Yes, I know I keep adding to this. I said it was a one-shot, then I added a second part and said that there wouldn't be anymore, and yet…

Here we are. What can I say? Code Geass is asking for it. It's one of the gayest animes ever – and that's saying a lot. Discounting true yaoi and shonen-ai, even "normal" series like Death Note, Neon Genesis Evangelion and Mobile Suit Gundam Wing all have decidedly homoerotic undertones… So Code Geass is therefore impressively gay, right? :)

I'll say. You know someone is your bitch for life if they will wear without complaint a horrible see-though-shouldered "knight" outfit (and also don't laugh at your ridiculous hat).

I REALLY don't intend to make this any longer following this chapter – hence I have trapped myself by entitling this the finale.

Very kindly and thoroughly betaed by AutumnDynasty, for whom the first two parts of this fic were actually written. Ha, I made you work for it this time, dear… :D

Survive: Finale

(It wasn't a suggestion, Suzaku; it was an order.)

"What of it?" he'd said. It hadn't really been a question, because he hadn't expected Suzaku to answer. What answer could he have given? Euphemia, after all, had been only the first of the many casualties of this war. There had been others.

Shirley. Rollo. Nunally. Lelouch had, in one way or another, been responsible for their deaths too.

Suzaku hadn't said anything. They'd stood there, the nonexistent echo of Lelouch's words bouncing back and forwards between them. The three of them.

Lelouch. Suzaku. CC.

That was ironic. Here, she stood between them – the topmost point of the rough triangle they made up. She knew of what they'd shared. She'd predicted it. She'd watched them as children – as friends. She'd watched them that night, wrapped in each other's arms, at the door to Lelouch's Ashford room – as more than friends. The Geass she'd given to Lelouch had created that. The warped effect of that order he'd given had brought them together.

In a way, CC had pushed them together. She, with a Geass that caused all others to love her, had made them realise that they loved each other.

That was ironic. She seemed to know that. She looked now at Lelouch, her amber eyes glinting impassively.

"What of it?" they said. "What will you do now? The choice is yours, as you have won. …He is yours, if you choose to make him so."

Lelouch turned and began to walk away.

"Let's go," he said.

It wasn't a suggestion. It was an order. Whether or not either of them followed that order was dependent entirely on either their loyalty or their love. The former for one and the latter for the other.

CC, in accordance with the former, wordlessly followed.

And, after a moment, so did Suzaku Kururugi.

"I'm going to take over as emperor," Lelouch said casually, later that night.

CC, busy pulling on her old flowing white garb – the first thing he'd ever seen her in – paused.

"I suppose that's best," she agreed, and she put her hands under her hair to tug it out from inside her clothing, shaking it loose down her slender back. "With the Black Knights still active and possibilities of rebellion from Britannian forces, it will be in your interest to be protected by laws."

"The laws that I'll make, you mean." Lelouch smiled icily. "And so anybody who disagrees with me and puts that disagreement into action will therefore be guilty of treason."

CC gave a blasé nod and, after checking her clothing in the mirror, drifted silently out of the room. He shouldn't have been surprised. After regaining her memories, she'd simply gone back to her usual mannerisms: Civil enough to him, and willing to help him scheme from time to time, but largely uninterested in having a real conversation with him.

Which left Lelouch with Suzaku. The other boy was across the room, sitting at the window ledge, looking out at the marbled night sky with his forehead pressed to the cool glass. He appeared to be completely spaced out, and probably hadn't even heard Lelouch's announcement that he was going to take over the throne from his recently-deceased father.

After a very long moment of silence, Lelouch finally spoke:

"You didn't have to come with me, you know."

Suzaku finally raised his head, glancing at him. He opened his mouth, but obviously had nothing to say to that, for he closed it again and simply shrugged.

"So Rollo is dead?" he eventually asked offishly.

Lelouch gave a nod.

"He exerted himself using his Geass. In the end, his heart simply gave out."

"You didn't stop him?"

"He… he wouldn't listen to me."

"That's strange," Suzaku observed quietly. "Usually you're very good at making people listen to you and do whatever you say…"

Lelouch clenched his fists.

"And did you hear about Nunally?" he asked coldly. "She was killed by FREYA."

Suzaku froze up, his jade eyes widening.

"…FREYA?" he repeated faintly.

"That despicable weapon the Britannians fired." Lelouch folded himself into a sitting position on the window ledge next to Suzaku. "Forget it," he said, his voice suddenly very distant. "Just forget I mentioned it. I wanted to ask you something, Suzaku."

"What is it?" Suzaku inquired by way of reply, averting his gaze back to the view beyond the window so that he didn't have to look at his friend (the brother of the girl – amongst thousands – he'd murdered).

"Did you hear me say to CC that I will be taking over as emperor?"

Suzaku frowned but still didn't look at him.

"Can you… even do that, Lelouch?"

"Of course. I'm in line for the throne, and I think Schneizel is hardly fit for the position, personally… And I get priority over Princess Cornelia, even though she's older than me, because of my gender."

Suzaku finally looked at him, his green eyes hard and dissecting.

"And what will you do with that kind of power, Lelouch?" he asked.

"Continue to change the world, of course." Lelouch smiled at him. "This world that we chose to live in, Suzaku – because we accept reality."

Suzaku averted his eyes once again.

"And what do you want of me?"

"I want you to be my knight."

Suzaku's head snapped up abruptly.

"I…" He trailed off, staring at Lelouch even as the words failed him. "I… No. No, Lelouch. I can't. I can't be your knight."

Lelouch frowned.

"Of course you can, Suzaku," he said, sounding puzzled. "You were a Knight of Rounds, and before that you were Euphemia's personal knight. Of course you can be mine—"

"No! No, I can't." Suzaku had even begun to edge away from the dark-haired boy now. "I'm not talking about… about ranks, or… it's just, I just can't be your knight, Lelouch…"

"Why?" Lelouch snapped irritably. "Because I'm Zero? Is that it, Suzaku?" He seized the other boy by his wrist. "Forget about Zero, okay? Forget about the Black Knights, forget about Britannia, forget about Euphy for one damned second, will you?!"

"I'm not thinking about those things!" Suzaku spat back. "Because this isn't about any of those things! This is about me and you, Lelouch."

"Yes, it is, and that's why I'm asking you. You, Suzaku Kururugi – because you're my friend, and you've been my friend for years, and I trust you, and I…"

"You what?" Suzaku pressed coldly the moment Lelouch trailed off; snatching his wrist free.

"Why can't you just do this one thing for me, Suzaku?" Lelouch bit out, avoiding the question.

Suzaku's eyes flashed dangerously.

"You speak as though I have never once done anything for you. But… we both know that isn't true. Don't we?"

"I—"

"In fact, the whole reason I'm even alive right now is because of you. For you."

Lelouch looked at him coldly.

"You sound as though you feel that I have cursed you – when all I did, Suzaku, was stop you from throwing your life away for no reason whatsoever—"

"You have cursed me!" Suzaku hissed savagely. "Do you even realise…? That order you gave me all that time ago… I…"

"What, Suzaku?" Lelouch asked, both his tone and expression softening as Suzaku buried his head in his hands as though he was sliding into the depths of despair even as they sat there.

The dark-haired boy reached for his friend, gently placing his hands on his shoulders; feeling him shudder beneath his touch.

"Suzaku," Lelouch said again, his voice quiet and desperate. "Look at me. Please look at me."

Suzaku did raise his eyes towards him, and for another long moment, there was silence between them – silence, and an understanding, or a memory of an understanding they'd formed all that time ago, that night…

Maybe Lelouch was hoping that the kiss would make Suzaku see the error of his decision, that he was wrong to refuse to be at Lelouch's side always. Maybe Suzaku was hoping that it would numb the pain for those few moments, that it would divert Lelouch's attention away from his refusal to be his knight. Regardless, they seemed to silently and telepathically agree that to kiss should be their next move, so they slowly drew closer together and Lelouch tilted his head a little to one side, still with his hands on Suzaku's broad shoulders, and Suzaku's own hands slid downwards to Lelouch's waist, and just as their mouths were about to meet, Suzaku glanced upwards at the other boy and he caught the violet glint of Lelouch's barely-open eyes—

But they weren't really violet anymore, were they? They were crimson – both of them, Suzaku had seen Lelouch's right eye also fall victim to Geass, it had happened right in front of him—

"Get away from me!" Suzaku cried, suddenly thoroughly panicked by Lelouch's proximity; he slammed his palms into the dark-haired boy's chest, shoving him backwards with all of his considerable strength. He knocked Lelouch off the window ledge, sending him to the floor.

"Suzaku!" Lelouch snapped, sitting up; both startled and annoyed by this sudden outburst. He raised himself to his knees, beginning to reach for his friend.

"Don't touch me!" Suzaku screeched, scrambling backwards out of his range. "I don't want your damned Geass… anywhere near me!"

Lelouch heaved himself up, his eyes narrowed.

"Stop being an idiot!" he snapped, advancing on him even as Suzaku shrank back. "The fact that both of my eyes now have Geass doesn't change the fact that I've already used it once on you! I can't use it on you again—"

"It's the first time you used it that has ruined me!" Suzaku yelled at him. "Do you even fucking realise what you've done to me, Lelouch?!"

"Yes, I stopped you from killing yourself…!" Lelouch gave an angry sigh. "And I'm sorry if I went against your wishes – but your wishes were selfish! You can't just throw your life away needlessly when there are people who love you! …How badly did you want to hurt me?"

"How can you defend that horrible power?" Suzaku hissed, ignoring Lelouch's question. "It's evil, Lelouch – the power to bend other people's wills to your own? Why can't you see that a power like that is evil?"

"Evil? You think it's evil?" Lelouch gave a sudden haughty smile, pausing to take out first one contact lens, and then the other – to look upon his oldest, most precious friend with a gaze that glowed like the most brilliant of rubies. "I have brought to an end the Britannian occupation of Japan, freed the Japanese people – your people – from their rule, and stopped the plans of my father and mother… and I could do it only through this power that you call "evil", Suzaku."

Suzaku met that gaze – those eyes of ruby with his own of emerald – and was too transfixed by them to respond; but when Lelouch stepped closer to him again, after he'd warned him to keep his Geass away, something inside Suzaku Kururugi snapped.

(again)

His hands were already wrapped around Lelouch's slender neck as they hit the floor, Suzaku astride the other boy, pinning him to the carpet with his weight. Lelouch had no hope of getting him off, his struggles with Suzaku's wrists as the former Knight of Britannia began to strangle the life out of him like a mosquito bite to an elephant.

"FREYA," Suzaku got out between gritted teeth, crushing Lelouch's throat and satisfied that he'd closed his eyes so that he didn't have to look at them, Geass-inflicted as they were. "Do you understand, Lelouch?! FREYA! I fired it! I killed all those people! I killed Nunally! And do you know why?! I wasn't going to fire it, and then… it became apparent that if I didn't fire it, I was going to be killed, and although my life would have been a small price to pay in return for the saved lives of all those civilians… the order you gave me took over my will, and I fired it to preserve myself." Suzaku tightened his grip further, feeling Lelouch falling limp beneath him as he neared unconsciousness. "Do you get it, Lelouch?! You forced me to fire it! All those people were killed because you ordered me to survive!"

Suzaku abruptly let go of Lelouch's neck, panting heavily. The dark-haired boy coughed as air flooded back into his lungs, brought back from the brink of passing out by the suddenness of it; he twisted his body underneath Suzaku, resting his forehead on the carpet as he continued to gasp and splutter.

Suzaku was neither sorry nor satisfied that he'd attempted to choke him, and it didn't make him feel any better or any worse. He wordlessly got off him, and as he removed his weight, Lelouch curled up, breathing laboriously.

Suzaku headed for the door, thinking it was probably better for him to leave for now. No doubt Lelouch now wanted Suzaku near him even less than Suzaku wanted Lelouch.

"Suzaku," Lelouch coughed as Suzaku got to the threshold.

"What?" Suzaku asked tersely, glancing back over his shoulder; Lelouch was kneeling up now, his back to him.

"Be… my knight," Lelouch said softly. "Please."

Suzaku faltered.

"No," he replied finally. Firmly. And as, he left, added; "I can't."

They'd largely avoided each other since then. Suzaku felt that he should apologise but couldn't bring himself to say the words – and maybe Lelouch would expect him to agree to be his knight by way of apology.

Lelouch himself, perhaps, was simply keeping away from him so that he wouldn't be strangled again.

There was still a stressed pact of silence between them when they eventually moved, over a week later, to the palace of the Vi Britannia bloodline, in accordance with Lelouch's promise to take his father's place as emperor. CC undoubtedly sensed but ignored the presence of their spat, making herself quite at home almost immediately.

But of course, this had been CC's home once – with Charles and Marianne and VV.

It had been Lelouch's home too, so he seemed to settle in well – perhaps it was merely a show, but whether it was or wasn't, he surely couldn't have been as uncomfortable here as Suzaku. Even as a Knight of Rounds, he had never truly been comfortable between these walls.

He'd brought Lelouch before his own father, forcing his face into the floor of the throne room of this very palace, keeping his eye covered, but even then he'd shuddered inwardly with abhorrence of these walls – and of the man before them. He'd hated Lelouch's father as much as Lelouch himself had.

The second day they were there, Suzaku happened upon Lelouch in that very same throne room – sitting in the throne itself. His slender hands grasped the ornate wooden arms and his dark head was bowed, his fine hair all falling forward to obscure his face.

Suzaku silently entered the room, closing the door gently behind him. Lelouch didn't hear him, keeping his head low even as the brunette walked up the length of the throne room, stopping before the steps ascending to the throne in which he sat, lost in his own thoughts.

Suzaku bowed to him; lowering his own head and descending onto one knee before him.

Lelouch sensed this movement, probably because Suzaku was now so close to him – or maybe he'd just been pretending that he hadn't noticed him before. Either way, his head jerked up and he glared at Suzaku.

"Stand up!" he snapped immediately.

Suzaku did so, slowly rising and meeting Lelouch's eyes – violet again, tinted so by his contact lenses.

"Are you mocking me?" Lelouch demanded, his voice low and furious.

"Of course not," Suzaku replied levelly.

It wasn't a lie – but it also wasn't the truth, because Suzaku didn't really know himself. Maybe it was simply because he'd been Lelouch's friend since they were little, because he knew his weaknesses and failings better than anyone, but he found it very difficult to accept him as an emperor.

Regardless, over a week later, the bruises on Lelouch's pale throat were still very dark.

Lelouch was the one to break the ice. Usually so meticulous in his dealings with other people, Suzaku had finally annoyed him to the point where he banged on his door at one in the morning, demanding that he let him in.

Suzaku took a while to answer the door – probably he'd been thinking to ignore it, but Lelouch wasn't taking no for an answer. When he did, he was still dressed – evidence that he hadn't yet gone to bed.

"What do you want?" he asked irritably, blocking the doorway with his body so that Lelouch couldn't force his way in.

"I want to talk to you. Let me in."

"No. We can talk tomorrow." Suzaku had already begun to close the door.

"Now, Suzaku!" Lelouch demanded.

Suzaku angrily swung the door fully open again, almost hitting Lelouch in the face with it.

"What the hell makes you think you have the right to give me orders?!" he seethed. "Whether it's with Geass or not, I do not have to do what you say, Lelouch!"

"I'm only phrasing this as an order because you're being so difficult!" Lelouch snapped back. "If you won't even talk to me, then I don't know why you're here!"

"Neither do I! I hate it here!"

Lelouch was stunned into silence by that.

"Suzaku," he said finally and quietly, "talk to me. Please. If you won't let me in then come with me."

Suzaku hesitated for a long moment, and he thought about simply slamming the door in Lelouch's face; but eventually he stepped out of the room and calmly closed the door behind him. Lelouch gave him a small smile which he didn't return; only followed him wordlessly down the dark corridor.

CC watched them go, her arms folded. Their relationship amused her greatly, mostly because she didn't really understand it.

Even more amusing was the fact that she was certain that neither of them really understood it, either.

—

If Suzaku was impressed by the size and décor of Lelouch's room (more of a whole suite, really), he didn't show it. The room that Lelouch had given him had been sizable itself, certainly, and not without its luxurious touches, but this was the largest room in the place. Lelouch had taken it for himself because he knew Suzaku wouldn't have accepted it anyway and CC had simply made for the room that had once been hers.

The brunette's gaze did fall, however, upon the ornate white robes hanging from the wardrobe door. He went over to them, lifting one of the sleeves as Lelouch shut the bedroom door.

"I… found them in the wardrobe," Lelouch said, almost defensively.

"Emperor's robes," Suzaku said absently.

"Yes."

"Are you going to wear them?"

"I'll be expected to, once I've taken the position."

Suzaku finally turned to him.

"You're… you really are serious about this, aren't you?" he stated rather than asked, his voice quiet.

Lelouch gave a shrug.

"I don't think I have a choice, Suzaku. I have a right to the throne, and if I don't take it, Schneizel will."

Suzaku didn't reply.

"Why won't you be my knight?" Lelouch asked, flinging the question at him out of nowhere; hoping to startle him into an honest answer.

"Don't start this again, Lelouch—"

"Just give me an answer. You say that you can't, but that explains nothing."

"Because of FREYA!" Suzaku cried. "Do you not understand, Lelouch? I alone am responsible for the deaths of all the people FREYA killed, because I fired it to save myself – and because of the Geass you put on me! I can't forgive you, and no-one should forgive me."

"Suzaku, the blame for that weapon lies with Britannia," Lelouch replied firmly. "With whoever created it. If it had not been built, then you could not have fired it. Whatever happens now regarding FREYA… it is not your fault."

Suzaku looked at him helplessly.

"How can you be so mercenary about it?" he asked softly.

"Because nothing can be done now. Suzaku, I wish that you hadn't fired it. All those people – Nunally included – lost their lives for no reason. It was nothing but a pointless, desperate measure on Britannia's part. But the damage is done, and no matter how painful that damage is, it cannot be undone. Remember that we chose the future, Suzaku. My parents offered a false world and we refused it, despite the pain that false world would have relieved."

Suzaku turned away, grasping his own elbows.

"Why does everyone treat me with such kindness, despite all the horrible things I've done?" he whispered, more to himself.

"This is why I put the Geass on you to begin with," was Lelouch's brusque answer to that, even though Suzaku hadn't really been addressing him. "Because you think you're worthless. Because you think people should hate you. Because, Suzaku, you think yourself not even worthy to be alive." The dark-haired boy gave sad little sigh. "…I'm sorry for all the pain it's caused you," he went on, his voice quieter. "I'm sorry that I forced you to obey my wishes. I wish that I had never had to use it on you, but I… it was all I could think of to do. I didn't want you to die. I… couldn't bear the thought of you… just not being there anymore." Lelouch suddenly grabbed desperately at Suzaku's arm. "How could you do that to me? You're my best friend, I didn't want to lose you – how could you be so fucking selfish, Suzaku?!"

Suzaku turned back to him wordlessly. Lelouch was now smiling at him – an odd, sad smile, and there were tears in his eyes.

"I'm so glad you're not dead," he murmured. "Don't you understand? I'm so happy… that you're still alive, Suzaku, because you're all I have left now. Nunally's gone. You're all I have."

"Nunally is dead because of me," Suzaku said bitterly.

"But I forgive you." Lelouch gave a small shake of his head. "And I don't blame you. It wasn't your fault." He grasped Suzaku's shoulders again (as he had almost two weeks ago now). "You're the only one who doesn't understand that," he pressed. "You don't seem to understand any of it. I need you. That's why I ordered you to survive – to live on, for me, because I needed you then, and I need you now, more than ever. More than anything."

They were embracing then. Clinging to each other tightly, wrapped in one another's arms, as though trying to become one. Even to both of them, it wasn't clear who had made the first move, who had taken who into their arms to begin with. It didn't matter.

What mattered was that they knew it was over. The war between the Britannians and the Black Knights was over. They were no longer at odds, with a battlefield between them. They were no longer a Britannian and an Eleven.

Simply Lelouch Lamperouge and Suzaku Kururugi.

Lelouch kissed him, then squirmed out of his grip and pulled him over towards the bed, leading him up the steps of the raised part of floor on which the king-sized four-poster rested. He collapsed onto it backwards, pulling Suzaku down with him; the brunette boy landed on top of him, recapturing his mouth as he felt Lelouch's hands beneath him, hunting for his belt. He preoccupied his own hands with Lelouch's collar, slipping the buttons undone and loosening the fabric away from his throat—

The bruises were still there. Fainter, but very much still there.

Suzaku sat back in silence, gazing at them. It must have been agony. He had put almost all of his strength into it. Had Lelouch been afraid? Had he thought that Suzaku really would kill him…?

"I love you," Lelouch said, knowing he was looking at the bruises.

Suzaku raised his jade eyes towards him.

"Don't say things like that," he replied softly. "After I—"

"I do. I do love you." Lelouch reached up for him, eyes almost pleading. "I've hurt you just as much, Suzaku. More so. Maybe you don't have the bruises to show for it, but I've caused you pain too. Let's just agree: No more."

Suzaku hesitated, then finally gave a grim nod.

"Yes," he agreed softly. "No more." He finally leaned down towards the smaller boy again. "…I love you too."

Lelouch smiled up at him.

"I'm so glad," he replied softly.

—

"I love you," Lelouch murmured again when it was over, "…so, so much, Su… Suzaku…"

He said it as Suzaku collapsed next to him under the sheets, panting; he nuzzled against him, and Suzaku wrapped his strong arms around his much more delicate frame, pulling him close to jealously guard every inch of him. His silky dark hair and his pale skin and his eyes, sometimes amethyst, sometimes ruby…

"Mm," Suzaku mumbled contentedly. He rubbed Lelouch's back. "…That was wonderful…"

"You didn't answer… my question, though."

Suzaku frowned, opening his eyes.

"What question?"

"Doesn't matter." Lelouch smiled. "This is the third time… we've—"

"I know." Suzaku wasn't to be so easily distracted. "What was your question? I didn't… hear you ask me anything…"

"I asked… if you would be my knight."

"I didn't hear… I mean, I didn't—"

"I didn't think you would." Lelouch suddenly became very interested in his palm. "It doesn't matter…"

"I will."

Lelouch glanced up at him wordlessly.

"No, I really will, Lelouch. I've… changed my mind. I'll be your knight. You said you needed me, so… I'll protect you." Suzaku grinned at him. "I'll survive for you, so that I can fulfil my duty as your knight."

Lelouch smirked.

"I didn't realise you could be so… easily persuaded, Suzaku Kururugi," he said fondly, his tone a little mocking all the same.

"I suppose someone has to help you up all those steps to the throne," Suzaku replied complacently.

Lelouch gave a haughty snort; then sat up in bed, leaning against the headboard.

"What's the matter?" Suzaku asked, propping himself up on one elbow.

"Nothing." Lelouch looked at him. "…We chose this – this, over a world where there would be no pain. We chose the future, Suzaku. And this… this is that future. And there may be pain, there may be sadness, but…" He smiled at his oldest and very best friend; the boy that he loved, and had always loved. "…We'll be alright, Suzaku. Because we're together, and we can always be together now."

Suzaku nodded.

"Yes, we'll be alright, Lelouch," he replied softly. "You and I… We'll survive."

END

…Aaaaaaand it's over! I know I keep on saying that, but I really mean it this time! I think this time around this really does seem like a proper ending, anyway…

Well, if Sunrise are going to stick in a whole undocumented month, during which Suzaku and Lelouch magically make up, Lelouch becomes Emperor and Suzaku is suddenly his knight, then of course people like me are going to write fics like this. This is why the Death Note section is primarily dominated by LxLight/LightxL Chain Arc fics – because Ohba and Obata chained them together and then had a MASSIVE, UNDETERMINED TIME SKIP to October, where, lo and behold, they were still chained together.

Oh well, at least CC was back this chapter, albeit briefly. I guess I just enjoy putting in her snide observations of Lelouch's extremely-gay-even-in-canon relationship with Suzaku. I sure miss Rollo these days, though…

(Yes, I know Nunally is actually alive. Like we didn't see that coming… Bet she has Geass or something, too.)

Heh, anyway, sorry I keep jerking you all around with this fic. Thanks for reading!

- RobinRocks xXx