Good day.

Edith Hickory’s the name. My name. My age? Weeeeeell...Not old. I'm a proud Italian stuck in Canada with the polar bears who loves old films, and the old people in them! Being:

Charlie Chaplin

Buster Keaton

Harold Lloyd

Harry Langdon

Fatty Arbuckle

W.C. Fields

Al Jolson

James Cagney

Humphrey Bogart

Edward G. Robinson

Laurel and Hardy

Abbott and Costello

Three Stooges

Marx Brothers

Bowery Boys/Dead end Kids/East Side Kids

...To name a few. I'm not so keen on women, as I can't obsess over them like boys, except for the lovely Edna Purviance.

I also love other random historical figures, including:

Al Capone

Lucky Luciano

Baby Face Nelson

Pretty boy Floyd

John Dillinger

Bonnie and Clyde

Machine gun Kelly

Jesse James

Billy the Kid

Wright Brothers

Napoleon Bonaparte

Julia Child

Albert Einstein

My other likes and interests include samples at Costco, fuzzy socks, hot chocolate, spaghetti, writing, reading, and cruising around town with Supertramp or Pavarotti blasting.

I hate vegetables of any kind, my mild O.C.D, long line-ups at Wal Mart, poopy movies, the smell of stale popcorn, milk burps, school (I'm home-schooled; lucky me!), my sister in a bad mood, and being paranoid that either Groucho Marx or Humphrey Bogart are hiding in my shower reading a newspaper. And I'm serious about that last part. It's an actual case of O.C.D.

My favourite singers/bands are Simon and Garfunkel, Led Zeppelin, Journey, The Eagles, Meatloaf, Al Jolson, Mika, P!nk, Supertramp (if you don't know who they are...find out), Queen, and Heart.

I love the films The Kid, Steamboat Bill Jr, Long Pants, The Freshman, The Garage, It's a Gift, Hallelujah I'm a bum, White Heat, Invisible Stripes, Little Caesar, The Devil's brother, Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein, A Night at the Opera, A Clockwork Orange, Edward Scissorhands, all the Spider-Mans, Beaches, Horton Hears a who!, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, The King's Speech, Star Wars: A new Hope, Bonnie and Clyde, Monsters Inc, and Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian.

I write mainly in the bathtub. I won't be bothered there.

I am also scared of killer whales. Ever since I was four.

I also talk to myself and there's nothing you can do about it. I’ve seen the best three doctors in the east.

My nicknames include: Edie, Bubaloo, Pumpkin Noodle.

My biggest dreams ever are to become a writer, travel to Italy to see where my Grandma was born, travel to San Fransisco to see Alcatraz, travel to Israel to see the Wailing Wall, write letters to every single person in my family I know, and see all of James Cagney's films.

Me on deviantART: http:///

My tumblr: http:///

“A day without laughter is a day wasted.”

-Charlie Chaplin

“Made it, Ma! Top of the world!”

-James Cagney

“Its a lot of weather weve been having lately.”

-Stanley Laurel

“Courage is like love; it must have hope for nourishment.”

-Napoleon Bonaparte

“I stick with my friends and my friends stick with me.”

-John Dillinger

“GET IN THE KITCHEN NOW!...”

-My mom

“Oh, she’s got big boobies, eh?”

-My aunt Fertunia

“My dad drinks a lot...Like, milk and juice and stuff.”

-My cousin Chloe

“You know what, baby? THEY have to fit into YOUR world. You can't fit into theirs. You understand me, honey?"

-My uncle Johnny

I'm SMART so I MUST be bad at sports.

I LOOK IN THE MIRROR EVERY TIME I USE THE BATHROOM so I MUST be vain
and shallow.

I EAT ORGANIC so I MUST be a vegetarian

I'm a VEGETARIAN so I MUST be a tree-hugging hippe and I MUST think
all meat-eaters should be shot

I'm an ATHEIST so I must be anti-Christian

I SUPPORT HILLARY CLINTON so I MUST be a whiny bitch

I have ASPERGER'S SYNDROME so I MUST be a self-centered retard

I have a MENTAL DISORDER so I MUST be a criminal.

I am SKINNY so I MUST be annorexic.

I'm BLACK so I MUST carry a gun

I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed

I'm HATIAN so I MUST eat cat

I'm ASIAN so I MUST be sexy

I'm JEWISH so I MUST be greedy

I'm an ARAB so I MUST be a terrorist

I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER so I WILL go to hell

I'm a CHRISTIAN so I MUST be a homophobe

I'm RELIGIOUS so I MUST shove my beliefs down everyone's throat

I'm REPUBLICAN so I MUST hate poor people

I'm IN MIDDLE SCHOOL so I MUST be immature

I am LIBERAL so I MUST be gay

I am LIBERAL so I MUST think all conservatives should be shot

I'm a DEMOCRAT so I MUST hate Republicans

I TAKE ANTI-DEPRESSANTS so I MUST be emo

I TAKE ANTI-DEPRESSANTS so I MUST be crazy

I'm a GUY so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH so I MUST have a drinking problem.

I'm INDIAN so I MUST own a convenience store

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN so I MUST dance around a fire

I'm a CHEERLEADER so I MUST be a whore

I'm a DANCER so I MUST be a stupid, stuck-up whore

I WEAR SKIRTS A LOT so I MUST be a slut.

I'm a PUNK so I MUST do drugs

I'm RICH so I MUST be a conceited snob

I'm CUBAN so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars

I'm NOT A VIRGIN so I MUST be easy

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore

I'm a TEENAGE MOM so I MUST be an irrisponsible slut

I'm POLISH so I MUST wear socks with my sandals

I'm ITALIAN so I MUST have a "big one"

I'm EGYPTIAN so I MUST be a terrorist

I'm PRETTY so I MUST NOT be a virgin

I HAVE STRIGHT "A"S so I MUST have no social life

I'm into THEATER AND ART so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN so I MUST be a crazy political activist

I have BIG BOOBS so I MUST be a ho

I'm COLUMBIAN so I MUST be a drug dealer

I'm RUSSIAN so I MUST be cool

I'm GERMAN so I MUST be a Nazi

I hang out with GAYS so I MUST be gay, too

I'm BRAZILLAN so I MUST have a big butt

I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be a prude.

I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be ugly.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.

I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas

Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.

Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff

I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks

I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7

I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals

I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.

I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA

I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect

I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black

I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.

I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control

I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.

I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.

I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.

I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon

I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.

I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.

I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.

I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.

I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.

I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.

I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.

I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.

I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and
drink too.

I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.

I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social. (I am, though xD)

I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.

I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.

My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.

I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.

I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.

I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.

I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.

I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse

I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.

I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.

I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.

I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.

I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.

I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak

I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.

I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep

I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirt.

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.

I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.

I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers. (I do!)

I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.

I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to
castrate every man on the earth.

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.

I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.

I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and
is A MURDERER!

I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent,
love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.

I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.

I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.

I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.

I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.

I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins

I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan

I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion.

I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.

I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.

I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.

I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or
MISGUIDED.

I DISAGREE with my government so I MUST be a
TERRORIST.

I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.

I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.

I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.

I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast.

I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish

I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.

I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.

I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.

I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.

I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s

I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up
with the times

I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.

I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.

I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.

I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak

.I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.

I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.

I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.

I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling
perfectionist.

I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst
into tears at one mistake.

I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having
problems.

I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist.

I play VIDEO GAMES so I MUST be a LOSER

I'm EMO so I must cut my wrists.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be mean.

I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.

I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.

I like to be LOVED so I MUST be a Lesbian, Hippy or Gay.

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED

If you love silent movies, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that silent comedy films have a special quality that talkies don't, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that 1910 to 1928 was the Golden Age of Film Making, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love the films of Chaplin or Keaton or Langdon or Chase or Linder or Laurel and Hardy or the Three Stooges or the Marx Brothers, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love the music of Johnny Cash, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love the films of John Wayne, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that the 50's and 60's were the Golden Age of Television, copy and paste this into your profile

“The Trail’s end” By: Bonnie Parker

You've read the story of Jesse James
of how he lived and died.
If you're still in need;
of something to read,
here's the story of Bonnie and Clyde.

Now Bonnie and Clyde are the Barrow gang
I'm sure you all have read.
how they rob and steal;
and those who squeal,
are usually found dying or dead.

There's lots of untruths to these write-ups;
they're not as ruthless as that.
their nature is raw;
they hate all the law,
the stool pigeons, spotters and rats.

They call them cold-blooded killers
they say they are heartless and mean.
But I say this with pride
that I once knew Clyde,
when he was honest and upright and clean.

But the law fooled around;
kept taking him down,
and locking him up in a cell.
Till he said to me;
"I'll never be free,
so I'll meet a few of them in hell"

The road was so dimly lighted
there were no highway signs to guide.
But they made up their minds;
if all roads were blind,
they wouldn't give up till they died.

The road gets dimmer and dimmer
sometimes you can hardly see.
But it's fight man to man
and do all you can,
for they know they can never be free.

From heart-break some people have suffered
from weariness some people have died.
But take it all in all;
our troubles are small,
till we get like Bonnie and Clyde.

If a policeman is killed in Dallas
and they have no clue or guide.
If they can't find a fiend,
they just wipe their slate clean
and hang it on Bonnie and Clyde.

There's two crimes committed in America
not accredited to the Barrow mob.
They had no hand;
in the kidnap demand,
nor the Kansas City Depot job.

A newsboy once said to his buddy;
"I wish old Clyde would get jumped.
In these awful hard times;
we'd make a few dimes,
if five or six cops would get bumped"

The police haven't got the report yet
but Clyde called me up today.
He said, “Don’t start any fights;
we aren't working nights,
we're joining the N.R.A."

From Irving to West Dallas viaduct
is known as the Great Divide.
Where the women are kin;
and the men are men,
and they won't "stool" on Bonnie and Clyde.

If they try to act like citizens
and rent them a nice little flat.
About the third night;
they're invited to fight,
by a sub-gun's rat-tat-tat.

They don't think they're too smart or desperate
they know that the law always wins.
They've been shot at before;
but they do not ignore,
that death is the wages of sin.

Some day they'll go down together
they'll bury them side by side.
To few it'll be grief,
to the law a relief
but it's death for Bonnie and Clyde

Bonnie Elizabeth Parker-10.01.1005.23.34

Clyde Chestnut 'Champion' Barrow-03.24.0905.23.34

Gone but not forgotten

Of course, I own nothing I write. If I did, do you think I'd be here?