Hello, and welcome to the profile of the one and only Geekachu! If you've read my stories, you may know that I cannot stand Mary Sues/Gary Stus, enjoy sarcasm, and have an unfortunate tendency to be somewhat random. If you didn't know that, well, you could always check out my stories to see for yourself. :D

Things I've written for: See top of profile.

Things I want to write for: Too many.

Things about me (read if you care):

Country of origin: Hoenn.

Current residence: Under your bed.

Religion: It starts with C and rhymes with . . . zatholic. If you're super smart, you might be able to figure it out.

Age: Younger than my parents.

Gender: Attack helicopter.

Height: Taller than your average hobbit and shorter than your average Hagrid.

Favorite food: Either chocolate cake or human flesh. It's hard to decide.

Favorite color: The best one.

Least favorite color: Ultra-violet. It clashes horribly with my hair.

Talent level: 3/10

People I get along with: Pretty much anyone. Including you. :D

People I annoy: See above.

Random stuff (DON'T READ!):

If everything seems to be going well, you've obviously overlooked something.

I'm not random; you just can't think as fast as me.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

Don't steal. The government hates the competition.

Tell the truth and run.

I wish life was like a musical, where in the middle of math, I could just jump out of my seat, throw up my papers and start singing. And then the whole math class would pull this dance routine out of nowhere, and we would all know the song we were spontaneously making up . . . then sit down like nothing happened.

I regret to inform you that you now have the Amish computer virus. Since the Amish do not have computers, this is based on the honesty policy. Please delete all the files on your computer.

If you have NEVER copied and pasted anything on your profile and NEVER will . . . copy and paste this on your profile.

Gary was here!
Ash is a loser!

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense fell into a deep depression as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home because the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his three stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral, because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on.

A moment of silence.

While I'll be the first to admit I'm not the best writer in the world, I've read enough fanfiction to observe some pretty consistent problem with many people's writing on this sight, as well as some problems with reviewing. So, without further ado, here are the thoroughly unqualified Geekachu's writing tips!

1. CHECK YOUR GRAMMAR! I cannot stress this enough! everywhere I go, I see oodles of misspellings, missing commas, commas put in wrong places, and sentences that are borderline incomprehensible. I get it, grammar can be hard. But if you have difficulty with it, get a beta reader. They're everywhere! Also, please know the difference between "there" and "their" and "they're," "your" and "you're," and "its" and "it's."

2. Watch out for dem Mary Sues and Gary Stus. They're boring, they're annoying, and people are tired of seeing them. If a reviewer says that your character is overly perfect, you might want to take their words into consideration.

3. When you're describing a character, don't describe their clothing in ridiculous detail! No one needs to know if Sally the Side Character is wearing a sunhat with a brim of nine inches or ten, or if if Paul the Protagonist has pants with brown stitching or gray. Sure feel free to say that Sally is wearing a big white sunhat or Paul has tattered and faded jeans, but describing every little detail of their clothing isn't necessary.

4. Please, please don't neglect the words "said" and "asked." All too often, I see people replacing them with words like "stated," "inquired," etc. Now, there isn't anything inherently wrong with using words like those, but do it in moderation. I get it, you're trying to add some variety, which is understandable. But do it too much and it just looks silly.

5. Writers seem to like having their characters sigh every other paragraph. Please don't do that.

6. There's nothing wrong with having a pretty character in your story, main character or not. But don't have other characters react in dumb ways to said character's beauty. How often does someone actually stop in their tracks and stare open-mouthed and someone just because they look nice? Not often! Also, don't have a character instantly hate someone for their appearance, either. And please, don't have your protagonist go around wishing they weren't so pretty, like it's some kind of curse!

7. Let's say that you're writing a Pokémon fanfiction for a moment. Don't have the resident professor give them a rare, shiny, or otherwise "special" pokémon as their starter, unless you have a really, really good reason for it. Huh? What's that? The regular starters are already taken? The special starter has taken a strange liking in your character? The professor sees great potential in your character, or in some way thinks they have "what it takes"? THESE ARE ALL BAD REASONS.

8. Actually try to write a good summary. Whatever you do, don't write "my first story," "bad summary, story is better," "please read," or anything similar. Those have nothing to do with the story itself. And as always, pay attention to your grammar.

9. Don't beg for reviews. It's fine to say "Please review if you have the time," "Reviews are much appreciated," but don't threaten to withhold updates until you get a certain amount of reviews, or try to guilt-trip your readers. No one owes you reviews.

10. If/when you do get reviews, don't complain about them being mean. Appreciated constructive criticism. Pointing out problems in your story is not being rude. When I give criticism, I'm trying to be helpful. It doesn't mean I don't like you or think your story sucks. Personally, I try to be a tactful as possible when reviewing, but not everyone does that, nor are they obligated to. Even if they are trying to be nasty, why let that bother you? Sticks and stones, my friend.

11. See all those tips above. Please take them with a grain of salt. Or maybe a truckload. Just don't take my word as law.

12. Have fun!

Today, writers are scorned because of those too unversed to know.

Disdained, because of the those too ignorant to believe.

Despised, because of the realists who are too afraid to dream.

Misunderstood, because others are too unsure to try.

But we, as writers, know them to be wrong.

A writer is a person who dreams.

A writer is a person who wishes.

A writer is a person who escapes.

A writer is a person who lives.

A writer is a person who is not afraid.

A writer is a person who strives.

A person who expresses.

A person who believes.

A person who understands.

A person who knows.

I am a writer.

I dream of a world where anything is possible.

I wish for a world where war is just a myth.

I escape into a world where I can predict the future.

I live in a world of joy and mystery.

I am not afraid of the world I create.

I strive in the world where others give up.

I express myself in ways others dare not try.

I believe in things others are too afraid to trust.

I understand things others cannot, in a way that others cannot.

I know, in ways that others deny.

Signed,

Azariosiza

Leixym

PKAquaFlame

japaneserockergirl

Geekachu

If you are a writer, and believe in these, copy and paste this onto your profile and add your pen name.