![]() Author has written 5 stories for Harry Potter, Avengers, Dr. Seuss series, A Monster in Paris/Un monstre à Paris, and Thor. Hey, this is Sugar and Migraines, but you can call me Sugar! I'm a 17 year old pain in the rear with a love for very sugary items and a knack for repetitive migraines (that might be caused by all the sugar, but I refuse to give it up). I write FanFictions on what ever captures my fancy, but I'll only post the ones I actually finish, just to be nice! I hate the color pink, and love black, red and dark green. I am insomniac, but that does not mean you should expect me to post every night, just to get story reviews at obscenely odd times. Oh, and I'm a complete dork, just warning you now, lol. I've noticed that a lot of author have a preferred hair/eye color combo, personality type, nervous twitch they they apply to all of their characters, and it's not that I don't enjoy the stories they make, but it always seems like a small self insertion that no one is supposed to notice, but I would really appreciate it if you would notify me if you spot it in my writing cause I don't want a self insertion, I want a unique character that is nothing like me. Thanks! - Saw this somewhere, saved it to my computer and now here it if for you, listen to it's wise words. The 27 Commandments of Fanfiction 1. Thou shalt not post a fic until it has been checked for grammar and spelling errors. The fanfiction gods hath given you a spellchecker on the computer for good reason. Use it. 2. Thou shalt not post a chapter of less than 100 words, unless it is a drabble or a poem. This displeases the masses. 3. Thou shalt not put author's notes in the middle of the story. 4. Thou shalt NEVER use text-speak in a fic, unless the characters are actually texting. 5. Thou shalt keep to one tense, and only one, throughout the story. Do not switch randomly. 6. Apply the above number 5 to POVs as well. 7. Thou shalt not get offended when someone makes fun of the crack pairing featured in your fanfiction. It probably is rather hilarious. 8. Thou shalt not use , ;, or :( in a fanfiction to show the emotion exhibited by a character. (Unless it's a text or an IM particularly in Homestuck, and then thou art forgiven.) 9. Thou shalt try-eth to keep characters in character! 10. Thou shalt not treat every criticism as a flame. 11. The author's note is not a spot for your personal drama, and thou shalt not make it so. (Meh, some of your personal drama is interesting, please ignore this one, if I am uninterested I won't read it.) 12. Thou shalt not put any form of the phrase "first fic" in thy summary. 13. Thy created characters must not have names that exceed five syllables in length. Nor shall thy name have more than five words in length. 14. Thou shall not insert thyself into the story line as thyself or as thine character- yes we know that you are in love with yourself and are very narcissistic, we just don’t want to read about how you end up with the main character. 15. If thou art writing a story that does not follow the original story line, point it out in the beginning. 16. Thou shall not make a person randomly smart or powerful unless stating a reason for the change (a good reason). 17. Thou shalt show and not tell. 18. Thou shalt not EVER use the phrase "I suck at summaries" in-est thine summary. This annoys thine readers. 19. Thou shalt not write the same way thou speak-est- writing is an art. 20. Thou shalt ALWAYS spell the word "okay" correctly. Using the letter "K" is an unacceptable compromise. (Though using "ok" is completly fine it the characters are texting, like in number 4.) 21. Thou shalt only use clichés when thou a) art writing a parody or b) find a new and interesting twist to make such clichés bearable to thine reader. 22. Thou shalt always separate dialogue from two separate speakers in two separate paragraphs. Otherwise thine readers shalt be confuse-ed, unless you are very specific in your wording. 23. Thou shalt not EVER make a chapter all one paragraph. THIS INFURIATES BOTH THINE READER AND THE FANFICTION GODS. They have given thee an ENTER key with good reason. 24. Thou shalt not write with thy caps lock on, it displeases the masses and causes thy readers to lose their vision and makes angels weep. 25. Thou shalt know how to spell the character's names correctly before you writeth thy fic. Misspelling the name of the main characters makes readers angry and distracts from the story. 26. Thou shalt not say in thine summary "summary inside". This shows lack of creativeness and infuriates the masses. The only exception is when a summary is cut short and a continuation of it lies inside. 27. Thou shall use paragraphs and space the story so it is not terrifyingly daunting to thine readers. RULES FOR LIFE AT HOGWARTS (Some of these kill me. 21, 28, 33, 39, 40, 41, 45, and 46 are my favorites.) 1) Seamus Finnigan is not after "me lucky charms." 3) "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge. 4) I will not sing "We're Off to See the Wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office. 5) I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class. (Even if it would be more accurate than the Professor) 6) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss. 7) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda. 8) Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar. 9) First years are not allowed to be fed to Fluffy. 10) I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "Time of the Month." 11) I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals. 12) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin Quidditch matches. 13) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball. 14) When Death-Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout, "To the Bat Mobile, Robin!" 15) When a class-mate falls asleep, I shall not take advantage of the fact and draw a Dark Mark on his arm. (who am I kidding? Yes I will!) 16) It's not necessary for me to yell "BURN!" every time Snape takes house points from Gryffindor. 17) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental. 18) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny. Even if he is wearing an orange anorak. 19) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends." 20) I will not dress up in a Dementor's suit and use a dustbuster on Harry's lips to make him do what I want. 21) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book. 22) I will not hold my wand in the air before casting spells shouting, "I have the power!" 23) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that the Knights who say Ni have challenged him to a duel and then have students yell "Ni!" from various directions. (Highly inappropriate, albeit very funny.) 24) I am not Xena: Warrior Princess and I shall not use war cries to signal my entrance when I enter a classroom. 25) Its not necessary for me to yell "Bam!" every time I apparate. 26) I will not steal Griffyndor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallway. 27) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music when wandering the halls. 28) "To conquer the earth with flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice. 29) I am not allowed to begin Herbology class by singing the theme song to "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes." 30) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs. 31) The Whomping Willow is not an Entwife. 32) "Draco Malfoy, Take it up the arse" is not an acceptable Quidditch chant. 33) I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween. 34) I am not Allowed to lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in a closet to see if hot, gay sex will occur. 35) It is a bad idea to tell Professor McGonagall that she takes herself too seriously. 36) "Ya'll check this shit out!" is not an appropriate way to announce that I am about to conduct an experimental 37) I will not say the phrase, "Dude, get a life," to Voldemort. 38) I will not offer to pose nude for Collin Creevy. (He will take you up on it.) 39) I am no longer allowed to use the words "pimp cane" in front of Draco Malfoy. 40) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera. 41) I am to stop referring to Lucius Malfoy as my 'Sugar Daddy'. 42) I will stop taking bets on if Voldemort is really Harry's father. 43) I am not the illegitemite child of Voldemort and Bellatrix Lestrange, and I must stop referring to myself as such 44) Cedric was not turned into a vampire by Dr. Cullen, I will stop asking Cedric's father where he is hiding 'The sex god knows as Edward Cullen' 45) I will not charm the doorway into potions class so that every time Professor Snape walks in it will play the muggle song 'Love Shack' or the Darth Vader theme song. 46.) I will not charm the door way to Defense against the Dark Arts to play 'Wild Thing' every time Professor Lupin walks in. Randomness Ahead: Whoever said "nothing is impossible" never tried slamming a revolving door. You know it’s going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor. Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over. Education is important. Although school is another matter entirely. Amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic. Always forgive your enemies, it's the best way to annoy them out of their minds. I used to be normal, until I met those freaks I now call my best friends. I ran with scissors and lived! I don't obsess. I just think intensely for long and uninterrupted periods of time. When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it. I find the phrase "Good Morning" an oxymoron. Having the love of your life say "we can still be friends," is like your dog dying, and your mom saying you can keep it. Your just jealous that the little voices are talking to me. I knew something was wrong when my imaginary friends would talk to me, usually he's just a silent static like figure that tries to hug my throat with his hands when I stand in front of mirrors. My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems. The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense. My knight in shining armour turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil. Never knock on Death’s door. Ring the doorbell and run away; he hates that. Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out. One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions. Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner! You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it. Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young. I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun. Therapist = The/rapist . . . Scary thought. Remember what you just said, because tomorrow I am going to have a witty and sarcastic comeback and you'll be devastated then! You can't wait for inspiration; you have to go after it with a club. Asking a writer what he thinks about criticism is like asking a lamppost what it thinks about dogs. My friends are the type of people who would try to drown a fish, but I love them anyway. Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night." Ooooo . . . A life. Where can I download one? The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide. Doctors say I have multiple personality disorder. We disagree with that. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you. I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor"--a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck, my friends, for I may not return alive. Slinky Escalator = Endless Fun! Harry Potter Quiz time! Put your favorite 12 characters in no order at all! ;) ((Soooo... Since I last did this things have changed, original answers will be in double parenthesis)) 1. Severus Snape 2. Lucius Malfoy 3. George Weasley 4. Bellatrix LeStrange 5. Fred Weasley 6. Voldemort 7. Draco Malfoy 8. Blaise Zabini 9. Albus Dumbledore 10. Sirius Black 11. Lilly Potter 12. James Potter 1) Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before? ((Ugh, no, and I hope I never do, bleh!)) The beginning pairing to some of my favorite Boy-Who-Is-The-Son-Of-A-Dark-Lord stories. 2) Do you think Four is hot? How hot? ((She’s pretty, but needs an attitude adjustment, I love her wardrobe, too!)) Yes, in a sick, 'If I had to die I'd like her to do it please,' kind of way. 3) What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant? ((I’d scream my head off then wonder how he did it from eyond the grave.)) James, WTF? I thought you loved Lily? You know... your wife? 4) Do you recall any fics about Nine? ((Yes, cause Dumbledore is awesome like that!)) Does bashing count? 5) Would Two and Six make a good couple? ((NO!!! We do NOT need two megalomaniacs out there dating each other, that could have been Voldemort’s secret weapon to kill us all, you know?)) ... Nope, no change here. 6) Five/Nine or Five/Ten? ((If I really had to choose so that I wouldn’t be terrified for life, I would have to say Fred/Sirius.)) Same 7) What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve kissing? ((Die of shock and horror, 1) because his dad would be gay, and 2) he was making out with a Blood Traitor, in effect making him a Blood Traitor... actually, I think that the second one would hit harder, I mean, have you seen Lucius' hair? It's amazing, and I don't know many guys with hair like that who are strait.)) Yep, same... I need to find out how to tame my hair like that, it's so pretty. 8) Make up a summary of a Three/Ten fanfic. ((Warning: Gay sex ahead, cause I don’t see Sirius not getting any action any time soon.)) Same 9) Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff? ((I hope not, but probably… people can be demented...)) Yep, I've seen it... read it... fascinating. 10) Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic. ((Time Warp Redemption, ‘cause that’s the only way it would be able to work unless James is a super stalker.)) Nope, same. 11) Does one of your friends read Three fics? ((Probably, George is awesome, and so is Fred!)) All of them. 12) Does anyone you know writes or draw Eleven? ((Nope!)) Nope!! 13) Would anyone of your friends write Two/Four/Five? ((Only if they were pining to shred the last of my nonexistent sanity)) Only if they included Three. 14) What might Ten scream at a moment of great passion? ((Whatever the name is of the girl he’s... well, you know... or maybe the name of the girl before her...)) "REMUS!!!" 15) If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose? ((Bringing Sexy Back! Cause Blaise is amazing, lol.)) Mmm... good idea... 16) If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be? ((Warning: If you want your sanity safely in place later, do not read this fic, you might die from the horror.)) One day, James Potter went out for a walk... then every reader's head exploded. 17) What would be a good pick-up line for Two to use on Ten? ((I don’t wanna, it’s sick and wrong, and they hate each other… hmmmmm, I wonder…)) "I've heard you're a horny bitch in bed." Oh Lucius... and dog puns. 18) How might Eleven describe a relationship between Two and Eight? ((Wrong, horribly, disturbingly wrong.)) "Whatever floats your boat." 19) How emo is Seven? ((Just a little bit and only in book six)) Not emo at all, just a narcissistic, megalomaniac-in-training that I want to jump in a dark corner of Hogwarts... Oh... did I just type that? Sorry. Things people do in their FanFictions that irk me: 1)Bad punctuation, grammar, and spelling, ugh it kills me, but I won't comment on it, just seath and rant on it later. 2) Randomly caps locking EVERY important word like THIS for absolutely NO reason! If your sentense is CORRECTLY written we can TELL what's supposed to stick out, promise, but AGAIN, I will not tell you, just seath and rant. 3) Descriptions of characters before the story starts because you couldn't figure out how to write it in. I think that if you want to write well you just can't do this, but I understand that it takes time because I did this at some point too, it's all in the process of learning to write. My advise, just try. 4) Randomly lackinga spacewhere there obviously shouldbe one. Sooooo notfun trying to decifer runonwords. 5) I have five words for you here, Marry Sues or Garry Stues, it's just the repetition of the same plot over and over again using models with different hair. 6) Using symbols such as the & sign in place of the actual word. That's great for short-hand and notes but in the final product you type out the word. 7) Using past tense in a present/future statment or vise versa as well as singular in a plural statement or vise versa. I had, I have, and I will have are not the same, along with woman and women. 8) Character names and descriptions. If they are from the world you are writing in and you have not stated a reason for the change (i.e. This is a what if Harry were born a girl, so his name is now Susan.) than don't make the change. The one I find most frequently is from Harry Potter to a side character names Blaise Zabini, who is constantly confused for being one or a combination of these changes listed: a. His last name is changed to Zambini, Zambin, Zabin, or one of many other changes. b. He is mistaken for a white boy, when it is mentioned he is black. c. He is suddenly made into a girl or combined with Pansy Parkinson because the person was to lazy to write a black boy and a clingy girl so Blaise becomes a black and clingy girl. d. There are cases, though thankfully they are rare, that you meet Miss Blaise Zambini, the preppy clingy white chick Draco's known from childhood... just no... |