I've developed an obsession for updating my profile...I knew I shouldn't have started.

I think I've also developed a tendency to join fandoms well after their heyday. Hmm. It's so lonely on this side..

The reason why I won't elaborate on how much I love Valdemar is because I haven't yet figured out how to write Tremane's name in hearts.

To everyone who's actually bothering to read this, you mean so much to me...but I won't recognize you on the street. But maybe if I did, that would be more disturbing.

I'm actually not that great at prose, script is more my style. That said, just want to post some snippets of things I might write in the future, but may or may not get the chance to actually use, due to time/plot constraints (the latter being the more damning, obviously):

SNIPPETS (updated 3-13-13)

From A Spy's Choice: (updated 11-19-10)

The adventures of Kerchen and Valdemarans

Magdee: This is "tisane."
Kerchen: *practices* titsane, tinsane, insane...? Tchain...
Magdee: Um, just call it herbal tea.

Dieder: We're friends right, Kerchen?
Kerchen: What are friends?
Dieder: ...

Magdee: Oh you children will like this tea!
Dieder and Kerchen: *drink*
Magdee: Lemon and orange peel, with a hint of cinnamon!
Kerchen: It's good!
Dieder: Tcha! I like manlier drinks... ...*takes another sip*

Magdee: Oh you children will like this tea!
Dieder and Kerchen: *drink*
Magdee: Anise and ginger, with a hint of willowbark!
Kerchen: It's... ...interesting.
Dieder: ye gods where's the privy

Dieder: Look, it's a Herald! ...oi Kerchen, why ya hiding like that--and why'd ya take out that knife??

Kerchen: Dieder, I have a confession to make...I'm Karsite.
Dieder: Ooh, so that's why ya surround yerself with garlic and pray all day whenever Magdee goes to a Heraldic hearing?
Kerchen: *instinctively reaches for garlic at the word Heraldic*
Dieder: um, I guess that's a yes...

Kerchen: *in the house, poring over maps*
Dieder: *comes around the corner wearing a white tablecloth* BOO!
Kerchen: *whips out a knife and throws it* Sunlord--!
Dieder: *stares at the tablecloth now pinned to the wall* Kernos' tits!!

At a shady tavern*
Dieder: 'ey Kerchen! Le's show tha' bastid wat's wat!
Kerchen: I wish talk like that you wouldn't, I don't understand...
Dieder: *swipes the beer mug from the offending drunkard and laughs as the man gropes for his missing cup*
Kerchen: Dieder, stealing is wrong.
Drunkard: *notices Dieder because he's an awful thief* 'ey you--wassit you, ya bastid?!
Dieder: No it ain't! I wudn't touch yer pisswater!
Kerchen: Dieder, lying is wrong.
Drunkard: *howls and throws wild punches* Han' it over!
Kerchen: *gets up and kicks him out of commission* Attacking a child is wrong.
Dieder: Kerchen...I ain't ever sure wat ya really think of me.

At another shady tavern*
Dieder: 'ey Kerchen, why ya starin' at that sell-sword?
Alberich: ...
Kerchen: He looks Karsite. I should try talking to him in Karsite.
Dieder: Oi, that don't soun' smart--'ey, come back 'ere!
Alberich: *backhands the nearest drunkard and starts up a brawl*
Kerchen: =
Dieder: *drags him out* Oi let's git outta here!

At yet another shady tavern*
Dieder and Kerchen: *watch tables fly and mugs crash everywhere*
Dieder: Kerchen--we really gotta stop comin' t' shady taverns.

At Magdee's*
Dieder: Watchoo doing?
Kerchen: I'm reading
Dieder: 'ey, yer book is upside down
Kerchen: *curses* That's why no sense it made!
Dieder: Y'know, I got this weird feelin' that, even if ya flipped it right side up, ya still wudn't get it

At Magdee's, after Kerchen has left*
Dieder: *pauses stuffing his face to stare at the empty seat next to him*
Dieder: Y'know, I kinda miss bein' yelled at all the time
Magdee: Don't talk with your mouth open!
Dieder: Or mebbe not

Magdee: I wonder where Kerchen is now. Maybe he was Chosen!
Dieder: Well, he sure was a stick in the mud. Oh, and then maybe I'll git Chosen and then we'd go to the Collegia t'gether!
Magdee: hahahahahhaha ha ah hahaha ah ah HA HA HA ah ha ha ha ha
Dieder: ...Sure I was jokin', but now I'm kinda offended..

From Tales From Sendar's Time (updated 03-13-13)

Elyssa: You realize he's from Karse right? You don't know how dangerous he is..
Alys: He's a Herald! It'll be ok!
Elyssa: Uh, and your idea of stalking him until he notices you is kinda creepy. He might be scared off...
Alys: Oh you're right
Alys: Since he's from Karse, he won't be scared! We're a perfect match!
Elyssa: D8 *fit of apoplexy*
Eldren: Elyssa are you ok?!

Alys: *grabs Hannan* It's time Hannan!
Hannan: T-t-time for-wha-um--
Alys: Time to take over the profile page!
Hannan: huh?
Alys: If I'm gonna have to wait for my time to shine in a legit story I'm sure not gonna just sit around and twiddle my thumbs! Let's do it Hannan, let's fill up the profile page with our antics!
Hannan: A-antic? Um-wow-I'm not sure I'm ready for-I mean, if you want to-that's ok with me-hahaha, haha...
Alys: *lugs buckets of road chalk* What are you stuttering for?
Hannan: *sees chalk* ...oh... ...nothing.

Elcarth: Alright Kerchen, we have to place you in the appropriate level class, so try reading this
Kerchen: 1...5...3...4...4...
Elcarth: ...are you just reading the numbers

Alvira: Lady Bright, I'm so glad I have a Chosen! Now there's someone to brush me and take me out on walks and feed me any food I want-
Kerchen: Somehow I don't feel loved quite so much as used...

Alvira: IT'S RIDING TIME 8D
Kerchen: I don't know how--did you just throw me onto your back
Alvira: *gallops at full speed* 8D
Kerchen: *holds on with all his might* D8

Alys: whoa look at the new Trainee! He's riding backwards! Now even sideways across her flank! He's so talented!
Eldren: ...he looks like he's hanging on for dear life
Elyssa: huhu fall, little boy, fall! That's what Karsites do they fall!
Hannan: How can you call yourself a Trainee with that attitude?!

Kerchen: Oh...oh Sunlord...I can't get off...my legs aren't moving...great shining Lord of Light, get me off this horse--
Alvira: You're not dismounting Chosen-ooh, so you want to go AGAIN?!
Kerchen: No, I-
Alvira: 8D
Kerchen: *tries not to sob*

Dieder: Didja know Midwinter's comin' up? Ya better get Gramma Magdee a present!
Kerchen: Oh, I did not know that! Okay, yes. Are you getting her anything?
Dieder: Yep! I'm gonna give 'er some apples, so she kin make sum apple pies fer me
Kerchen: ...it sounds more like you are giving yourself a present.

at the market*
Kerchen: How about this rosehip tea? This lavender perfume? These pink heart ornaments? This purple scarf?
Seller: Well your companion has such a pale complexion, perhaps this blue will contrast better.
Kerchen: Wow, how did you know about my Companion?
Seller: oh I've got an eye for these things *wink*
Dieder: *catches his look* NO ya got it all wrong!

at the girls' bathing room*
Elyssa: Alys...
Alys: Yesh?
Elyssa: Aren't you fifteen now?
Alys: uh huh, what about it?
Elyssa: *throws a sponge at her* Why am I washing your hair for you?!

at the boys' bathing room*
Hannan: Eldren...
Eldren: Yes?
Hannan: Why are you washing my hair for me
Eldren: As conservative as ever I see..

Hannan: So, um, Alys, well uh, there's this troupe in town-er-and I hear they're really good...
Alys: A circus troupe? Oh Hannan, you're brilliant! I'll throw tickets into Alberich's path, bump into him at a show--like, "haha, what a coincidence!"--and then we'll have something in common to talk about! wow, thanks! *runs off*
Hannan: Um... D':
Eldren: *pats* It's ok Hannan, don't let it get to you

Dieder: Hey Ker wanna check out the market?
Kerchen: Of course, I still need to buy something.

end of day*
Dieder: I said 'let's check out the market' NOT LET'S PLAY VIGILANTE
Kerchen: What are you talking about? Looks I still did not find anything, so we will have to go later.
Dieder: Next time's gonna be the same thing agin I know it

Kerchen: You keep calling me a vigilante. What does that even mean?
Dieder: it's like, uh, a vigilante is like a citizen who punishes people instead of letting the courts handle that.
Kerchen: What is wrong with that? Why isn't everyone a vigilante?
Dieder: Well first off not everyone's got the chops...second, that's just too messy-no order yah? Imagine if every crazy out there thought it was ok to impose his law over all the commonfolk-that's no good.
Kerchen: Well of course if you didn't read the Writ, I suppose you would make sure that you both recognize the act as wrong.
Dieder: uh yeah sure

Kerchen: Alvira?
Alvira: Yes, Chosen?
Kerchen: I'm going to be a vigilante.
Alvira: _ (...there's a lot of things I could say here)

Elyssa: Valdemar is founded on a single principle. Remember, this principle is that "there is no one true way"-
Alys: To eat a Reese's!
Elyssa: NO!

Eldren: Are you getting presents for your family?
Elyssa: Presents, hm? I suppose it wouldn't be a bad idea..
*later*
Elyssa: *comes back with her arms full of swords and halberds* Eldren, which three of these should I get?
Eldren: Hm...have you considered something a little more festive?

Dieder: *preening to a girl* So I know this great pub backaways, you should join me sometime..
Kerchen: Dieder, do you think the blue vase or the purple vase would be better?
Girl: oh! ...I should go now
Dieder: wait no!! ...*turns around* NONE OF THEM GO AWAY D':
Kerchen: You're right, neither is the right shade to match her red decor
Dieder: *sobs*

Elyssa: Alright Eldren, how about this one?
Eldren: Elyssa you're just showing me another sword
Elyssa: This one has berry bushes on the hilt
Eldren: *scratches his head* Perhaps we should start looking at things that aren't murder weapons?

Hannan: S-s-so, um, the weather is, um, nice...
Girl: Ye-es, it is.
Hannan: *slightly emboldened* Er, a-a-a-a-and so are you!...r hats, they look warm.
Girl: (I'm glad that merchant boy is paying me for this)

at the training grounds..*
Alys: *bonk* Ack, sorry!
Alys: *bonk* Ack, sorry!
Alys: *bonk* Ack, sorry!
Kerchen: If you were anyone else, I would definitely say you were doing this on purpose.

Dieder: Oi Kerchen, where'd you get that black eye from?
Kerchen: Alys kept accidentally hitting me with her stave during practice
Dieder: haha! You were beaten up by a girl! hahahahahahaha!!!!
Magdee: How old are you, eight?

Alys: You know, I'm actually really good at fishing!
Dieder: oh yah?
Alys: Yeah! One time I caught a fish THIS BIG *whips out her hands sideways and clocks Kerchen in the face*
Alys: o_o Kerchen, I'm so sorry!
Kerchen: It's ok...I'm used to it now

Dieder: Well, one time I caught a fish THIS BIG *whips out his hands sideways to copy Alys*
Kerchen: *grabs Dieder's approaching wrist and flips him onto the ground*
Dieder: OUCH! 'ey, what gives!

Hannan: I got the perfect gift! A box of chocolates from the most famous chocolatier in Valdemar!
Hannan: I waited in line for hours *sniff* saved up two moons' worth of allowance *sniff* but I've been rewarded!
Erron: Good work, Chosen!
Hannan: Ok, now time to give it to- *spots a beggar and his child*
Child: Mama, I'm hungry
Beggar: shh everything will be ok...
Hannan: ...
*a few minutes later*
Hannan: *is emptyhanded* ... *sniff*

Hannan: *holds up a blanket proudly* This is the perfect gift! I saw Alys looking at it the other day, it's one of a kind, super warm, and I've finally saved up enough to buy it!
Erron: Good work, Chosen!
Hannan: *spots a girl out of the corner of his eye*
Girl: *hugs a small boy close to her* It's ok, I didn't need that blanket. You give me all the warmth I need
Hannan: ...
*a few minutes later*
Hannan: *is emptyhanded* ... *sniff*
Erron: Oh Chosen...your plights are almost comically tragic

Alys: Weapons Second Alberich, how did you feel about coming to Valdemar?
Alberich: ...I-
Alys: Weapons Second Alberich, do you get along with the Weaponsmaster?
Alberich: ...Ye-
Alys: Weapons Second Alberich, have you ever kissed a girl?
Alberich: ...
Alys: ...
Alberich: (why is she asking that and why did she run out of questions to ask there)

Jedeth: Peasant!
Alys: Snob!
Jedeth: Fool!
Alys: Idiot!
Jedeth: Mongrel!
Alys: uh I know you are but what am I!
Jedeth: wha-you immature brat!
Alys: I know you are but WHAT AM I!
Jedeth: HNNNGH
Dieder: ya almost feel bad fer 'im, huh
Kerchen: mhm

At Hasenhower manse...*
Mother: Oh dear, you're so brilliant!
Father: Hahaha! Not as brilliant as your eyes, my darling!
Mother: Ooh I'm blushing!
Elyssa: oh bright Astera help me.

Alys: So what's our story about? I haven't found the plot yet. When am I going to battle some super evil dude and win against all odds because I suddenly awaken some super strong Gift?
Elyssa: It's about the ordinary nothings of good for nothings
Alys: haha you're pulling my leg right?
Elyssa: Well...I'm good for something...
Alys: ...hey...

Alys: It's Thanksgiving!
Kerchen: What's that?
Alys: A holiday that makes it ok to gain weight! If you're not fattening, you're not celebrating!
Dieder: OO sounds like my kinda holiday!
Kerchen: *looks stressed* ...I must gain weight...I have to practice eating more...
Alys: uh...don't worry about it Kerchen, it's not mandatory..

Alys: Check out this bell! Isn't it pretty?
Dieder: So ya like bells?
Alys: Yeah!
Hannan: ...(she likes bells)...
*later*
Hannan: *walks through town* I have bells :D
*CLING CLING CLING CLING CLING*
*later*
Eldren: Hannan, you got arrested for noise pollution?!
Hannan: *sniff* and they banned me from carrying bells!

Alys: It's almost Christmas!
Kerchen: What's that?
Alys: Like Valentine's Day, a time that makes it socially mandatory to buy overpriced gifts so you don't look bad when other people give you awesomer gifts that are also out of their budget!
Dieder: Or you could be like me an' get cheap gifts an' not care about yer image. By the way Ker', here's an apple I got from Magdee
Alys: For this momentous annual occasion, I've brought this from the depths of the exotic market! *waves around mistletoe* Traditionally, if two people are under this magical plant, they must kiss! Otherwise it'd be socially unacceptable! I shall hang it over *Alberich*'s door and wander by it in the morning until he walks out the door!
Kerchen: ...there seems to be a lot of socially unacceptable things here...

Dad: And then I punched him in the nose-see that stain on the wall there? That's the only mark he'll ever leave here, besides his pride of course!
Mom: Dear, you're confused, that's from when Elyssa was born-
Elyssa: WHAT

Elyssa: *takes a deep breath* It's good to be back at the Collegium. Crisp and lively, just like how I left it-
Alys: Hey Elyssa! I want you to meet my new friend, Dieder!
Dieder: Yo! Can I take ya out fer lunch? We'll split the bill.
Elyssa: what

Kerchen: Um...hello.
Elyssa: D: what do you want?
Alys: Hey, don't be mean to him!
Elyssa: You know him?
Alys: yeah! He helps me put on makeup!
Elyssa: He w-w-w-wha??

Alys: Oh look, it's Jedeth!
Elyssa: What.
Alys: HI JEDETH!!
Elyssa: Alys have you gone mad?
Jedeth: ...hello.
Elyssa: *watches him walk away normally* o_O
Elyssa: Alys, what happened while I was gone?
Alys: Funny you should ask! You should read the current arc.

Alys: Where is that woman! Why hasn't she updated yet! I'm not getting any younger here! What if Alberich won't take me as his bride anymore?!
Elyssa: We have to back up here- there were too many things wrong with that statement.
Alys: Surely school couldn't be THAT much work? How much more school is she going to have until she's satisfied?
Elyssa: Well, she's hit a tricky part of the story...as in she's not sure whether she should keep it or not.
Alys: Keep it, because I'm heavily involved!
Elyssa: I think it should be scrapped, it's just more digressions...and more of that Karsite...
Alys: Maybe in the end, Alberich will see what a wonderful person I am and take me under his wing! Then in his be-
Elyssa: STOP! This is PG-13! What is wrong with you!

Alys: IT'S AN UPDATE!
Elyssa: nooo!! Why was it this story!
Alys: Guess my star's just high in the sky, eh?!
Elyssa: Oh shut it, the only thing in that chapter about you was how you talk so incessantly!
Alys: NUH UH-oh wait...

Alys: IT'S AN UPDATE! And look, I'm awesome in it!
Elyssa: Wait that can't be right
Alys: heeeey...

Alys: She's abaaaaandoned uuuuus!!! *sobs*
Elyssa: Calm down Alys, she just has two summer jobs
Alys: *sniff*...do you think she's going to update?
Elyssa: Yes, of course
Alys: ...do you think I'm ever going to marry Alberich
Elyssa: No.

Alys: Hey, check out this character that shares my name!
Elyssa: No, we cannot hunt her down-
Alys: I wasn't going to say that! It's written by Lois McMaster Bujold, and this Alys is this awesome lady who does everything right and proper and has amazing style! She even has affairs in style!
Elyssa: oh well I guess we won't mess her up with you, then.
Alys: What's that supposed to mean

Alys: This is what limbo feels like...
Elyssa: ...it's been 84 years...
Dieder: Oi, wat's with all the long looks?
Alys: She hasn't updated in AGES! Why are you so chipper?
Dieder: Well whenever she writes, she makes me look dumb
Elyssa: But you are dumb
Dieder: ...hey...

Alys: Look! She's uploaded her first piece of character art! But why is it Kerchen when we were made first?
Elyssa: Look at him, wearing those Grays like they were Whites..
Alys: I think the scanner messed that up...whatever a scanner is!

Alys: Ok, how about this one? It's got all of us and not him...though it'll be replaced with a better scan soon (whatever a scan is!)
Elyssa: Oh? Who's that in the back then?
Alys: Well, couldn't be a Trainee and his Companion...no way would a pair look so undignified!