Update 6/14/08: Two days ago, I got my Associates Degree in Applied Sciences. Therefore, that is good for three reasons!

1. I will probably start working during the daytime after about 2 or so months. That means that I will have more energy and more sleep with which to work on my fanfiction stuff.

2. I will make more money at my new job, which means that I will be happy!

3. I don't have any more schoolwork. Right there means more time.

Now, if only I can get over the whole procrastination thing. Huh...

Update 9/12/08: Well, sorry for not getting anything done on...erm...just about anything. I've moved to a new house/apartment/dwelling, and am getting settled in, and to make matters worse, my motherboard on my computer is shot! YEEHAA!! But, I have my installer working on a new motherboard, and it should be in here in about 2 days. Also, I finally have my schedule down, so look for new chapters just as soon as I get my computer back!

Update 8/15/12: Wow! I haven't updated anything for forever, have I? I'm sorry about the delay in pretty much every story I've got. Life stuff and all that. I'm still writing here and there for Deidara's story, but the others are on hiatus until I can come up with new ideas. I know where I want to go with all of them, I just dont know how to get there. Sooooooo...yeah.

Ok, so. Poll 1 is complete. That was a preliminary poll, and for just two weeks, I am proud to say that 11 people voted. Now, how did they vote? Well...

Most wanted to watch more Naruto as their New Year's Resolution

Some wanted to find boyfriends/girlfriends and lose weight

Some wanted to put together a good story

One person wanted to kill their family

Ok, so poll 2 for February is now done and whatnot, and like last time, my first poll is going back up there. Now, as to what the people voted for.

On the identity of Pain!

A whopping 5 people think Pain is Nagato, from Jiraiya's past!

2 said that they have no absofreakinglutely idea who Pain is.

1 person thinks Pain is Naruto's mommy!

1 person thinks that Pain is someone who hasn't been shown yet.

AND! 1 person, with me included, but not counting, said that Konan is way super hot, and that she should be the leader of Akatsuki. Hurray!

Thank you to the ten people who voted for my poll!

Ok, so. I have decided to pull my latest poll down...after three months. Doih! Anyways, the poll was who people thought was the bestest of the best Naruto character! And, the winners are!...

1. Naruto! (Go figure...)

2. Deidara! (Again, go figure...)

3. Sasori! (Again again, go figure...)

4. Hinata! (Frankly, I'm surprised that Itachi, Tobi, or Gaara didn't take this place.)

5. Shikamaru! (Surprised again...)

Everyone else, I'm sorry. Coincidently, nearly 35 people voted on this one! That's amazing! Thanks to everyone who voted, and keep it up! We'll show Iraq how democracy works!

Strangely enough, Gaara, Temari, Shino, Kiba, and a whole bunch of other people who, I thought, were pretty popular...weren't. Go figure, huh?

It is now 9:53 AM, and I woke up about three hours ago. I have, probably, the worst hangover from drinking last night that I have ever had...ever! It pales in comparison to that one night, you have no idea. Anyways, drinking fluids and eating potatoes, I don't know if anyone has told you or not, doesn't truly help matters. So, kiddies, don't drink...ever! It's not good for you, and my liver already hates me. I can tell. So...a lesson from your buddy Uzuki.

P.S. This is what part of the alphabet would look like if Q and R were eliminated. - Mitch Hedburg...R.I.P.

I am looking for someone to tell me how great I am every day! Why...Idunknow. Why not?

Uzuki's Stats!

Age: 21...which is why my grammar is so good and my spelling rocks the house! And why I'm drunk! Wait...no, huh? However, I cannot understand the to and too, which means that you will probably just have to deal with it. Also, at this moment, my eye itches. OWWWEEE!!

Sex: Male...can you believe it's not butter? Apparently, all yall are chicks...that's coo, though.

Location in the World: USA...Oregon...On the Coast...because fishing rocks!...rockfish...HA!

Song That is Currently Running Through My Mind 24/7: Through the Fire and Flames by DragonStorm!

I have a mind to make a flash for the above song. As soon as I get flash...and some drawing talent...I will make it, and create the website for my homepage, so you all may enjoy! However, I don't have talent nor flash yet, so you will just have to wait!

Good news! I finally have flash, and an animation studio for my computer. The flash that I mentioned above will no longer be a dream. It will be made in my own image and created with flair! I am god...fear me!

Interests: Things that make me laugh, cry, stuff like that. Ok, maybe less of the crying and more of the laughing. Fishing is great...as is the polka and handstands...Yah!

Anime: Inuyasha and Naruto. Not so much of the Bleach...(why did they name an anime series over a common household cleaning product?)

Send me money too...because I like's me some money!

Quotes I like:

If a woman falls over wearing heels, that's embarrassing, but if a bloke falls over wearing heels, then you got to kill yourself, you know? It's the end of your life, it's quite difficult!..."Eddie Izzard"

I do not know which hotel I am staying at. However, I do know that there are two trees involved..."Mitch Hedberg"

I was dating a girl once, she said her name was Amy. I said, oh, A M Y? She said no, A Y M I E. Uh...oh...I got to go lie down. My name is Brian, that's B R X M P T S O N, the number 7 the letter Q. BRRAGGNNSIICHHFKLK! It's huge! I mean, look at my name tag...it's big!..."Brian Regan"

I am who I am, and that's all that I am..."I don't know"

One day, the sun will burn out...and it will be dark..."I don't know"

I get it...and you will get it...as the axe SLICES through the meat!...Master Shake ATHF

Robbing me of my virginity? No, not now...and I'm not a virgin...I never was...I mean...I was...but..."Frylock ATHF"

Man he's dumb...I'm dumb to...I ate a ball of wire once...man I's is dumb..."Meatwad ATHF"

Super...Super duper..."Carl ATHF"

Ask not what your country can do for you...but what you can do for your country!..."Some president who is dead now"

Cheeseballs cheeseballs cheeseballs cheeseballs...Me

Hicka Bicka Boo? Booshaw!...Kim Possible's brothers

You think you're all that! But you're not!...Doctor Draken

FACE!...I don't know, but I say that a lot!

I'm gonna start droppin' F bombs, listen to this. Fart you farter!...Meatwad

"YOU'RE MAKING IT UP!"...Invader Zim, Episode: Gaz, Taster of Pork. You just need to be there for it.

"I'm going to get inside his base and do...something. Man, am I going to do something!"...Dib

"I like's nachos!"...Gir

"Invader's blood marches through my veins, like giant, radioactive rubber pants! The pants command me! Do not ignore my veins!"...Invader Zim

"You...quit being banished?"...Tallest Purple

"I will begin my lecture on the universe, and how it will eventually implode in on itself!"...Ms. Bitters

"Doom doom doom...go home now!"...Ms. Bitters

"Let us bring some doom down upon the filthy heads of our doomed enemies!"...Invader Zim

"Horn broken, watch for finger!"...The greatest bumpersticker of all time!

"Keep honking, I'm reloading my gun!"...The next best bumpersticker of all time!

"Hey...that is creepy! You're creepy zim!"...Tallest Purple

My Stories

I have begun the great deleting! Some of my stories have been erased...FOREVER! But my best are still here. THANK ME NOW!

If a story that you liked was deleted, sorry! But, the ones I got rid of were destroyed for the mere fact that...I was tired of them. I really didn't like them, and the ones that I didn't have any ideas for...well...they be gone!

To those who liked Canceled...well, sorry. But, that would have been a huge project, and as it stands right now...I really didn't feel like taking it on. However, if anyone out there would like to continue it, then please feel free! In fact, tell me when chapter 1 is up and I will be more than happy to add myself to the list of heroes! And I will give you a bump here on my profile! Isn't that nice?

To those who liked the Hinata changes because of the star story. That one truly sucked! I had to go back and re-read it and figure out that it truly truly sucked! I may retype it one day, but I probably won't. There were loopholes up the yingus on that one. Therefore, it became a part of the great deleting! One of the whole! Yeehaw!

To those who liked any of the others, well...sorry I suppose. They were crap, really. But, if you really did like them, then allow your imagination to go wild and unending! Paint a picture with them and write them your way! But please tell me, so I can read it! I love to see how others make my work! It...fills me with so much mustard, to quote someone...

The Everyone Else Has One Why Not Me Rant Section

Why the hell are there so many god damn yaoi's out there? You look for a Naruto Sasuke fanfiction, and you get a million of them. However, if you look for something like a Sakura Ino fanfiction, you get almost nothing comparitively. What the hell? Are you all on crack? Seriously, I mean, what the hell is everyone thinking? Why the hell would there be so many Yaoi's and hardly any Yuri's or, for that matter, straight fanfiction's? I mean, if you think about it, hardly anyone want's to actually see two guys get it on, so why would you write about it? Honestly people...

Why ever would Naruto be a woman? Why would Haku be a woman, except for the fact that he looks like one? Why ever would people think that a FemNaruto and Sasuke ever be together? Why would Haku be with anyone but Haku? Haku deserves better than to be a woman, you bastards! Leave Haku alone!

Why do people have Hinata and Neji having sex? What the hell is wrong with you people?

Why do people have Sasuke and Itachi having sex? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!

Why do people have any pairings whatsoever, but don't say that the characters are over the age of 18? You guys are just wishing for an Amber Alert, aren't you?

What do Gaara and Hinata have in common? Absofreakinglutely nothing! That's what! I mean, god damn, I think that Hinata would faint, and Gaara would kill her, and then I would have to kill Gaara for killing Hinata, because Hinata is way cooler than Naruto ever could be! If that didn't make sense, good! IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO!

Sasuke needs to be booted from the series, permanently. He drags it down with his mediocre acting and his horrible display of emoism.

Orochimaru can have Sasuke for all I give a shit!

People, if you write fanfictions that contain Japanese. I don't care if you have Japanese words in it. However, for those who aren't knowledgable about Japanese, than do us the freaking favor of finding out what the damn word means and putting it somewhere in the story! Don't just say something in Japanese and leave it! Especially jutsu's! Some of us don't freaking know all the damn Japanese jutsu's by heart, and we are too damn lazy to go and find them ourselves. Put them in the author's notes or something, but do it! GOD DAMN!

People who write fanfictions! Learn to fucking spell your god damn words correctly! If I find a te where a the is supposed to be, I may have to kill someone, damn it! It's even easier now with a spellcheck! Just do the damn thing. It isn't hard to spell words correctly. Big words only mean you need to take more time with it. Give us the shadow of a doubt and go back and spell it correctly!

Learn some proper grammar as well! Those of you who put different people talking in the same damn paragraph need to learn how to do the damn thing correctly. GEEZ!

Things I am right about (Usually I am!) (Just letting you know!)

Updated: 6/14/08 - 120 and lower

1. Naruto's father is...the Yondaime Hokage! I knew it, so you all can just shut the hell up! I WIN! Oh, and we now know the Hokage's name to. And his mother's name. But I will let you read all that crap.

2. The Yondaime is the leader of Akatsuki. Shut up, you all saw it coming, but I knew it forever and a day! If you don't think so, then you need to read the manga and look at them both! Now, they bring out some new mangas, and my whole perspective on this thing is f'ed right up! Damn you Kishimoto! STOP DOING THAT! Anyways, I still think what I think, though now it is probably wrong. I hate trickery. But it is kinda fun. Ok, that's all for this one!

3. We all know that Uchiha Obito is Tobi...cause he is a good boy! Oh, I didn't really know that, I just learned that, so I am putting it here! Adding this on, now that other Uchiha guy is in the mix. Why does Kishimoto do this to me? WHY KISHI! What did I ever do to you, huh?

4. Cheese spelled backwards...doesn't make sense. However, if you spell God backwards, we'd all be going woof!

5. Akamaru is the shit!

6. Ino will marry Chouji! You heard it here first! None of that ShikaIno bullcrap! None of it I say! InoCho all the way!

7. Shikamaru will marry Temari...ummmm, duh!

8. Hinata is stuck with Naruto...sorry Hinata.

9. Sakura and Sasuke will be together...because that is how lameasses get to be...together and stuff!

10. TenTen will probably end up with Lee...because he is awesome. HAI!

11. I don't know who Neji will end up with...because their aren't very many girls left. Probably some unknown still in the future!

12. Oh yeah, did I mention that Naruto's dad is the Fourth? I think I did, but I will remind you of that!

13. Naruto is stupid, Sasuke is emo, Sakura is useless, Kakashi will kick your ass, and Gai...is Gai! HAI!

14. I could go on all day like this people!

15. SPAM is actually the entrails of pigs, ground up, and served to you, sometimes fried, between two slices of bread and mayo.

16. The only problem with ramen is that I can't afford it...

17. I like fish tacos!

18. Bad guys never catch a break!

19. Kisame is going down from Gai...who will probably kill him...but will need help from Lee to do it!

20. The female Akatsuki member is Freakin' HOT!!

21. Most chicks in Naruto are freakin' HOT!!

22. Except Sakura...

23. TenTen is ok...

24. Ino is good...without the blonde hair...

25. Temari is the shiznit!

26. I am rambling now.

27. I like string cheese!

28. Gorgonzola smells funny!

29. I want some chocolate milk...I don't know, I just feel like a tall glass of brown moo juice!

30. Did I really say brown moo juice? weird!

31. We now know, hint hint, that Tsunade likes Jiraiya. Of course, we all knew that anyways...but they are to old now to have babies, so bad news bears for them!

32. Breast reduction is probably the best course of action for Tsunade to take.

33. However, seeing her naked would probably make most guys drool.

34. Especially Jiraiya.

35. Where do you think Naruto got his Jexy no jutsu from? It wasn't from Iruka, I can tell you that!

36. I don't see what people like in Yaoi! That is my personal opinion.

37. For that matter, I don't see what people like in Yuri either!

38. Though I am probably a hypocrite if I said I don't enjoy a good Yuri every once in a while.

39. TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!

40. I now have over 20k hits on my stories...if you put them all together! YEAH!

41. My Deidara story is the best one ever! Don't believe me? Then read it! Oh, and then go check the other ones out. Their good...but mine is better. I kid though...not really.

42. Ok, I'm a little conceited.

43. Back to Naruto...ummm. Neji will be with that one chick that we saw once in episode 3...I think. Maybe 2...I can't remember. The chick that looks like Tenten but a lot bitchier...you know who she is if you just remember.

44. Why do I say that? I don't know. He's lonely, and he needs a hug!

45. I ain't gonna hug him though. I'm a guy...I don't play that side of the field.

46. It would be cool to do the Sexy Jutsu in bars. I could get free drinks and then leave. No one would ever know...

47. Doing it to much would be bad for my self control, however...to much time...nm

48. WWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!

49. Shizune is cute! I would totally date her. And then when she woke up, we would be having bacon! HEHEHEHE!

50. Damn I hate that pig!

51. Frogs...hehehehee

52. Why slugs, Tsunade? Wouldn't you prefer, like, butterflies or something?

53. Snakes...hehehehe...what?

54. Orochimaru is Micheal Jackson's cousin, twice removed.

55. Sometimes I feel like a nut...sometimes...

56. If I had one jutsu, it would be the Rasengan...because I could blow people's cars away, and they would never know it was me!

57. If I had a gekkai kekkai, it would be the byakugan...for obvious guy reasons...hehehe.

58. Yep, I am a pervert!

59. If you would like to join Jiraiya's Pervert of the Month Club, you can call now! 666-666-6666...don't call that, it's fake. Duh!

60. Shikamaru is lazy, Ino can be a bitch (But she is way hotter than Sakura could ever be), and Chouji is NOT FAT!! He's fluffy, there is a difference people!

61. Shino's bugs are cool. I would train them to fetch my stuff!

62. Kiba needs to take obedience classes.

63. Hinata...well, she just needs to get out more.

64. Naruto is probably the dumbest character in the show, and he's the main character. Is he really human like? Ummm...I don't think that a baby is that stupid!

65. I'm running out of things to say!

66. More stuff now!

67. Invader Zim is the best show to ever grace Nickleodeon. Why they canceled it I will never know, but they will pay for it! THEY WILL PAY!

68. Why do old people call us youngin's? Why do young people call old people, er...old? They aren't really old, they are just older...if you understand.

69. Final Destination scared me for like 5 minutes when the tanning beds caught on fire with those two chicks inside. That was way graphic and scared the living piss out of me. Yeah, I never tanned in the beginning.

70. This one time, I broke my arm, and it hurt really bad. My friend said, wrongly, that my keys were in a throttling wood chipper. Alas, they were not. From now on, all my locks shall be keyless! (That was from ATHF, if you didn't know!)

71. That chick that hangs around with Pain is hot, yo!

72. Papery to!

73. She is like some sort of papery, hot chick!

74. Why are all the really hot chicks evil?

75. For that matter, why are all the ugly chicks good? Cough cough Sakura cough cough!

76. For that matter matter, why are all the good guys so damn stupid, and the bad guys so damn smart? Hasn't anyone told these Japanese people about Bugs Bunny and Yosemite Sam?

77. Meep meep!

78. I haven't typed up any new ones for a while, so I did! HA!

79. The sky is blue because of the way the sun hits it. Then the atmosphere turns that color because of radioactive monkey waves sent out by the Hubble Telescope. Or something like that. Want the real truth? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!

80. Still don't know how to do the whole to and too thing. Darn you grammar. DARN YOU TO HECK!

81. When I first saw Kimimaro, I thought cool, boney guy. Then, I saw the real him...and I was like...cool, boney guy.

82. Sometimes I wan't to reach into my t.v. and strangle Naruto.

83. I'd kinda like to kick Sakura in the face.

84. I'd kinda like to throw Sasuke off a cliff.

85. It would be cool to rip Hinata out of the t.v. and make her my maid. Because she could see the dust bunnies underneath my bed, and I flatly refuse to crawl under there.

86. It would be cool to take Ino out of the t.v. and make her do my bidding. I would find Jennifer Aniston and have Ino get into her body and make her do crazy things. Can anyone say livin' la vida loca?

87. Why is Jennifer Aniston so hot now?

88. Why did Angelina Jolie become so bitchy, whiny, and ugly?

89. Why do you even care?

90. When your parents ask you if you think money grows on trees, then say, calmly, that trees are ground up into small flakes and added to water, which makes wood pulp. This pulp is then colored by dye, pressed into neat sheets of green paper, and copied into money. These are sent to banks, which distributes them to the general public. However, if the tree hadn't grown, then we would have no money. Ergo, no trees, no money. Yes, money does grow on trees.

91. I wish quarters grew on trees. But that is a story for another day.

92. The continuation of the series!

93. Bread is magical. It is the only substance known to man that cheese, meat, and vegetables can be found at the same time. It is also the wonder machine item. If you don't believe, than prepare to be amazed!

94. Santa isn't real. However, I did get a package from someone that I didn't know, which was kinda like getting something from Santa. DAMN YOU FAT MAN! DAMN YOU!

95. Easter eggs are good to hide. However, be sure that someone knows that they are hidden. Otherwise, you may walk into your house a week later, take one sniff, and say to yourself..."Oh yeah!"

96. Halloween is coming up. Prepare for my Darth Vader outfit all ye plebians! PREPARE!

97. Star Wars...the Galactic Cluster Fuck!

98. Cheeseballs cheeseballs cheeseballs cheeseballs...

99. Fruitcake...good to give, better to receive. Once you get one, you now have a present for someone you don't like.

100. I AM AT 100 NOW!

101. If you have a story that is good, let me know. I am always willing to read good stories.

102. If you have a crappy story...delete it. If you have a relatively mediocre story, than improve it. If you have a good story, than say so. If you don't have any stories because you're a flamer, then you need to jump off a roof.

103. Those who question my authority must be hung from the highest rafter.

104. Don't really do that. It was just a figure of speech.

105. OK! BACK TO NARUTO STUFF NOW!

106. I was thinking about it. What if...now just roll with me on this one, but what if...Pain is actually the brother of the fourth, and Konan is actually Naruto's mom. What if, in fact, Naruto is somehow able to control water, and uses it in accordance with all local laws and treaties. Someone should tell Kishimoto that. Because, and I mean this sincerely, it would screw up the basis for most of my theories, and therefore leave me in a puddle of my own filth.

107. I have basically given up on the whole theories thing. Reason being...Kishimoto seems to want to piss me off by going in the opposite direction all the time.

108. 10-1 odds that Jiraiya dies in the next 4-5 manga series. Any takers?

109. That was a bet that Tsunade should never have taken.

110. Big boobs McGee...

111. Hehehehe...boobs...

112. Hehehehe...pig...

113. I will still find a way to kill that damn little Tonton...just see if I don't!

114. Shizune is mine, you bastards!

115. Cheese feels squishy when you roll it for an hour between your toes!

116. Invader Zim, Naruto, and Inuyasha should all fight as one! That would be the biggest damn showdown ever!

117. God damn I'm boring.

118. Oh crap! I took the lord's name in vain!

119. Eh...oh well.

120. Oh! Jiraiya died. Yeah, sorry all you Jiraiya faithfuls. However, if you are depressed, don't be, I still believe that Pain is the fourth, so you still have something to look forward to. HA! Ok, that's it.

121. With my new degree, I feel better and more powerful! That means...I dunno. But, it's good. Trust me!

122. I just had an epiphany like...2 days ago! Ok, so...what if Pain is really Kushina? And Madara is really the Fourth, who stole the second eye from Obito when he died, because that's how he planned it...cause, you know...he's smart and junk.

123. I really don't have a basis for the above. I just think that it is cool.

124. I figured out how to kill Tonton! Just send that thing to a bacon factory, and Shizune and I will live happily ever after.

125. Though, if I think about it, I like boobs :). So, I'd probably go with Tsunade.

126. They have been living together...probably. So, maybe can do like a Three's Company thing. Haha! Perfect!

127. Course, one day, my feet would be cold, and I'd wake up without...well...anything. Like...anything that I was born with...yeah.

128. The above? That would be bad, for those who don't understand that.

129. I have just gotten into playing DragonQuest 8 again, simply because I'm bored, and it's there, and I'm there...

130. I still haven't gotten a Wii. Though, when I do, Zelda: Twilight Princess is first on the list.

131. Who here agrees that Kishimoto can take his plot twists and shove it?

132. I didn't say that. My rabid weasel did...he's bad...bad to the bone...real bad...

133. If you squeeze a lemon really, really hard!...you get juice in your eye...which stings.

134. The salmon season is drawing closer. I can feel them coursing through the river! Feel them! FEEL THEM NOW!

135. As Invader Zim says, "I can feel them marching through my veins, like...GIANT RADIOACTIVE RUBBER PANTS! The pants command me...do not ignore my veins!"

136. I highly recommend reading as opposed to just sitting there, playing WoW.

137. If you play WoW for more than 2 hours a day...shoot yourself in the head.

138. This coming from a guy who used to play Runescape non-stop almost the entire day, for weeks on end...

139. Perfect waste of my life, too...

140. I have a degree now. That means, I'm better than you. So...give me all your money!

141. My fic's are coming along quite well, I think. Most of them suck...don't read them. But seriously, do it.

142. If you have a good fanfic that needs editing, let me know. I'm open. Which reminds me, I have a chapter to do right now! I should probably get to it.

143. whistle whistle whistle...What? I'm whistling. Don't judge me...

144. I love I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry! That movie kicks ass!

145. Course, I love most Adam Sandler movies, so...

146. If your friend is retarded, and says stupid stuff, turn to them and say, "The next time you have a thought...just...let it go."

147. Kermit the Frog as a pimp...picture that and try to sleep at night!

148. For all the guys out there...imagine Tsunade naked and try to sleep at night!

149. For all the girls out there...imagine that fat guy from that one episode in Naruto where Ino had to make him fall in love with her naked. Then...try not to die...

150. But, if you do happen to die...give me all your money!

151. So...lalalala...I'm singing now...lalala...what? Don't judge me!

152. I can't abide those who break the rules. However, if you merely side-step them, that's fine. But rules are expensive to replace. Like glass windows...when I break them...with a baseball...and a tunafish sandwich...

153. Don't ask...

154. Well, that's all the nonsensical things I can come up with. Tune in next time for more I know more than you...because...I know more than you!