Hey-yo, it's been 3 years since the last profile page update, but I'm still alive! As of 13 July 2017, that is.

Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, depending on your opinion of my work, I'm not writing anymore.

Back at the end of 2013 or so, I got frustrated with a piece of original fiction I wrote, stuck on how to resolve a plot hole that I should have foreseen long beforehand. I took a break for a couple weeks, then I changed jobs and moved across the country for it, then we had another baby... I tried picking it up again here and there, but the prospect of banging out a thousand words in one sitting (let alone a couple thousand, like I was hitting during ACoT) feels well beyond my ability now.

I'd like to sincerely thank everybody that has written reviews and PMs asking after not just my stories, but me personally. I have read every single message, and I will continue to do so in the future, should you take the time to write me. You are much appreciated, and I'm glad I was able to entertain you for a time.

Usage of elements of my stories:

If I could place a license on my stories, it would be CC-BY-NC-SA 3.0, but that implies some level of ownership. I call them my stories, but I do not own most of the characters or ideas here's the long version: you can do whatever you want with them: use the characters, ideas, and settings in your own story, quote large chunks of it for ridicule, finish one of my WIP stories on your own profile*...anything you want. You don't even have to ask. The only thing I ask (and that is a soft ask, it's not required) is that you send me a PM with a link to your story so I can read it. If you want to be extra awesome, mention me or my story here on . If you see a story that has used something from one of mine without attribution, don't report it, just let me know about it so I can read

It's a little different with the stories as a whole, though. If you find that somebody has posted one of my stories verbatim, well, you should probably report them to whatever site they've posted it on, if possible. Not that the above terms restrict that, but plagiarism is icky. You don't have to tell me, I won't be offended enough to do anything anyway. The only exception to this is translation, which I definitely want to know about because that's awesome and I'll want to brag about it, and maybe even link it from here in my profile.

if you want to finish one of my stories, or write a different ending, or write a different beginning, don't copy my parts, just leave an A/N describing how to reach my part of the story. Save a backup of my part, though. If my part of the story disappears from here and my website, you have permission to post it wherever you like.

tl;dr version:Do what you want, with the obvious exceptions of claiming them as your own or selling them.

Projects on indefinite hiatus:

Harry Silvertongue - My first 'real' novel-length fanfiction. AU, Slytherin!Harry. Starts before Harry receives his letter and follows him through his Hogwarts years.

Harry Potter and the Story Breakers - Just a ridiculous parody to blow off steam from writing more serious stuff. I have the ending planned out, I just haven't written it.

A Curse of Prophecy - yes, still 25% done or so. Posting serially wasn't really working for me, so I was planning on waiting until it was nearly finished to start posting. Now, I may just start posting it in hopes that you can inspire me to keep writing it.

One Universe to the Left - I've had this title in my head for a long time for a series of humorous HP dimension travel oneshots, but I haven't actually written any of those. Instead, this is a more serious, quick-paced dimension travel short story/novella with short chapters to make the commitment of effort seem lesser.

Completed Stories:

Betrayal - a short story that explores how damaging it could have been if Hermione accidentally abandoned Harry along with Ron during the Horcrux hunt, and got caught. Much darker than my other stuff. Written for the DLP February 2013 Apocalyptic/Dystopian fiction contest, and it won!

Note that the title was supposed to be a working title (it fits the first couple chapters), but I never got around to coming up with a better one. Sorry about that.

A Curse of Truth - novel-length self-insert. First-person, present tense story where the PoV character is the insert. I hope you give it a chance, I think it gets better as the story goes on since it's my first published novel-length fic. I think it's quite funny -- yes, I'm lame enough to laugh at my own stuff -- and I hope you do too. The reviews for this story are extremely positive, so don't be afraid of the self-insert-ness! This has been translated into Russian (!) by Vladimir S. Honestly, based on the questions he asked, his translation is probably better and more polished than mine.

A few select story quotes:

"I wish there were more stories about me in your head like that, though surely you realize as an enchanted article of clothing I am neither male nor female?" — Sorting Hat, A Curse of Truth, Ch. 1

"It seems odd to worry about the sanity of an ancient, semi-sentient Hat, Mr. Lerner, yet I must confess I was quite concerned there for a few minutes." — Professor Dumbledore, A Curse of Truth, Ch. 2

"I agree, it's completely snogging ridiculous if you ask me." — William, A Curse of Truth, Ch. 3

"You have to hand it to (Hagrid), he knows how to lay on the guilt trip. He also knows how to accidentally attempt to drive people into the floor like a railroad spike. I hope my shoulder is okay." — William, A Curse of Truth, Ch. 7

"I've learned that the tilt of [Luna's] head is a more accurate indicator of her tone than her actual voice, and so far this particular angle has consistently corresponded to mild curiosity and surprise. Well, either that or wanton lust, but I may have misunderstood that particular comment." — William, A Curse of Truth, Ch. 14

"Judging by the number of times that you've tried to kill me with your eyes, I think I'm a lot funnier than you think I am." — William, A Curse of Truth, Ch. 16

Completed Oneshots:

A Kiss of Clichéd Proportions - oneshot parody of harem fics. A lot more sarcastic than the humor in A Curse of Truth.

Through Butterbeer-Colored Glasses - oneshot response to a challenge. It's only 1600 words or so, so read it! In fact I think it works best if you don't know much about it before you read (and if you ignore the gaping plothole)