I saw it. I know I did. I swear I saw it. I'm not lying. Why would I lie? I'm not crazy. I just want to go home, home to my world.' House sees something he shouldn't have.

The German version of The Contract translated by the lovely Chaoskir. If you don't know German, don't bother.

These are little vignettes inspired by spoilers about up coming episodes that are abounding on the Interweb – cos even if they aren't true, it is just fun to imagine the dialogue.

We have had neices, Mary Sues from Hell and long lost twin daughters... so let's go for a granny.

Cameron looks back on her life.

Another six months in the pound.

House is never the same.

He laughed silently and hysterically: He was a human piano of pain. House the human piano of pain. It had a nice ring to it. Very dark: Strong HouseWilson friendship. Cuddy and Steve McQueen. Complete with DVD extras and missing scenes.

House celebrates life by torturing his best and only friend. They get rotated likes socks in a washing machine and discuss life, the universe and giant tea cups.

Based on Priority's creey pencil idea and the Contractverse.

There are things out there and they want you. Weird creepy rehab story set in the Tritter arc that expands on the story Weird Creepy Story. House and Wilson strong friendship with surprises. Hurt/comfort. Cuddy, Steve and the kids say hi. But be warned. It's a horror story. Still confused? Head to my diysheep LJ for other spine chilling stories based on Weird Creepy Story.

House of the Dead: Now with updates from Greg House's new book: Your Zombie and You.

Houseland, a place where law and medicine make no sense and anything can happen. Cuddy tries to show some donors around the hospital, but she is thwarted by the inhabitants of Houseland at every turn.

What if House went too far? What if it all went wrong and there was no last minute save? What would House do if he lost everything? Set after the 'tick girl' episode. Strong House and Wilson friendship, plus Cuddy and a rat. Hurt/comfort, serious angst and DVD extras to make you smile afterwards.

House eventually becomes the one thing he always destined to be.

House's dad finds out he is gay. House hides under the house. Wilson has to prize House from under the house by means of a big stick. For the HW fest. As always viewer discretion is advised.

House after weird creepy rehab. Viewer Discretion Advised

Houseland: Where architecture follows no rules or boundaries and everyday can bring a new challenge or a new staircase...

Detective Tritter wins.

Cuddy grabbed the offending miscreant by the ear. He made a noise that could only be described as an 'erp': More drama ensues...

“The man is blind and crippled. How on earth did he manage to escape?” Cuddy threw her hands up in her trademark Houseian exclamation of frustration. “Oh forget I said that. This is House. We will probably find him halfway up Everest.”

Sometimes a friendship can last a long long time.

In the darkest hours Cameron ponders her love for House?

By day House can never be loved, but by night deep down, don't we all want to be. House and Wilson

The story of Jimmy the Wonder Boy Oncologist and his best friend Dr Scruffy McCane as they make the world safe for kittens up trees everywhere. House and Cuddy or House and Wilson. Ambiguity abounds.

Lt Bush is hounded by a vicious Captain out for his blood. A long involved story with loads of gratuitous violence and some sappy stuff too.

A little vingette exploring the relationship between the Doctor and Ace.

The journal of an old Time Lord regarding a boy he used to know: Features the First Doctor and the Eighth Doctor. Quite sappy.

Will Richard E stop the new series? Will Nyssa ever get her brain back? Will the Eighth Doctor recover from being repeated hit with a frying pan? Yes boys and girls - fanwank city

Gallifrey is safe, but someone had to pay the price. Lots of nasty Timelords, random brutality, confused Doctors and a know it all TARDIS. Quite sappy...

What happens when you destroy a civilisation? What happens when you get a bit too dark and manipulative. Doc Eight and Seven struggle with the reality of being Time's Champion. Not very pleasant.

We have had the Three Doctors and the Five Doctors: Now comes the Nine Doctors. More Doctors, more sceaming assistants, more fan wank than ever before. Unfortunately this is not it.

How many Doctors can you fit into a eight hundred word story? I manage eight and one bewildered actor.

The lost scene from Zagreus - Eighth Doctor silliness, the third Doctor sings and everyone indulges in a bit of Doctor Who fanwallying.

Crank up the cattle prods and bring on the angst: Docter Eight

Will Mary Sue and the Doctor finally....

More tacky cliches, quivering love mounds and just a little bit of heart ache

The Doctor realises his true love. A Doctor Who Equivalent of 'a dark and stormy night' opening. Trully awful prose. Involves campy adult type inferences. Involves references to both leafy and underground vegetables. Includes references to mother in law e

The Doc gets sloshed and thinks about life, the universe and sex. A bit of wishfull thinking, but nothing too nasty and some humour.

Now remember boys and girls, mass murder is not a groovy or cool thing, so don't try this at home.