"Suicide is man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me, I quit!'"

(PLEASE SIT THROUGH MY RANT)

On the top of a hill, with green grass blowing freely, sat a girl with lively gray eyes, rereading the first volume of Loveless. Her short, dyed-red hair glimmered with shoujo bubbles in the warm sun of the summer afternoon, and her black-gloved hands grasped the book at Ristuka-kun's adorable-ness. Suddenly! The girl jumped to her feet and grinned like that guy from that show she used to watch! For she was Emmy! Li'l Lawliet! The Night Sky Alchemist! Bold enough to like het, shounen ai, AND shoujo ai! Brave enough to openly admit that there are characters hotter than her beloved Edo! For she was a fangirl of some of time's greatest anime and manga! A viewer of awesome shows that "normal" people hate! A friend to the random characters floating around in her head! Yes, this she was… And so much more! For she dared to walk where no "normal" preteen had walked before! She dared to write the glory that is… FANFICTION!

XD-XD-XD-XD-XD-XD-XD-XD-XD-XD-XD-XD-XD-XD-XD-XD-XD-XD-XD-XD-XD-XD-XD-XD-XD-XD-XD-XD-XD-XD-XD-XD-XD-XD-XD-XD-XD

Deviant Art: http:///

Myspace:http:///math_test78

YouTube: http://youtube.com/user/BakaBozu78

Quizilla: http:///user/MetaphysicalFairy/profile/

ZOMFG! Have you seen the cover of the new Shounen Gangan?! Ed and Maka! I'm gonna treasure that one forever… -Laughs-

A Little About Me: I can quickly sway between a dirty old man and an innocent little kid. ;)

I'm the kind of person that you hear other people whispering about… The most common things I hear are "Is she a lesbian?" and "She's the one who yelled at the teacher about mispronouncing a word…"

I'm not a lesbian. I just like seeing girls in goth loli outfits with a lot of lace and bows, maybe with a parasol… Lol, and pronunciation is very important… BTW, saying "That girl is pretty!" is NOT the same as saying "I want to boink that girl!" …Yeesh…

Likes: Edward Elric, cute things, and dressing people up in cute outfits. ;D

Dislikes: Twilight.

Annoying Habits: Hair flipping, humming, calling my friends "you -insert adjective here' bastard!", talking so fast that my voice goes high-pitched, not knowing when to shut up, and a tendency to call Japanese "that mysterious moon language." XD Ask any one of my friends… When I say "that mysterious moon language," they know exactly what I'm talking about.

In parentheses, I'll include my three favorite characters.

Favorite Shows: Fullmetal Alchemist (Edward, Lust, Scar), Soul Eater (Black Star, Soul, Chrona/Krona), Doctor Who (The Doctor, Donna, Sarah Jane), BtVS (Xander, Anya, Spike), Scrubs (JD, Dr. Cox, Elliot), aaaaand… Well, I like a lot, but those are really my favorites.

Favorite Manga: Fullmetal Alchemist (Edward, Ling, Winry), Soul Eater (Black Star, Soul, Tsubaki), D.Gray-man (Allen, Lavi, Krory)

Favorite Movies: Princess Mononoke, Spirited Away, Dark Knight, The Incredibles, A Lion in Winter, Serenity, Grave of the Fireflies, and… Does Doctor Horrible's Sing-Along Blog count?

Favorite Video Games: 'Phoenix Wright, Ace Attorney', Fate/Stay Night, Devil May Cry 3.

Favorite Web Comics: Lackadaisy, MegaTokyo.

Some of my favorite characters from completely stupid shows: Dark (DNAngel), Hotaru (Sailor Moon), Ray (Beyblade), Squidward (Spongebob), Seto (Yu-Gi-Oh!), Daisuke aka Davis (Digimon). HOTARU RULES, BIZATCHES!

People I Love: Zakiyah, Shawnna, Sierra, Aivaras, Taylor, Kristen, and last but not least, my sister Rachel (who can be my best friend and worst enemy). I love a lot of people, though. These are just my really specials. n_n

My Creed: Canon pairings can be good too! You don't have to create some absurd pairing like RoyxWrath for it to be interesting, angsty, cute, or anything else! Hmm… RoyxWrath… -Ponders-

Put this in your profile if you ever saw a boy and a girl hugging and was tempted to scream, "NO! DON'T DO IT! SHE'LL FIND OUT ABOUT THE CURSE!"

Favorite Bands: Barenaked Ladies, the Beatles

Favorite Characters: Ed (FMA), Sai (MTNN), Willow (BtVS), Black Star and Chrona (Soul Eater), the Joker (Batman).

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MINI-RANTS WITH EMMY!

Hello all! As you can probably tell, this is gonna be my new rant section of my profile! Feel free to skip it, though.

es! -Thumbs up- Okay, so… Olive is back, and once again, she seems to be trying to eat my brain. I'm doing all I can right now to keep her from taking over.

MINI-RANT: Improper Spelling in Fanfiction (4/4)

I just don't get it. You people have Microsoft Word, don't you? I mean, I have a Mac, and it comes with Word built in! Even if you don't have an application with spell-check, FFnet offers and alternative program as an option, right? Because that's always what I thought… Even if you can't download that, you really have no excuse! All people… Well, MOST people, have been to school at least ONCE. You SHOULD be able to spell. And not suck at it. …I'm done. Sorry if that was a bit mean. -Sweatdrop-

MINI-RANT: From School! (4/29)

These school computers are awesome! Not only are they Macs, but the school has no idea this website exists! That means I can update whenever I want! Well… When I'm allowed to be on the computers without supervision. -Glances over shoulder-

Sorry… This, once again, isn't as much of a rant as it is a brief update. Gomen. X3

MINI-RANT: Balticon! (5/16)

Uh-huh, I'm goin', uh-huh, and you're no-ot! YEAH BITCH! :D

Okay… Allow me to explain. Balticon is the Baltimore Science fiction and Fantasy convention. I go every year with my family, but this year, for the first time EVAR, I'll be staying there for all three days, because we've got hotel rooms this year! YAY! Also, the Balticon has a 72 hour showing of non-stop anime! Of course, that includes hentai in the night, so I think I'll be sleeping in my hotel room instead. XD G'morning!

MINI-RANT: Sick!

SICK! MOTHER PUSBUCKET! T.T I hate being sick. It means I have to do make-up work, AND I'm stuck with a freaking headache all day long. T3T

MINI-RANT: The longest pairing you have evah heard. +.+

-Ahem-

GaaraxDarkxEdxNarutoxDoctorxIndianaJonesxSweenyToddxEverySingleAkatsukiMemberxSvenxHaruhixBuffyxJDxLightxRockLeexIchigox KuroganexHayama(CuzHe'sCoolLikeDat)xHarryPotterxNeko!EdxPride!EdxCostumed!EdxFem!EdxDark!EdxAngsty!EdxAU!EdxYaoi!Ed xEmo!EdxLovesick!EdxGirlWhoHappensToBeCosplaying!EdxKeichiixTallestRedxDariaxWatanukixHikaruxKaoruxStarbuckxDracoxTophx SesshoumaruxOrochimaruxSlartyBartfax (Slarty Bartfax?!)

Ha ha! Beat THAT! If you're wondering how I came up with that, it started with two of my friends and the con this weekend. XD Okay, so one of them had Naruto make-up and a forehead protector, but she was wearing Ed's coat. Making us wonder what Naruto and Ed were doing to switch clothing. XD Thus the theory of Uzumaki Edward. The other one was dressed as Gaara, but I had black angel wings on for my costume. My wings were hot and sweaty, so I ended up letting her borrow them to get them off my back. DarkxGaara is love! …Apparently…!

After that, we continued the joke, naming various characters as we went along. There were more, but we forgot to write them down. XD Silly us. We also repeatedly added the Doctor into the pairing. Word of advice: to make any pairing funny, add him. Add him NOW.

MINI-RANT: Interview with Ed! (The long-awaited!)

Emmy: Okay Ed, every one of my insane friends have been BOMBARDING me with requests to interview you. Eventually, I caved in under the pressure and agreed. What do YOU feel about it?

Ed: YOU KNOCKED ME UNCONSCIOUS WITH A LEAD PIPE FOR AN INTERVIEW?!

Emmy: Yes, yes, we all feel that way! -Smile-

Ed: …You're a psychopath.

Emmy: Okay! First question! -Ahem-

……ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH WINRY?!

Ed: Eh… This is a little personal, don't you think…?

Emmy: Oh Ed! -Sparkle- I KNEW you couldn't be in love with that wrench-humping whore!

Ed: Wh-What?! I never said--!

Winry: OH, so you think I'm a WHORE now, do you?! -Runs off crying-

Ed: Winry! Wait!

Emmy: Next question! RoyEd is one of the most popular pairings on the net! Many fans, even shippers of EdWin and EdVy are flocking to see this couple! How do you feel about THAT?

Ed: WHAT?! M…ME?! With HIM?! Not only is there a gigantic age difference, but--GROSS!

Roy: Fullmetal-chan… Come over he~re…

Emmy: Moving on! -Glares at Roy- There's a vast fandom growing for the anime, Soul Eater! Endorsed by the creators of FLCL, how do you think loyal followers like myself will react to the sudden shift in theme and mood?!

Ed: Well… WAIT! What does this have to do with Fullmetal Alchemist?!

Emmy: JUST ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION.

Ed: Eep! O-okay… I think that FLCL fans will be pleasantly surprised by Gainax's ability to change their mood so much with different bases… I guess. There… There are probably a few insanely otaku fans who hate Soul Eater just because it's not FLCL, but, those fans would have to be more insane than YOU to like FLCL that much.

Emmy: -Glares at picture of Maka-

…A-Anyway! That concludes our exclusive interview with Ed! Thanks to Chelsea and Miranda for forcing me to do this! Ja!

(BtW, I'm KIDDING. How can you NOT love Soul Eater?!)

UPDATE: I deleted the stereotypes thing because it was pointless and it took up too much space on my page.

MINI-RANT: 'No Bra' is 'All Around Me'

This is a short rant about my two latest obsessions: No Bra and Fly Leaf. No Bra is an awkwardly hilarious (and kind of perverted) shounen-ai manga. I can't really explain it, so I copied Wikipedia's short description of the beginning plot.

"This is a story about two childhood friends, Masato and Yuki, that reunite as teenagers.Masato is surprised to find that Yuki has become so cute, but even more surprised to realize that Yuki was, and still is, a guy. Yuki's affection for cross-dressing leaves Masato with feelings of discomfort and fright."

And… Ahaha… It's pwnsome. It's not really perverted, but I had to add that, because Masato (the main character) is a teenage guy, and, well… He thinks about teenage guy stuff. XD

Okay, so onto my other obsession. Fly Leaf. They're an awesome band, with a lot of creepy yet comforting music. -Sweatdrop- Or maybe that's just me. But, in any case, my favorite song by them is "I'm so Sick." Yah. +.+ It rawks. Go on YouTube and look them up NOW. My other favorite song is "All Around Me," and it has this really great, frantic, almost insane feel to it. And the lyrics aren't even that weird! I WANNA THANK TAYLOR FOR INTRODUCING ME TO THEIR AWESOMENESS!

MINI-RANT: Some Totally Random Pairings I Like :3

I'm gonna tell you some of my fav pairings from shows that I don't care enough about to put on my list.

Zutara (This one is on the top because it's very close to making the list. Avatar is really, really good, and I really like it, but this is the only pairing I like. ;D I try to avoid putting the show up there if I only have one pairing to talk about).

SasuHina (It's weird, it's stupid, and it's addictive. I personally don't like to read fanfiction about the pairing, because I really don't think they would ever fall for each other, but I do like looking at fanart on DA. They look cute together to say the very least.)

Yuki/Kyon/Mikuru (Who doesn't love a love triangle?! I really only like Yuki/Kyon when it comes to MoHS, because they have the most fitting personalities. Haruhi and Kyon would never work. I just don't like the pairing. That and Yuki and Kyon look better together. ;D)

Tomoyo/Syaoran (KYAAAAH! -Squeal- Just don't ask me to explain its super-awesome-fluffy-adorably-squishy-cuteness!)

Fai/Sakura (I don't really like this pairing all that much… But if Fai were a lot younger, they would be better together than Sakura and Syaoran!)

Riku/Sora (-Blush- LEAVE ME ALONE!!)

And, uh… That's all I can think of for now. -Sweatdrop- I might come back and add more later.

MINI-RANT: Whoa Dude.

o_O This is a small conversation my sister and I had when she was rereading the 14th volume of FMA.

Rachel: Whoa, dude, Ed is gonna sic Scar on Envy!

Me: …WHAT?!

Rachel: 'Ed is gonna sic Scar on Envy.'

Me: …Oh.

Rachel: What'd you think I said?

Me: …

Just between you and me, reader, I thought she said "Ed is gonna sex Scar and Envy." XD Damn my sick mind. ED/WINRY ONLY! NO DISGUSTING FMA SLASH FOR ME, THANKS!

MINI-RANT: Leave Tohru Alone!

Tohru Honda is a nice girl! -Sniffle- Don't hate her just 'cause she cares a lot about others' feelings! In the anime she's kind of annoying, and in both the anime and the manga, she's kinda Mary Sue-ish, but she's nice! In real life, people like her are the people we like, so why do we hate her? Just 'cause she's fictional?! Bull crap. Go home and dream about Yuki or somethin'…

MINI-RANT: I'M NOT GAY, DAMMIT! X0

Okay, so, in school last year, I told some friends that I don't like guys. I explained that my hormones just haven't kicked in yet, and outside of anime crushes, I've never had a crush, or a boyfriend. For some reason, everyone took that to mean that I'm a lesbian. I'M NOT A LESBIAN! -Flail- I might be a lesbian in the FUTURE, but as of now I'm undecided! For the rest of the whole school year, random people kept asking me, "Do you like girls?" …RAUGH! -Flail- GO AWAY YOU… YOU PEOPLE!!

MINI-RANT: Gyargh!

I've got a great idea for a graphic novel. :D Not telling anyone about the plot, though. I'll probably put it on DA over the next few months.

MINI-RANT: Wanna hear something really cool? (Nightmare, not for those with weak stomachs)

I, like most people I know, can barely ever remember my dreams. On occasion, I remember flashes or aspects of it, but not much more than that. With one exception…

When I was five or six, I had a dream that was really very disturbing, and I don't just dream about monsters when I get nightmares. My mother and I developed a method of writing down my nightmares and hiding the paper, so that I would forget them. Usually, it worked quite well, but I still remember the scariest of them.

It was the middle of the school year, and a new girl transferred in. I became friends with her, and after school, we went over to her house. It was a one-level Ranch house, but it was on very high stilts above the ocean. Because this was a dream, that didn't bother me one bit, and soon we were inside the house. It was yellow. On the inside, it was a 50's diner, and an invisible jazz band was playing quietly, and we walked through the house. The girl had shoulder-length brown hair. She started giving me a tour of the house. When we got to the last room, I found that her mother was inside, sitting up in bed and reading. She told me that she was very sick, and we talked for a little while. After about a half-hour, she started coughing, and blood started dribbling out of her mouth and eye sockets. Her ears and nostrils started bleeding too, and her skin started bubbling. It turned gray, and started melting off of her face, all the while she was screaming. All that was left was a bloody skull. It lay still for a while, and for some reason (though I didn't notice while I was dreaming), the woman's daughter had disappeared. Suddenly, the skeleton started moving shakily, and I was screaming and crying, and it reached out and grabbed my wrist.

I don't entirely remember what happened after that. I know that I didn't wake up until what felt like an eternity of just dark, but I don't know how long it was really. And… That's all. I felt I had to write that down one more time. Eh heh… And, that's not the worst of the dreams I had when I was little, but some of them are too gory. I don't want to recall them. It makes me feel sick. Even while writing this, I felt vomit form in my throat. Sorry. Nighty night! n_n''

MINI-RANT: What's up with the TIME?!

It's not August. :0 It's not. Why is everyone BULLCRAPPING ME?! Dx It's the friggin' MIDDLE OF JULY! School has not started and it is NOT AUGUST! -Flail- …Sigh. The time is unkind to little bears like me. I got home from school at, like, three o' clock, and before I knew it, it was six. -Sobs- It's not faaiir… :'( I no longer have any time. …And Caitey is smiling at my depression. DAMN YOU! BITCH GOT HER MAN-HANDS ALL OVER MY COMPUTER! Dx Haha, I kid. :o Well, the part about the hands was true.

Caitey responds: DAMN IT,EMMY! I DONT HAVE MAN HANDS! I told you not to write about me in your thingymabob. T_T :Flail: I DO NOT HAVE MAN HANDS!

Me: -Sarcastically- Of course you don't. -Snicker-

Haha, I'm not gonna write what Caitey says next. :P Take THAT, you man-handed beeot!

MINI-RANT: Who's on Team Jacob?

By Team Jacob, I am, of course, referring to Jacob Black of the Twilight Saga. I personally hate Twilight (or at least think it's undeserving of its popularity), but Jacob Black is an exception. 8D Of course. I love him, he's practically the only developed character, that comes along with totally human flaws. And that's why Jacob should win. The End.

MINI-RANT: Naruto? WTF IS NARUTO?!

Anime Club meets again tonight. That's right. This time, we're watching Naruto. My first reaction? "What the hell is NARUTO?"

xD Don't get me wrong. I'm aware of the hell-bound abomination. I'm aware of its sexy yaoi and yuri (and hell, maybe some het) pairings. If I were able to finish my thought, it would have been "What the hell is Naruto doing in this wonderful club of all things good and Asian?" But noooo. Caitey had to hit me in the head with her messenger bag. And then start poorly singing the Hare and Guu theme song.

OH, THE HEADACHE!! So, tonight, we'll be drawing cards to start Secret Santa-ing. Pretty cool, ey? Eyy? I hope Little Brother's there! _ Little Brother is this kid who goes to anime club (his name obviously isn't Little Brother), but everyone assumes we're siblings. xD He's so adorable. I have to get a picture with him sometime.

MINI-RANT: OWNED!

Yes, Little Brother was there. xD And we watched Black Cat instead of Naruto.

MINI-RANT: Eww…

I put the microphone in my mouth… And now it's all wet… -Sob-

MINI-RANT: Quotes of the Month!!

"No, Emmy, I don't think I want to be a Reever." --Bridget

"He's not a GAY cow, he's a bisexual cow." --Queen Aidan

"She calls me a terrorist, I call her a big fat Jew nose, she say's I'm gonna drop a nuke on her house: that's how we roll!!" --Zakiyah

"Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers made a pact with the devil-- Disney. Those big, round ears are horn covers. The four signs of the apocalypse are those young, beautiful, and supposedly talented teenagers." --David

"Gay lesbian butt secks!!" --Sam

"No, no, let 'im crash! OH- That's gotta hurt. -Laugh-" --Will (As he pushed Payton down a parking lot in a shopping cart

"This if perfectly SAAAAAAFEEEEEEE!!" --Payton

"WINRY HAS GIGANTIC--"--Rachel "…Wrenches"--My Dad

"Instead of having vampires burn up in the sun, let's make them sparkle!!" --Me (as Stephenie Meyer)

"The Wonderful Adventures of Mr. Koko and Jonathan Cohen, the anti-Semitic Jew in the Beautiful Land of School!!" --My entire school (I got them to call them that. xD)

"A long, long… LONG time ago, Mr. Mills was a handsome, benevolent prince, with long, flowing hair. Then, a daemon posessed his eye, and devoured his soul, turning him into a cold-hearted monster who devoted his life to tormenting children, and telling their parents so that they would be forever trapped in the dungeons of hell known as their homes." --Moi.

MINI-RANT: Oh my God, I'm Gonna Die.

"How's that stick up your ass, Kanda?"

"What's it like to be a lesbian, Kanda?"

"Hey Kanda, you might wanna do something about that sand in your vagina."

xD

MINI-RANT: Well then. :D

Kanda is a smurf.

He grows one every time he needs it.

Which is often, apparently.

…Well then. :D