflict damage to it.

33. If a woman is present whether family or friend no man under any circumstances shall make their own food or pour their own drinks unless it is a special holiday such as, Mother's day, Birthday's, or St. Patrick's day or if the woman cannot keep up with the pace you want your drink poured. Law is void if significant grilling is involved.

34. No man shall ever watch a soap opera ever! Period! If this law is broken, it will result in the lowering of status from man to manbitch and the questioning of the liking of opposite gendered relationships.

35. Women can't drive.

36. In the court of Man Law the statement "I was Drunk" will have the same effect as an insanity plea (reduced punishment) in standard court provided the defendant's blood alcohol level exceeds .10.

37. If any male is caught violating a Man Law in serious context, as a form of punishment he should be disowned of his manly name, only to receive the title of "Manbitch" from his peers and colleagues. Forgiveness is pending the severity of the broken law...or a case of beer to all his offended peers as a token of respect to what is manly...and what is not.

38. Any man that is old enough and is not in the army should at least support the troops, even if you dont agree with the war they are your country men fighting to protect you and you should show them your support

39. No more crushing of empty beer cans on your forehead. modern, thinner cans make the feat less impressive than with cans of years past.

40. If you take beer to a party the tuck rule is in play when leaving, you may take one beer max, but only if the beer will fit in your pocket.

41. Do not have a conversation at a urinal.

42. A man will not live in his parents house past the age of 27 unless they are ill or he is in the war.

43. All men have the right to remain silent when asked by a woman "do you like this". and the right to leave the room.

44. Sex is more important then talking

45. No man under any circumstance shall use lip balm.

46. Grilling regardless of weather is always the first choice for cooking.

47. No man shall ever own a dog smaller then a housecat

48. Men will invite other men to Man Law

49. No man shall ever turn down free beer because "its not their brand."

50. No man shall be shamed if they are passed out with their shoes off in your place. If the person passes out outside of the house, then they are fair game shoes or not.

51. It is acceptable for a man to publicly situate and/or scratch himself in the region of the gonads. If at a formal conference, then do so discretely. If at a football party, scratch away, just no handshakes.

52. The morning after, if a beer has been left on the table, no matter the temperature, it is acceptable to consume this item with food, such as its counterpart, cold pizza.

53. If you spill a man's beer, you buy the next round/refill the cup.

54. Nursing a beer is unacceptable. The bottle/can/cup should never reach lukewarm temperature with beer still in it. If you cant drink it in said time, don't open it. If you cant drink it in said time, your man status will be up for review.

55. Always accept beer from a stranger, but only if unopened/capped.

56. It is never a man's responsibility to empty the trash while drinking. Beer cans may be staked or crushed while the bottles may be thrown into neighbor's lawn.

57. A man does not have to like another man to drink his beer. Beer is beer.

58. It is acceptable for a man to break man laws, if no other option is humanly possible, in the pursuit of the opposite sex. His actions will be given leeway.

59. The bachelor's party is exclusively male. (except the entertainment).

60. No man may ever sell a beer to a friend. Its understood that said friend will repay beer with beer later. Under no circumstance may the replacement beer be of a lesser quality.

61. A man purse is still a purse.

62. No man shall dance for fun unless its to increase his chances with a member of the opposite sex.

63. Body paint is onlly acceptable on a man if its on gameday and to support his team.

64. No man shall bring a woman to the guys night out. this is punishable by verbal abuse for life.

65. If you do not sweat, its not a sport.

66. If a large snake catches a man offguard and bites, said man is allowed to scream once.

67. No man shall wear a beret unless its for his military service.

68. When lifting weights, it is acceptable for a man to wear compression shorts under the regular shorts. No man shall ever wear compression shorts alone.

69. No man shall ever, under and circumstance, share an umbrella with another man.

70. No two men are allowed to enter a revolving door together. Unless it involves a race were the winner receives a combination of the following: beer, food, sex.

71. The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want" gets an Xbox. End of story.

72. Keeping beer from other's by hiding it in the fridge is not permissable. Besides, sharing is caring.

73. Wives and girlfriends may not store items other than beer in the garage fridge. It is for beer only.

74. A man may publicly rebuke another man only if the first man has the man law and number memorized. Otherwise the rebuke must be in private. Furthermore, any man who has the man laws memorized will be deemed a "higher" man.

75. In no situation is it acceptable to sit cross-kneed. You either sit with feet-crossed, no cross, or stand.

76. Men are allowed to lick the plate when done but only when alone or with other men.

77. A man should be able to determine a diesel engine by sound alone.

78. While smiling, no man shall stick his tongue between his teeth.

79. It should be understood that while, yes, cheerleading is not a sport, and it is perfectly accepted to watch.

80. If a man is punched, and the hit is rubbed, he is punched again in the same area twice.

81. A man should be able to lucidly explain the rules of one or more of the following sports: Football (not the European kind), Baseball, or Ice Hockey.

82. The dressing of any pet for any reason is not acceptable...any garment that is not a part of the animal shall not be allowed to be attached to that animal...exceptions are collars, leashes, etc. exception to this rule are monkeys.

83. Under no circumstances shall any man drink wine cooler...ever...unless beer or liquor is completely unattainable. This includes anything (non liquor) fruit flavored that comes in a bottle.

84. Under no circumstances shall a man ever defer control of the television remote to a female.

85. There are three reasons for which a man is allowed to cry.
1. He is hit in the genitals with anything traveling over 10mph.
2. Your date is using her teeth.
3. Anna Kournikova gets married.

86. When watching a "catfight" it is perfectly acceptable to choose sides. It is also perfectly acceptable to pray for rippage of clothing.

87. When in a public shower, no man will look below the shoulders. Also, no eye-to-eye contact for more than one second is allowed. If eye contact occurs, nod upwards, and look away.

88. No man under any circumstances should have to explain the use of a power tool to another man.

89. Never should man give a woman the credit card. No exceptions.

90. No man should talk on a telephone to a girl longer than he will have sex with her.

91. Every man should smoke at least one premium cigar in his life. Not any swisher sweet crap either. Cohiba, Monicristo, CAO (Cade Mayo).

92. No man shall ever read an instruction manual. If the man does not know how to use the item trial and error shall be used until the correct function is determined.

93. No man shall be held accountable for any promise he makes while drunk unless it was a bet. (Boots Jones)

94. When questioned by a friend's girlfriend, you need not and should not provide any information as to his whereabouts. You are even permitted to deny his very existence.

95. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 24 hours.

96. A best man's toast may not include any of the following phrases, "down in Tijuana", "one time when we were all piss drunk", or "and this girl had the biggest rack you ever saw".

97. You may exaggerate any anecdote told to your friends by 50 without recrimination, beyond that anyone within earshot is allowed to yell out "bullshit!". (exception: when trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration is 400)

98. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another man is 5 minutes. The maximum is 6 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.

99. Bitching about the brand of free beverages in your buddy's refrigerator is forbidden. But gripe at will if the temperature is not suitable.

100. A friend must be permitted to borrow anything you own - grill, car, firstborn child - within 12 hr notice. Women or anything considered "lucky" are not applicable in this case.

101. Falling on a grenade for a buddy (agreeing to distract the skanky friend of the hot babe he's trying to score) is your legal duty. But should you get carried away with your good deed and end up getting on the beast, your pal is forbidden to ever speak of it.

102. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a Buffalo wing clean.

103. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. (in fact, even remembering your best friends birthday is optional)

104. You must offer heartfelt condolences over the death of a girlfriends cat, even if it was you who secretly set it on fire and threw it into a ceiling fan.

105. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing. You should know such things.

106. If your girlfriend asks to set your friend up with her ugly, whiny, loser friend of hers, you must grant permission, but only if you have ample time to warn your friend to prepare his excuse about joining the priesthood.

107. When picking players for sports teams it is permissible to skip over your buddy in favor of better athletes- as long as you don't let him be the last sorry son of a bitch standing on the sideline.

108. Never join your girlfriend in ragging on a buddy of yours... unless she is withholding sex, pending your response.

109. You can not rat out a friend who show's up to work or class with a massive hangover, however you may: hide the aspirin, smear his chair with limburger cheese, turn the brightness on his computer way down so he thinks its broken, or have him paged every seven minutes.

110. The morning after you and a babe, who was formerly "just a friend", go at it, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to jump on her again before there is a discussion about what a big mistake it was.

111. If offered a Billion dollars to star in a filthy gay porno a man must accept or is he obviously gay.

112. If offered sex with multiple partners of the opposite sex who are both above a 5 on the 1-10 scale you must accept or be stripped of all man status you have obtained and you will still be in the negative of man hood. The only exception of this law is if you have STDs but only if you got them in this process in the first place.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism

Ain't this just so sweet

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile

16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme song.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

Repost this if you laughed... Or are planning to do any of these things

Things to do on an Elevator

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it

I would do this for my girl!

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared.

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No it's not! Please it's too scary!

Guy: Then tell me you love me. Girl: Fine I love you. Slow down!

Guy: Now give me a BIG hug!

Girl : hugs him

Guy: Can you take my helmet off and put it on yourself? It's bugging me.

Girl: Alright, now slow down

Guy: I love you babe

(in the paper the next day): A motorcycle had crashed into a building because of brake failure. Two people were on it, but only 1 had survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his brakes broke, but he didn't want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her say she loved him and felt her hug one last time, then he had her wear his helmet so that she would live even though it meant that he would die. If u love any one this much re-post this ...and...the love of your life will realize they feel the same ... DON'T BREAK THIS . 2morow will be the best day of your life. However, if u don t post this by at least 12:00 tonight, you will have bad luck in your love life 4 the rest of your life

Guys Post This As "I would do this for my girl "

Girls Post This As "Boys aren't jerks"

this is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

I'd be this Boyfriend:

When she walks away from you mad, follow her

When she stares at your mouth, kiss her

When she pushes you or hits you, grab her and don't let go

When she starts cussing at you, kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet, ask her whats wrong

When she ignores you, give her your attention

When she pulls away, pull her back

When you see her at her worst, tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying, just hold her and don't say a word

When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared, protect her

When she lays her head on your shoulder, tilt her head up and kiss her

When she steals your favorite hat, let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you, tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesn't answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay

When she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up

When she says that she likes you, she really does more than you could understand

When she grabs at your hands, hold hers and play with her fingers

When she bumps into you, bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes, don't look away until she does

When she misses you, she's hurting inside

When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away

When she says it’s over, she still wants you to be hers

When she reposts this bulletin, she wants you to read it

When she's mad, hug her tight and don't let go

When she says she's ok, don't believe it, talk with her- because 10 years later she'll remember you

When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.

Let her know she's important.

Kiss her in the pouring rain.

When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; "Whose ass am I kicking, babe?"

If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will: Call you. Kiss you. Love you. Text you.

Guys post as: "I'd be this boyfriend." Girls post as: "A true boyfriend " or " what a boyfriend should do"

If you are an addict to Naruto and favorite couple is NaruHina then copy & paste this to your profile By Aaron Leach and DarkSamuraiX1999

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. BEST FRIENDS: Loses your shit and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies) BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shittttt!!

Wind is a very mysterious force. It is the base for many elements and yet is easily overlooked.

Like water, it will always find a way around obstacles and, given enough time, will even be able to destroy the most powerful of structures.

Like fire, it is wild and easily will escape control and damage the surrounding. It is a free spirit and cannot be controlled, but only guided.

Like lightning, it is fast and deadly, able to strike at an enemy before they even know what happened, without being seen or leaving a trace.

Like earth, it can stand up to any opponent and take constant barrages and will sometimes go so far as to reverse the damage, albeit in a different way.

Yet the wind is the base as water would freeze solid and be unable to move without heat that is taken away with the vacuum-like effect of air. Fire would die out with no oxygen as fuel. Lightning would dissipate as the air is used for static. Earth can be destroyed by either being torn to shreds by a tornado, or just by pure force like that of a hurricane. Wind is known as the key to life while the other elements are the doors.

If you are hyper, and like being hyper, and is hyper all the time. COPY AND PASTE!

If you love the original Pokemon series then copy and paste this in your profile

If Pokemon was the first Anime you ever saw, then copy and paste.

Kyuubi's Top Twenty List of People/Things That Just Need to Die By Its Hand

#20. Minato Namikaze: The bastard had a giant slimy toad try to hold me down and then he had the gall to seal me into his fucking son. Other than that his hair is too bright and with his special move, the Hiraishin, he was a pain in my ass. He's also such a good target to heap hate onto, the look on his face at all times just makes me want to eat him, no joke.

#19. Mito Uzumaki: My first jinchuuriki, the one that started the chain of me looking at the inside of people's heads instead of the outside world. She sealed me in herself, herself! She sealed me in herself and didn't do a half-bad job of it whatsoever. The kit knows nothing about her because I'm not his damned storybook, but if he did he would be more inspired to learn that fuuinjutsu shit. The worst part is that she never tried to even utilize any of my power, I was bored as hell in there.

#18. Glitter Cannons: These horrible contraptions are too evil, even to me. Cruel and unusual… and obnoxious.

#17. Kisame Hoshigaki: Apparently he has enough chakra to earn the nickname biju without a tail. I'll wait and see him fight my container before I believe a word of that shit. That creepy-ass sword of his eats chakra does it? Well I would love for it to eat a concentrated blast of my chakra and see how much it likes snacking on that.

#16. Soy substitutes for meat: If it looks like beef, cooks like beef, sizzles like beef, but fucking tastes like asparagus then there's a fucking problem. If I want that then I'll tell the ningen I'm sealed in to eat the leaves off of a tree. The hands down worst food that the kit has ever picked up and tried at the behest of that black-haired medic woman. Disgusting.

#15. Maito Gai: I would have him higher, but he freaks me right the fuck out and he'd probably enjoy that. There comes a time in every man's life where he has to put up the form fitting green leotard for good. That time came for Gai about seven years ago. He makes me regret making my deal with the kit, because seeing him in that shitty green suit and listening to him scream like an epileptic cheerleader about 'the power of youth' makes me want to eat him, it's an insult to the senses. The only reason I would back off from doing that if I had the chance is because I'm not entirely sure that whatever is afflicting him can be passed over to biju. I already know it's contagious, his little mini-me that he totes around is proof enough of that. With that knowledge I don't feel like risking it.

#14. Jiraiya: He's slowly getting off my shit list, but he's on here for more than a few reasons. Now the kit I'm sealed in is a pervert, I'll admit that, and I doubt he would deny it himself if you prodded him on it, but this man is one of the highest degree, so much so that it is creepy. When he met Naruto before the chunin exam he wanted him to stay in Oiroke no Jutsu form, even though he knew damn well that the kit was a boy. What the fuck?

Other than that he trained the bastard that sealed me away again, without him I wouldn't even be here right now, and he was a lesser reason that the kit had to go through four years of life as an utter moron. He's slowly dropping down the list, I did have him higher, but I am a benevolent being, therefore he's working his way off the list, but he won't be off of it anytime soon.

#13. Rock Lee: You need to be part of the solution kid, not part of the problem. Hell, even if I'd never seen or heard the kid he'd still be on the list for drinking the kool-aid that Gai heaped into his bushy-browed little head. Why not become my mini-me? I'm at least ten times better than Maito Gai!

#12. Fangirls: Enough said.

#11. Alcohol-free beer: The kit hates this stuff too. It utterly defeats the purpose of drinking in the first place, if you're not drinking to get drunk then you should just go ahead and mix yourself some lemonade and sit in a corner. 'The only thing worse than drinking a warm Schlitz tall boy is drinking a warm Schlitz tall boy and realizing that you did it for absolutely no good reason.' The kit's words, not mine.

#10. Gamabunta: This ugly warted son of a bitch held me down and stabbed me with that goddamned tanto of his long enough for the bastard Yondaime to seal me in his son. I gave the toad a nice little gift to remember me by though. He he he… How he was able to look at the kit the first time he saw him use my power and not shit himself on the spot I'll never know.

#9. Orochimaru: Just rubs me the wrong way. It's not the need to destroy Konoha, fuck that place. It's not the jumping bodies thing either since I technically did that myself, though not by choice. It's not even his *ahem* life choices… It's basically his entire personality. Orochimaru is capable of doing anything he wants and he chooses the most impossible life goal in existence, to learn every jutsu in the world. The only way that would ever work is if he could kill every single person in the world and get their bloodlines and list of jutsu before he tried it, and that would be redundant because who would he brag to about it? What a stupid goal, and he was supposed to be a genius.

#8. The guy that introduced ramen to Konohagakure no Sato: I curse this person every day of my existence. If I never hear the word ramen again I would be just okay with that. I would curse that family of ramen chefs, but that wouldn't be the root of the problem, if they weren't in Konoha any longer my container would somehow find some other way to get his fix, so I'm cursing the source of my flavored noodle misery.

#7. Sasuke Uchiha: First of all, the kit doesn't like him. The kit is usually a good judge of character and if he doesn't like you then there's a damn good reason behind it. I personally don't like the brat because of that damned pink-eye of his that he calls a doujutsu, but that's more personal than objective. He reminds me of Madara, he's also laughably easy to manipulate, it's ridiculous. Genius my ass.

He has an attitude problem and no amount of adjustments, i.e. asskickings, will ever get through to his thick skull. Whoever said that children are the future never got a look at this punk's psyche, or else they would have had him committed to a mental facility. Mark my words, that Uchiha runt is going to bring about the ninja apocalypse if no one stops him before he gets too big for his britches, and he'll probably laugh while he watches the world burn.

#6. Kirabi: Do I really need to go through the reason that I want to eat this guy? Try and have an hour long conversation with the man and see if you can keep your temper and sanity in check.

#5. Kabuto Yakushi: He's like a cochroach. He'll live through the worst of the fallout and pop his head out to sift through the remains. The boy has no redeeming qualities as far as I can see. He smells of snakes and oiled wood. Those two things just do not go together, and that makes me mistrust him even more than I already should. He's troublesome, and whenever he shows his face he never sticks around long enough to take too much of a beating. At least Orochimaru is man enough to go toe to toe with someone when the need arises.

#4. Hiruzen Sarutobi: He really thought that the people of this village would see my container as a person, shouldn't a ninja of legendary stature have a better understanding of human nature? Now other than creating and *ahem* enforcing the rule that had adults inspiring their kids to try and bully him and keep him away at all times he really didn't do that much and this is not the reason that he's up this high, but I am insulted that he didn't think my jinchuuriki had what it took to be a ninja. He was my prison, of course he had what it took when he was young!

This actually led to the best thing that had ever happened to the boy, getting actual training and being able to prove to the world my superiority, as my container was a force to be reckoned with at a young age, until the old monkey got paranoid and sealed away years of hard work. I may be petty, but I'm immortal and a being more ancient and powerful than any on the planet, I can afford to be petty.

#3. The first guy that called for Naruto's death when he was revealed as the Kyuubi's container: The two jinchuuriki I had before him barely had to deal with the crap that this kid had to put up with, hell Mito didn't have to deal with anything adverse at all. Well with an angry crowd all it ever takes is one dumbass to open the floodgates and let the ire of the masses come out. After my 'attack', emotions were high, and everyone was low on logic and understanding, therefore loud and opinionated idiots like this held sway, as in most near anarchy situations. Whoever this guy was I hope that Sarutobi's Anbu axed his ass on the spot, he made Naruto's life, and by proxy my life, much harder than it already was going to be.

#2. Hashirama Senju: The son of a bitch held me down with his stupid Mokuton and let his wife seal me inside of herself. Almost one hundred years of consecutive life sentences inside of passed down hosts with supposedly ridiculously long natural life spans for humans. All because some guy could grow a tree around me and hold me in place. If Madara is the reason I'm sealed then this ass is the trigger.

#1. Madara Uchiha: Where do I start? Well how about the fact that the sadistic piece of shit freaks me the fuck out sometimes… me! Me of all people! This ass is the reason I was sealed the first time and the third time. I must have his head. I will hound the kit until the day I feel Madara's blood run across his fingertips. Fuck Madara Uchiha and his hijacked eyes, the next time we meet I'll show him who's in control.

He has a damn god complex and enough arrogance to just come out and make puppets and tools of forces that should not be trifled with, myself included. He's manipulative, sneaky, and conniving, even to the extent where I find it overbearing. Yes, a world without Madara Uchiha in it would seem like utopia to me. He keeps his eyes on the times and picks the most opportune moments to risk his neck by coming out into the open, and that makes him all the more dangerous since he has always ended up on top, or at least in control of the situation.

10 Simple Rules For Dating My A Marine's Daughter

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

Welcome to my kingdom.