A dirty satchel. A wrong turn. A lock that won't pop. And a woman in a bathtub. Trapped by a miscalculation, Beni's only hope for escaping certain imprisonment is a stranger's unlikely plan. [one shot. rated for language.]

Look at the fire, and think of me. — Delia/Alanna/Alex.

Evelyn saw a butterfly land on a nearby flower and perch delicately, its wings moving silently to a rhythm only it could hear. Then the clouds moved and the butterfly and flower disappeared.

A year after the events of Hamunaptra, Pyrrah Ananka is in a spot of trouble. A sinister cult is forming in Egypt, and it's up to she and Ardeth Bay to stop their rise to power. But when meddling Medjai families, twelve potential brides, annoying Hungarian men and a baby falcon are thrown into the mix, are the duo going to save the world or break beneath the odds? Ardeth/OC

In the campus of Middle-Earth University lies the Fellowship Café, the famous coffee and Legolas's delicious vegan friendly (who knew?) baked goods. Owned by none other than Gandalf the Grey, the café is the employment place of many of the students, and the greatest place to get a rather decent cup of coffee to get students through the misery of University.

A hobbit in dire need of health insurance, a bumbling gardener, a senile wizard, a klutzy ranger, a prissy elf and a horny elf maiden with a speech impediment… it can only be a shameless parody of Peter Jackson’s movie trilogy!

The only thing they had in common were their enormous egos, so it was only inevitable that they would soon collide with each other. Oneshot.

Women, religion, respect and rats: subjects they thought they'd never be discussing with each other. Oneshot.

All her life, Hattie O'Connell has been able to manipulate people to do whatever she pleases. So why is this desert chieftain playing hard to get? If you've been waiting for a sister character who actually changes things in the plot of TM, here she is.

An aspiring Egyptologist looking to pursue her dreams, Pyrrah Ananka is currently serving as the overworked assistant of Jonathan Carnahan. When Jonathan and his sister Evie set off on a journey to the lost city of Hamunaptra, Perry is eager to go with them; the unbelievable adventure she is thrust into, however, was not one she had been expecting. Ardeth/OC

A tale of two marriages. Evelyn reluctantly agrees to marry Beni for the sake of her father's career, despite strong feelings for Rick O'Connell. Meanwhile, her exuberant cousin Delphine falls hard into a passionate secret affair with Ardeth Bay. Whether for love or convenience, you're only as bad as your partner. [a prequel to And Love Thee After.]

[ALTA AU, 'cause that's a thing now.] In an effort to cover her pregnancy, Jemima Willoughby marries rich oil tycoon David Daniels and follows him back to his Texas ranch. Desperate to start anew and keep the true paternity of her child a secret, she throws herself into the role of wife and mother in a strange place, with strange people. But hidden things can't stay hidden forever.

"Come on, Gretchen, we both know I am a better Catholic than you."

The world has changed. Elves, dwarves, and other creatures no longer live among the race of men, aside from a select few who must, at all costs, keep their true identities hidden. Life is relatively peaceful, until Sauron begins to grow in power again. It's going to take all the strength of the Broship of the Ring in order to stop him. LOTR AU Modern era.

It's a new semester at Middle-earth High School! Aragorn is the valedictorian, Frodo is the exchange student, Legolas is the captain of the archery team...and Saruman is the vice principal? Discover what happens when Saruman and Sauron plot a dark scheme to buldoze ME High, and how the "Fellowship" stop them. Aragorn/Arwen, Éowyn/Faramir, Éomer/Lothíriel, Pippin/Diamond, etc.

A little over a year after the Bracelet of Anubis debacle, a woman shows up on the O'Connells' doorstep claiming to be Rick's sister and the O'Connells find themselves venturing down familiar paths once more. First of a three-part AU series.

Ardeth has found love in his bride, Delphine. Evelyn is trapped in a marriage to Beni, but will her blossoming romance with Rick O'Connell be the key that saves Ardeth from Beni's revenge, or the catalyst for a vicious spiral? An Othello adaptation.

WIP. An alternate universe story that captures the essence of Disney's Beauty & the Beast, but with a purely Dramione twist.

It's thirteen years after the strike, Racetrack finds some luck and is able to take his buddies; Blink, Spot and Skittery to see the great land of Europe. They go home on the ship of dreams - The Titanic. Not a crossover, it's about the real ship.

Meet Elizabeth, who believes that a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. "How many Stewards does it take to change a light bulb? None. Gondor has no light bulbs. Gondor needs no light bulbs" Eventually Boromir/OC

Upon seeing that the unfortunate newsie with whom he was speaking understood not a whit of what he was saying, the gentleman clarified his rhetoric: "Your friend has just become richer than William Randolph Hearst."

COMPLETE: A Gothic Horror set in 1900 Brooklyn. A murderous figure known only as the Beast stalks New York City's streets - but even he is no match for a rarer and more formidable creature: a vengeful and reckless Spot Conlon in love.

As the war rages on, Severus Snape and Lily Evans cross paths once again and find themselves on a dangerous road of love and betrayal that will shape the fate of the Wizarding World. Meanwhile, Regulus struggles to deal with the reality of his choices.

"Follow your inner moonlight, don't hide the madness." - Allen Ginsberg — Lily/Teddy

For a brief moment, her face was open, naked longing to hold Roger's heart in her hands. How three exquisitely entangled lives change on the road to the Coronation Day earthquake. In the distant land of Tortall, a fairytale begins.

A penny for the Old Guy... An AU set in Minas Tirith.

From Sherlocklulz, John "MFing" Watson tells us the TRUE tale of what happened in "A Study in Scarlet," not that hoity-toity "intelligent, scholarly" junk that got published. Heck yes! Warning: Swearing, and other such improprieties.

One-shot: 'Peregrin Took, are you swearing at me in elvish?" Pippin attempts to go on another quest, Diamond attempts to murder him. Merry and Everard, of course, enjoy all.

Why did Duke Gareth hate Alan of Trebond so much? Did it have something to do with the twins' mother? An Alanna goes to the convent story with a twist.

Scorpius really should have listened to his father's numerous and dire warnings about the Potter clan. Harry feels his pain. Gen crackfic WIP, yo. Seriously, so cracky.

The Life, Times, Loves, and Lusts of Fleur Delacour via her private diary. After being Americanized, Mugglefied, & seduced by MTV, can Fleur ever get back to normal? No... but it'll be fun watching her try...

Erik is not a charitable man, and he will have what is his.

A typical day in the life of Jonathan Carnahan.

Gretchen didn't want to go to Hamunaptra. She didn't even want to leave Cairo. But circumstances have thrown a rather worthless, selfish prostitute into the climactic clash of events during Imhotep's first resurrection.

He never wanted it. Them. He never wanted one… much less two of them. It wasn’t fair, Erik decided. He had only just gotten Christine all to himself and now… this.

After Desmond changes the past so he doesn't take Flight 815, Charlie experiences strange visions of the island and realises that he is living out two different lives simultaneously. What will happen when these two existences finally collide? Co-fic.

Post-rescue. Charlie gets an unexpected phone call to play the hero once more and help an old friend. Cowritten with falafelfiction and sapphirechild.

The Death Eaters attempt to do bad things, but mostly just do things badly.

COMPLETE: It's 1907. Can ya believe that? Over seven years I've been gone and, if I had my way, I'd never have come back. But a man's got a thing or two that he's gotta do before he dies and, well, this is mine. - Skittery's story, poststrike.

One year after rescue, Claire thinks she has finally found solace in her new life. But when she receives a phone call from an unexpected person, she resceives news which threatens to turn her life upside down once again. Co-written with sapphirechild

Adventures bring out the best in people. Through all this, can they get out alive and sort out the growing tension and knotted emotions? KelNeal

Sam's just a normal guy trying to make his way in today's world, but with roommates like Frodo, Merry and Pippin, and neighbors like Gimli and Gollum, it's not easy. Rated PG13, just in case.

Arwen hosts a series of masquerade balls in Minas Tirith. During the festivities, doors are unlocked and secrets long asleep are awoken.

Chapter 21 In a Place Silhouetted by Sunshine. COMPLETE. All parties are reunited at the Inn where the Eingbearer's outing first went wrong, and once there, Frodo must face and conquor perhaps the greatest shadow of all.

Tragedy befalls the Fellowship, and after ten years when the wounds seem to have healed something happens to rip them up again. Centered around the friendship of Merry and Pippin.

She was just a common street girl, but the dirt of the streets wasn’t in her veins. [SkitteryOC] [Rated for language]

Skittery's having a bad day. Complete!

A fairytale. “Without Christine, there was no light beneath the earth, and without her voice, for him there was only silence.” When Erik is unwilling to let his love go, she returns for him. EC romance at its finest!

Parody. A study on how the quest would have been different had they had cell phones, cable TV, the internet, and cars. Many stupid jokes by two overtired geeks. Yay completion!

One shot. After a chance meeting in a bar, Race and Spot learn of an attempt to murder Jack. One the eve of Ash Wednesday, the boys commit the greatest sin for the greatest good.

LOTR and Napoleon Dynamite crossover...sort of. Mostly LOTR with a bit of Napoleon thrown in. Hilarity ensues, sarcastic comments, that sort of stuff. It's like MST but in written form! COMPLETE!

Frodo falls in love with a three foot tall Barbie doll, thinking that she's real. Not quite as weird as it sounds. Well, maybe it is. One shot.

Inspired by Season One of “Lost”, but no knowledge of “Lost” required. Two Men, one Dwarf, one wizard, one Elf, and four hobbits crash land on a mysterious island. The Fellowship meets and faces danger in a new setting.

Oneshot, COMPLETED! Erik's thoughts on becoming a father. Rated M for adult themes.

-News update- Jonathan is English, free and single (not to mention drunk as a lord) getting up to all sorts of shenanigins in Cairo with his partner in crime...What will Evy say?

Eomer's having trouble coming to terms with Eowyn's engagement to Faramir. When Merry and Pippin decide to help the two men reconcile, disaster is almost certain to follow. Edited and reposted as of August 14 2006.

Hobbits, a bar fight, ale and angst - Part 1 of the 'Seasons In The Shire' trilogy

Kel walked swiftly over to her dresser and pulled out a pair of breeches and a shirt. Stripping off the towel, she threw it to Neal. “Not a word out of you, Neal.” She grinned at his shocked look. “It’s not like you haven’t seen it before. Chapt