15/11/17: Oh my, I've gotten all nostalgic reading this bio. It's been years since I've done so much as touch fanfiction! For my pleasure and (perhaps not as much) yours I will leave my previous teenage musings here for everyone to see. I can't quite bring myself to delete them.

Oh. My. God. If you've ever been in year 11 you know how much it sucks. Homework, homework, more homework and nasty exams.

ARGH!!!

Oh, and by the way, I'm not in any way shape or form insane. Seriously. I'll even give you reasonable advice. See below (or not if you dun'wnna):

10 Things to NEVER do. Ever.

1.) Attempt to teach your mum slang (or anyone else who is just incapable).

TEXT MESSAGE:

Me: Got an A in Chem, so happy!

Mum: WTF, well done!

Me: ...do you know what WTF means?

Mum: Well That's Fantastic! :)

2.) Making friends with a psychopath.

3.) Picking a fight with Chuck Norris.

4.) Watching The Ring.

5.) Taking the phrase 'I believe I can fly' seriously.

6.) Criticising Darth Vader within strangling distance.

7.) Touching a leper.

8.) Sending an angry e-mail. (Have the balls to pick up the phone or, better yet, have a téte-à-téte instead.)

9.) Poking a hippo.

10.) Counting how many licks it takes to get to the centre of a jawbreaker.

Some of these (namely 1, 4, 5, 8 and 10) are personal experience. And I'm not kidding when I say don't ever do them).

You Know You're a Book Nerd If:

You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on. (Alla time, guys, alla time.)

You stay up to read a book until 4 A.M., then get back up at 7 to continue reading. (This is the one percent I don't do. Usually. Unless I'm reading something REALLY good.)

Just about everything you do revolves around reading. If you're not reading, you're probably on fanfiction.net, drawing fan art, etc. (My life in a nutshell. Screw schoolwork. I have to READ.)

You try to get all of your friends to read your favorite books. (I tried and failed. Life is so devastating sometimes.)

Everything reminds you of the book. (After I read Twilight suddenly everyone unusually pretty in my school turned into vampires. In my head of course.)

You quote random lines all the time, even if no-one gets it. (Well, at least one of my friends will get it...hello Tinkernat!)

You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can't. (Yeah. I used to stand in front of a full sized mirror and pretend to cast spells and fly on a broomstick.)

You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape said class. (I have tried many a time (unsuccessfully) to freeze everyone in the class like Professor X or infiltrate my teacher's mind like Eragon.)

You have pictures of your favorite characters on your computer. (About twenty thousand. They took up so much of my memory (not THAT much but hey) that I had to move them to my memory stick called 'Ur Face'. This wasn't meant to be insulting by the way, my pendrive is actually called that.)

You've got a book memorized. (Yeah, more like a gazillion books.)

You've read a specific book more than five times. (Harry Potter. All the books at least three times in English and three in Polish. Because I have nothing better to do with my life.)

You've read a book with 400 pages in less than two days. (Twilight; Breaking Dawn. Might've been the biggest mistake of my life but I still did it.)

You've planned and prepared a siege on a writer's house because he/she had a sucky ending. (Well, hello Christopher Paolini! You shall die for the sucky ending of Inheritance! Your bat-shit crazy fans (like me) will kill you!)

You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional. (Obviously. I mean, come on, Harry Potter is real. He lives out there somewhere and met J.K Rowling who thought he was so awesome she wrote seven books about him. The wizarding world didn't care cuz now they're popular.)

IF YOU ARE A BOOK NERD AND PROUD OF IT, COPY AND PASTE ONTO YOUR PROFILE!

I found this on GeekyGothGal's profile and felt awfully awkward when it turned out I do 99% of these things. Book Nerd and proud, huh?

My Favourite Quotes

"If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?"

"You say that I'm not cool. Cool is just another word for cold. If I'm not cold, then I'm hot. I know I'm hot! Thank you for embracing it!"

"A good friend lets me make an idiot of myself in public. A best friend is up there with me :)"

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."

"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... then try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."

"Housework can't kill you, but why take the chance?"

"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."

My work might sometimes be grammatically incorrect (blame that on my Polish descent) or Mary-Sueish (blame that on me reading badfics to boost my ego). Point it out whenever you can and I will, to the best of my ability, correct it; so constructive criticism is always welcome. Any other type of criticism, please go die in a hole somewhere and leave me alone - *!! FLAMERS ESPECIALLY !!*

There are three types of flamers, I find. The anonymous flamers, the non-anonymous flamers and the people who call themselves Critics United. In my humble opinion, they are the worst type of flamers as they point out all the flaws and nothing good at all, ever. They will attempt to kick your story in the nuts and decapitate it, completely obliterating your self confidence in the process.

We cannot, of course, generalise or stereotype here, as I'm sure there are some Critics United fellas out there genuinely trying to help...

Oh, who am I kidding, I just hate them all.

They will be ignored (should I ever come across one) and their comments deleted (whenever possible).

Review my stories if you're against Critics United!!! :P

I AM NOW ACCEPTING BETA REQUESTS ; ) SO SEND ME ALL YOUR WORK, OH AUTHORS, AND I SHALL READ AND CORRECT.

AND I HAVE A WATTPAD ACCOUNT, FOLLOW ME: Xandra_Lee