"Seeing as we lost Red Dwarf with little to no hope of ever finding it again, coupled with the fact that there are no derelict ships or planets with breathable atmospheres anywhere nearby, and that we only have enough supplies to last us for a few more months, it seems we only have one option," Kryten announced to Lister, Rimmer, and Cat who were all gathered around a table in Starbug, looking up at him intently.
"And what would that be?" asked Rimmer. "Jump out of the airlock now to end our suffering?"
"Well, preferably not, Mr. Rimmer," said the mechanoid. "One fact that we have previously overlooked is that Starbug is equipped with deep sleep chambers."
"Deep sleep?" asked Lister. "What's the difference between that and stasis?"
"Well, sir, they serve basically the same purpose except instead of keeping you frozen in time, deep sleep puts you in a state of suspended animation. Your bodily functions cease and you do not age, however I have heard that your hair and fingernails continue to grow for a while…" Kryten explained.
"What are you getting at, Eraser-Face?" asked the Cat.
"I propose that you and Mr. Lister should go into deep sleep until we can relocate Red Dwarf or find some other way of sustaining ourselves. Unless we find some way of getting food, water, and oxygen, you will expire in a matter of months! Mr. Rimmer and I will stay and run Starbug and then awaken you when it is safe to do so," said Kryten.
"Well, I've already been frozen for 3 million years. I suppose it wouldn't hurt to do it again," shrugged Lister.
"Not so fast, Monkey-Boy," said Cat. "How long would we have to be in deep sleep?"
"It's hard to tell," said Kryten. "Judging by the vast emptiness of the space surrounding us for light-years in all directions, it could be 200 years!"
"200 years!" yowled Cat. "Everyone needs their beauty sleep but not for that long! All of my clothes will be out of style!"
"200 years is nothing compared to what I went through," pointed out Lister. "You'd be surprised at how fast the time passes. And it's not like we really have any alternative is it?"
"I suppose you're right," said Cat. "I don't think I could pull off the starved to death and oxygen deprived look."
"Well, I guess that's settled then, I'll prepare the deep sleep chambers," said Kryten, about to leave the room.
"Wait a minute," said Rimmer. "So they're just going to go to sleep for god knows how long and I have to stay here with no one but a glorified vacuum cleaner as company?"
"Well… yes, if you want to look at it that way," replied Kryten.
"Well that hardly seems fair!" argued Rimmer. "Why do I have to stay on while they just get to sleep right through the boring part? What do you need me for anyways? I'm a hologram, I can't do anything!"
"Well, sir, you could keep me company," said Kryten.
"You want me, of all people, to keep you company? Aren't you afraid I'll bore you to death?" asked Rimmer.
"He's got a point, Kryten," said Lister with a joking smile. "Just think of it, hundreds of years alone in deep space with nothing to do expect listen to the detailed stories of every time Rimmer played Risk."
"Yeah! You'd probably rip your ears out after the first day! I know I would!" cried Cat.
The mechanoid frowned at the thought. "I suppose I never really thought about that."
"I don't want to be stuck all alone here with you any more than you want to be stuck with me! I'd go absolutely mad! I demand to be turned off!" snapped Rimmer.
"Very well then, sir, if it's what you really want, I'll turn you off and then turn you back on again when I awaken Mr. Lister and Mr. Cat."
"Just make sure you turn me back on," ordered Rimmer.
"Of course, sir," said Kryten. He knew he had to obey Mr. Rimmer's orders, even though part of him wished he could just leave him turned off forever. "Come along, sirs. Every moment we're wasting precious oxygen." With that, he led the way towards the deep sleep chambers. Cat followed without so much as a backwards glance at Rimmer, but Lister wasn't that cold-hearted. Even a smeghead like Rimmer deserved a proper good-bye.
"Well," sighed Lister. "I guess this is it. I'll see you in a couple hundred years, Rimmer."
"Yes, um, don't let the bed bugs bite," replied Rimmer awkwardly. He never knew how he should act when Lister got all serous on him like that. He knew how to throw back snide remarks and joking insults but he never knew how to respond to anything with any sincerity behind it. His heart raced, his palms got sweaty, and he could never say what he really wanted to say.
Lister just laughed his endearing laugh and smiled his charming smile as he walked away. "You too, smeghead."
As soon as he was alone, Rimmer sunk down into one of the chairs and ran his hands over his face, thinking of all of the things he wished he had the courage to say. His stomach flipped as he imagined all of the things he would tell Lister if he wasn't such a smegging coward.
It wasn't really that he didn't want to spend two hundred years alone with Kryten. The real reason he wanted to be turned off was that he couldn't bear the thought of spending two hundred years without Lister.