* * * * * ON HIATUS * * * * *

(a little)

The move has not gone as smoothly as I had hoped. Oh, well. UPDATE: The move *still* has not gone as smoothly as I had hoped. There was a roof leak, a loss of books, a loss of bookcases, an issue with my cat bunking with my daughter & son-in-law for wayyyyy too long... I just signed a new lease, and am only 1/8 unpacked from moving in. Maybe 1/6. I post when I can, mostly to keep what little sanity I still have.

9/13: Well, I'm still so torqued off about the end of season 10 (which I still haven't seen and still don't want to see) that I'm having a hard time writing any NCIS tales, even in my universe. So I'm trying to pull an old tale from the depths of my memory and bring it back to life. It's a little weird, but fun. But I have no hard copy, no disks (I wrote this back in the days of dual floppy 5-1/4 disks) so I'm having to excavate. *watch this space* lol

4/15: Still some minor chaos in the universe, so I'm not writing or uploading as much stuff as I'd like. But in addition to the occasional vignette glimmers I am working on a couple of Ducky and Sandy tales that are multi-chapter tales. (I know I said "CHAOS" was the last long story and there would only be vignettes in "My Life" to follow. I was wrong. One is in the 10-12 chapter range, the other is 5-8. Hope to have both at the final draft/publication stage by...July? One of them was halfway done and I thought I would finish it by the end of January... and then the ceiling fell in. No, really, just past midnight on January 1/2. Scared the peewadding out of me, but the cat just got up, turned around and went back to sleep. Just part of the fun when you live in a former tortilla factory that had been empty for 5 years. Except for the drug den squatters--but they didn't pay rent, so the management company doesn't count them (explains the damage to the door frame, though).)

NOTE ABOUT ANONYMOUS REVIEWS: I can understand leaving an anonymous review because FF won't let you log in (been there, done that). If you leave a screen name on an anonymous review, I don't consider that anonymous. But, as a whole, I dislike anonymous reviews. If you haven't the courage of your convictions to put your name to it... why say (write) it? It's not like Sherlock is keeping an eye on things.*

reference his discussion with Mary's ex-boyfriend. David: They're right about you. You're a bloody psychopath. Sherlock: High-functioning sociopath... with your number.

Feel free to drop me a line. I ask only one thing: PLEASE have your PM or email setting enabled!
It is quite vexing to want to reply to someone only to have the computer sneer, "PMs disabled."

Thanking you in advance, I remain,
Yr obdt svt,

Aunt Kitty

June 2011 update: With the new changes FF has made to the PM screen, please feel free to SEND ME AN EMAIL instead of using the PM screen. I'm undecided as to whether the screen looks like a badly made crazy quilt--or an acid flashback without the drugs. (I have been informed it's probably an attempt to look like the iPhone text messaging screen. Memo to self, don't ever buy an iPhone...) Plus, I use my cell phone for most of my web browsing and if I can access PMs once out of fifteen times (let alone get the system to let me reply...), it's a miracle. Please. Please. Email. (I have clicked the "email enabled" button for my profile, so there shouldn't be a problem.)

Standing on my soapbox...

Those who cannot read are not much worse off than those who can—and don’t.
Proofread. Please. Those who do read will thank you.
Please don’t breed without thought for the rest of the world. Gaia weeps over the Octomom and the Duggars. (This goes for your cats and dogs, too.)
I am the queen of parenthetical comments, princess of dashes and first minister of ellipses. Rules can be broken if you first know the rules.
Never try to outstubborn a cat. (Please note screen name. Thank you.)
Sarcasm is my second language.
Cynicsm is my third.
I am probably old enough to be your mother--or, at the very least, your exceedingly irritated aunt. (You! Sit down and knock it off, right now!)
There’s a little Mary Sue in every piece of fan writing. Good grief, I scored higher on the Mary Sue quiz than my character did!

Now, I'm not the type to whine and beg for reviews. Nor will I hold a story hostage ("If I don't see reviews, I won't post the next chapter!"). I'm not looking for blind adoration, but neither do I care for unwarranted blasting. But I would be interested to see what did or did not work for you. You don't know a recipe isn't working until someone says, "I like the concept, but the end result cookies were so overly sweet you could go into a diabetic coma just walking past the cookie jar." (Agreed. They were a bit much.)

* * * * * ON HIATUS * * * * *

...ish.

"Secret Santa: Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better" - My only non-Ducky story. This was written as part of the Jibbs Christmas exchange, headed by the utterly delightful Miss Jayne. Since it's posted one place, I can't post it under my name, so here is the link: http://www.fanfiction.ws/s/6610599/14/All_I_Want_For_Christmas_Is_Jibbs Apologies for the formatting problems; it suffered in transmission, and got to Miss Jayne literally at the last moment. There are more typos than you can shake a stick at... but, hey, it still makes me laugh. Hope it gives you a giggle, too.

"Secret Santa: Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better (The Sequel)" - Okay, my SECOND non-Ducky story. Once again, Miss Jayne managed to gently strongarm me into the Jibbs Christmas exchange. (She said "please." See what good manners get you? Cooperative writers.) She'll be posting on Christmas, I'll put the link here as I did for the 2010 entry. Warning--it's a lot longer than the first one (though those of you who have slogged through Enharmonic Interval will find it a snap, LOL). ETA: The stories haven't been posted because Miss Jayne is still waiting for some of the submissions (so much for the 12/25 deadline). They should be posted fairly soon. She hopes. 1/28/12 Yikes! It posted and I didn't know about it! http://www.fanfiction.ws/s/7698242/19/Dreaming_of_a_Jibbs_Christmas

"Secret Santa: Reindeer Games" - Miss Jayne is very good at getting people to do stories for her Jibbs Christmas exchange. Considering I "ship" Jibbs only slightly more than I do Tiva (okay, that % is a negative number), she is very, very, good at getting people to join. She should go into politics. http://www.fanfiction.ws/s/8866565/8/Jibbsfest-Secret-Santa

"Enharmonic Interval" ... Story removed on 9-11-2010 After several requests, I have decided to repost EI. This will give me a chance to correct all those typos--and a couple of continuity errors. (And if you see typos that have slipped by, please don't hesitate to bring them to my attention. Normally I print out a story to catch errors--but this thing is long. The last time I printed it, it was 3" thick. I ran through two cartridges (on draft output!) and there was no such thing as a chapter break. I can't afford to do this twice!) (They can have continuity errors on the show all they want--I want my stories as accurate as I can make them.)

"Daydreams" - Very short little snippet about how difficult it is to be in love with a colleague... from afar. COMPLETE (ETA: Oh, please, do you really think it's Tiva? As Buggs would say, "He don't know me vewwy well, do he?") Jael has requested a sequel. Working on it...

Unnamed story--just a germ of an idea, Ducky (oh, come on, who else?) and his new house. Good thing he talks to the dead, because the late owner hasn't quite moved out--or on. It's summer in Tucson, so if I write a paragraph a day it's a pleasant shock. Don't look for this for a while (for a LONG while). Tentative title: THE TIME OF NIGHT ("Now is the time of night/That the graves, all gaping wide,/Every one lets forth his sprite/In the church-ways paths to glide." William Shakespeare, “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” Puck (Act 5, Scene 1)). I'm working on an outline when I get tired of packing. It's easy to get tired of packing... Unfortunately, the responsible grownup in me demands that I do What I'm Supposed To Do, not What I Want To Do. So I've added about two paragraphs to the outline... 4/15: still muddling through with this one. Not a lot of progress, sorry.

DUCKY AND SANDY TALES:

"TGIF" is complete and has been reposted under my screen name, now that I know what I'm doing on the site. This is the story that started it all... Written for a writing challenge by Losing Track (I was stuck--beyond stuck--on Enharmonic Interval and took the challenge as a way to force myself to write. Little did I know, Sandy would turn out to be popular--and chatty. COMPLETE. Story edited on 9-11-2010 (removal of lyrics)

"OHIM (or) TGIF: After the Ball" - Several people contacted me and said they liked the story BUT... they really wanted some "quality" Ducky time. No problem. This picks up where TGIF left off, and will explain at least one membership card in the Mile High Club as well. COMPLETE

"Life Is What Happens To You While You're Busy Making Other Plans," sequel to TGIF and OHIM - It's getting there, it's getting there, it's almost done! My gracious, there's even a plot. Almost complete, so I felt comfortable posting the first chapter. Will update 1-2 chapters a week; total 9 (maybe 10). Updated 3/13: Well, it turned out to be 11 chapters and I *do* apologize for both the lag between 10 and 11 and the length of 11. There were things that had to be included for the sequel and the constraints of the title meant the last chapter was a doozie. I hereby promise to never, ever post anything that's in progress, I will wait until it's complete. (Oh, yes. COMPLETE.) Which brings us to...

"CHAOS—It's Not Just For Mathematicians Anymore!" - Sorry, but there's going to be a definite wait on this one. As I said, I will NEVER AGAIN post anything in progress; right now, I have the beginning 4 pages and a hint of a plot. In the meantime, let your imagination run rampant. Updated 4/23: It's amazing the wealth of information possessed by some of my friends. My research time was cut down appreciably. The outline is complete, chapters are roughed out, first drafts of several chapters are done and I hope to start posting in May. Of course, given the prior story was titled "Life Is What Happens To You While You're Busy Making Other Plans"... that May commitment is written lightly in sand, not carved in stone. Updated 5/28: Life got in the way. Sorry. Hope to start posting within two weeks. (In a word: contractors.) Updated 6/5: Okay! It has a title (CHAOS—It's Not Just For Mathematicians Anymore!), first two chapters are up. Will be posting one or two per weekend. And, yes, this is the last story in the series. Funny how something that was a one-shot (what, a year and a half ago?) became the focus of my writing. But it was fun. 7/30: Apologies for the delays; final chapters should be up this weekend (barring any fresh disasters). 8/6: COMPLETE--and given the number of hits and visitors vs. the number of reviews, PMs and emails... boy, the ending must have pissed off a lot of people. Sorry about that. 8/20: Sandy won't shut up. Not another chapter, per se, and definitely not another story--but there will be a little addenda. (See "My Life.")

"My Life Would Run Much More Smoothly If I Had A Copy Of The Script" - A series of vignettes featuring Ducky, Cassandra and the rest of the crew, friends and family--currently up to [insert ever-changing number here] and Sandy shows no intention of shutting up. I swore there wouldn't be any more stories after "Chaos"--and, technically, I'm still right. This is not a multi-chapter tale; it's a whole bunch of post-its. Most are stolen from real life--tales told out of school about my daughter, my siblings, my friends, my friends' kids, li'l ole me... if you're bored, try to figure out who was the source! (Dang, I was really hoping people would try to guess on chapter #68...)

"The Vast, Terrible In-Between" - Technically a vignette with Ducky & Sandy and *could* have gone in the "My Life" folder... but it wasn't as cute and fluffy as most of those stories are. (No, I do not consider house fires cute and fluffy... but compared with what shows up in "Vast," a house fire could be a cakewalk. A number if inquiries about continuing the story; I'll be honest and say, "I don't know." I haven't a plot for a full story, and will not, absolutely will not start a story if I don't know if it might not be finished.

"Watch Out For Shadows, Sometimes They Move When You're Not Looking At Them" - Followup to "The Vast, Terrible In-Between." Turns out there was something more to the tale. Apologies for the lag between chapters 4 and 5 being posted.

Okay... I said there would be no more long tales of Ducky and Sandy. And, so far, all there have been are a lot of "My Life" snippets and the very odd "Shadows" set. Maybe I shouldn't even mention it, but... there is an atom of a germ of an idea. But it's taking a bit of research and is dark. So don't look for posting anytime soon. I'll keep you posted on the bio page.

Random Favorites:

Fanzine (it's too easy to post fanfic on the net and mark it as a favorite; I'm only listing the old fashioned kind of fanfic, the stuff we typed, printed, collated, bound and mailed or schlepped to a convention to sell) (Is it any wonder "Power Down" is a favorite NCIS episode?): Tales of Feldman; More Tales of Feldman; One-Way Mirror. There would be more but, alas, most of my fanzines went the way of many personal possessions: into the landfill (not by my hand, I assure you), so it's hard to remember the titles. I do remember some of the illos--something online fancfic needs, IMO.

Composer: Bach (yes, that explains the email address).

Favorite computer game: Backgammon.

Favorite non computer game: Scrabble and Boggle, because I lose on a regular basis--but learn so much in doing so.

Favorite paper game or puzzle: Logic puzzles.

Best disclaimer (emailed to me, so I don't know the author, sorry):

Disclaimer: I own nothing. CBS owns The Mentalist, FOX owns Bones and MTV is responsible for the seventh sign of the Apocalypse known as Jersey Shore.

Best (local/Arizona) bumper sticker:

Pot Got More Votes Than Jan Brewer