Insert helpless sobs here...

Well, if I were dying I probably couldn't even think of even two rhyming words, so once again I stand in awe of Loki.

That…that was just gorgeous. I've never seen Loki written so perfectly. I didn't play the song whilst reading because I knew I would cry. You are an amazing poet. Fav's.

I enjoy poems about death more than the average person, so I had no trouble assuming that Loki was dying or at least thought he was dying in the poem. The opening lines, one from Thor about honor and the other from Loki, responding so tersely, makes for a very clever beginning.
By far, my favorite lines were the guttering like the candles' fate that Mother sealed with a kiss. Was it your intention to compare the single flame in his chest with multiple candles?
It is sad how two brothers can be so close, yet one hate the other so strongly because of a throne for which they must compete.
Cheers.

I want to start off by saying that I love Loki's one liner about irony and god's dying because it shows a lot about his character and the type of person that he is as a whole. I also like the way you describe the fire that killed him because it became so beautifully personified as a whole. I also like how you describe exactly what happened in the movie in a way because it shows the truth of everything in it. I also liked how you showed Loki's sacrifice through the lense of redemption because it comes to show him as a good person.

Late SAtC review.

Hi! Hi!

Loki has always been one of my favorite characters in comic history so it’s nice to see this poem, so full of emotions and development.

First things first, I suggest getting rid of the line break in the dialogue that separates the poem/thoughts from each other. I had the assumption that the dialogue was a separate quote or a part of the author’s note so I barely paid attention until I went back and reread the story.

I like the first line that Loki says in the story: “I didn’t do it for him...” - It’s a potent and honest line that’s a bit surprising for him to say aloud to his brother, but still, it’s such a telling line that I really enjoyed.

The opening part was nice and full of irony. However, I feel that the opening and second stanza could be a bit stronger emotionally; I feel that it’s very flowery but it lacks some pow that it would need to make the emotion in the poise of your poetry stronger.

Another line that I really like: “(The) blasted sun sweeps withered stones, but Thor is warmer over me.” - I imagine that Thor isn’t actually warmer, but it’s his feelings for having his brother with him that makes him warm... the idea that his brother, who he has done so many bad things towards, was with him probably made him feel warmer inside.

“Hi eyes catch me as all light flies, blue as Asgard’s endless height” - I love the flowery language of this entire stanza, quite beautiful.

“We thought that glory’s golden daze would never burn to ashen days.” - I like the feels that I get from this line, the melancholic memories of being a child and growing up with Thor. Very well done.

My favorite line of the story: “He smiles because I prove him right.” - Thor is shown to have never given up on his brother, believing he’d come back and do what’s right so I thought this was an amazing line to end it.

I think you did really well on this poem. The emotions, however, could be worked on just a bit to heighten it. I tend to find that rhyming poems sort of lose a lot power with words... and in this poem, it sort of lost much of the emotions that I’ve seen you have in your other stories.

Good job though,
Until Next Time,
Neo

Nitpicks:

(The) blasted sun sweeps withered stones,

The word “guttering” doesn’t quite fit the usage for the stanza that it’s used. I am a lover for unusual words to describe how things work however the word, while wonderfully a bigger vocabulary, the word does nothing for the imagery or for the tone of the second stanza.

First of all, only know the Thor universe from the movies.
For the most part, the verses had some sort of rhyming aspect to them. The imagery that you used here was outstanding, made it feel as if I was the experiencing my own dying moment.
Not sure if this was a typo- "wis voice alone" I could be wrong, I usually am with these things.
The flow of the poem was beautiful and easy.
The premise of the poem was incredible. The bond of brotherhood is not always easy, especially between Thor and Loki. In this piece I felt Loki's understanding that their bad blood was usually his fault, or at least most of it. Loki came to realize in what he thought were his last moments, that Thor was always there for him, his unyielding love always apparent.
Very, very, good piece, extremely well written. Very well deserved pick for the SatC.

-Meagan

This is a well done piece. Thank you for adding to the canon. I enjoyed you use of appropriate symbols of Norse mythology (World Tree) because so many fabric authors seem to fixate only on their time on earth instead of where they spend most of their time.
The phrase "guttering like the candles' fate" particularly spoke to me in this moment of my life. We all struggle against large forces that could snuff us out without a thought, but we continue to struggle against it. Bravo! The phrase 'ashes in the wind' reminded me pleasantly of the Kansas song "Dust in the Wind." But, my favorite part of this piece is "I wish that he had caught me, now." The evident regret at the end of a bad decision, perfect in hindsight is summed up in that single line.

This was so moving and beautifully written. Loki is already a much beloved Marvel character but I think you just made me love him more. You have Loki a much deeper subconscious than the power-hungry side everyone else sees.

He truly is a thinker, more so than his impulsive older brother... Despite he used his intelligence for the wrong reasons. And now here does he think through how he led himself to this fate. Beautiful. *tear*

-SoulsSwords

Hello! :)

Oh...my! This is wonderful! I am a pretty big Loki fan. And this just hit me straight in the heart. I am so putting this on my favorites.

My favorite line:
I threw my life away for this?

That just sounded so much like Loki there. This is definitely deserving to be story of the week. I also love the last verse. I love this piece. :) You did misspell one word I think. Ninth verse, second sentence. You spelled "his" as "wis*
Congrats on being picked!
Kat :)

An absolutely beautifully written poem! It flows wonderfully and is written so... well... poetically! The description is just beautiful and flawless! I honestly can't pick my favourite line from this piece of writing. The emotional tone of sadness in the poem was very touching. It is obvious that a lot of hard work and great writing ability has gone into this piece.

SAtC... I think I may have just found it.

Well done! Keep up the wonderful writing! :)

Jaz

Wow, I'm actually logged in. This is brilliant.
Sorry, just head-scattered. Now, for the review.

This was a wonderful poem. I actually liked the changes in the rhyme-scheme, it helped to allow a sense of disjointedness that made sense with Loki thinking that he's dying.

The imagery of Thor and Loki running and chasing through the wood was lovely when you think of their further story (not that I've actually seen the movie *cries* but I still know quite a bit about the story.) "I wish that he had caught me now." That line has so many meanings.

I also love the beginning stanza. "We are not gods" and laughter and the irony note in parenthesis.

"A blasted sun sweeps withered stone" Got to love the amount of alliteration hidden in those words!

Anyway, lovely poem as always!

So sad... this part was so touching in the movie and I think you characterized it well. A beautiful poem to go with a beautiful song!

Oh, my goodness. Wow. Celt, Mihi, this is absolutely breathtaking. The language, the imagery, the emotion, that beautiful "inconsistent rhyme-scheme and meter"... Amazing work. I just keep reading it over and over.

You had me from the first read of the first stanza: "...I laughed inside/ and vowed that I would never die/" - and I'm still mesmerized. I love the imagery of light and gold throughout ("pulsing flame," "blasted sun," "glory's golden daze," and so many more), in contrast to "ashes in the wind" and the "twilight wood." Your word choices are completely flawless, as well, and the effect is powerful beyond description.

This is an intensely moving piece; you are both so gifted. I'm honored that you would write this beautiful thing for me. :D A hundred-thousand thank-yous!

*hugs*
-Crackers :)
(who hopes she hasn't been too incoherent ;)