NAMASTE! You are now the proud owner of a CHARLIE unit! In order to achieve full use of your unit the reading of this manual is essential. You don't want to find a Virgin Mary statue full of illegal drugs in your room, do you? Maybe?

NAMASTE! You are now the proud owner of a RICHARD unit! In order to achieve full use of your unit the reading of this manual is essential. You don't want to end up unwittingly aiding the Man in Black!

NAMASTE! You are now the proud owner of a DESMOND unit! In order to achieve full use of your unit the reading of this manual is essential. You don't want to accidentally forget to push the button, brotha!

GREETINGS! You are now the proud owner of a STEFAN SALVATORE unit! In order to achieve full use of your unit the reading of this manual is essential. You don't want him to drink human blood and eat you, do you? Do you? Bueller? Bueller…?

GREETINGS! You are now the proud owner of a DAMON SALVATORE unit! In order to achieve full use of your unit the reading of this manual is essential. You don't want to end up as his main course, do you? Kidding! Of course, you do.

CONGRATULATIONS! You are now the proud owner of a CASTIEL unit. In order to achieve full use of your unit the reading of this manual is essential. You don't want to be responsible for some poor fool being accidentally smited do you?

Kyle and Declan are buried beneath the rubble of Zzyzx where their life and friendship is put into jeopardy. Updated!

NAMASTE! You are now the proud owner of a BEN unit. In order to achieve full use of your unit the reading of this manual is essential. You don’t want to be involved in a second PURGE do you?

NAMASTE! You are now the proud owner of a SAYID unit. In order to achieve full use of your unit the reading of this manual is essential. You don’t want to watch poor Nadia being tortured, do you?

Kyle goes holiday shopping with Lori and Hilary and learns a valuable lesson.

The Company proudly presents the SYLAR unit. Now you can own the popular superpowered killer. On sale for a limited time. Hurry the clock is ticking with murderous intent.

NAMASTE! You are now the proud owner of a SAWYER unit! In order to achieve full use of your unit the reading of this manual is essential. You don’t want to cause a psychic kid to be kidnapped off a raft by HOSTILES do you?

Namaste! You are now the proud owner of a JACK unit! In order to achieve full use of your unit the reading of this manual is essential. You don’t want to create an “incident,” do you?