"I meant it when I said there's no one else I would want to face the return of eternal darkness with." - How Cursed Child could have ended with Albus and Scorpius. A rewrite of the penultimate scene, in screenplay format.

Extra! Extra! Clemence Fitzgerald here, reporting for Witchy Business. You're in for a treat, dear reader: Hogwarts bachelor ALBUS POTTER has acquired a girlfriend—identity unknown. Let the witch hunt begin. (an Albus/OC romance-satire set in a Hogwarts beleaguered by celebrity worship, shipping wars, and too many teen queens; Dobby Winner: Best OC, Dialogue, Description)

"The power of friendship isn't an actual form of energy, Al." Armed with spunk, sugar and a blatant disregard for the laws of physics (or laws in general), inventor Bea Chang is determined to finish her electricity-to-magic device, even if she has to drag in half of Fred's extended family for her ragtag heists. That smarmy entrepreneurial Malfoy, on the other hand, can shove off.

When he is lucky, he wakes up before he dies. —Draco/Astoria—

Cho Chang feared dragons and drowning. —Post-GoF—

James is writing the book on love. Naturally, it's the peak time for irony. —A Yule Ball Un-Fairytale, James II/OC—

Sometimes, your tinny mantras even saved you, like the day you cut your gleaming gold hair and spun it into straw. Or the two years until the new millennium struck, when you were still amazed at how scars could paint a person. —a post-Hogwarts Lavender—

Two sisters, dark and light, red and white. A shadowed speck, consumingly sweet. —Dominique/Teddy/Victoire, based on Little Red Riding Hood—

Being the Ravenclaw Quidditch strategist comes with a few occupational hazards, namely an intrusive Oliver Wood snooping for secrets. Rona Switt is in for quite the season. —Oliver Wood/OC—

As soon as she saw the glint of baby blue metal, her heart began its sickening throb. He was not supposed to be here. —Teddy/Victoire/Scorpius—

Scorpius, the Hogwarts cynic. Rose, the girl who pretends to understand. A tale of dangerous precociousness and growing up. —Rose/Scorpius—

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single girl in her seventh year, must be in want of a bloke. —a parody—

It was obvious to Junebug Janes that Sirius and Remus were meant to be together. She just needed to prove it to the rest of Hogwarts... and them. —a not-quite-slash—