Prologue

Wrapping his arm around her, Garrus pulled Shepard in tight. Nuzzling her brow, he let his eyes slip closed, using his mouth to see her. Rigid mouth-plate caressing her skin, he relished every subtle flaw. Her scent filled him as if, for those precious few moments, she poured into all the empty places, infusing 'what could be' and 'what never was' with 'what is'. After making love, the intoxicating animal scents of sweat and desire laced through the rest, teasing his every nerve ending with the memory of her touch.

Moving against him softly, she stirred, sleepy and slow. He nipped her earlobe. "You can't sleep yet."

Smiling, she reached up to caress his face, her fingertips trickling over him like warm, late summer rain. "Garrus?"

"Mmmm?" He pressed his hand against her belly, pulling her into him, and slid his mouth across her shoulder, his tongue savouring the brine of her exertion even as her body still pulsed slowly with pleasure. Muscles rippled like waves under his talons while his thumb drew slow arcs around her navel, teasing her skin into gooseflesh. Spirits, he loved when it did that.

"It's my body's way of saying it likes you touching it," she'd whispered against his neck their first night together.

"My people have a saying that when we die, our life flashes before our eyes." Rolling over, she leaned up on her elbow and looked into his eyes, those emerald depths flashing with hope. She behaved most like a girl just after making love, happy and glowing, but he felt the weight and sadness lurking just beneath even then. "Do you think, maybe, in that moment, we have a chance to see ahead as well as behind? Do you think it lets us see what might have been?"

He shook his head, sighing. Long talons brushed through her hair, playing with the short, silken curls. "I don't know. Maybe." He dropped his mandibles in a turian frown. "Might be sad ... to see all the 'what could have beens'. Let's just forget dying and stay in this moment as long as we can." He closed his eyes again and brushed his mouth along her cheekbone to the cool, soft tip of her nose.

"Mmm, I love it when you touch me like that." A soft, wavering sigh escaped her lips.

"Like what?" Subtle, Vakarian, but the other subject sat uncomfortably close for the night before battle. For now, he needed Earth and all its terrible possibilities to stay outside the door, far away from the warmth and comfort of the woman wrapped around him, legs and arms entwined with his.

She smiled and kissed him, dragging her bottom lip from his mouth to his nose and then his brow. "Like someone putting a piece of chocolate in their mouth and just letting it melt." Lacing her fingers with his, she pulled his arm around her.

His mandibles spread and fluttered hard at that. "I like that," he whispered. "An apt analogy."

"Mmmm… ." She stretched long and slow, running the pad of her foot up his leg to his spur, teasing the nerve endings there. "I think it would be nice," she whispered. Soft, moist lips kissed his neck, starting near his cowl, following the hollow of his throat. She nipped him, grinning when he rumbled deep in his throat. Her tongue flicked out under his jaw, kissing and teasing.

"What would be nice, my love?" He froze, the words slipping out through the wall so carefully constructed. Damn, he always made sure not to say those things first.

Instead of pulling away, instead of giving him that look, she smiled and curled in tight against him. "A chance to see that life, even if just for a second… ." She paused, and he could feel the heat of her breath on his mandible as she caressed it with her lips, making her way to his mouth. Kissing him again, she whispered, "My love."

He growled low in his throat as her tongue teased his. He pulled back a little. "How about we just get rid of the Reapers and live it. Deal?"

She leaned up, crawling up his body, low enough that her breasts pressed against him. He slid his hands up her sides, following the map of scars and freckles by memory to all the places that made her sigh and smile, that slightly wanton, hungry smile reserved only for him. Dragging her leg over him, slow and lazy, she straddled his thighs. Biting the corner of her lip, she moved over him, teasing, then laughing bright and loud when he couldn't stand it any longer and grabbed her in his arms.

"Deal!" she gasped, her hands reaching up to clutch his. Her fingers spread then clutched his in rhythm with his hips, her head thrown back, mouth open, back arched.

He watched, in awe of her beauty, of the passion that radiated from every cell when she finally dropped her shields, letting him in. She was a praela, a goddess, and he couldn't take his eyes off her.

Looking down at him, she smiled, running her bottom lip between her teeth as she bent to press her mouth against his cheek, panting hard and lusty. She tilted her head, opening her neck to him.

He chuckled and ran his teeth over the skin, nipping lightly, then harder as she pressed into him, moaning low and heavy, deep in her throat. Each panting breath came faster, more shallow, then she arched hard into him, turning to kiss his face. Lips like dew covered leaves teased and sucked, tongue dancing across his skin.

His eyes slipped closed, her scent, her sweat dripping onto his skin, the pulse of her muscles, wrapping him in a cocoon where nothing existed outside of her. He laid her hands against his chest, sliding his talons up her arms and across her shoulder blades, pulling her into him as for one brief moment, he felt the barriers of flesh and bone dissolve, allowing them to pour into one another. One perfect second, like light glistening through a raindrop before it fell from the leaf, immortal as it spun, making love to the air before embracing the earth.

"Mmmm." Shepard sighed, wrapping herself around him as he turned onto his side. "God, that was …. " She chuckled. "Mmmmm. It was as perfect as I could have wished for, but we really need to get some sleep."

He nuzzled her ear and rumbled as her fingertips stroked the hollow of his pelvis and the inside of his thigh. "Then you might need to stop doing that."

"Mmm, no, I'm afraid I can't do that."

They lapsed into a sated and sleepy silence, the rhythm of her hand easing him toward sleep. Just as he began to doze, he heard her question play through his mind. "Why did you ask about seeing your life flash in front of your eyes, Shepard?"

Curling into him, she kissed his chin. "Because it's been a beautiful dream."

He scowled and leaned up, the moment shattering. "What do you mean?"

Gentle, loving fingers reached out to caress his scars. "I never landed, Garrus. Tomorrow, I think I will. I've felt it for days now. Tomorrow, my long fall ends."

He sat up. "Landed? Long fall? What? Shepard, you're not making sense."

"On Alchera."

Her words splashed against him, a bucket of ice water on heated skin. He reached out, pulling her into his arms, cradling her against him. How had he not seen this? How had he not realized in all this time? "You still think you're falling?"

"I have to be." She smiled. "They said I died, that Cerberus somehow spliced all my bits together, but how?" Shepard wrapped her arms around him. "No. People don't just blink on and off like light bulbs, Garrus. If I'd died, I would have gone somewhere or just turned off. Come on, let's get some sleep."

He hugged her tighter and buried his face in her neck. "No, Shepard. No. Why haven't you said anything about this?" He had to force the words out, taking deep breaths between to relax his throat, a cancerous tumour of sorrow growing there. "Spirits, Shepard. You're not still falling. I don't know why you don't remember anything. Maybe you stuck around. Hell knows you're stubborn enough." He pressed his forehead to hers. "You're alive. You're here, with me."

She smiled and reached up to touch his scars. "We need to sleep." She kissed him and wriggled from his arms, feet padding on the deck plating, hips swinging softly as she crossed the floor and climbed the stairs. Stopping at the top, she turned back, watching him for a moment before a gentle smile crossed her face.

"If you're right, tomorrow is my last hopeless battle. I'll tell the Alliance that I'm done, and we'll leave death behind." She lifted her fingers to her lips and blew him a kiss. "Deal?"

"Deal."

He watched her disappear behind the door, a slow, sad terror creeping through his veins. How had he not seen it?