Heh, Killua

Pairings: the slowest burn ever Killua/Gon, Kurapika/Leorio

WARNING: this fic is dark. It deals with CSA. Reader discretion is advised.

I have been very liberal with the canon timeline. In my world, Gon and Killua left for the hunter exam at eleven and have been almost three years together. Also, Kurapica and Leorio are older than canon. This story takes place after Greed Island. It starts after Gon and Killua get the chance to spend one month with Kaito studying new species. The Chimera Ant Arc has not yet happened. I began this a long time ago. Had I arrived at the Chimera Ant Arc when I began this I would have definitely included it!

Summary: What is your limit Killua? What can someone like... him expect from life? He hadn't had to worry about those answers -not anymore- from the day a black-haired boy stumbled in his way. Once long gone he had nothing to lose, now he'd do anything to protect him. Even if his past returns...to push him to the limit. Killua/Gon. Minor Kurapica/Leorio in advanced chapters.

CHAPTER 1: THE MISSION

We could rule the world on a silver platter
From the wrong to the right light, to an open stream
With a crash and burn, we can make it better
Turn it upside down, just you and me

We are the dream, no other way to be

We are young! We are strong!
We're not looking for where we belong
We're not cool! We are free!
And we're running with blood on our knees

Mika-We are Young

Two bright faces stared at Netero with wide eyes.

The white-haired boy was taller than his raven companion.

Netero observed them, a fluttering thrill making him feel somewhere in his chest his old heart. A scene delightful to watch, it was.

His eyes had seen the rise and fall of empires. Heroes and spirits were born and bred and spun their legend, never one like the other. Too many of these friends hadn't lived on but in his heart. Joy and woe throughout a life that had been longer than any mortal had ever been granted could have suffocated the childlike wonder he still nestled somewhere inside. For even Netero had once been a child. And as such, he knew loss, all too well. That said, he had not lost his ability to discern whenever he was in front of something wholly new, something not yet written. Right now, for instance, he wondered at the hidden poetry that gathered such opposites, that gave to his grasp on friendship an entire new golden lustre. It made him remember what it was like to observe the world from a child's eyes.

"You may sit down."

The youngsters did not sit, expectant. Netero proceeded to feign a serious expression.

"You have been summoned here… for reasons that ought to be celebrated." As he spoke, he took careful note of their expression. Both kids were wide-eyed, yes, yes. But one radiated anticipation, while the other was pretending to act indifferent. One was already readying himself to catch any possible challenge that could be dangled to his face like a candy. The other was imperceptibly covering both of their backs, angling himself to cover the door behind them.

"... Since the motive of our meeting is celebratory, I ordered suitable beverages. Have you ever tried champagne?"

Netero presented a tray with flute glasses filled with clear sizzling liquid. "You are young though mmm. I am a bit old-school they tell me, but it is a special day, isn't it? Would you like to try—"

The raven had already taken the glass from the table far too curious for his speech to finish. He sniffed it and dipped in a finger to taste the liquid. The boy had probably never had the luxury hear the name of such a beverage.

The paler child had looked at the tray with catlike eyes, unimpressed expression, and definitely some hidden amusement as if champagne was known and welcome… Considering his past profession, the boy had probably enjoyed the taste in the company of special élites and dark festive gatherings, some of which Netero might have attended as well. Looking sideways at Gon, he was now sipping the drink quietly, having already checked by smell and taste that it wasn't poisoned.

Such a difference.

Both boys were looking at Netero with curious, huge eyes, caramel and violet-blue, round and almond-shaped. They elicited in the old man a low grumble that turned to a cough. The boys immediately caught their poorly concealed laughter, and almost simultaneously, asked

"What is it?"

They looked at each other, searching for the source of the laughter on the one next to them. Then their eyes travelled back to the old president face. Probably wondering why this old geezer was laughing.

Gon was also wondering why they always spoke at the same time.

Killua cleared his throat. "Old man, if you don't begin soon, I'll serve myself more than my share before you notice" He pointed smoothly to the rest of champagne on Netero's desk. "We are kids, and that shouldn't happen under your care."

Renowned hunters, Killua thought with an inward eye-roll. Particularly OLD renowned hunters, you got to wonder which one was crazier than the other.

A tremulous voice interrupted them disturbingly close.

"How dare you act like that in front of Netero-sama?"

The short phlegmatic assistant had led and introduced the children to the president earlier that evening, having lectured them on etiquette for half an hour before the meeting. He continued his annoyed claim "You... you don't speak without his permission. You should say 'What is it, President Netero, or 'What is the cause of your laughter, Your Excellence Mr Netero'. And you should thank him for the champagne before drinking it, and of course, wait for his cue. Weren't you paying attention?"

Netero, with an ample smile, waved his hand to silence his agitated assistant.

"Oh, leave them be, they are adorable and quite amusing. And so small" The immediate protest in the pout of Gon and shock and offence in Killua's death glare was spring balm to his soul.

"You are strange" Killua murmured

"He is! Isn't he?" Gon whispered to him excitedly.

The short being was about to protest again, but it only took a signal from Netero's eyebrow to apparently let him know he was expected to take his leave. The assistant sighed deeply, bowed three times in respect and left, still fumbling about the incident.

Netero beheld them.

"Young hunters, you must be wondering what is the cause of our celebration" He paused. "You, youngsters, are being assigned your first private mission. As in, your first Hunter Association mission. Considering your age, this is an enormous achievement, and therefore I congratulate you on the nomination. It is now up to you to accept my offer" The old man eyes glinted, as he observed them attentively.

A light sparked within Killua's eyes for the first time in the conversation. It was not because of Netero's praise; Killua had been praised many times before. It wasn't because they were assigned a mission, for he cared not where he was going, as long as it involved these things he'd learned to call adventures by his friend's side. However, the moment the offer was uttered, he was undeniable sure Gon would love whatever Netero planned for them to do, that Gon would love to be given a mission. That somehow made him infinitely happy.

Netero could also immediately see Gon imagining all sort of epic fights and monsters and adventurous scenarios. So Netero added, patting the raven boy's head, "Don't get ahead of yourselves. This is a reasonably simple mission. Actually, one of the simplest I've given as a chairman." He could see both faces dropping in disappointment. The old man chuckled.

"However, I must inform you that you are indeed the youngest hunters to get assigned a Hunter Association mission in 120 years. I have never met anyone to such potential and talent in such a short span of life... Twelve years of age if I'm not mistaken?" He gazed at them "You are unique. It is my duty to inform you so. Let's cheer to this."

Netero raised his glass, and affected surprise when he saw that both kids had drunk the champagne from their glasses long ago. They had nothing to cheer up with and looked doubtful about what to do next.

"Did you like the champagne?"

"No," both boys replied in unavoidable synchronization.

Netero had already considered this as he smiled, regretting his own fondness while taking a pitcher of cranberry juice he had under his desk. He filled their cups and raised his glass. "Cheers."

"Cheers!" Gon chirped

"Cheers," Killua said, successfully hiding the fact he was almost as excited as his younger friend.

"Your mission falls in the animal hunting category. I have received excellent recommendations regarding your abilities in this field, by some quite important names. This assignment will be extensive; Accordingly, you will be provided two full years to complete it. You will receive a map with different locations to be studied and be given all the facilities and financial aid to travel to these places."

That sounded suspiciously nice. Gon looked up humbled, unsure if he deserved this. Killua looked distrustful.

"Your work will be to sample all the rare species that you find within these locations. We are only interested in new species, so you will be given a special camera to record them, like the ones that I believe a fine young hunter named Kaito presented to you not so long ago."

Killua watched him open a drawer on the side of his desk. Gon grabbed one of the shiny black cameras inside, leaving Killua to take the other, satisfaction etched on their expressions at their new toys.

"Nature...it is the embodiment of unending change and surprise, isn't it?... Humans worldwide have registered more than one point six million species" He took delight in the sparkle in both the boys' eyes as they examined the black devices.

"Even though that is quite a number of species, specialists believe there are many, many more yet to be discovered. They estimate that the number of hidden species exceeds—"

"They exceed the 10 million" Gon interrupted out of the blue, eyes bright, almost out of breath. Killua stared at Gon with fond wonder.

"You are correct. You're interested?"

"Yes!" Gon claimed before Netero was finished. "Yes, Mr Netero, Mr President Netero!" He tried to mend, his pitch still a notch too high.

"And you youngster? Are you interested?" Netero asked Killua from the corner of his eyes. Those amethyst eyes looked up.

"Is there payment?" He asked cheekily, raising an eyebrow. But then he frowned. It had sounded too Zoldick-ish.

"We will finance all the expenses for your trips, including food, travelling and accommodation. Accomplishing a hunter committee assigned mission is also in itself a reward since it will help you progress in your ranking as hunters" Netero observed.

Killua looked at Gon.

"I'll do as he does," he shrugged coolly.

Netero could tell that the older boy was actually pleased as well, only pretending safe nonchalance. The old man chuckled and ruffled his hair.

The boy went completely stiff under his touch, and the look on his face almost froze Netero in place. It would have frozen him probably if he hadn't encountered and gotten used to stares of the like when wandering the darker corners of the hunter world. But then the boy's grimace softened. His gaze though dark turned gentler, now only conveying something in the lines of we're-not-children.

Netero took his hand back carefully, also feigning nonchalance. He fetched for the world map and unfolded it as if nothing.

"The locations are the ones pointed in red dots. You should first look for species in west Yoruba around the selected regions." He held up the map. "Then you'll go to an isolated chain of islands in the Big Flat Ocean on a special seven-decker cruise." Netero did think it a bit extravagant for two children, but what was the point of being a venerable hunter without being able to throw around a little money now and again? And he liked spoiling his children.

"And finally, I have a surprise for the two of you. Whale Island and Kukulu Mountain are classified as the two of the least-studied ecosystems in the world. You'll get to study wildlife from your homelands."

Netero appreciated for a moment how Gon's face glowed at the thought of going to Whale Island before taking in the second part of the information. Maybe, maybe he had set this as a trap, even if he had uttered no lie. Perhaps he was just a curious old man, always keen on analysing personas. Killua had nothing much to offer this time around, he stared at the map with cold, impassive eyes. The friendliness that had softened his boyish features had disappeared, as he sipped his cranberry juice in calculation.

Netero was about to speak- For a crazy second, he thought he read the possibility the boy was brooding darker matters- Killua seemed to take the information in stride as if a known punishment he had been waiting to be imparted had finally arrived- but Gon interjected before any of these observations lasted a second in Netero's mind.

"Netero-san, if we have a problem with visiting some of the locations, what should we do?" Gon set down his glass and looked directly at the chairman. Killua was effectively derailed, a second of surprise as he observed Gon before his bangs hid his eyes.

"All these locations are subject to modification, of course. Should there be any problems, we can redirect our quest..."

Netero turned with a benevolent smile to open the window behind him, as he felt the chirping of a bird outside

"But I should add, true and seasoned hunters will all tell you they only learned from experience how to be ready to face all sorts of adventures. And hunters are ready to face them all, even the hardest and the deadliest. We serve the world and humankind. It would be a pity if you had a problem" Netero observed the cloudless sky. He knew very well he had to push them a little.

The old hunter looked back at them, adopting the cheerful semi-senility he always displayed to his fellow Hunters quite easily. "But you are kids, after all; if you are that afraid of the storms around the Big Flat Ocean, you need only to inform me, and I'll send you somewhere else." His old hands were clasped "For the moment, I suggest you analyse the feasibility each location when the time arrives" he tilted his head.

Netero could perceive the smallest spark of anger in Gon's eyes. He could almost sense the cold radiating from Killua's chest, from the way he casually rubbed it with the heel of his palm. It was a saddening gaze. He hoped his advice would be taken wisely. Zeno was a friend of his, quite close, but that was as far as he would intervene. He knew there were many things he was only partial when it came to his closest friend on earth…let alone his family.

"Because you have been assigned an extensive mission, you do not have to work all days of the month, or even all months. You only need to have the assignment complete within two years."

Killua and Gon nodded slowly. This time not synchronized. But they did answer together. "We will."

"Please know that whatever trouble you run into; you can count on me. In whatever way you may need."

Netero observed them. As if looking through gossamer, a flashback of when he was just a kid himself crossed his mind. The many adventures and troubles and fun and helplessness and knowledge he'd' ran into… In what kind of adventures would these two rare children stumble upon?

"Do not forget this. You can count on the Hunter Association. I give you my word" He opened his smile benignly. He meant it.

"I wish you luck in your travels." He winked at them, his tone of voice warm. He gestured the door to let them know their meeting was over.

The two boys managed to evade the assistant on their way out and went quietly for a while in pensive silence. Gon eyed Killua. But this one stared ahead decisively.

Suddenly the pale boy broke the silence. "Gon?"

"Yes?"

Killua looked at him. "Let's do this."

There was a fire on his eyes. They reflected the one alight on Gon himself.

"Hai" Gon smiled and stared ahead.