Hey, TheYellowVolvo here!

Ya, I'm not a normal person. I am I spastic person that has the most fun possible and the best friends EVER!

No, I'm really not that interesting but I guess if you have any questions about me you can ask and you will get a reply.

How Much I Thought I Hated You: Complete! This story has been nominated for All Human Twilight Awards. 'Fanfiction you couldn't stop reading' Just like to say a big thanks! Nominations accepted after August 22nd. Voting starts August 27th. Please vote and nominate some of your favorites!

How Love Brought You Back To Me: In progress. First Priority.

When The Day Met The Night: In progress. Second Priority. I will only update this when I am not busy writing chapters for How Love Brought You Back To Me. I really like where this story is going but it will just have to wait. Sorry for any inconveniences.

All Human Twilight Awards: As was mentioned above How Much I Thought I Hated You has been nominated under 'fanfiction you couldn't stop reading'. Voting begins August 27th and nominations for your own favorites is accepted after August 22nd. Check it out!

The Link is: Twilight All Human Awards site

If you have any other questions just send me a P to the M! I will reply!

To add some spice:

DHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!

Boys are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head.

Please don't drop cigarette buds on the floor, the cockroaches are getting cancer.

Whoever said nothing's impossible never tried to slam a revolving door.

Save the Earth, it's the only planet with chocolate.

Don't worry Pluto, I'm not a planet either.

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

A Day Without Sunshine Is Like, You Know, Night

Someday your prince will come. Mine got lost, took a wrong turn, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

You Have The Right To Remain Silent. Anything You Say Will Be Misquoted And Used Against You

You’re Just Jealous Because The Voices Only Speak To Me

Silence is silver...but Duct Tape is Shiny!

Life's Tough, get a helmet!

How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is Lost?

normal people worry me

Live Dangerous. . .Run With Scissors

Pick up lines with witty comebacks:

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing

One of my favorite pickup lines:

Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of concerned. I mean, we could hit it off really well, end up having a few drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number because I'm too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call and we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a lot of time together, then finally have get past this sexual tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible, decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we move in together for a while, then a few months later get married, I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids, but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you, you're stressed and stop taking really good care of yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-confidence I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification. You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids why mommy and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about the children. For God's sake, if you dance with me and we hit it off, let's just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going.

30 things to do in an Elevator

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.
23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell people that you can see their aura.
35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."

Enjoy the stories Everyone!!!