The Magical Taco
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Joined 05-12-08, id: 1575012, Profile Updated: 05-30-09
Author has written 4 stories for Harry Potter, and Naruto.

Yay, i got my account...well I want to thank everyone who reads my stories, hope you like them

My Likes-

Food, games, stories, The Colbert Report, food, and Anime, Harry Potter too...SUPER JAIL!!

My Dislikes-

This list is to long for here

Pairings...

Naruto- I'm pretty open to anything that's not gay

Favorite...Naruto/Tayuya, Temari, TenTen, Anko, Kurinai

Harry Potter-

Harmony- This is, and will always be, the ONLY pairing I accet for eitpher Harry or Hermione. No questions.

Fourty- Nine laws of Anime:

Originally compiled and edited by Darrin Bright and Ryan Shellito

1. Law of Metaphysical Irregularity
The normal laws of physics do not apply.

2. Law of Differentiated Gravitation
Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborn, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.

3. Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics
In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.

4. Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion
In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity.

5. Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion
The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves. Armored Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science.

6. Law of Temporal Variability
Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something 'cool' or 'impressive'. Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.

7. First Law of Temporal Mortality
'Good Guys' and 'Bad Guys' both die in one of two ways. Either so quick they don't even see it coming, OR it's a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down.

8. Second Law of Temporal Mortality
It takes some time for bad guys to die... regardless of physical damage. Even when the 'Bad Guys' are killed so quickly they didn't even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.

9. Law of Dramatic Emphasis
Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with either still-frames or black screens with a slash of bright color (usually red or white).

10, Law of Dramatic Multiplicity
Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a 'Good Guy' kicks the 'Bad Guy' in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3 different angles.

11. Law of Inherent Combustability
Everything explodes. Everything.
First Corollary - Anything that explodes bulges first.
Second Corollary - Large cities are the most explosive substances known to human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities, sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".

12. Law of Phlogistatic Emission
Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.

13. Law of Energetic Emission
There is alway an energy build up (commonly referred to as an energy 'bulge') before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the Law of Inherent Combustability.

14. Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude
The destructive potential of a weapon is inversly proportional to its size.
First Corollary - Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also know as the A-Ko phenomenon.

15. Law of Inexhaustability
No one EVER runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.

16. Law of Inverse Accuracy
The accuracy of a 'Good Guy' when operating any form of fire-arm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the 'Bad Guys' when operating fire-arms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect)
Example: A 'Good Guy' in a drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several battalions of 'Bad Guys' firing on a 'Good Guy' standing alone in the middle of an open field will always miss.
First Corollary - The more 'Bad Guys' there are, the less likely they will hit anyone or do any real damage.
Second Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is faced with insurmountable odds, the 'Bad Guys' line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a single burst of automatic fire and then escape.
Third Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is actually hit by enemy fire, it is in a designated 'Good Guy Area', usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts the 'Good Guy' from doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts maneuvres.

17. Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability
Minmei is a bimbo.

18. Law of Hemoglobin Capacity
The human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more, under high pressure.

19. Law of Demonic Consistency
Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown (but black is not unknown), and can only be hurt by bladed weapons.

20. Law of Militaristic Unreliability
Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war-machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song.

21. Law of Tactical Unreliability
Tactical geniuses aren't...

22. Law of Inconsequential Undetectability
People never notice the little things... Like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.

23. Law of Juvenile Intellectuality
Children are smarter than adults. And almost always twice as annoying.

24. Law of Americanthropomorphism
Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles, either as a really nasty skinny 'Bad Guy' or a big stupid 'Good Guy'.
First Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line Effect.)
Second Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the American translators are the American editors and censors.

25. Law of Mandibular Proportionality
The size of a person's mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.

26. Law of Feline Mutation
Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:
a) be female
b) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation
c)and wear as little clothing as possible, if any.

27. Law of Conservation of Firepower
Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used only as a last resort.

28. Law of Technological User-Benevolence
The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.

29. Law of Melee Luminescence
Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for 'good guys' and red for 'bad guys'. This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.

30. Law of Non-anthropomorphic Antagonism
All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.

31. Law of Follicular Chroma Variability
Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation.

32. Law of Follicular Permanence
Hair in anime is pretty much indestructable, and can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone's hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!

33. Law of Topological Aerodynamics, First Law of Anime Aero-Dynamics
ANY shape, no matter how convoluted or odd-looking, is automatically aerodynamic.

34. Law of Probable Attire
Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines.
--Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off the afore-mentioned female's clothes, then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the Gratuitous Shower Scene).
--Whenever there is a headwind, a Male characters will invariably wear a long cloak which doesn't hamper movement and billows out dramatically behind him.
First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability) - All anime characters are resistant to extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.
Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability) - Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage.

35. Law of Musical Omnipotence
Any character capable of musical talent (singing, playing an instrument, etc.) is automatically capable of doing much more "simple" things like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so on... especially if they have never attempted these things before.

36. Law of Quitupular Aggultination
Also called "The Five-man Rule," when "Good Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic positions, which are:
a) The Hero/Leader
b) His girlfriend
c) His Best Friend/Rival
d) A Hulking Brute
e) A Dwarf/Kid
Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:
--Extreme Coolness
--Amazing intelligence
--Incredible Irritation

37. Law of Extradimensional Capacitance
All anime females have an extradimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment's notice.
First Corollary (The Hammer Rule) - The most common item stored is a heavy mallet, which can be used with unerring accuracy on any male who deserves it. Other common items include costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.

38. Law of Hydrostatic Emission
Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head. When extremely stressed, embarrassed, or worried, this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.

39. Law of Inverse Attraction
Success at finding suitable mates is inversely proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the less you get.
First Corollary Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real world...

40. Law of Nasal Sanguination
When sexually aroused, males in Anime don't get erections, they get nosebleeds. No one's sure why this is, though... the current theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see Law #38 above). Females don't get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.

41. Law of Xylolaceration
Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal swords, if not sharper.

42. Law of Juvenile Omnipotence
Always send a boy to do a man's job. He'll get it done in half the time and twice the angst.

43. Law of Quadrotriscadecophobia
There is no Law #43.

44. Law of Nominative Clamovocation
The likelihood of success and damage done by a martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced.

45. Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis
Regardless of how long or involved the transformation sequence or how many times they've seen it before, any 'Bad Guys' witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it.

46. Law of Flimsy Incognition
Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives

A/N- For all of you little pinheaded people who want to try and sue me...just thought I would state again that I (unfortunately) DO NOT own any of the epic stories I base mine off of. Naruto and Harry Potter are Masashi Kishimoto's and J.K. Rowling's...NOT MINE...

-this has been a public service announcement brought to you by your's truly

-Taco out

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Black Flames Dance In The Wind: Rise of Naruto by DevilKeys Writing reviews
A storm is brewing. Casting a black shadow over the world, threatening to incinerate it and scatter its ashes to the winds. Humanity's only hope lies with a young boy. A boy sacrificed for their protection, yet condemned to a life of hatred and abuse. Will the pariah become the savior? Or will mankind be cast into oblivion by a monster of their own creation?
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 55 - Words: 885,745 - Reviews: 4688 - Favs: 7,665 - Follows: 6,434 - Updated: 6/6 - Published: 7/18/2007 - Naruto U., Kyuubi/Kurama
The Laughing Fox by Lord Dragon Claw reviews
What if Naruto were to be raised by the Joker? Such an idea is so wrong, and yet so right. Not to be taken too seriously.
Crossover - Naruto & Justice League - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 78,908 - Reviews: 1565 - Favs: 3,485 - Follows: 2,969 - Updated: 3/18/2014 - Published: 6/1/2007 - Naruto U., Joker
Reload by Case13 reviews
They've been there. They've done that. And they didn't even get a shirt to prove it. Reload - because sometimes things are just as they seem to be, and at times they are even more.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 153,280 - Reviews: 1393 - Favs: 4,629 - Follows: 3,405 - Updated: 9/22/2009 - Published: 4/17/2008 - Naruto U., Sasuke U.
Crimson Edge by Case13 reviews
Uzumaki Naruto always knew he was special. He always knew he was important. He thought it was because of the Kyuubi. Turns out he got two out of the three right. Bleach crossover
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 6 - Words: 41,033 - Reviews: 783 - Favs: 2,429 - Follows: 2,247 - Updated: 9/9/2008 - Published: 4/14/2008 - Naruto U., Tenten
Livewire by Case13 reviews
The difference between Love and True Love isn't much... except for that 'Even Unto Death' part. Naruto, caught between love, death and his team, can't decide which is the most vexing. Not yaoi.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 47,609 - Reviews: 419 - Favs: 1,062 - Follows: 964 - Updated: 4/16/2008 - Published: 2/12/2008 - Naruto U.
But he's just a ramen chef! by Viperflamer reviews
Naruto had the strength to be hokage a age ten. But something happens and he doesnt' take the job. Instead he quits being a shinobi and becomes a ramen chef. But can a chef with the powers of a Hokage remain a such or will he be pulled back in to save t
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 13 - Words: 73,349 - Reviews: 2900 - Favs: 4,415 - Follows: 3,800 - Updated: 8/13/2007 - Published: 8/6/2006
Reminiscence by Kenya Starflight reviews
Calvin is all grown up... how has the passage of time affected him and those around him? My first nonStar Wars fic!
Calvin & Hobbes - Rated: K - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,516 - Reviews: 797 - Favs: 2,295 - Follows: 248 - Published: 9/7/2004 - Calvin, Hobbes - Complete
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Akatsuki Sound reviews
Naruto is betrayed and blinded at the VOTE. He joins Akatsuki along with a foul mouthed girl from Sound.....
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 20,597 - Reviews: 291 - Favs: 505 - Follows: 484 - Updated: 7/23/2009 - Published: 8/10/2008 - Naruto U., Tayuya
Hero Vs Secretary
Boredom or War? The difference between the two are held by one man. Is the thrill of the past really worth the cost? One-shot: Could become full story.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,725 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/29/2009 - Harry P., Hermione G.
Uzamaki Flash reviews
after being a missing nin for 15 years. Naruto recieves an invitation to judge at the chunnin exams....He returns to see his old friend and his one love...But why was he asked to come back..and why did he accept....Sasuke and Sakura bashing...m for cauti
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,282 - Reviews: 64 - Favs: 174 - Follows: 209 - Updated: 8/5/2008 - Published: 7/28/2008 - Naruto U., Temari
The Three sons of Sparda reviews
Voldemort sent Harry to hell......Right? When Old Moldi butt opens a portal to let loose with some demons....he also lets out three brothers with revenge on their minds.....Hp/Devil May Cry Crossover
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,755 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 62 - Updated: 8/3/2008 - Published: 6/25/2008 - Harry P., Hermione G.