sup my name is Jessi and that is all u need 2 know. i luv manga and vampire novels. Usually the pairings I like are the cannon pairings, but for the record ...

Avatar The Last Airbender Pairings I like:

Katara/Zuko

Aang/Toph

Pairings I dislike:

Katara/Aang He just seems too childish for her ...

Zuko/Mai She is so selfish. I want a (insert food of Mai's choice here) with (insert a topping of Mai's choice)

Sokka/Toph Toph is freaking 12 years old! Sokka and Suki all the way

Turn your iPod/mp3 onto shuffle and write down each song as the answer to the questions in syccession. NO CHEATING!! Put any comments in brackets =D

1. How am I feeling today? If This Is Austin-Blake Shelton (I can see this.)

2. Will I get far in life? Everybody's Fool-Evanescence (Okay, this is just depressing)

3. How do my friends see me? Anything But Ordinary-Avril Lavigne (Heck Yes!)

4. Where will I get married? Love Story-Taylor Swift (Umm?)

5. What is my best friend's theme song? A Twist In My Story-Secondhand Serenade (?)

6. What is the story of my life? Things That Never Cross A Man's Mind-Kellie Pickler (even more depressing)

7. What is high school like? Bed Of Roses-Mindless Self Indulgence (This is super depressing ...)

8. How can I get ahead in life ? Waking Up In Vegas-Katie Perry

9. What is the best thing about me? I Hope You Dance-Lee Ann Womack (I can see this, sorta)

10. How is today going to be? Your Call-Secondhand Serenade

11. What is in store for this weekend? Stay Close, Don't Go-Secondhand Serenade (figures since it'll be raining til Monday.

12. What song describes my parents? Love Story-Taylor Swift (Not exactly)

13. My grandparents? Just A Dream-Carrie Underwood (Umm ... Okay?)

14. How is my life going?Almost Lover-A Fine Frenzy (That's almost not depressing)

15. What song will they play at my funeral?Desolation Row-MCR (What is with the depressing stuff?)

16. How does the world see me? Lips Of An Angel-Hinder (Depending on how you look at it this could still be depressing)

17. Will I have a happy life? Helena-MCR (STILL FREAKING DEPRESSING!)

18. What do my friends really think of me? Gothic Angel-Avril Lavigne

19. Do people secretly lust after me? Take Me With You-Secondhand Serenade (Yes, No?)

20. How can I make myself happy? Paparazzi-Lady Gaga (Not even gonna comment)

21. What should I do with my life? Like We Never Loved At All-Faith Hill and Tim Mcgraw (WHY AM I STILL GETTING THE DEPRESSING ONES?)

22. Will I ever have children? Why-Secondhand Serenade (Yes, to confuse Jessi more, let's just answer a QUETION with ANOTHER QUESTION!)

23. What is some good advice for me? Face Down-Red Jumpsuit Apparatus (Kinda scary when you think about it ... )

24. What is my signature dancing song? The Poison-Bullet For My Valentine (Yes, Let's all dance to a song about murder)

25. What does everyone else think my current theme song is? The Devil Went Down To Georgia- Charlie Daniels (I did go to Georgia recently ... )

26. What sort of guys/girls do you like? Obvious-Hey Monday (you know if you've heard the song it's not a very kid friendly one for this question ... )

27. What song does the media player think represents your life? Whiskey Lullaby- Brad Paisley and Allison Krause (That's depressing and pretty freaking SCARY!)

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929,SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin,The Komodo Dragon Phoenix,Bust_A_Groover, Tecna, Triggonseed, The Only Innocent Writer Here-Yumi, EstellaB, NarnianMelody, tookieclothespen, bellabookworm9, GoodyGoody23, EdwardIsMyLover, FreakyTwilightLovero, Vampires_Rock, Sunshine0235, Edwardcullenrocks.

didn't write this I found it on CrazedCullenLover's profile please C&P-

This poem is really sad so be prepared...

My name is Chris.

I am three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't do a wrong

I can't speak at all

Or else im locked up

All day long.

When im awake im all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home

When my mommy does come home

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe i'll just get

One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's bar.

I hear him curse

My name is called

I press myself

Against the wall

I try to hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry

He finds me weeping

Calls me ugly words,

He says its my fault

He suffers at work.

He slaps and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And run to the door

He's already locked it

And i start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken,

"I'm sorry!", I scream

But its now much to late

His face has been twisted

Into a unimaginable shape

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

O please God, have mercy!

O please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door

While i lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor

My name is Chris

I am three,

Tonight my daddy

Murdered me.

IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILDABUSE, COPY THAT POEM INTO YOUR PROFILE!!

NO CHEATING!

1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.
2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, green, yellow?
3. Your first initial?
4. Your month of birth?
5. Which color do you like more, black or white?
6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.
7. Your favorite number?
8. Do you like California or Florida more?
9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?
10. Write down a wish (a realistic one).

Alright, answer time!

1. You are completely in love with this person.
2. If you choose:
Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.
Black: You are conservative and aggressive.
Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.
Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you
love.
Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are
down.
3. If your initial is:
A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.
L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to
blossom.
S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.
4. If you were born in:
Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you
fall in love with someone totally unexpected.
Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but
the memories will last forever.
July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life
changing experience for the good.
Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your
soul mate.
5. If you choose...
Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time
but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.
White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do
anything for you, but you may not realize it.
6. This person is your best friend.
7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.
8. If you choose...
California: You like adventure.
Florida: You are a laidback person.
9. If you choose...
Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.
10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.(does that even make sense?)
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude (If you could only hear the thoughts in my head)
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks(I've dated a softball playing prep. ) I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil (So I’ve been told)
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border. I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER. (No I just don't like my life)
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid. (Your weird seeing how I'm a girl)
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian

I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I like marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I an friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake
I DON"T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems (Well. . . I really do.)

rly funny joke:

Four guys were out golfing and one guy hit his ball out into the rough. He goes to look for it. The other three start to talk about their sons. The first guy says, "My sons' a doctor and he's doing so well that he's taking someone to Europe." The next guy said, "Well my son is a car salesman and he's doing so well, that he gave a car to someone." The third guy says, "Well my sons' a contractor and he's doing so well, that he built someone a house for free." The forth guy comes back and the others ask him what's going on with his son. He says, "Well he's gay." And the others say, "Oh, we're really sorry." The guy says, "Oh no, we're not upset. We're glad he feels comforable enough to tell us and besides, one guy gave him a free car, one guy built him a house, and another ones' taking him to Europe."

time for some random crap:

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep-- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
'American Idol' made it famous...the radio made it annoying!
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
Edward Cullen made every girl want a bloodthirsty vampire instead of a knight in shining armor.
I find "good morning" a contradiction of terms
You're just jealous because we act retarded in public and people still love us!
I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.
One way to figure out how things work: push all the buttons!

Girl: You should slow down, this is to fast
Boy: This is how a motorcycle is supposed to feel but if you tell me you love me, i'll slow down
Girl: I love you!
Boy: Now you have to give me a hug.
Girl: (She squeezed around the boys boys waist from behind him)
Boy: Now you must take my helmet from my head and put it on you then i will slow down.
Girl: (puts helmet on her head)
Newspaper headline next morning: Fatal motorcycle accident after brakes went out, male died and female lived being the only one with a helmet. In truth the boy knew his breaks went out and told his girlfriend she loved him one last time and to feel her hug then he gave her his helmet so she could live.

Lessons Learned in Twilight:

1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.
2. The future is not set in stone.
3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.
5. True love knows no boundaries.
6. Some people are just danger magnets.
7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!
9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.
10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.
11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.
12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13. Family is about more than just blood.
14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.
15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.
16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
18. There are exceptions to every rule.
19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.
20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.
22. Cold hands = Warm heart.
23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.
24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.
25. Romeo was an idiot.
26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.
27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.
28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.
29. Space heaters can be very annoying.
30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.

My Mother Taught Me…

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why.
"5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Copy and Pastes…

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys dont want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and geting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality they are amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consectutive seconds...copy/paste this into profile.

If you've ever tried putting your hair behind your ears, and ended up poking yourself in the eye...copy/paste this into your profile.

If you think the Coa-Coa Puff Turkey Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile.

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that hasn't, put this in your profile.If you truly believe that there is an Edward Cullen out there somewhere for you (his name doesn't have to be Edward)...copy/paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight, that whenever you hear thunder, you think of vampires playing baseball...copy/paste this into your profile.
If you are willing to admit that you are absolutely in love with Edward Cullen, a completely fictional character...copy/paste this into your profile.
If you have ever zoned out for more than five consectutive seconds...copy/paste this into profile
If you have deja vu a lot, copy this into your profile.
If you probably have a body in your closet, copy this into your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
If you have an MP3 and love rocking out to it, post on profile.
If you would kill to have wings, post on profile.
If you think the Cullens should have their own theme music :o) Copy this to your Profile
92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your ass off.
If you have ever been kidnapped and nearly eaten by evil flying squirrels before your vampire boyfriend saved you, then you found a flamethrower and vanquished the squirrels shouting “Die, squirrel beasts, die!”, copy this into your profile.
If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile
If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!
My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend then copy this to your profile
If when you have a child, you'd consider naming them Edward or Anthony, copy this into your profile.
If people mistake you for a vampire (cough cough or you are one cough cough)...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.
If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.
If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.
If you know what a lemon fly is(for those who dont, it is a mythical lemon with wings. ha! now you know!)
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile
If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer
If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile
If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've reread TWILIGHT over four times...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've had at least two friends move away from you...copy and paste this onto your profile
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile
If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile

If you have ever given in to that impulsive with a satisfying SMACK!, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.
If you think the Coa-coa Puff Turkey Bird thing shoud go to rehab, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile
If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your pro!
If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile
If you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile.
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.
If you have a friend that scares you when they have sugar, copy this into your profile

If you have ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this into your profile (Is it hot out there)(in the middle of summer)

AACIBD is Addicted to All Cullen’s Including Bella Disorder.

AV is Addicted to Vampires

ADD is Automatic Death Disorder

ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder

WBWAVS is Wishing Bella Was A Vampire Syndrome

LES is Love Edward Syndrome

WIWAVS is Wishing I Was A Vampire Syndrom

HELL i have ever single one!

Put this in your profile if you know someone who is fighting, has survived, or died of cancer(My great grandmother...lung cancer..she's went home to God...)

You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary. If you have done just that, copy this into your profile.

if you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your profile.

if you've ever walked into a wall b4 copy this into your pro

if you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your pro

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile

98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels. (I FREAKING LOVE BAGELS!)

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get like two reviews, copy this into your profile.

If you think that losers hate/don't get Twilight, copy this into your profile.

If you think the Coa-coa Puff Turky Bird thing shoud go to rehab, copy this into your profile.

If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile.

If your mad at the kids in the Trix comercial for taunting him and you think they should let him have the friggen stuff copy this into your profile.

If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck girl of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, copy this into your profile.

If you are absolutly in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional charater Edward, from twilight, copy and paste this into your profile

Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune.If you just sang it to make sure copy this into your profile.(I made that one up cause i did haha)

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile

If you've actually LOST and argument with yourself copy this into your profile.

Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!(OMG OMG OMG OMG RANDOMNESSS WOOOOT!)

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. The irony...

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your ran up a down escalator copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like chocolate as much as I do copy this in your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off(whistels la de da)

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever tried to put glasses or sunglasses on and stabbed yourself in the eye copy this into your profile.

If you've had a chicken sitting on your head and peck you in the eye copy this into your profile(happend to me Tuesday 19th of June)

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile (HORSES)

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile(done that so many times can't count)

Ten things I love about Edward Cullen

1)HOT

2) sweet

3) gentelmanly

4)IS A VAMPIRE

5)HOT

6)loving

7)protective

8)HOT

9)he loves Bella

10) did i meantion HOT?

Ten Things i HATE about Edward Cullen

1)Won't change Bella

2)LEFT BELLA

3) is mean to Jake!

4) seems possesive

5)is with Bella and not me(snickers)

6) hmm damn can't think of anymore

7) I LOVE CHEESE

8) STRING!

9)BILLY

10) BOB

light characters aren't real, copy this into your profile.

Computer Related Random Things

C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.
FATAL ERROR: Size of thought exceeds available memory.
My programs never have bugs, they just develop random features. windows: 32-bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16-bit patch to an 8-bit operating system originally coded for a 4-bit microprocessor, written by a 2-bit company that can't stand 1-bit of competition
Who's General Failure & why is he reading my disk?
I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere.
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue...
WinErr 16547: LPT1 not found. Use backup. (PENCIL & PAPER.SYS)
Runtime error 6D at 417A:32CF: incompetent user.
The world is coming to an end. Please log off.
As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error.

Random Questions

If the sky is the limit, then what is space? Over the limit?
Are children who act in 'R' rated moves allowed to see them?
Why is it when an adult with the mind of a child is locked up and put in a asylum, while children are allowed to run in the streets?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?
If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out." ?
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out of its butt."?
Isn't Disneyland just a people trap operated by a mouse?
Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?
Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in 'mother in law', they come out to 'Woman Hitler'?
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?
Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are crazy?
Why is it when some products you have to turn upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn down?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?
If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil from?
If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?

Random Quotes

"Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton
"I reject your reality and substitute my own." Adam Savage, Mythbusters
"Man must wait long time with mouth open for roast duck to fly in." ancient Chinese proverb
"What happens if you get scared half to death twice?" –Unknown
"Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door,"- Unknown
"Dealing with Television network executives is like being nibbled to death by ducks."- Eric Sevareid
“I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for." --Jasper Carrott
"Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else." --Will Rogers
"I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it." –Unknown
"Perfection is a waste of time." --Kim De Coite
Engineering: 'How will this work?' Science:'Why will this work?' Management: 'When will this work?' Liberal Arts:'Do you want fries with that?'" –Unknown
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; I'm not sure about the universe." --Albert Einstein
That is the truest sign of insanity--insane people are always sure they are fine. It is only the sane people that are willing to admit that they are crazy." --Nora Ephron
"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe striving to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning." --Rich Cook
“You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.” – Unknown
“A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.” – Unknown
“Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.” – Unknown
“He who laughs last didn't get it.” – Unknown
“When there's a will, I want to be in it.” – Unknown
"A positive attitude may not solve all of your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." ~Herm Albright
Firefighter: At one point we decided to fight fire with fire... Well...basically... your house burned even faster.
Confusius say: Man who eat jelly beans fart in Technicolor
We're on a bridge CCHHAARRLLIIEE.
We are going to Candy Mountain Cchhaarrlliiee! A land of sweets and joy... and joyness.
Oh god! They took my freaking kidney!
It's a Leoplurodon Cchhaarrlliiee. A magical Leoplurodon
"There's no such thing as a stupid question, until you ask it." -That-Guy-With-The-Glasses

Random Boys/Friends/People Things

When I was younger, my parents encouraged me to walk and talk. Now, all they want me to do is sit down and shut up!
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. Never argue with me, I'll drag you down to my level and beat you with a bat.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you!
Woman: But would you stay there??
I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again.
I used to hate it when aunts and grandmas, used to come up to me at weddings and pinch my cheeks and say "Your next" "Your next". Well they stopped doin that crap when i started to do it to them at funerals.
There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.
Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap that idiot upside the head
Pass it on...
Don't think of your self as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.
"Love your enemies! It really pisses them off"
"Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still really bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."
We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America , but we haven't a clue as to where thousands of Illegal immigrants and Terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration!
"A good friend picks you up when you fall,a best friend picks you up and then trips you again."
Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin.
Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.
Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days"
A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. But a best friend will go up to him and say "It's because you're gay isn't it?"
Edward Cullen I love you! Oops! Did I say that out loud?
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder
They say guns don't kill people, people kill people, but honestly i think guns have something to do with it because if someone just stood there and said "bang," i don't think many people would be dead...
I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.
I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends
If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile and add your penname and the name(s) of the characters you have crushed on: HollyluvsArty (James Potter, Sirius Black (when he was young), Artemis Fowl) comix-freak (Artemis Fowl (and Arty is my one and only!))scarilyobsessed(Fang, from maximum ride) Natalie-07 (Jack Sparrow, I know I know he's older then my dad but it's not like we're actually dating!) Silverstar's Shadow (Kratos Aurion (like practically every other girl who plays ToS religiously), Yuan (damn the people who decided to never tell you his last name!), Sirius Black (not Gary the Old Man... I imagined him to look a little more like Adam from Three Days Grace... hehe... Ahem.), Draco Malfoy), AsterEris:Firefall'sLegacy(Jasper Cullen...sigh), AviorHyrax (Fell from fell...I love him, I know, hes a wolf...can't I have my dream? Murtaghlaughing really hard right now Aster..., Mr. Darcyawwwww, i love him, again, still laughing,artemis fowl, Victor, from Cathy's book/key(I have a lot more but still), MiracleJade (Legolas from Lord of the Rings, Murtagh from Eragon movie (sucked) and Kisten from Kim Harrison books), xXxNyte-chanxXx (Edward Cullen-Twilight duh...Ian MacPhie-Love at Skate series)Edwardcullenrocks(Edward Cullen-twilight, Yuki and Kyo Sohma-fruits basket, and Alexander Sterling-vampire kisses series)
All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.
The few people who would die laughing if the newest fashion was not breathing are brilliant
Good friends give you a ride. Close friends buy you a car. Best friends are the getting-away-from-the-scene-of-the-crime driver.
We fall for stupid boys we make lots of dumb mistakes we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls, we're really good at one thing, staying strong.
WARNING:Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head. NOTE:Do use an axe to kill a fly on ur enemies head
Everyone has a wild side-me and my friends just prefer to make them public
Always forgive our enemies - nothing annoys them so much.
Emo kids have cool hair
Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.
Some say the glass is half full, some say the glass is half empty. I say “Are you gonna drink that?”
Experience is the name so many people give to their mistakes.
Never interrupt your opponent while he’s making a mistake.
A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.
"He who stands on a windowsill to see how far out he can lean without falling is a moron."
"They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance?"
"People fear the strange and unusual. I am the strange and unusual."
"When other little girls wanted to be ballerinas, I kinda wanted to be a VAMPIRE."
my imaginary friend doesn't like you either
i hate it when the voices argue with my imaginary friends
Smile. It confuses people.

Random Randomness

I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot.
I hope life isn’t a joke, because I don’t get it.
flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS
When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
War doesn’t determine who’s right. War determines who’s left.
Every rule has an exception. Especially this one.
Fiction writing is great, you can make up almost anything.
The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45.
Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as the go by.
When life hands you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade.
Assassinations is an extreme form of censorship.
Imitation is the most annoying form of flattery.
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them.
Don't mess with me I've got a stick.
I'll be rich and famous when I invent something that will stab people over the internet
I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.
I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the fun I will have
Somebody needs a Happy Meal.
Did you just call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. And nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful! Thanks for the complement.
It wasn't a dark and stormy night. It should have been, but that's weather for you. For every mad scientist who's had a convenient thunderstorm just on the night his Great Work is finished and lying on the slab, there have been dozens who've sat around aimlessly under peaceful stars while Igor clocks up the overtime."
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when you fill up the tab seperators in your binders withe doodles/love notes/comfessions of love/any other Twilght related thing you can think of about Twilight or the Twilight characters. Crazy is when you can open up Twilight and know exactly which part you're at by reading one word. Crazy is when you print out copies of all the twilight series covers and put them on the wall of your closet. Crazy is when you go to the most expensive store within fifty miles of your home, try on almost every peice of clothing, then walk out with nothing, saying none of it was your style. Crazy is when you break a bone and laugh. Crazy is when you start saying different names from random shows wit your friend just to see who knows more names. Crazy is when u start to sing a old song that no one under 60 should know, in public. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!
Being normal is overrated.
Never hide the bodies in the same place, your closet gets full after a while.
"I'll hold it and you light the fuse."
"So, you're a cannibal."
"Please Note: CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED Apparently you told Santa that you have been good this year...he died laughing."

If you think Rap stands for Retards Attempting Poetry paste this on your profile
AACIBD is Addicted to All Cullen’s Including Bella Disorder.
AV is Addicted to Vampires
ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird.
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
'It's always in the last place you look' Well DUR! Because you stop looking after you find it! HELLO!
I could tell you what happened in the first chapter of Breaking Dawn, but then I would have to kill you.
I ran with scissors, and lived!
You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three
"When all else fails blow stuff up."
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you.
Although, chainsaw beats scissors, paper, AND rock!
"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."
When I hear somebody sigh "Life is hard" I'm always tempted to ask "Compared to what?"
Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
I am going to put an end to my procrastination problem. . . Tomorrow
"Shut up voices! Or I'll poke you with a Q-tip again
To put it nicely, I hope you choke
"True love is when you don't want to sleep because real life is so much better than a dream"
Suburbs are areas where they cut down trees and then name the streets after them
I got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn
I'm not insensitive, I just don't care
True love isn't free, but i'd pay anything to have it
real life isn't full of happily ever afters, just bursts of happiness that don't last very long
If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem.
The world is cruel... get used to it!
Not all scars fade, not all wounds heal.
If the world gives you lemons, you can make lemonade... or you can make a biologically engineered virulent air-born pathogenic virus that will wipe out the entire population of the planet, which would be a whole lot cooler.
The evil gnomes poked me in the but wit a stick.
Hope is a good thing, perhaps the best of things and no good thing ever dies, except my dog scruffy, he got hit by a car.
Welcome to the world of very scary fearies!
For those who think fearies are innocent little creatures...
Killing gnomes with sporks!
Would you like a cookie? So would I.
You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.
Checking away messages. It's like stalking, but no one knows you are doing it. I even have people's names on my buddy list that I don't know, but I hear they have really good away messages. Some people really put their all into away messages. There are the people who document their every move: "I am taking a shower, but when I get out, I am going to pee, shave, and then iron my pants. Call me if you need me before I go to the mall at 2pm." Then there's the creative one: "I am away from my computer right now." And of course there's that one from the really cool guy: "Yo its friday night, I am drunk, and not sittin up lookin at away messages" Funny how that guy never seems to go idle.
Don't take it personally.. but you smell like an ice cube
Well the voices and I took a vote. It's unanimous; you suck.
A day without sunshine is like... night.
A rabbi, a priest, and a duck walked into a bar. The bartender looked up and said, "What is this? A joke?"
A rejected invention:Instant water! just add water!
Behold the mighty...chihuahua?
Busy polking my neighbor with a spork. shes really old and wrinkly this is fun muahahaha
Don't ever attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot
Don't make me mad...I'm known to bite at random!!
Don't walk in my footsteps. I walk into walls.
Feeding my pet old person right now...!
Hello. You have reached The Autopsy-profile. If you are already cut open, Press 1.If you are ordering a new body, Press 2.If you are ordering a cut body, Press 3.If you are picking up a body, Press 4.If you chose none of the options above, please stay on the profile. You will soon be tracked down and picked up in a nice cozy black 'sleeping-bag'.Have a nice day and thank you for choosing Autopsy-profile!
I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect!
I did what they say and chose the road less traveled... Now where the heck am I?
I do what cheerios tell me.
I put the 'fun' in 'dysfunctional'.
I'm a little teapot short and stout; here is my hande, here is my...other handle? crap. now i'm a sugar bowl
I'm bartending at an AA meeting
I'm hearing voices in my head and they don't like you! (haha just like Edward Cullen!! :D)
I'm knocking on heavens door.. voice in background: "Knocking? You very nearly broke the bloody thing down!!" me:" That wasnt my fault!! It was poor constrution... I SWEAR!! Dont look at me like that..."
I'm out driving with my keys in an electrical outlet...
If you wish on a falling star it might come true... Unless it's a meteor hurdling to earth... Then no wishes come true... Unless your wish was to be killed a meteor hurdling to earth.
My Braces Are Stuck To The Carpet...
Someday my prince will come he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask for directions.
The first time I was chatting with someone online, they asked me "asl?" I tried to sound it out and got realy ticked of and started warning them because I thought they were calling me an asshole.
yo-yos were invented as a weapon
I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
If you're forced to choose between two evils, choose the one you've never tried before. ;)
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'

Unique

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone: Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Lunamione7, Sunshine0235, Edwardcullenrocks

Random Quotes

The Addams Family Movie

about to bury two people
Pugsley: Are they dead?
Wednesday: Does it matter?

Girl Scout: Is this made from real lemons?
Wednesday: Yes.
Girl Scout: I only like all-natural foods and beverages, organically grown, with no preservatives. Are you sure they're real lemons?
Pugsley: Yes.
Girl Scout: Well, I'll tell you what. I'll buy a cup if you buy a box of my delicious Girl Scout cookies. Do we have a deal?
Wednesday: Are they made from real Girl Scouts?

Gomez: he has thrown a sword and pierced the wall not but two inches from Tully's head Ah, missed!

Morticia: Don't torture yourself, Gomez. That's my job.

Gomez: 2, 10, 11. Eyes, fingers, toes!

Morticia: "Uncle Niknak's winter wardrobe." "Uncle Niknak's summer wardrobe." "Uncle Niknak."

Morticia: And our credo: "Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc." We gladly feast on those who would subdue us. Not just pretty words.

Margaret: You are too precious for words, why I could just... eat you alive!
Morticia: Oh no, Margaret! Too young!

Horton Hears a Who

Katie: In my world everyone is a pony, and they all eat rainbows, and poop butterflies.

Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

The Book: In the beginning the universe was created. This made a lot of people angry and has widely been considered as a bad move..

Trillian: Buttons aren't toys.

Marvin: I have a million ideas, but, they all point to certain death.
Arthur: Thanks very much, Marv!

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Willy Wonka: Do you like my meadow? Try some of my grass! Please have a blade, please do, it's so delectable and so darn good looking!
Charlie Bucket: You can eat the grass?
Willy Wonka: Of course you can! Everything in this room is eatable, even I'm eatable! But that is called "cannibalism," my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies.

Willy Wonka: I'm sorry, I was having a flashback.
Mr. Salt: I see.
Mr. Teavee: These flashbacks happen often?
Willy Wonka: Increasingly... today.

Mr. Salt: as the squirrels take Veruca Where are they taking her?
Willy Wonka: Where all the other bad nuts go to, to the garbage chute.
Mr. Salt: Where does the chute go?
Willy Wonka: ...To the incinerator. But don't worry, we only light it on tuesdays.
Mike Teavee: Today IS Tuesday.
Willy Wonka: after a pause Well, there's always a chance they decided not to light it today...

Grandma Georgina: the glass elevator crashes through the roof of Charlie's house I think there's someone at the door.

Grandma Josephine: watching Violet Beauregarde on TV What a beastly girl.
Grandma Georgina: Despicable.
Grandpa George: You don't know what we're talking about.
Grandma Georgina: pause Dragonflies?

Willy Wonka claps enthusiastically as his special musical showpiece goes up in flames
Willy Wonka: Ha ha ha, wasn't that just magnificent? I thought it was getting a little dodgy in the middle part, but that finale... Wow!

Pirates of the Caribbean…At World's End

Jack:“Did no one come to save me just because they missed me?”

_.s_s _ If you're a girl and you've ever
_s?_s_s³ _ beaten a guy in an arm wrestle,
_.s_ s³ _ copy the Flaming Heart of
_s³_.s_ Youthfulness into your profile!
_..._... ... ... ._s³_ (sorry girls only)
_s_s³,
_s_³s_..
_³s._³s ,
_³._³s .s_ ..
_._³_ s³
_³s_³s³_ s³
_³s_s_ s
_s._s³_.s ³_
_s..s ³_
_ _
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_³§³

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted,"Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

there were 3girls

They were looking through peoples
MySpaces.

The girl slowly came upon this one
myspace.

It had creatures in the background and the man
looked like a psycho.

She started laughing with her friend commenting on how ugly he was.

Right then, an instant message came up.

It said:

SatanStalker: So how do u like my
MySpace??

XxLoVemExX: What??

XxLoVemExX: Who is this anyway??

SatanStalker: Well, you should know;
youre looking at my MySpace right now.

XxLoVemExX: How do you know that im looking at ur pro??

SatanStalker:I know when people look at my MySpace.

XxLoVemExX: What? That doesnt make
any sense, how?

SatanStalker: I just do.

Satanstalker: Especially to pretty girls like you.

Satanstalker: With very nice legs I might say.

At the time the girl was wearing high
shorts.

She started to pull them down a little bit to cover what
ever she could. Her and her friend started to get
worried now.

XxLoVemExX: Ok whatever man youre starting to scare the living sht out of me.

SatanStalker: You should be afraid.

SatanStalker: You wouldnt want an ugly guy like me touching your legs huh? I mean thats what you
just said about me with your friend like a
minute ago.

They were in shock.

Her friend: Holy crap man just block him
hes a fcking psycho!

The girl: Ok holy crap, you think hes
watching us?

SatanStalker: I am.

SatanStalker: Well it wouldnt really
matter if you blocked me anyway; it wouldnt stop me
from coming to your house.

XxLoVemExX: What? My house?

SatanStalker: Yeah, youre alone so its
not a problem.

XxLoVemExX: Ok I think Im going to leave now because youre freaking me out.

SatanStalker: Your screen name says
love me, trust me that wont be a problem.

SatanStalker has just signed off.

The girl and her friend were really
scared. Girls

friend: Whatever lets just go upstairs trust me I doubt hes really coming. Its just a joke from someone.

They went upstairs and were having a pillow fight.

All of a sudden the girls friend said she had to go to the bathroom. The girl said ok.

Ten minutes later the girl noticed that her friend was
still in the bathroom and was wondering what was up.

She goes and knocks but no one said
anything

she opens it and finds her friend there on
the ground dead. She started to scream but when she
turned around he was there. News the next morning said that there was one girl dead in the bathroom;

her neck sliced with blood all over the ground. with her head nailed to the wall. Just her head.

If you do not repost this in the next two
minutes here will be three men, one in your
bathroom,

one in your room, and one killing your parents at that
very moment.

Tonight at 1:30am. Well what are you waiting for?

Repost or you are going to die.

Month One

Mommy

I am only eight inches long

but I have all my organs.

I love the sound of your voice.

Everytime I hear it

I wave my arms and legs.

The sound of your heartbeat

is my favorite lullaby.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Month Two

Mommy

today I learned how to suck my thumb.

If you could see me

You could definetly tell that I am a baby.

I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.

It's so warm and nice in here.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Month Three

You know what Mommy?

I'm a boy!!

I hope that makes you happy.

I always want you to be happy.

I don't like it when you cry.

You sound so sad.

It makes me sad too

and I cry with you even though

you cant hear me.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Month Four

Mommy

My hair is starting to grow.

It is very short and fine

but I will have a lot of it.

I spend a lot of my time exercising.

I can curl my head and curl my fingers and toes

and stretch my arms and legs

I am becoming quite good at it too.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.

Mommy, he lied to you.

He said that I'm not a baby.

I am a baby Mommy, your baby.

I think and feel.

Mommy, whats abortion?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.

I dont like him.

He seems cold and heartless.

Something is intruding my home.

The doctor called it a needle.

Mommy, what is it? It burns!

Please make him stop!

I cant get away from it!

Mommy! HELP ME!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Month Seven

Mommy

I am OK.

I am in Jesus' arms.

He is holding me.

He told me about abortion.

Mommy, why didnt you want me?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Every abortion is just...

One more heart that was stopped

Two more eyes that will never see

Two more hands that will never touch

Two more legs that will never run

One more mouth that will never speak.

Abortion is wrong. People are here on earth for a reason, and some crazy mothers dont want their babies.

If you are against abortion copy and paste

pics 4 stories:

sk8er grl:2008 Chrysler Sebring with 21 city/30 hwy EPA estimated mpg - Sedans, Cars

http:///images/Ripstick20Skateboard.jpg

stopping a ripstick:YouTube - How to Ripstick part 4.

Eternal Love

Bella's Swimsuit:http:///images/Patron_Lime_Trim_Black_Bikini1.jpg

Bella's Car:Gallardo se green blue image by vegasse on Photobucket

Zack's Car:http:///1334/899742516_b537da83e4.jpg

Ash:http:///images/AnimalsWildlife-Oil/GreyWolfOils-Finished.jpg

Nyala:http:///Dolphy/NewStyle-DolphyLioness.jpg

Snickers:http:///media/dogs/anonymous/ding_mini_schnauzer_01.jpg_

Hana:http:///images/Boas/Sunglow/BCSG05M1.jpg