SUPER RARE AWESOME CHOCOLATY-FUDGE-COATED MEGA SUPER PROFILE. Trademark.

I live, everyone :DDDDD

AND NOW ANOTHER ANNOUNCEMENT NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR BECAUSE IT'S SAD: Umm... yeah. Due to the fact that I've moved on to bigger and better things, I'm discontinuing JLH. I just get so many different ideas in my head for so many different things... and the Naruto series is really starting to piss me off. So anyway! Sorry, everybody! I'll keep it on the site so you can still read it if you want, but I'm not updating anymore.

Thank you, quite randomly, to the following people/things/british people/muses (or aliens. Neither you nor I will ever know...): Danielle Anderson for not eating me via the internet because I'm such a horrible person, LittleKuriboh for re-igniting my affair with Limeys and Yami's hair, Emma for giving me more ideas than I can POSSIBLY write down, Wolf's Rain for being so depressingly depressing, feral children for actually existing despite various attempts to debunk you, Shonen Jump for your comics which I think are going to be horrible and they aren't, Bleach for being one of these comics, Furbys (what more can I say?), and Furrys for being so deliciously fun to lampoon.

Here is your inspirational poem:

Oh my dog

Oh Long John

Oh Long Johnson

Oh Don piano

Why I eyes ya'

All the live long day

-the Talking Cat

And now...

You are currently stuck in the gooey, cold molasses that is the profile of Sugar the Profile-Ninja. You may not have known it, but my ninja skills have kept your eyes glued to the screen this entire time!

There you go, clicking on author links again. What a sorry plight you’re in, ne? Whatever you do, DO NOT read on if you value your life!

Ha!

You’ve been fooled by reverse psychology!

You really should stop falling for my traps.

Well… I suppose I could tell you a little about myself. It’s funny how I’m monologueing when I’m just going to spill my guts all over you anyway.

My first name is Sydney. I figure you’re not a stalker, being on a well-reputed, literary site such as this, but that won’t stop me from concealing my last name. There are only about ten or twenty people in the U.S. of A. with a last name like mine.

And I’m a ninja. Don’t forget that.

I was born on two days at the same time. Strange story, ne? I was half out before midnight on September fifth, and all the way out on September sixth. Since I was technically finished playing tug-of-war with my mom’s umbilical cord on the sixth, my birthday was recorded as September 6, 1991.

I live in Billings, Montana. I would tell you that we still ride horses to work, have no plumbing, and think that Great Iron Birds are signs of the Devil, but I’d be lying. As a matter of fact, we have an airport in my city. It may not be gigantic, but it’s not small either. We show up on the Weather Channel’s radar sometimes too!

I have many hobbies. First off, I’m an art freak. I enjoy using traditional and digital media (though I’m still new to the latter) and have no particular art style. You give me an art style, I can guarantee I can duplicate it as long as it’s two-dimensional. I’m currently working on developing my own style, but it tends to shift depending on my mood. If you ever want me to draw something for you, let me know. Trust me, I’m DYING to draw.

Second off, I love to write. My laptop has become my best friend (sadly) and my reviewers even more so. My goal is to accumulate one thousand reviews in at least one of my fanfics. I absolutely adore reviewers! You guys make my day. Whether it’s encouraging me to update or giving me smashing new ideas, everything you guys do makes me want to hug the crap out of you. Be loved! Review!

Third off, I love kickboxing. Sometimes I’m having a bad day or I just want to punch something for sh-ts and giggles. Punching bags do the trick. I get rid of stress, tire myself out, and stay fit! It’s, like, ehmygawd awesome.

Fourth off (long list, ne?) I love watching anime. I’m an Otaku. A Japanophile. Call me what you wish. However, I will only watch or read an anime or manga that has sharp, expressive, proportional art and a dynamic plot to match. One of my biggest anime turn-offs is neon hair. But more about that later…

Fifth off, I love washing my car. Well, technically, it isn’t my car, but I’ve begged, pleaded, and doe-eyed my dad into (maybe) fixing it up for me. If you know anything about restoring a Chevrolet Vega (car enthusiasts: insert guffaw here), please inform me. It used to be my dad’s drag-racer, so it isn’t street legal (torn interior, engine in the passenger seat, fiberglass front end) but I love it to death.

And now, to the lists…

What I'm for:

Playas, bootleggers, lolz, leveling up, emo-glasses, FMA, cat ears, Asiaphiles, apple juice, beer runs, staying in one spot and doing nothing, trendsbians, homoerotic subtext, Bwastonians, illegal immigrants, Jesus, best friends, worst enemies, balancing vases, gardening, cheerleaders, pep rallies, ferrets, hard water, swimming upriver, hugging ex’s, sleeping it off, ego searching, google, 1337, old cars, kids, history, pencils, garage-sales, monkey-toes, Dane Cook, the Akatsuki, Russians, fanboys, hobos, fixing problems, ghetto-blasters, turtle wax, street vendors, tire-shine, virga, good grades, perfume, rain, geography, racing, my Vega, Bushisms, killing clouds, Kodak moments, the internet, boating, fishing alone on Sunday, car alarms, yelling, Deutsch, bad translations, kleptomania, Gundams, headphones, plastic jewelry, being physical, walking, sneezing on the airplane, David Guetta, wikipedia, loving, hating, Hella sh-t, making mud castles, Death Note, yaoi, hiding things under the bed.

What I'm not for:

Badd spellurz, being emo, posers, preps, cologne, bright-Rainbow-Sally colors, bad humor, slapstick, not-friends, football, dogs, greasy food, mary sues, politics, romance novels, demanding friends not to be friends with other friends, politicians, republicans, God-modders, wangsters, extremists, being second, humiliation, racism, fake laughter, the Disney Channel, the president, stereotyping, the vice president, loud noises, subwoofers, street-racers, dating, blue skies, chocolate and peanuts, eating after three in the morning, vegitarians, tracking dirt, alcoholism, sleeping before three in the morning, the Encyclopedia Dramatica.

My Favorite Books:

The Bible, The Kite Runner, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, The Qur’an, The Bhagavad-Gita, Something Wicked This Way Comes, To Kill a Mockingbird, Pride and Prejudice, all Pern books, Life of Pi, Battle Royale.

My Favorite Movies:

The Magnificent Seven, Kung-fu Hustle, Harold and Kumar go to Whitecastle, Twister, Star Wars, Final Fantasy: Advent Children, Transformers, Pride and Prejudice, Brokeback Mountain, Cars, Ratatouille, all MST3Ks.

My Favorite Anime/Manga:

!!GURREN LAGANN (mancorsets FTW)!! Fullmetal Alchemist, Innocent Venus, Samurai Seven, Full Metal Panic(all seasons X3), Death Note, Gundam Wing, Gundam Seed, Samurai Champloo, Elfen Lied, Monster, Gravitation, Loveless, Beck.

My Nine Greatest Anime Turn-offs:

-Oddly-colored hair (Except Kamina's. His is far too manly to be annoying).

-Out-of-proportion heads (Large, glittering eyes, small mouths, long faces)

-Crappy background art.

-Rough animation.

-Horrible outfits.

-Lack of color-agreement (teal and neon purple, etc).

-Lack of plot continuity.

-White mouths.

-Choppy soundtrack.

-Nonsensical introduction/ending theme song.

My OC ‘Oh God, please don’t’s:

-Oh God, please don’t make any character unrealistically beautiful. No giant boobs, no sinful curves, no abnormal eyes, no strange hair, no tails.

-Oh God, please don’t give any character super-special abilities. Let’s face it. Who among us can pilot a giant, unbeatable mega-mecha? Who can shoot fireballs out of their eyes, turn into a wolf, levitate, speak to animals, eat a pineapple in ten seconds or summon dragons? If you can, drive down to your town’s southernmost main road, take a left, and head into the first Texaco station you see. Drive into the door (don’t walk in), get out of the car, turn three full revolutions to the right, throw your fists in the air, yell ‘Haaaluubalooo!’ and tell the clerk that The Cat sent you. He’ll know what the f-ck’s up.

-Oh God, please don’t give your character a tragic past. Nothing is more cliché than a vengeful character with a dead family, history of abuse, or no family at all.

-Oh God, please don’t give your character a stereotypical personality. Do not make him/her brooding and silent (consult statement three for more information). Do not make him/her impulsive and brainless. Try something original. Make your character funny, shy, snobbish, poised, enthusiastic, boring, perverted, clueless, optimistic, mischievous, etc.

-Oh God, please don’t make your character invincible. S/he must have a weakness. That’s the way things are.

-Oh God, please don’t make your OC irresistible to men/women (consult statements one and four for more information).

-Oh God, please don’t make every character have an English name. A Japanese schoolgirl living in Osaka would not have the name ‘Raven.’ An Uzbekistani businessman would not answer to the name ‘Alex.’ And, most importantly, no character, regardless of ethnicity, would answer to the name ‘Justice Forthright.’ (If your name is Justice Forthright, e-mail me. We have so much to talk about.)

Crazy Fanfic Ideas:

The Axehandle Hound

(Wolf's Rain) After a night of intoxicated moon-howling, Tsume wakes up to find something sleeping in the doghouse outside his home...

Fahrenheit

(Gundam Wing) He's been to hell and back. What else could possibly happen to Duo Maxwell? What else than to be trapped in a city full of zombies, of course.

My Current Projects:

Death and His Shadow.

My absolutely SUPER SPECIAL AWESOME video game. Friendly programmers and musicians, anyone? Please? I love you?

An ORIGINAL manga (go, me!)

Possible ‘Thank You’ pictures for both JLH and DS.

School D: