Above the Clouds

Disclaimer: blah, blah, blah naruto. blah, blah, blah kishimoto. blah, blah, blah lawsuit

"Ugh"

Naruto drowsily opened his eyes, and sat up. He gave a sleepy look at his surroundings. Clouds! Clouds everywhere.

There was nothing, but cool blue sky, as far as the eye could see. The only one around was him, on a flat circular platform.

He was dreaming! One of those peaceful flying dreams. He needed this. Every other dreams he had for the last few weeks have just been awful nightmares.

The blond laid back down, eagle-spread, closed his eyes, and exhaled. The only thing that could make this dream better, was ramen raining from the sky.

"Hey, easy sleeper! Why don't ya open up 'dem peepers!"

Naruto ignored the voice in his dream. Didn't sound like anyone he knew, and he damn well wasn't letting reality ruin a perfectly good sleep.

"Hey fool! Sleepin' all cool! Ya cool fool"

God! what's wrong with his dream. It started off nice...till some...thing decided to do some horrible rhymes in his ear.

"So this is the strongest of us...quite easy going, I must say"

Now there were two voices in his dream, bugging him. Female sounding, this time. But not Sakura-chan. He didn't care about voices in his dream that weren't Sakura-chan.

"It's the Eight, an the Two! Wake up, ya foo'!"

Sighing, the blond finally decided to pay attention to the annoying voices. He sat up, and opened his eyes. Blue eyes met sunglasses, and dark iris'. Before him were a petite; young blond women, and a buff; blond black man.

"Yo!...what's up?" Naruto asked his dream people.

"Hello, I'm Yugito Nii..." She introduced, while holding out her hand.

"Naruto Uzumaki..." He shook the women's hand.

"The heavyweight! The Eight! Killer B!" The boisterous man, introduced himself.

"Yes well...Uzumaki-san" Yugito said, ignoring her partner. "I thought it would be a good gesture to greet casually...I dragged B-san here as well"

"Why would you do that, dream person?" Naruto asked, standing up.

dream person?...he is a weird one... Yugito thought to herself.

"I just figured since we jinchuriki are now in the same village we should meet at least once" She smiled at him.

"Jinchuriki! You guy's are dream jinchuriki?" Naruto asked.

"Um...yes...dream jinchuriki...however you like to say it" Yugito agreed.

'To each, his own' she remembered someone saying. She couldn't really fault him for being strange. Just look at the person next to her.

Killer B had tuned out the rest of the conversation, and began weaving his lyrical ninjutsu! Blessing the notebook he carried on him, with another epic poem.

Naruto looked at the two of them, and smiled. He was dreaming of meeting other jinchuriki. This made him long for his old friend even more.

But hey! If this is a dream, then he can dream of him. Dream...of Gaara. Reality might have robbed him of his friend, but in a dream...

"Okay! Here we go...and...Gaara...Gaara..." He tried using dream powers to summon his old friend.

"Gaara...Gaara? It's not working. Ah!"

Naruto remembered! He had to close his eyes first. Same way the first two appeared. He covered his eyes with his hands, and when he reopened them...nothing?

Where the hell was Gaara in his dream. Doing dream paperwork! He needs to get his sandy ass down here, and get some dream adventure on!

"Gaara?...the Kazekage!..." Yugito asked, wondering what the blond nin was doing.

"Yeah...I'm trying to summon him" Naruto answered.

Naruto clapped his hands together, and concentrated. Trying to focus his...'dream chakra' to bring the sand ninja into existence.

"sSummon him?" Yugito stared, wide-eyed. "But the Kazekage's dead. How on earth you gonna summon him?"

Naruto froze...he was dead in the dream world too! But...ugh. And this dream started off so well too.

"Arg...I can't even dream about him" Naruto whined.

"I guess that's enough dreaming...I'm ready to wake up now!" Naruto shouted to the sky.

"This...isn't a dream..." Yugito stated, incredulous.

"Dreamin'! Reamin'! Beamin'! Teamin'! Yeah!" B muttered to himself.

"Of course it is! I mean look around" Naruto replied.

"We're hovering in the sky...there's no one around but us! I should be in Konoha, sleeping right no-"

He was interrupted by Yugito giving him a hard pinch on the cheek. That hurt! Who did she think she was, pinching him on the...pain?

"That...hurt" The blond stated, holding his poor cheek.

"You don't feel pain in a dream right?" Yugito asked. "Ergo, this is not a dream"

"But-But-But...the clouds!" He stuttered, confused.

"This is Kumogakure...the village hidden in the clouds" She answered.

"T-This platform we're on...hovering in the sky!" He countered.

"We're not hovering in the sky...we're on the roof of a building" She counter-countered.

Naruto look over the edge of the 'hovering platform', and saw that it was indeed a building. Many buildings! It was a whole village.

"Real! But this isn't Konoha?" He panicked.

He looked around, and got a real look at the village. Mountainous, and cloudy. Kumogakure was a village of platforms with no real ground in sight.

The blond suddenly gained a sense of vertigo, and fell back from the edge. Not Konoha! Not Konoha at all. How did he get here? Sleep walking, had it's limits. Certainly, climbing up mountains was that limit.

"WHY AM I HHHHHHEEEEERRRRRREEEEEE!"

Tsunade surveyed her subordinates. As well as her advisors, the elders Homura, and Koharu. A big decision had been building up, and the day finally arrived to put it in motion.

All members of Konoha, recognized as speaking on behalf of their respective parties, were called to assemble.

Nara clan, Hyuga clan, Aburame clan, Yamanaka clan, Akamichi clan, and respected jonin attended. Even Danzo, deigned to show. All seated around each other.

There was no easy way to go about it. Sunagakure was finished! The Kazekage; dead. Wind Diamyo; abandoning them. And civil war; impending. The only thing keeping the village afloat was it's still in effect alliance with Konoha.

Something that was about to change today!

"So...what's it going to be?" Tsunade asked. "Iwa or Kumo?"

They were severing their ties with Suna, and looking into allying with another nation. Once they left, Sunagakure would be left to crumble.

Only problem...the two remaining villages were outright antagonistic to Konoha. Iwagakure, and Kumogakure. They only had an armistice alliance with the both of them. All that meant is that they wouldn't openly murder one another...as much.

"We tried a peace treaty with Kumogakure twice, hence" Homura started.

"The Niidaime died by Kumo ninja hands...shortly after the botched peace treaty with the second Raikage" He said.

"Yes...I abhore both choices..." Koharu chimed in. "Is the Mist village, not an option"

"No...the village hidden in the 'bloody' mist, is no option" Homura stated.

"While Kirigakure has been the least hostile...their brutality is known, and they have a tight rein on information coming out of the village"

"We have no idea who the current Mizukage is" He continued.

"And if it turns out the Yondaime Mizukage is still in charge...are we going to get into bed with a monster who pitted graduate students against one another in a fight to the death?" He rhetorically asked.

"Hmmm" Koharu hummed, silenced.

"Right, Kirigakure. Not an option" Tsunade announced, looking over to them.

"So, which one?"

The Godaime Hokage looked around the room. They've been in deliberations for weeks. Meeting after meeting. No one liked the proceedings. No one wanted to be there.

Kumogakure has tried to rob Konoha blind for years. Using the most underhanded tactics. From Kidnapping, to sacrificing their own in twisted machinations.

Hiashi Hyuga silently balled up a fist, but said nothing. He had some choice words, but kept them quiet. He'd speak only when a decision was made.

He still remembered the backhanded audacity Kumo had, kidnapping his daughter, and dare demanding retribution; when he retaliated.

There was Iwagakure. But Konoha, and Iwa hated each other so much, the Chunin Exams were the only tangible contact they made with one another.

The third Hokage, and the third Tsuchikage, never even sat beside one another while presiding over the Chunin Exams, Held in Iwa.

And it was against Iwa ninja, that Tsunade's beloved brother Nawaki died. Mutilated beyond recognition...the sannin shook those biased thoughts away.

So which one? The enemy who antagonized, because they wanted what you have. Or the enemy who despised you so much, they wanted nothing to do with you.

"We can't really win this one" Shikaku Nara spoke. "The Raikage could ask for anything"

"What do we do, if he asks for another Hyuga..." He asked those around him.

"We refuse..." Hiashi answered. "I'll say this now...if we do choose Kumo..."

"No Hyuga will step foot in the land of lightning!" He exclaimed.

Hiashi Hyuga stood and left. No matter the outcome, the Hyuga will not have anything to do with it. Anything asked of him, would be rebuked.

But first he needed to speak with the rest of the clan. It wouldn't be like the day he lost his brother. This time, no one in his family was going to cross him in this.

"Why ally ourselves with anyone?" Danzo spoke up. "The smaller nations are taking notice of Sunagakure's state"

"Instead of bending a knee to former enemies, let us absorb Sunagakure, and it's resources, before the other nations do the same" He continued.

Danzo spoke with confidence. Situations like this, are where is talents shined. Soon Sunagakure would crumble, and the smaller nations would move in like vultures.

"That would trigger the civil war in Suna...then a world war when the other nations pounce in" Tsunade responded.

"We consolidate Sunagakure swiftly..." Danzo replied. "Then it will be nothing we cannot handle"

"We must consider the possibility of peaceful resolution" Tsunade returned. "We will not jump into a war"

"The Raikage is known to be stubborn, and overbearing in the best of circumstances" Danzo countered.

"We must consider the possibility of a fourth shinobi war" He continued. "Instead of one the five nations. Let's consider making a pact with a smaller nation"

"Why bother with a smaller nation" Homura asked. "Alliance with any other than the great five, will not prevent war"

"Not prevent war. Prepare for war" Danzo explained. "Amegakure for example is small, but powerful. Let's not forget it's leader Hanzo the salamander"

"The man who named the legendary sannin...he is indeed a powerful presence" Koharu chimed in.

"And of the smaller nations, Ame certainly does well for itself" Homura mentioned. "It receives the most request out of all the smaller countries"

"Amegakure has been a constant battlefield in every war, I can foresee an alliance with them, rather than Kumogakure" Danzo stated.

"Hypothetically speaking, how do plan on getting their agreement" Tsunade asked, not buying his words.

"Simple...giving him a seat as the new Kage" Danzo clarified.

Everyone in the room, looked towards the old warhawk, like he was crazy. What he was suggesting was totally insane. Just give the seat of Kage to Amegakure!

"Hanzo wants nothing more than to see his rule maintained" Danzo said. "Offering him a place as one of the Kage would entice him greatly"

"Ame has not the power to assume status as one of the five" Tsunade spoke. "And we can't just give it to them, the other nations have to recognize them as well"

"Konoha will be the support Ame stands upon" Danzo answered. "as for recognition, winning the war with us will open the eyes of the other leaders"

"You're suggesting using Ame as a puppet empire" Inoichi spoke up. "Then bullying the other nations...but that plan only works, if we win"

"We will win" Danzo confidently, stated

"Ame has an even tighter grip on info than Kirigakure, it's leader; so paranoid, and untrusting even children must go through security checks" Tsunade countered.

"We can't trust someone, who doesn't trust anyone" She stated.

Tsunade, and Danzo shared a steely glare towards on another. They both stood at the exact opposite end of each others Ideals. Homura, and Koharu looked between them, noticing the intensity occurring. Homura coughed to get their attention back on talking.

"Amegakure is no option, then" Homura said.

Tsunade, and her entourage stood just outside the office of the Raikage. Preparing to present themselves.

Tsunade remembered little A, back when he was just a snot nosed brat. He'd grown pretty high, and mighty since he became Raikage. It was always about manliness with him. Now it's to the point, he even stopped wearing shirts all together.

She knew he would take anyone less than the Hokage, as an insult. So she came personally to extend the peace treaty. She inhaled, and exhaled. This was probably going to be the most annoying thing she's ever done.

"Hokage-sama!" C called opening the door. "Welcome to Kumogakure"

A sat silently before Tsunade. Neither one of them made sound when they met. And no one around dared to be the one to break the silence.

They just stared one another down. Not even pretending to care about civilities or politeness. It was just one powerful ninja, locking eyes with another.

"Well..." A finally spoke. "Let's not waste time...and get right to it"

"We've come for an alliance with Kumo..." Tsunade started. "Sunagakure is in danger of disappearing, and the whole world is getting ready for the fallout"

"If we don't establish peace, a fourth shinobi war is right around the corner" She continued.

"That's why I've come to you..." Tsunade finished.

"And why would I agree to this...Kumo does not fear war" A replied.

"You would allow a fourth war, when a simple alliance between two nations could prevent it" Tsunade argued.

"The weak die, and the strong survive! A ninja does not compromise!" A shouted.

"That may be, but as of this moment, you, and I, are not ninja!" Tsunade shouted back.

"We are diplomats, deciding the fate of their villages! Can you stop being such a stubborn fool, long enough to see that!" She demanded.

"...And what would Konoha be willing give up for this peace" A asked, considering her.

"You would demand a price for keeping the peace!" Tsunade questioned.

"There can be no peace without sacrifice..." A said plainly.

Tsunade glared at A. This was expected, and prepared for, but it angered her all the same. He wanted her to kiss his ass, and she was going to go along with it.

"Yes...well we have brought offerings to present to you" Tsunade motioned to her entourage. "In addition to dividing Sunagakure with yo-"

"You offer up your ally, and speak of conquering them" A interrupted her. "How can I ally with Konoha, when you speak of betrayal, so casually"

Tsunade felt a twinge of anger well up within. His arrogance was indeed annoying. But kept herself under control. She knew, he was testing her.

"Sunagakure cannot be saved, else we would be attempting that instead" She answered.

"..." A remained quiet.

"Konoha will annul it's alliance with Sunagakure" She announced.

"Hm...and establish one with Kumo instead. Together we'll squash the impending civil war, and absorb what remains, between our two countries" A correctly surmised.

"That's right" Tsunade confirmed. "Several parties of conflicted Sunagakure shinobi have already fled from their country to join ours"

"We will give these shinobi to kum-"

"Jinchuriki!" A interrupted again.

"W-what do you mean" Tsunade balled her fists. Being interrupted again, was trying her patience.

"Konoha has still has it's jinchuriki, correct...surrender him to Kumo" A explained.

"..."

Tsunade could only stand in silence. Of all the things for the things for him to ask for! It was always a possibility, Kumogakure has history of attempts to gain the Kyubi.

"That is all I ask for...do this and our alliance is guaranteed" A said.

"It's not that easy...our jinchuriki is...he will not come to Kumo willingly...at all" Tsunade growled.

"Who is he?" A asked.

Tsunade snapped her fingers, Shizune walked up, and handed the Raikage a folder. Tsunade prepared portfolios on all her subordinates, in case it was asked of her.

"Naruto Uzumaki..." A mumbled, looking over the blond's information.

"Interesting! It say here, he is the student of Jiraiya" He asked lifting an eyebrow. "Are they in any way at all alike?"

"...Very...alike" Tsunade cryptically answered.

"Very well...Mabui!" A called out to his assistant.

"Yes, Raikage-sama..." Mabui approached, and bowed respectfully.

"A picture of yourself, if you would"

She swiftly did as told. Handing her picture to him. He then handed the picture to Tsunade, who gave him a puzzled look.

"Tell the student of Jiraiya, that for his part, he shall receive Mabui as his wife"

"Huh?...come again" Tsunade asked, not believing her ears.

"Naruto Uzumaki will marry a Kunoichi of Kumogakure! At this wedding, both Kumo, and Konoha will celebrate the joining of lives, and of nations!" A reiterated.

"Even if you...he's not...I mean" Tsunade stuttered.

Despite her incoherent stuttering, A knew what the problem was. This is the student of the Jiraiya; bane of hot springs. A regulation picture of a kunoichi would barely illicit a glance.

"I see...Mabui! Saucier!" A called, again.

Mabui reached into a drawer, and pulled out a magazine. She handed it to the Raikage, and he displayed the cover, for Tsunade to see.

Her eyes widened a little. She recognized it. In fact, a long time ago she herself starred on the cover of the very same magazine. In it, she was named the most beautiful women in the world.

Kunioch! Magazine; the number one publisher to see deadly women with looks that can kill. It was a swimsuit article that starred kuniochi from all over the world in gravure poses.

On the cover was the Raikage's assistant Mabui, posing in a swimsuit, in one of Kumogakure's many hot springs.

"Tell the student of Jiraiya, that his wife is none other than Kunioch! Magazine's beauty of the month!" A restated.

"Uh...um...hm...somebody save me" Tsunade slumped down.

Tsunade stared Naruto in the eye from across her desk. He looked back, confused about why she called him, only they silent for like...five minutes.

The Hokage sighed. This wasn't going to be easy, and the outcome was probably going to be the same no matter how she went about it. So she contemplated simply knocking the blond out, and shipping him off to cloud, without any fuss.

"Naruto...we've come into an alliance with Kumogakure" Tsunade started speaking.

"Kumo?...sounds familiar?" Naruto (stupidly) said.

"To solidify our union, the Raikage has asked for a boon from Konoha" she continued, ignoring him.

"..." Naruto stared at her, confused.

Solidify? Boon? Hard words. The only thing he could make out from that sentence, was the Raikage asked for something.

"He asked for our jinchuriki...you Naruto. You are to move to Kumo, and we-"

"Wait! What are you trying to say, granny" He interrupted.

"If you let me...FINISH!...you'll understand right away" She slammed her fists onto her desk.

"You are to move to, and wed a kunoichi in Kumogakure" She...finished.

"So...move...as in...not live in Konoha anymore?" He asked.

"...Yes"

"Well, I won't do it...and this wedding a kunoichi...what's up with that?" He angrily said.

"...Let me make this as clear to you as I can...This. Is. Not. Up. For. Debate" Tsunade punctuated.

Naruto took a step back, and put his arms up defensively, seeing the dangerous glare in the Hokages eyes. She wasn't just joking around with him.

"You're going to live in Kumogakure. You're going to marry a kuniochi of the Raikage's choosing. And you are going, right now. Start packing!" She growled.

"No way...I can't waste time on this! Akatsuki! Those bastards killed Gaara, and I'm gonna make them pay" Naruto raised a fist.

"I'm afraid that's also a reason you're going to Kumogakure..." Tsunade said, calming down. "The Akatsuki just walked right in to Sunagakure, and took the Kazekage without any trouble whatsoever..."

"You're in danger...it's best if you go to Kumogakure" Her voice soften up, at that statement.

"In comparison to other villages, Kumo is downright progressive when it comes to jinchuriki" She said. "The Hachibi jinchuriki is the brother of the Raikage...he'll take care of you"

"I'm not afraid of Akatsuki, and I won't hide like some...scaredy cat" Naruto said, remembering a choice word from his former friend.

"It's great that you're not afraid, but you're still going to have to...not hide from them in Kumogakure" Tsunade shrugged.

"Come on! Don't I get any say in this! I don't even know this chick you're talking about" Naruto whined.

Tsunade sighed, and pulled open her drawer. She place a magazine on her desk, and directed Naruto's eyes to it.

"This is who you're marrying..." She pointed at the cover.

Naruto picked up the magazine, held it to his face, and examined it closely. Kunoich! Magazine...he was familiar with that particular publisher.

He looked intently at the cover. The girl on the cover. In a white swimsuit, posing by a hot spring. The beauty of the month! Lovely Mabui, it said.

His wife? Impossible! A model in his favorite swimsuit mag...must be some kind of trick! Well, he's not falling for it.

"She-She's not so special" Naruto stated, unaware of his massive nosebleed.

"...Sunagakure's on the verge of collapse, and once it does, every village is going to jump on it, to gain the spoils" Tsunade sighed.

"All you have to do is marry one cute girl, and a fourth shinobi war is completely averted" Tsunade reasoned, seeing him holding strong, but his will breaking.

"Suna's gonna collapse?" Naruto asked, surprised.

Damn. Why did she have to say that! Naruto wasn't going to let the fact that they were abandoning Suna slide. Why couldn't he just take the boobies, and go?

"We gotta do something...we can't just let Gaara's village disappear!" He shouted.

"We can't save Suna..." She said, immediately.

"What?...no, we have to try! We have to to! For Gaara, and granny Chiyo" Naruto argued.

"We've already considered every possiblity...trying to save Suna will only lead to war"

"But-"

"Enough!" SHE interrupted, this time. "There is only one way this doesn't end in total chaos, and it's if two villages ally, and take control of the situation in Suna before it explodes...",

"But-"

"It's this or the apocalypse, Naruto!" She finalized her argument with that.

"Now you either go peacefully or..." She cracked her knuckle, and let the meaning therein finish her sentence.

"You're gonna have to catch me first!" He said, indignantly.

Naruto took off running from the Hokage tower, and made a thousand shadow clone to cover his escape. He wasn't getting married; grandma's gonna have to find somebody else to sell to Kumogakure.

Tsunade glared out of her window, and watched Naruto make 'what he thinks' was a brilliant escape. Too bad for him though...the game was on!

"Yamato!" She called, and the ninja in question appeared.

"Mission priority one: subdue Naruto Uzumaki, and prepare for transfer" She commanded.

"yes! Hokage-sama" He nodded.

He flickered out of the room, and went after Naruto. She completely expected his reaction, and already had his possessions packed, so all she needed was the boy himself. she walked out of her office, confident of Yamato's success.

Now it was time for her check up on Danzo, and make sure none of his backhanded schemes were in the works. If her peaceful resolution worked, his war resolution wouldn't be needed, and she needed to make sure, he understood that.

Naruto slurped up a filling bowl of ramen noodles. He just remembered why he was in Kumogakure.

Grandma Tsunade, and the Raikage arranged a marriage for him to what, probably will not be Mabui the Kunoich! model.

He needed fuel for the day, so he asked Yugito Nii, if the village happened to have a place he could get some ramen.

She took him to the local ramen shop, and left. Stating that she had to prepare a dress for his...wedding day. No getting used to that.

The shop's name was Ukarichi ramen, and had this...strange feeling about it. He'd never been to cloud country before, but this ramen felt like a small piece of home.

"Can I get you anything else?" Ayamu, his server asked.

Ukarichi ramen was a family owned shop, served by old lady Tseuki, and her young son Ayamu. Something was just so familiar about them, he just couldn't place his finger on it.

"Hey, you guys seem familiar...you guy's ever been to Ichiraku ramen" Naruto asked.

"Ichiraku ramen?...oh!...heh heh...funny! You're funny!" Tseuki chuckled.

"That was pretty original too...here funny guy, have another, on the house" She said, still laughing.

Naruto didn't get, what was so funny...but free ramen, yay! He asked for another order of miso ramen, and chowed down.

"I know you! You're the guy getting married in a few days" Ayamu said.

Naruto choked a little. Did everyone already know about it? Was this that big a deal?

"Uh yeah..."

"Man, that's the shindig of the year, I wish our restaurant got invited to cook! imagine the publicity...a whole other nation" Ayamu beamed.

"Uh...sure...you can come cook..." Naruto half-mindedly said.

"What! Really! Do you mean that!" Ayamu asked, excitedly.

"Of course, I hate to be there, and find no ramen"

"Did you hear that ma, we've been invite to cook at the wedding! From the groom, no less" He shouted back to his mother in the kitchen.

"Whoa! All right then, Ayamu wrap it up" She emerged. "We're closing up, early. We've got supplies to get"

"And you! As thanks, you get a free bowl a ramen from us, every month for the rest of your life!" She stated.

"WOW!" Naruto bellowed.

"Making yourself at home, huh" A familiar voice called out from behind.

Naruto turned, and laid eyes on none other than his own sensei; Jiraiya standing with a cheeky smirk, and his arms crossed.

"Pervy sage!" Naruto got up, and hugged his master.

Naruto wasn't normally this touchy-feely with the old perv, but seeing a familiar face, among all the strangers. Just felt so refreshing.

"Yes, yes, come on now...you've got a wife for this kind of stuff now" Jiraiya joked, and pushed him away.

"Oh...you heard about that..." Naruto said, slumping down.

"Of course I did...I was invited personally" Jiraiya said, while pointing to himself.

"You were invited to my wedding...who's giving out these invitations?" The blond pondered.

"Are you saying you wouldn't have invited me? Oh Naruto...you're gonna break my heart" Jiraiya dramatically held his chest.

"No, no it's not that it's just...who exactly is coming? I'm definitely not the one inviting people" Naruto scratched his head, nervously.

"Everyone..." Jiraiya answered.

"Everyone...Sakura-chan is coming?" he smiled at thought of his teammate.

"And Tsunade-hime, and Kakashi, AND...all your friends back home, are getting ready for this celebration...except for those Hyuga friends of yours" Jiraiya said.

"Neji, and Hinata...they're not coming?" Naruto's eyes widened in surprise.

"Nope! Hiashi Hyuga; the clan head, has forbidden all Hyuga from attending" Jiraiya curtly said.

"That's pretty rude! wh-"

"It's not about you, it's about...the clan head just doesn't feel they'd be safe" Jiraiya cut him off.

"Safe? Wh-"

"No, no, no...I didn't come here to talk politics...I came to meet your wife" Jiraiya interrupted, with a perverted leer.

"Beauty of the month...you lucky dog, you!" The sannin beamed, and gave him a thumbs up.

"I haven't met her, yet" Naruto, said dismissively.

"Damn! I'll have to wait till the wedding for you to introduce me" He said snapping his fingers.

"I have to say when Tsunade told me, I didn't believe you would agree so readily" He changed the subject. "I mean, you...agreeing to leave Konoha to live in Kumo? Not on your life"

"But then she showed me who you would be marrying..." He paused to motion an hourglass figure with his hands.

"I don't blame you for giving up the freedom to leave, for that!...I'd take that ball, and chain, gladly!" he laughed, heartily.

Naruto just sighed. Of course that's why he's here, to ogle his supposedly hot wife...wait? What did he say giving up the freedom to leave?

"Pervy sage...what did mean by that...give up my freedom, you're not saying my wife going be some sort of fire-breathing dragon, are you" Naruto grimaced.

"What?...no...they didn't tell you?" He got serious, and said cryptically.

"Tell me...what?" Naruto asked, a little freaked out.

Jiraiya placed a hand on the blond's shoulder, and gave him a stern look in the eye. He didn't think he'd be the one to have to break the news.

"Naruto...a long time ago, the Raikage declared an official decree, that the jinchuriki of Kumogakure are forbidden from leaving the village..."

"..." Naruto stared, speechless.

"You can never leave Kumogakure...I'm sorry" Jiraiya gave him a sympathetic look.

"..."

"RAIKAGE!"

A looked up, and paused from his exercise routine. It was the Kyubi jinchuriki; Naruto Uzumaki. He knew Tsunade transferred him to Kumo, but hadn't thought to make an introduction, until the wedding.

But since he's decided to present himself, he might as well give his new shinobi, the welcome.

"Naruto Uzumaki...greetings, I am the lord Raikage of Kumogakure, I welc-"

"IS IT TRUE, I CAN NEVER LEAVE THE VILLAGE!" the blond continued shouting.

"...It is indeed correct" A confirmed for him, just a little annoyed. "Jinchuriki are forbidden from leaving Kumogakure"

"You can't do that, I've got something I've got to do...a promise I need to keep" Naruto argued.

"Say, no more" The Raikage dropped his bar bell, and stood.

Darui, and C shifted nervously. Everyone in the room took a step back, giving the Raikage, and Naruto ample space. They knew what was about to go down.

"My very own brother. Killer B has often made his complaints known" A walked forward. "He is the Hachibi jinchuriki, and like you. Confined to this village"

"But I am not without a sense of fair play" A removed his robes, and hat. "A challenge! Defeat me in competition, and I will allow you free passage to, and from this village!"

"But know! My brother has challenged me, one hundred, and eight times. And never triumphed" He was practically standing over Naruto, as he said this.

"...I'll do it! What's the challenge?" The blond said, determined.

Everyone in the room, took an even further step back. Naruto noticed, and looked around confused. They were all giving this weird look, he couldn't place his finger on.

"Accepted! The challenge is a head on clash between two lariats! Yours and mine! The stronger, wins!" A stated, crouching down, into position.

"...What's a lariat?" Naruto asked.

The air around the room somehow grew colder from that statement. Darui stepped forward, and cleared his throat.

"A lariat is...well...you simply extend your arm, outward and rush towards your opponent, like this" Darui extended his arm, and rushed forward in demonstration.

"You aim for your opponent's neck, and...lariat" He shrugged his shoulders.

"Oh! A clothesline!" Naruto said, getting it.

"Is that what they call it in Konoha?...clothesline!" Darui stroked his chin.

"So you understand!" A asked, still in position.

"Yes, definitely" Naruto said excited, clasping a fist in the palm of one hand.

"Then take your position there! Darui will say when it's time to begin!" A said, stiffening up.

"Okay!"

Naruto, Happily saluted, took position, and mimicked the Raikage's posture. Crouching down with one fist on the ground, and hand on one knee.

"And...GO!" Darui announced.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhh hhhhhh!"

Naruto crashed through the window of the Raikage office, and slammed into a far away platform, below it. He lost! That much was obvious, but somehow he didn't see himself lose.

It happened so fast! One moment he's ready to...lariat. The next, he's flying through air. He didn't see the Raikage move. Did he use some jutsu to push him or was he really that fast.

In any case it didn't matter. He had to leave this village someday; kick Sasuke's ass, kick Orochimaru's ass, and then kick Akatsuki's ass. He had so much ass to kick, he should make a list. He ran back up into the building. Victory in his heart, and even more convicted to win.

"RAIKAGE!" Naruto's loud voice, and stomping footsteps rang throughtout the building.

"I DEMAND A REMATCH!" the blond shouted, bustling, back into A's office.

"Darui!" A said, getting into position.

Darui stepped forward, and prepared to referee. He had a somewhat amused expression on his face. Two challenges in one day. Their new comrade was brave or insane.

"I gotcha this time" Naruto said, taking position

"And...GO!" Darui announced.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhh hhhhhh!"

Naruto's voice faded out as he flew from the same hole he put in the window, the first time.

Okay! So he really was that fast! Naruto was surprised the first time, but this time he definitely saw the Raikage move. He moved so fast, he actually crossed the distance between them, before the blond even advanced an inch.

But that was just round one...two. One more time, ought to be enough to get a handle on this. He made his way back up the building, to the wide-eyed disbelief of everyone in the room.

The Raikage simply smiled at the blond's tenacity. He assumed his new Kumo ninja had given up.

"Rematch!" Naruto said, walking in.

Everyone, once again took a step back, and sighed. They thought the challenges were through for today. Darui shook his head, and stepped forward.

"And...go..." Darui said with as little excitement as possible.

Naruto awoke with a splitting headache. He lost...again! That Raikage guy, was something else. The blond never even got the chance to move.

"You're really something else" C said using his medical ninjutsu to soothe Naruto.

"Even B-san stops, after the first loss" C smiled.

Naruto sat up, aching. His everything hurt! That Raikage guy hits as hard as grandma Tsunade. He wobbly stood up on jello legs.

"Re-rematch!" Naruto dizzily said.

"I don't advise that...if you keep this up...we'll have to postpone the marriage, while you recover in the hospital" C said, holding Naruto's shoulders to prevent him from falling.

"I have to...save Sasuke...and avenge Gaara...and...and" He was too tired to finish.

"Gaara the Kazekage...you want revenge on Akatsuki for killing him..." C asked. "I didn't know any other jinchuriki were close, besides B-san, and Yugito-san"

"Yeah...he was my friend...he and granny Chiyo died because of them" Naruto responded. "Then there's Sasuke's brother; Itachi...and Orochimaru...theres so much I need to do" he grunted.

Naruto pushed himself off C, and tried walking. Pepared to make his way back up to the Raikage for another challenge.

"I'll make that Raikage guy acknowledge me, if it's the last thing I do!" Naruto exclaimed, raising a fist.

"The will of fire!" Mabui said, approaching her future husband.

"You?..." Naruto said, slack-jawed, disbelieving.

Mabui stood in front of him, and smiled. It really was her. The model from the magazine. Her light green eyes, her creamy chocolate skin, her light grey hair. The only thing missing was the lack of clothes!

"Hello, Naruto. I am your wife Mabui Uzumaki, I'm the personal assistant to Raikage-sama" She introduced herself.

"...Your last name is Uzumaki too?.." He asked, surprised.

"Of course! You, and I are getting married, so I took the liberty of unofficially calling myself by your family name...before it becomes official" She bowed, politely.

C put a hand to chin, and furrowed his brows in thought. It wasn't the first time he heard someone state the will of fire. But where was it?...oh!

"The will of fire?...yes I did hear that phrase before" C thought to himself.

"Yeah...a Konoha shinobi I met, gave me a really moving speech involving that phrase..." C remembered. "...Right before I killed him.."

C looked over to see Naruto, and even Mabui giving him an annoyed look. He grew nervous from their total lack of response.

"...But...of course I'm sure he...was a better speech writer than ninja" Naruto silently stared at C for a 'awkward in his opinion' amount of time.

"..."

...Of all Konoha shinobi I've killed...I'd say his, was..." C paused, noticing the very unamused air around Naruto.

"...I'll just leave you two, to get to know each other" C walked away, embarrassed.

Naruto looked at his future wife. She had an air of calmness around her, and a business-like way of conducting herself. Her facial expressions changed very little, at all. She seemed totally accepting of the situation. She even took on his last name.

"...Did you...agree to this..." Naruto asked his...soon-to-be-wife.

"Of course" she responded plainly.

"You volunteered to get married?.."

"No...Raikage-sama simply commanded me to do so" Mabui, either didn't notice, or ignored Naruto's jaw dropping.

"So...he just told you to do this, and you said yes.." Naruto said, with a bit of contempt.

"Raikage-sama's will is my will. I happily give myself to you" She bowed again.

"You don't even know me. So you can't possibly love me...why marry someone you don't love?" Naruto asked, tiredly.

"To prevent a fourth shinobi world war, and broker peace between two nations" She said in a 'matter of fact' sort of way.

"...But don't you think your feelings, matter at all" Naruto sadly, asked.

"You keep talking about me...but really you are talking about yourself" Mabui replied, while staring her fiancé right in the eyes.

Naruto averted his gaze. She pierced straight at the heart of the matter. He looking for problems she had, but really, it was him; looking for an excuse.

"Are you displeased with this marriage?"

Mabui placed a hand on his cheek, and returned his gaze to her. They stood silently for a moment, looking one another in eyes.

Naruto looked down away from her, after a while. She was pretty no doubt, but her face just kept reminding him of his pink-haired teammate; Sakura-chan.

And Sakura-chan reminded of his promise, and his promise reminded him of Sasuke, and Sasuke reminded him of Orochimaru...and Orochimaru reminded him of Akatsuki...and Akatsuki reminded him of Gaara.

There was just one big circle of guilt, twirling around in his head. One thing he said he'd take care of one after the other, and finally...he's going on, like none of it even happened.

"Would you rather take another women as your wife?" She asked.

"If you prefer, I could show you some pictures of other Kumo kuniochi" She said.

"No, you're...you're...beautiful. I can't imagine doing any better" He nervously, replied.

And there was always the fact that, no matter who he picked, it was still going to be another stranger. He already got a model, so why push his luck.

He just didn't think politics would be the main reason for him getting married. He thought he'd at least get to fall in love before he finally took the big step.

"Can you rise above the clouds..." Mabui said, breaking him from his stupor.

"Huh..." He looked her back in the eyes.

"Can you rise above the clouds, when pelted with hail" She continued.

"Can you rise above the clouds, when struck by lightning" She placed a hand on his stomach.

"Can you rise above the clouds, when tossed around by a tornado" She brought her hand up to his chest.

"Can you rise above the clouds" She touched his forehead with her finger.

"It's a saying in Kumo" she explained. "We don't have any will of fire, but we teach it to children in the academy"

"Right now, a lot of people are counting on us to show them, we don't have to be enemies"

"And the only boon asked of you, is to get married, and be happy together with me" She said.

"Instead of going to war, our people are going to come together, and celebrate" She took him by the hands. "To drink together, and laugh together"

"It might not solve every problem, everywhere; but we can at least stop it from getting worse" She smiled at him.

Naruto just sighed. He was better at punching problems away, not...marrying them away. This was important to a lot of people, he understood that...but it still felt like doing nothing.

"Why don't you just give me a shot...I don't think I'd make too bad a wife" She seductively, hummed.

She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and brought their faces closer together. She was preparing to kiss him, from what he could tell.

Naruto turned beet red, at the sudden gesture. Kissing! His first ki-Banish the evil thoughts! His second kiss, at least. He pursed his lips, and placed them next to hers.

Their lips touched, and parted quickly. A simple smooch! But an amazing one, he noted. Naruto just noticed that while he kissed her, he wrapped his arms around her waist.

They stayed together for a few moments. Total silence around them. Locked together in a warm embrace. Naruto felt that, like this he could maybe, fall in love with her. The got closer for another kiss, until...

A shadow expanding over them, alerted them to the falling object about to slam into where they are standing.

Picking up his future wife in a bridal style carry, Naruto jumped away. Letting the object slam into the space they were occupying.

"Oh bro! Your left-o's still stronger than my right-o!" Killer B rhymed, rising.

"B-sama" Mabui called.

Naruto let her down, and she walked over to greet the other jinchuriki. Naruto looked up. He fall, just like the blond did a moment ago. He must be the brother, the Raikage was talking about.

"Challenged Raikage-sama again, did you" She asked.

"The ceremony is in a few days, why would you want to leave at a time like this?" Mabui smiled at B.

"The land o' fire, and the land o' cloud! Comin' together to get loud!" he rhymed.

"This wedding's gonna be one for the ages! Gotta get some inspiration for my hip hop pages!" He rapped out.

Killer B was hard at work! Konoha, and Kumo were going to party, hardy! He was going to put on a rap concert at the after party.

His ordinary beats weren't gonna cut it! He needed to give the performance of a lifetime! He needed to walk the lands, and get his creative juices flowing!

The concert needs to be perfect! Imagine gettin' on stage, an drawin' a blank on a beat! It be a catastrophe! Konoha, and Kumo might start warrin' right then, and there!

No! He needed to bring his A-game! His top notch work! The peace of the world was counting on him!

"Yeah!...Mabui, and the Nine..." Killer B started, but trailed off.

"Mabui, and the Nine..." He started again.

"Nine...nine...nine" He mumbled to himself.

Naruto stared at him, while Mabui just sighed. As usual B-sama was being his eccentric self.

"Hey! Cool fool!" He pointed at Naruto.

"Hmm?" The blond raised an eyebrow.

"You been the Kyubi jinchuriki for a while, right!" B asked, for once not rhyming.

"Yeah...I've been like this since I was born" Naruto answered.

"Coo! Then I challenge you!" B announced.

"Challenge?...you wanna do that lariat thing with me?"

"Incorrect-o! This Eight-o has a challenge of his own-o!" B rhymed.

"Right, I accept" Naruto said, preparing for whatever challenge he thought up.

"Alrighty! My challenge is...what...rhymes with nine..." B 'suspensefully' stated.

"..." Mabui, speechless.

"..." Naruto, speechless.

Killer B stood waiting the answer to his challenge! Indeed, it was a tough one! Perhaps he'll have look into buying a dictionary if even the nine-tails jinchuriki couldn't answer.

"...Intertwine..." Naruto slowly said.

"...OH!..." B placed his hand on his forehead.

"Mabui, and the Nine intertwine!" B finally finished his rap.

"Ho ho, you're stronger than I thought you'd be!" B complimented.

"Not since my bro, has my challenge been completed! Ho!" He walked closer to Naruto. "Come on! Lay one on me! Gimme' a rhyme! Cool fool!"

"What?.." Naruto asked, confused. Mabui leaned, and whispered into his ear.

"Oh, you want me to rap" Naruto heard from his future wife.

"..."

"Hey, Hey soon to be HoKaGey! NaRuTo UzuMaKi! So nice TO be ME!" Naruto unleashed his 'epic poem'.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Sweet Beat!" B stuck out his fist.

"Hm?" Naruto eyed him, curiously. Mabui whispered into his ear again.

"Oh!" Naruto bumped fists with Killer B. He was a strange guy. But a pretty cool one.

"Stop, an stare! The strongest pair! Eight an' Nine combine! Too fine!" Killer B rhymed.

Intertwine! Combine! Fine!...he was back baby! He kicked that rut in the butt! And it was time to get back to business! Becoming rap champ of the world! Oh yeah!

"No time to gawk! Gotta fly like a hawk!" B took off.

"B-sama..." Mabui mumbled, amused.

"Can you rise above the clouds" She turned to Naruto, getting back to their subject.

"...Yes...I will marry you, Mabui Uzumaki" He said, bowing, understanding her.

"I graciously accept you, Naruto Uzumaki" She bowed in exchange.

She reached into her cleavage, pulling out a piece of paper. She handed the paper to Naruto, and smiled lightly.

"What's this?" He said, looking over what looked like a list.

"My likes, and dislikes" She said, plainly.

"Foot licking?...cuna-cuni-cuniilig" Naruto stuttered out, trying to read the strange word.

"Cunnilingus" Mabui clarified.

"What's that?" Naruto asked. She whispered into his ear...his jaw dropped, his nose bled, and his face changed colors.

"Cuddling, french kissing...69ing, butt play" He read on. "Reverse cowgirl...roleplaying?..."

"Wha-Wha What is this?" He asked, embarrassed.

"I told you, my likes, and dislikes" She said, casually.

"You should give me a list of your likes, and dislikes" She told him. "When we consummate the marriage, this will maximise our sexual efficiency"

"Sexual eff-eff...SEX!" He said, surprised.

"Yes! Would you prefer we have children now or some time in the future" Mabui asked, businesslike.

"Uh...future..." Naruto answered, stunned by her casualness.

"Very well, I'll schedule it for another date" She nodded.

"Schedule!...You have a plan for all this?"

"Correct! Two weeks from today, you, and I will wed" She started.

"Wleven a.m. The wedding begins. Four p.m. The after party starts. Ten p.m. The party ends"

"Ten-thirty p.m. We arrive at our new home. Eleven p.m. We make love. Twelve-thirty a.m. We sleep"

"Four years from now we have children, and twenty years from then, we die in combat"

Naruto stared silently at her. She planned out the times of the wedding. She planned out the time they'd have sex (a whole hour, and thirty minutes! Good God! This woman!) Disturbingly she planned out the time they'd die...in combat no less.

"Hey...shouldn't that last one be, live happily ever after, or something" Naruto asked.

"No! We must die in combat, like proper shinobi" She said, as though speaking of the weather.

"...Right...totally...of course" Naruto replied, dumbfounded.

"Mabui..." Naruto called her name.

"Yes"

"The Raikage's...boon was for us to get married, right!"

"Correct"

"Hm"

A stood before the godaime Hokage in his office. Another huge decision had to be made. The turn of events would influence the entire course the alliance.

"This one...or this one" A asked her, holding up a tie.

"A...are you planning on showing up to this wedding without a shirt?" Tsunade twitched an eyebrow.

"I must look my best...and my best is..." He flexed his pecs.

"You are the same Tsunade. The clothing you have picked out, all prominently display your generous bust" A said pointing to her chest.

"It's not the same! I'll still have a top on" She defended.

They decided to do the ceremony with the respective leaders, wearing the other country's ceremonial clothing. Tsunade thought of it, thinking it would be a good idea for proving the alliance was genuine.

"RAIKAGE!"

A heard the blond's voice calling again. Naruto Uzumaki! That guy had a lot of determination. It was admirable, how often he rose to challenge him.

Naruto burst through the door, and A got into position. Naruto paused before him, with a puzzling look on his face. A stood back up, confused.

"Naruto! Good timing! What do you think...this one or this o-" Tsunade was interrupted.

"I HAVE A BOON TO PICK WITH YOU!" Naruto shouted, pointing at A.

"Pardon..." A asked, confused.

"I WANT TO BOON YOU!" He shouted, again.

"...Come again..." A raised an eyebrow.

"Ha, ha, ha seems the groom has some wedding day jitters" Darui laughed.

C, and Darui laughed quite hard, as Naruto turned red from embarrassment. Naruto tried again speaking again, jumbling around with his words.

"No...I...you booned me, so I was gonna boon you...and..." Naruto trailed off, feeling idiotic.

"Naruto..." Tsunade sighed.

He thought he was using the word correctly. Boon. To boon. The act of booning...words should be simpler. Naruto fumbled around, while Darui patted his back, still laughing.

"You wish to ask something of me" A said, getting the blond's meaning.

"Yes" Naruto answered.

"Out with it" A commanded.

"I have a friend I promised to save...Sasuke Uchiha" Naruto stated. "For my boon you have to retrieve him from Orochimaru, and return him to Konoha!"

"I can't leave Kumo, but you, you're strong; can I leave his task to you?" Naruto kneeled down low, and closed his eyes.

"Sasuke Uchiha?...ah!" A remembered. "Tsunade, I thought Konoha would have taken care of that by now"

"Hmmm" Tsunade growled, and simply glared.

A returned his gaze to a still kneeling Naruto, and looked intently at him. His hands were fisted, and shaking. He could tell this somehow meant a lot to his new Kumo shinobi.

Strength, and respect are an absolute in the shinobi world, kneeling like this showed weakness!...but...the boy recognized the Raikage's power.

And A was the blond's new leader, so he was technically showing respect. And even though he desperately wanted to leave, he is willing to leave a task that means so much to him in someone elses hands.

That takes a certain kind of strength, at the very least. A looked toward the ceiling, and back to Naruto.

"Rise Uzumaki!...no one kneels in Kumogakure!" A stated.

The blond stood up, and looked A in the eye. He was slightly worried. No kneeling in Kumogakure! He hopes he didn't do the wrong thing.

"Your boon! I accept it!" A annouced.

"Yes!...one more thing! Grandma!" Naruto called the Hokage.

"Grr...brat..." she angrily, growled out, at having been refered to like that.

"Uh...hahaha...I-I have a boon for you, too" He nervously stated.

"What?" she asked, contemplating, a painful beating.

"Once Sasuke Uchiha is returned...He and Sakura Haruno have to get married, too!" he exclaimed.

He didn't like what he just said, but he remembered how much Sakura-chan liked the bastard. And he wasn't the going to be the only one getting married, not if he could help it.

"Wha...I...you" She stuttered.

"Yes! Boon accepted!" A spoke 'for' her.

"Sasuke Uchiha will be retrieved! And upon return, Sakura Haruno, and Sasuke Uchiha will be wed!" A shouted.

"It will be written in stone!" He pointed to the floor.

A charged his fist with lightning chakra, and punched the ground. Lightning flashed, and faded. Upon the ground beneath him appeared...what he just previously stated.

"Raikage-sama...not again" Mabui sighed, walking in.

Her Raikage-sama once again, decided to forgo writing utensils, and just etch into his own office floorboard. She now has to schedule even more repairs to his abused work space.

"Alright!" Naruto held out his fist, towards A.

"Hm, hm" A fist bumped Naruto, happily.

Tsunade just sighed. Another marriage being planned before the groom even realized it. If-WHEN that day came, she might just have to rinse, and repeat the tactics she used on Naruto.

Tsunade briefly wondered, what face her student would make when she told her Naruto just married her off. Maybe she'd be happy, Tsunade did recall that Sakura had a crush on the missing Uchiha.

"Yes, now back to business" A said. "Uzumaki!"

"huh?" Naruto said.

"...This...or this..." A asked, holding up ties.

"Pick out a shirt, already!" Tsunade complained.

"Bah" A grunted.

"Naruto" she turned to him, and called out.

"This one...or this one" she asked, holding up dresses.

He pointed to the one in her left hand; a backless black silk piece with halterneck top, and a slit for the legs. Tsunade nodded, dropped the other dress, and posed the one in her hand over her clothes.

"Now...more...or less bust" She asked, pouting like a model.

"More!" He enthusiastically answered.

"Just as, I thought" She complimented herself. "Now get out of here! You should be getting your measurements taken by now"

Samui sighed at her stupid brother Atsui. He was looking for the new jinchuriki; Naruto Uzumaki. Apparently her brother saw the new Kumo shinobi challenge the Raikage to a lariat contest...and lost, of course. But he came back...three times in fact.

He was impressed by the other ninja's ability to eat dirt, it seems. What was wrong with him? He would get to see Naruto at his wedding, why get so worked up over things...and why did he have to drag her along.

They walked the village for quite some time looking for a man in orange. She wondered why she even bothered humoring him. They were alerted to the sound of footsteps.

"Samui-san, Atsui-san" The two ninja looked over to see her two teammates; Omoi, and Karui approaching.

"Where are you guys headed" Karui asked, stopping in front of them.

"We're going to see that hotshot, Uzumaki!" Atsui said, looking around.

"Aaaahhhh!" Omoi gasped. "You can't"

"What? Why not" Atsui asked.

"I heard he's the student of jiraiya; the bane of hot springs" Omoi whispered.

"You're bringing, your big-breasted sister" Omoi pointed to said big-breasted sister.

"What if he sees her, and decides he wants to marry Samui instead of Mabui, and they fight over him. And they wind up killing each other, and Naruto see his two lovers killed, and decides to commit suicide, and entrusts his children to me as their godfather, an-" Omoi was interrupted by a sharp crack on the skull by Karui.

"IDIOT! IN WHAT UNIVERSE ARE YOU LIVING!" Karui shouted.

"...Wait, we were going to see Naruto too!" Karui glared. "How come you didn't say anything about him, marrying me instead!"

"What if he sees me, and immediately declares his love for me" Karui started blushing. "I mean, he is his student, he must be a lover of women, too"

"What will I do, if he sees my gorgeous face, and wants to elope with me" She swooned. "what'll I do"

"No chance! You're living in a totally different universe" Omoi dismissed.

Karui then proceeded to angrily beat the hell of her (stupid) teammate (who doesn't know what he's talking about). Samui just ignored the usual antics of her team. While she was interested in meeting their new comrade, he was confined to the village.

They could meet him anytime they wanted, and they were going to be introduced at the upcoming wedding. Why did they have to make such big deal over little things.

"Well, I'd be fine with gaining a brother-in-law" Atsui, 'hotly' debated. "My sis is way too cold...Naruto is scorching hot"

"Hn!" Samui refused to dignify that.

"I think, him putting a bun in her oven, would heat her up, nicely" Atsui, punched the air as he said so.

"Hn!" Samui crossed her arms, and turned away from him.

"You should have seen him against Raikage-sama" He said, excited. "He was blazing! A flame that wouldn't die out"

"I gotta give him my props for going three hot rounds with Raikage-sama" Atsui said, smiling.

"Yeah! I saw it! He was pretty cool!" Karui paused in her beat down, to join him. "Only B-sama has ever taken more than one"

"Karui! Ow! What if you damaged my brain, and I fell into a coma, and-" Omoi was struck by Karui, again.

"You're already brain-damaged" She growled.

"You guys should quit playing around" Samui interjected. "We should be getting fitted for our outfits to the wedding"

"That's right!" Karui spoke. "I picked out a lovely green dress, that shows off my best assets"

"What assets? eek!" Omoi had to dodge another strike.

"Yeah! I'm wearing a hot red tux" Atsui said. "I'll be blazing at the wedding.

"What about you, Samui-san" Karui asked.

"Hn"

"I said..."

"What are you wearing to the wedding?"

"Hello...earth to Sakura" Ino waved in front of her spaced out friend's face.

"Wha...I..I haven't decided yet" Sakura replied.

Sakura blushed in embarrassment. She was so lost in thought she had forgotten what she was doing. They were in Konoha's local shopping center looking for formal dresses to wear at Naruto's wedding.

"wWell, I know what I'm wearing...something sexy...something dazzling" Ino winked.

"At a wedding, Ino?" Sakura raised an eyebrow.

"Of course!" Ino replied. "weddings lead to weddings...maybe I'll meet a hunk there"

Sakura couldn't believe it. Going to a wedding...Naruto's wedding, she didn't think she would end up at his wedding before she got married herself. She also never would have imagined Naruto would be marrying a swimsuit model.

When Tsunade-shishou told her that Naruto was getting married to a Kumogakure kunoichi, she was surprised...when she showed her that magazine, she was really surprised. That beautiful girl was the one, Naruto was marrying.

She always thought Naruto would marry someone not as pretty as her...scratch that! That almost sounded jealous?...what she means is, that Naruto...just didn't seem like the marrying type.

He only ever proposed to her when they were kids, but he was just playing around to annoy her. But now he's...leaving to live with another kunoichi, in another village...and never coming back...it made her heart ache.

She was happy for him, landing a pretty girl, but...she was kind of losing a friend. The land of lightning is five days of travel. Sure, since they were getting into an alliance with Kumo she could visit whenever she wanted, but...he just...gave up his status as a Konoha ninja for a pretty women.

She didn't think he'd ever do that. He was always talking about being Hokage someday, now it was...having a wife, and kids someday. Was he maturing or...did she not know her blond teammate as well she thought.

"You're...zoning out, again!" Ino tickled her from behind.

"Eek! heheheh...stop it!" she smacked her hands away.

Sakura put a stop to her friend's playfulness, and focused on finding a nice dress. Ino planned on wearing something lacy, and flashy. While Sakura just wanted simple, and tasteful. One in particular catching her eye.

"aAh! This!" Sakura held up a green sundress.

Ino turned around, and glanced at what her friend was holding. She almost laughed at Sakura's pauper-like fashion sense.

"Perfect!...if you want to stand in a corner while everyone ignores you" Ino gave her sarcastic opinion.

"What's wrong with it!" She sulked.

"This isn't just any old wedding" She ripped the 'ugly' dress from her friends hands. "It's Naruto's wedding!"

"wha-what difference does that make" Sakura blushed a little.

"The difference is.." Ino got behind Sakura, and whispered in her ear. "Your supposed to make him see what he just missed"

"You have to show off your...assets" Sakura squeaked, as Ino harshly spanked her on the butt.

"YOU! INO-PIG!" She angrily shouted, rubbing her poor behind.

"Can't do anything for the bust, but you do alright from behind" Ino gave her friend, a wink. "You just have to capitalize on it!"

Sakura simply growled holding her (modest)chest instinctively. She might not be as big as Ino or Naruto's fiancé, but petite women had their charm. And besides, she always felt her long leg were her best asset.

"Ah ha! Here we are!" Ino proudly announced, turning around with a dress.

"What is...Ino!" Sakura glared at her friend.

She was holding a silk, red, backless, spaghetti strap minidress with a slit down the side. The exact opposite of simple and tasteful.

"We're attending his wedding...not trying to seduce him" Sakura growled.

"Speak for yourself" Ino waved her off. "He's almost someone else's property...that means we have to seduce him"

"How do you figure that?" Sakura, dismissively asked.

"You've got to get'em just before they go off the market!" Ino, proudly stated. "That's when their bloods pumping the hardest"

"You don't mean.." Sakura raised an eyebrow.

"No!...unless you want him, first" Ino teased.

"No way! I mean, it's Naruto" she laughed off. "Our idiot Naruto, remember"

"Maybe so, but remember what Tsunade-sama said" Ino wagged a finger.

"She said he ran straight to Kumo after seeing that women's Photo in that Magazine!" She place her arm around Sakura's shoulder.

"He's probably getting all sorts of experience in Kumo" Sakura blushed at Ino's words.

"They have a lot of hot springs for him and his new wife to...get to know each other" She tickled Sakura again.

"I-I-Ino!" Sakura whined, trying to hold in her giggles.

"Imagine your first time; stealing a man just before he's about to be married! From a swimsuit model! That's an accomplishment!" Ino beamed.

"I'd be just like in all those romance movies" Ino turned to Sakura.

"Aren't those women...the villains of the movie" Sakura muttered.

"No way! It's those women that convince the hot guy he's making a mistake!" Ino defended.

"So we're going to convince him not to marry her?" She asked, stupefied by her friend.

"Of course not!...we're just going to see how far we can go, is all" Ino crossed her arms, and nodded to herself.

so we are the villains... Sakura thought to herself.

Ino was suggesting they...she was being as scandalous as always! She just wanted to say she had him before someone else did. And yet...Sakura grabbed the red minidress...just to see how she looked in it.

She did wonder how Naruto would react if he saw her in it. He said she looked the same as always when they reunited after two years...maybe she would show him what he was missing...just for fun.

"So your planning on messing with Naruto, and then finding a hunk" Sakura questioned.

"It's called multitasking" She said matter-of-factly. "I can have a quickie with Naruto in the closet, then be ready to hook up with another hunk, in thirty minutes"

"I thought you only were going to see how far you can go" Sakura gasped.

"And if I get that far...relax" Ino smirked. "I'll probably just make out with him, that's not too bad!"

"Ino...you're exasperating" Sakura sighed.

"Yeah, yeah...now we need to get some makeup" Ino pushed Sakura around.

"Something to draw attention away from that massive billboard brow of yours" She laughed.

"INO-PIG! GRR!"

Sakura growled, as Ino dragged her away from the shop. But her anger subsided quickly, as her thoughts turned to her blond former teammate. They would never be team seven again. Maybe giving him a kiss goodbye would be a nice gesture.

I wonder what he's doing right now...

Naruto shifted nervously; the Raikage ordered him back to him with an urgent message. But he hadn't said a word, once Naruto got inside. He was just staring the blond down, like a lion at a piece of meat.

He looked to his future wife for some assurance, but she was just smiling quaintly, like nothing was out of the ordinary.

While he probably should have noticed it, three lariats ago. The Raikage was a big, big man...much different than how he imagined a Kage to look. He was rather intimidating, what with the silent stare down he has going on right now.

"Uh..uh" Naruto worriedly mumbled.

"Uzumaki!" A quickly addressed the blond.

"Yes!" Naruto saluted, prepared for...whatever.

"I was looking over your paperwork, when I noticed something...horrible" A let the last word sink in.

"H-H-Horrible!" Naruto panicked.

"Yes, horrible...your diet..." A grimaced. "Is atrocious! So much ramen!"

"It says you once ate nothing, but ramen for an entire week" A slammed the files on his desk.

"Yeah...well...yo-"

"NO EXCUSES!" he BROKE his desk in half.

In a flash, the Raikage crossed the shattered remains of his desk, and was on top of Naruto. Robes stripped off, hat dashed to the ground.

"A Ninja's body is his CHURCH! HIS MUSCLES; IT'S SCRIPTURES! HIS JUTSU; IT'S DOCTRINE! HIS TAIJUTSU; IT'S DISIPLINE!" A shouted.

A flexed his impressive array of muscles at Naruto, as he said so. His biceps bulged, his deltoids throbbed, and his chest muscles popped in ways Naruto didn't know was possible. And he was pretty sure humans didn't have places in the places the Raikage had muscles.

"Uh..h.." Naruto was speechless.

"Look at you! Scrawny! Thin! A...leaf in the wind!" A continued his tirade. "The product of Konoha malnutrition!"

"Here in Kumo, our women pump more iron than Konoha's strongest ninja!"

"You are a Kumo ninja, now!" A pointed to confused Naruto.

"And here we eat meat to grow large! We drink protein shakes to invigorate our bodies! And we hit the weights to gain muscle!" A; actually flexing even harder.

"From today onward! You are longer a stick figure Konoha ninja, but a large, and proud Kumogakure shinobi!" A grabbed Naruto, and picked him up like a child.

"Before the wedding begins, I will make you twice as large as you are now!" He bellowed straight into already close Naruto.

He (carrying Naruto) jumped out the window with a smash. Placing another hole in the not yet fixed window of his office. Mabui simply sighed, Raikage-sama always got worked up when it came to anything below his standard of diet, and exercise.

And while it was a marriage of convenience, everyone was spending more time with her future husband than her. Maybe she would schedule a lunch for them sometime in the future...if Raikage-sama doesn't break him too much.

Watching clouds is an easy hobby. No demand, no stress, no worries...a simple task for a lazy man. Ironic, that going to the village of clouds was going to be, probably, the biggest hassle ever.

Their comrade; Naruto was leaving Konoha to marry some supermodel from Kumo in a big fancy wedding celebration. Everyone was invited to come, and everyone was going to come. That Naruto...always doing things in the most troublesome fashion.

Shikamaru Nara let out a yawn, and shut his eyes. Get measured, buy a suit, travel for five days, go to a loud wedding, for the loudest ninja he's ever met, travel for five days back to Konoha...what a drag!

"SHIKAMARU!" Ino shouted over him.

"Ugh" the lazy ninja rolled over.

What a drag. It was Ino, and Sakura, come to rob him of his peaceful day. Couldn't they see he was enjoying his peace, and quiet.

"SHIKAMARU! GET UP!" She shouted again.

"What...is...it" He drawled, still laying down.

"You're supposed to be getting ready for the wedding!" Ino growled.

"Ma..ha...yeah, I'm gonna skip this on-ugf" Ino gave him a sharp kick in the side.

Ino grabbed the lazy ninja by the collar, and dragged him to his feet. Shikamaru stood on unwilling legs. As troublesome as standing was, getting beat up by Ino was the most trouble of all.

"Choji's already picked his suit, and gotten fitted" Ino started walking, dragging Shikamaru along with her. "I bet you haven't even done that"

"Too much trouble...I'm gonna just stay here with Neji, and Hinata" He complained.

"Neji, and Hinata aren't staying here by choice" Ino growled back. "They're staying because they are forbidden from going"

"Tell him, Sakura" Ino motioned her friend.

"That's right, Shikamaru" Sakura spoke. "I mean, Hinata's so upset, she locked herself in her room"

"She really wanted to go" Sakura, gave a pitying look. "Her father won't let her go to cloud at all"

"That's right!" Ino pulled Shikamaru even harder. "So we have to go, and have fun for the both of them!"

Ino; dragging Shikamaru, and Sakura following after, pulled into the men's tailor shop. Ino forced Shikamaru to pick out a suit under the threat of beatings, and nonstop shouting. The lazy ninja simply picked up the closest thing to him.

"Yuck! That!" Ino grimaced. "Pick something else!"

"Why bother?" Shikamaru sighed. "A suit is a suit"

"That's where you're wrong" Ino countered.

"A suit is for looking your best...it's for showing the ladies your attractive, serious side" She lectured him.

"I'm not trying to look for ladies" Shikamaru mumbled.

"Yes! Yes, you are" Ino pointed at him, placing her finger directly on his nose. "Weddings lead to weddings!"

"Naruto, got a swimsuit model...so you have to one up him!" She squealed, smiling madly.

"Even if that were possible, I'm not looking for a model" Shikamaru, tiredly said. "Or one upping anybody"

"I just want an average girl, that's completely plain" He started. "unremarkable in looks, and personality...that's the girl for me"

"Shika!" The lazy ninja flinched.

He looked to see the (constantly) judgemental visage of his mother. Hands on her hips, a frown on her face, and fire in her eyes. Ino, and Sakura made space as his mom walked over.

"Are you still saying those dreary things" Yoshino asked.

"Mom, I-" Shika tried to say.

"No! No! No!" she interrupted him. "One of your best friends is getting married"

"When are you going to find a beautiful girl, to bring home to me!" She asked.

"Arg" Shika simply groaned, and braced for the usual.

"Weddings lead to weddings" Yoshino stated, confidently. "It's a good time, for you to meet someone"

"Exactly!" Ino chimed in.

"Exactly" Yoshino smiled at Ino.

They high-fived, and beamed at one another. Yoshino always liked Ino-chan, she was pretty, and had a great personality. If only she had a daughter like her to motivate her lazy son. She already had a lazy husband to take care of, and didn't have time to reign them both in.

"Yoshino, cut 'em some slack, already" Said lazy husband, approached the group.

"Hmm?" She sent a glare his way.

"Eh...just...I love you, honey" Shikaku sighed out, and shirked away.

Oh well, he tried. At least now, she'll stop bothering him. Shikaku walked away, with a silent prayer for his son. He went back into the fitting room stall for a quick nap. He needed the energy as all this marriage, and love crap, was making his wife increasingly...judgey.

"Naruto is marrying a swimsuit model!" Ino squeaked out, excitedly.

"Really!" Yoshino asked, eyes wide.

"She's on the cover of Kunoich! Magazine!" Sakura spoke up.

"You know what that means" Ino happily, asked.

"Yep" Yoshino replied. "My Shika here, has to one up him!"

Shikamaru slumped down. Why did his mother, and Ino have to be so alike. Jumping to the same impossible conclusions, and why did she have to mention that troublesome magazine...now his mother was going to..

"Kunoich! Magazine!" Yoshino sparkled.

Here it comes... Shikamaru worriedly thought.

"Why, I remember when I modeled for that very same publisher" Yoshino said.

"Wow! You modeled, Mrs. Nara?" Sakura asked.

"Wo, don't-" Shika tried to stop her.

"Why, yes I did! Sakura-chan!" Yoshino, starting up. "Back before I met Shika's father, I was on my way to starring as the beauty of the month!"

"Why, I remember when I first met Shikaku" She blushed. "I'll never forget the look on his face when told him I was a model"

Yoshino closed her eyes, and smiled fondly. Looking back on old memories of when she, and her husband were young lovers.

"Won't let these housewife clothes fool you!" She put on a pout, and posed. "These swaying hips, once caught the eye of all Konoha men!"

"And I really haven't lost my touch" She brought a hand to her chin. "I've caught Shikaku's friends, eyeing me once or twice"

Tha lazy ninja sighed, his mother did like to go on, about how she was a famous model, and the envy of all the village. Another reason why he wanted a plain girl, if his mother, and Ino were any indication of how attractive women were; he wanted no part of them.

"That's the kind of woman, you need!" She returned her attention to her son.

"Ugh" Shika, facepalmed.

"The envy of other men!" She place her hands on his shoulders. "Just like your father was"

Shikamaru found himself being dragged around again. First Ino, now his mom. At least with Ino, she would get lost in shopping, and forget about him. But dear mother had an iron grip, and a steely eye. This was going to be so much trouble.

A/N: Chapter two is going to be rebooted, without the fourth wall breaking bits. Chapter three will need to change as well. Going back to not trolling readers with unexpected genre shifts(like noir) and writing it from a more serious side. On hiatus until changes made.