Time for a glimpse into the mind of a man who needs to be put in a straightjacket.

Uhh... I feel like I'm making a profile for eHarmony or something. Uhhh... Hi, I have a penis. I work at a strip club full-time, thou I keep my clothes on. I like cats. I like manga. I'm a leo. I dont like long walks on the beach. I live alone. I'm single. Heterosexual. I like to write.

How smexy I Am

Well, am six feet tall. Why do they say tall. Six feet isnt tall. I feel short. Well, I have long dark black hair,wavey a bit, with random highlights in it. Tan skin(Im puerto rican...) with blueish greenish eyes...I wish, they are dark brown, I just were blue green contacts...Im not gonna lie and say that Im of male model body type...Im a little on the plush side..A little. Not so much that I cant show off me abs at the beach. Or that I have to wear a sports bra during PE(looks at Jimmi and laughs). I wear a size 14 shoe...Yes...My feet a big.Thats enough about how smexy I am...

Resume-ish thingy

Name: Well...Thats something for the government to find out...

Age:18...for now.

D.O.B.: August 14, 1989

Gender: Male

Race: Puerto Rican(WE DA BEST!!)

Height: 6'0

Religion: Pfft...I am religion. Worship your...GAWD.(seriously thou,a very non-observant Catholic.)

The Favorites

Anime: Uhhh...Something thats funny...And has to have good art(Shin Chan is the only exception.)Like Bamboo Blade,Genshiken 2,Bleach,Fate/Stay Night,Elfen Lied,Afro Samurai,TheBoondocks,list goes on.

Video Games:FF series, KH series(except for Coded. i know it hasnt come out yet,but still, a game for your phone.Did anybody play Lost Chapters:Dirge of Ceberus?Thought sucked that hard.), BloodRayne, Metal Gear Solid, Metriod Series, Guitar Hero, Zelda...List goes on.RPG's mostly.

Movies: Well...Ummm...Pirates Of the Carribbean movies. Star wars, Any Will Smith Movie. Any Johnny Depp movie, The Green Mile, The Pursuit of Happiness FF:AC...List goes on.

Music:This is like the least constant thing in my life. Alot of Rap,Rock,some metal,and J-Pop/Rock.

Pairings:Uhhh...Zutara(In my defense,my friend made me put this here under pain of no food the next time i go to her house.)Naruko X Sakura(Its just weird but sooo sexy.)YoruIchi(it will happen OK)Haseo xAlkaid(just to piss of Atoli)...uhhh...Again,List goes on.

Colour(s): Black and Blue,but to balance that out and not get me shot, Red and White.

Not so favorites

General: Uhhh... Most dudes would say Yaoi. But me? I meh it. OHOH , you know your yaoi sucks when straigh guys watch it and say it sucked. Oh, I hate it when people text me with stupid chain letters while the sun is up. I WORK NIGHTS OK! And lag switchers on GoW2. ANd people fucking with my paronoia. Yes, I have a mild case of paronoia. Its what Rorchach is my favorite comic book character and why I'm trying to devise a way of killing Dr.Manhattan.

More on me when ever I feel like letting you guys in on the insanity.

Personal Nags.

Ok,one thing that pisses me off is (and I just found this out when I put of the my first story.) when people ask me when the next chapter is up.

Chris: You finished the next chapter?
Jordan:No.Not even close.

Chris:Why not?
Jordan:Because.

Chris:Why?

Jordan:Its not that easy to write ok.

Chris:Whats so hard about it?

Jordan:I know it looks easy, but you have no Idea how hard it is to write two people doing it.

Chris:Its not that hard. "Inserts, hump hump, bam, im done."

Jordan:throws lap top at chrisYou write the next chapter then.Dick.

Another thing is me not being able to write a lemon.Why?I can picture it in my head, but when it comes down to putting it into words, hell no.Its not gonna happen.That pisses me off.When my brain doesnt work, everything goes to hell. Makes me wonder if brains have a union.

Also, when i go to the book store, and am looking for a specific manga, and its not there for like three months (Rave Master,Im looking at you.).WTF. You say "Out Blah Blah Blah." But how come it takes me 3 months going to nine book stores to find it?Grrr...

Knock the Ramen and your dead. My mom made that mistake when she visited my apartment once, and she got a thirty minute rant. Ramen is the greatest gift that can be given. Be grateful someone shared it with you.

Ok, so I am walking down the street with a few boken. Dont ever say "Oh, I bet I can kick your ass." can. I bet you cant. The only reason you say that, is because you think Im going to keep walked, not stop, hand you one, and proceed to kick you ass on the sidewalk and keep going with my merry day. I hate it when people say shit they cant ever back up.

Trolls,enough said.

Reality shows on BET and MTV. Thier scripted, we get it. They suck. Get people who can act like they just keep up with the words, not someone whose reading off a tele-prompt.

People who ditch me. I was gracious enough to give you a ride to the con(for example) So you might as well be gracious enough to spend the most part of it with me.(Eyes said person) Cosplayers arent a important as your brother.

Cosplayers.Wait until Shunsei Kyoraku comes and kicks Clouds ass at Florida Super Con 2008.

Seats that make your ass hurt. Like the one Im in now. I cant stand this thing. Too cheap to buy a new one.

Yaoi fan girls. I cant cosplay with out a girl coming up and taking my picture(not that I mind) Then asking me if I can kiss Gin(the dude I came with) and she can take a picture of it. FUCK NO.I AM SO NOT KISSING A MAN!!The Matsumoto running around somewhere maybe.The Simca at Yasumi-Con, Oh yea. The Pikachu at every con I go to, you have no idea. But Gin, The dude ive known since diapers. Hell No.

Mean Drunks. If your going to fight me drunk, well... Go ahead...You wont remember your girlfriend laughing at you while your on the groudn puking your guts out after i kicked you in the stomach.

The Nuh Uh person. I hate it when I say I did something, and then that one beaner comes outta nowhere and goes "Nuh Uh."

My Zune. I have no clue what happened to it. But since I dont have stereo(meaning I can hear outta both earbuds) It really pisses me off.Especially when I dont have a radio in the car.

The people at my job. (I work at a strip club) I hate it when people ask me to help them with something that has nothing to do with me. "Let me get a beer"... Im holding a dustpan and broom, what part of this makes you think am your waiter?

My old boss. The guys a douce. I quit on him because he told me I was making everybody miserable even though nobody has said anything to him about me. And that the only reason they dont is because the feel sorry for me.Well hey, I dont wanna work for someone who feels sorry for me.

Shadowmods, enough said.

Hmmm...More ranting later...