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私は更新するためにすぐにしようとする

彼らはランダムであるのコンテキストでは意味がない

私にはあなたの魂を与える

私の名前

ozymandiasです。がた強大なと絶望の私の作品を振り返る

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Hello, and welcome to my page.

You wish to know about me yes? Well first, and foremost I don't watch anime. Even when I do it's rare. But I do read manga. Naruto in particular.

Secondly, I'm a terribly slow writer. Where other writers churn out five hundred thousand word, twenty-five chapter stories, like Stephen King on a slow day. I won't publish until I'm satisfied, and I'm never satisfied. (so it takes months)

Let me share some information with you about my preferences for reading, and writing fanfiction.

It's almost all about Naruto. It's an obsession, and I love it.

I like keeping Naruto in character, and reading other stories where authors do the same. I despise (what if) stories, where the description is what if Naruto was as smart as Shikimaru, and more or less was him.

Why not just write a story about Shikamaru then? Shikamaru is as smart as Shikamaru. Or stories where he can't use chakra, and resolves to become the greatest taijutsu master...like Rock Lee.

In fact I despise stories where Naruto becomes an expy of any character. Be it Minato, Shikamaru, Kakashi, Sasuke.

I don't like the beaten by villagers as kid cliche. Naruto was allowed to carry around weapons as child so he would defend himself. Don't like fic that have Naruto watched over by watch seems to be an entire garrison of AnBu.

Just one AnBu is pushing it. As well as making them care for someone they watch from a distance as little brother.

I hate friendly Kyubi or an annoying Kyubi who is alway talking to Naruto through his head. Which is canon and I hate it. I would love a story where Kyubi is every bit the remorseless monster he is supposed be.

It's bitch-ish of me, but I don't like writing styles very different from my own. I will not enjoy a story, written in a unending monster block paragraph. No matter how the story itself is; it will suck to me.

Humor is a major plus with me. Even if it's a fic drowning in pure darkness, finding the laughter in the slaughter is a turn on.

I don't care for padding or filler or anything of the techniques people use to increase word count. I do find it impressive when a writer can fill the space with detail, and build there universe.

When describing something or someone. Two very short paragraphs should be enough to get across what they or it looks like. You know it's just filler when you need four lines of paragraph to describe a character in your fic wearing his normal canon clothing.

I Don't like prologues that start at the valley of the end or the Kyubi attack, unless it completely skips to the diverging point. As impressive as it is that you can write a ten thousand word prologue about the event with great detail, and verb, and nouns. It's really just a recap, and therefore unimportant to read.

I like stories that show Sasuke Uchiha in a good light. Not morally good, but competently handled. He could be the biggest asshole in the story, and that would be fine if didn't exist simply to be a strawman.

I don't like stories where Kakashi is bashed for not training Naruto at the chunin exams. Gaara would have killed Sasuke horribly, without him devouting all his time to the Uchiha brat. And Neji wasn't going to be as vicious on Naruto, as Hinata.

I instead would like to see a story where Kakashi is shown as a good teacher trying his best with a bad student (Sasuke).

I like fics that do a good job with the side characters Kishi forgot. Neji, Kiba, Shino, Ino, Lee, and the rest. Without them just existing to play off of Naruto. You know that's the case if Naruto is around.

On padding; taking up paragraphs describing a character instead of just using their name. Minato is the one this happens to often. Even before we knew his name simply calling him the fourth Hokage or Yondaime was enough.

I love a Jiraiya that is legitimately funny in a fic. And it's really easy to do with his personality, to not take advantage is a waste.

Hate the whole Naruto has an epiphany as a toddler fic, and vows to become stronger. Toddlers just don't have epiphanies, no matter how hard their life is.

I hate how every writer implies and outright states that Naruto's every smile is fake, and the characters who can see through it treat it like it's the end of the world. It's just a facial expression, and not really that important.

I don't have a problem with stories that turn Naruto into a powerhouse. But I like when he is just a powerful idiot in the story.

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My favorite pairings are {drum roll}

NaruXIno

NaruXKarin

NaruXSaku

And that's it really, no real reason it just is, what it is. I have no least favorite pairings.

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A Shikamaru noir tale is coming. Alternate Universe. No Ninjas. Just gun smoke. Cigarette smoke. And Temari in a slim dress.

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Looking for an author. Wrote a Naruto story in 2007. It was called Remedy. It's long since, been deleted. The plot involves Naruto nearly killing Sasuke. Leaving Konoha to go on another training trip. He gets trained by an OC named Shijin. He was basically tyler durden with chakra Knives.

I'd appreciate a PM of the name, if you know who I'm talking about.