Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over the characters, just the demons inside my head that made me post this.
A/N: I know what you're thinking: why is she posting a new story when she hasn't finished the ones she started?! Well, because I actually have four, yes FOUR other Gundam stories waiting in the wings (haha) and so I feel compelled to get them out there and snag some reviews so I can verify whether or not I'm wasting my time trying to finish the story or if I should continue it.
A writer gets paranoid sometimes, ya know?
So please take a look at this and let me know what you think. Good, bad, undecided, I want to hear it all. And to help you decide, I'm posting the first three chapters all at once.
A Part Of Me
Chapter 1
Keen black eyes observed the men sitting around him as he sipped from his glass. They'd been through so much, seen so much death and destruction. Too much for ones so young. But it's over now. We can live our lives according to our own design, not those of the warmongers.
An outburst of laughter caught his attention and he tuned back into the conversation going on around him. Duo was very amused as he looked to Quatre who was blushing but smiling as well. Trowa, ever the reserved one, had the smallest of curves to his lips indicating his own amusement. And the man to his right was as solemn as ever. He's been like this since we got here. It's one thing for him to be serious during a battle, but it's over. He should at least look relaxed. Wufei cleared his throat and put his glass down, looking around once more at his companions before speaking.
"So do any of you have ideas for what you'd like to do now?"
Quatre was the first to speak up.
"I'm going to return home and run the company that my father built. My sisters are very anxious for my return. They say they've been so busy running the company that they haven't been able to find husbands."
"I'm returning to the circus and my sister, Catherine."
Trowa took a sip of his beer, indicating he would not expound further and Wufei inclined his head in response and turned his attention to Duo who looked thoughtful.
"Duo? Any ideas?"
"Well…..I'm a little conflicted. Hilde and I have been talking about combining forces and opening our own business, but…."
Duo dropped his head and his voice as he absentmindedly turned his beer in a circle, creating a wet ring on the table.
"I'd like to open, or least help out at an orphanage."
"There's nothing that says you can't do both."
Duo looked up at Wufei and smiled.
"Yeah, thanks. You're right. Now what about you, 'Fei?"
Wufei shrugged and took another sip of his wine.
"I still feel the need to ensure there is justice in this world or ours. I heard Lady Une has formed an organization. An independent group to help police the people that would destroy our peaceful world."
"So you're gonna be a cop, is the skinny of it."
"No, Duo, I'm not going to be a cop. I am going to be an agent responsible for the safety of earth and the colonies. I'm not going to track down muggers."
Wufei let out a derisive snort and turned to Heero. This man was his main interest right now. It wasn't that he didn't care where and what his friends were doing, but Heero Yuy had always fascinated Wufei and he found he always wanted to know what the man was thinking. And a few times Heero had actually fed that desire and the pair had a personal conversation about themselves and what they were going through. He knew about the little girl and the teddy bear and Heero knew about his wife, Meiran.
Wufei's eyes narrowed as Heero's focus remained on the bottle of beer in his hands. I'm sure he knows everyone is waiting for his response.
"And what about you, Heero?"
The question was gentle and inquisitive, just like the person who asked it and Wufei was thankful that Quatre had spoken up so he wouldn't have to.
Heero looked up and met each one of his companions' gazes, lingering on Wufei for a moment or two before shrugging.
"Don't know."
"C'mon, you must have some idea. Isn't there something you always wanted to do or a place you always wanted to see?"
"Not really."
"Well, you're a very talented and skilled man, Heero. I'm sure you won't have any trouble finding something you enjoy."
Wufei saw the flinch at Quatre's words and now his concern grew deeper. So that's what's been troubling him this whole time. He has no idea what to do now. I suppose that must be very unsettling. His life has been mapped out for him ever since he can remember. He now has the opportunity for complete control over his life.
Heero offered a quiet scoff as he shot Quatre a halfhearted, lopsided smirk. Quatre appeared pleased with the minimal response, whereas Trowa seemed to catch on to Heero's mood and thoughts, his brows furrowing as if in deep thought.
I'll speak with him later tonight after the others leave. Perhaps joining The Preventors and continuing his life as a soldier will give him purpose and a direction.
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After the dinner party had broken up, Wufei had tried to keep track of Heero, but the experienced guerilla soldier managed to disappear right before Wufei's eyes. So Wufei had retreated to his hotel room, making plans to speak with Heero in the morning. I know I shouldn't be so worried about him, but I can't help it.
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The soft, insistent knocking woke Wufei from his recently acquired sleepy state and he sat up on the sofa in his hotel sitting room, rubbing his face. Ugh, I think I drank too much at dinner. I didn't even realize I was falling asleep.
Wufei looked up at the door and frowned, the knocking still continuing its steady rhythm. Who is possibly knocking on my door at this hour? Wufei slowly stood up and approached the door, trying to clear his mind of the sleepy, alcohol enhanced haze as he opened the door.
"Heero?"
"I know what I want."
Wufei just stepped back and gestured for Heero to enter his hotel room. Heero entered and immediately went to sit down on a nearby chair. Wufei closed the door and walked over to him, leaning against the wall worried about his friend's condition. It had been over three hours since dinner broke up according to the clock and Wufei could still feel the influence of all the alcohol he drank at dinner. But Heero really didn't drink and yet…….
"Heero….have you been drinking?"
"I'm sorry for stopping by so late."
Wufei frowned at not having his question answered. He must be drunk.
"It's…..ok."
"I want to be normal. I want to live in an apartment and have a normal job and be just another face on the street. I don't want to be…" Heero held out his hands in front of him and stared at them almost angrily and his voice sounded harsh and cracked a little. "I don't want to be the 'perfect' soldier….somebody's pawn. I don't want to be…..this."
Wufei closed the small distance between them and fell to his knees before Heero while clasping the outstretched hands within his own. I've never seen him unhinged like this. I knew he was troubled about his future but I had no idea it was this deeply rooted.
"I think that sounds like a good plan, Heero."
Heero slowly lifted his head to look at the source of the strong voice to see deep onyx eyes gazing right into him. I wonder…..what does he see? Does he see the killer within? Do I even have a soul anymore?
"But don't dismiss who you are now. I happen to like and respect that person."
Heero sat mesmerized by the intense black eyes and the confident voice. Other than Relena and Duo, I don't think anyone has ever said that to me. And although it made me feel good to hear them say it, when he says it….it feels like the most important thing in the world to me.
Heero slowly pulled his hands free of Wufei's and reached out with skittish, shaky fingertips, pulling back once before finally caressing Wufei's cheek. At the hesitant touch, Wufei's cheeks burned and his heart started pounding. They remained like that for a few uncertain moments before Wufei managed to voice his confusion with a whispered question.
"Heero….what are yo--"
But Wufei's quiet question was cut off by hesitant, warm lips pressed lightly against his own. He was too shocked to do anything other than kneel there and stare. Heero rested his forehead against Wufei's and brought his hands up, running them through Wufei's hair until he reached the nape of his neck, then he just grabbed fistfuls of hair.
"Heero…."
"I…like you too, Wufei."
Heero kissed Wufei again, this time insistently and Wufei couldn't help but respond. He closed his eyes and leaned forward, his hands which had been resting on Heero's knees slid up to his thighs. And Heero's hands, which were tangled in Wufei's hair, unwound themselves and traveled down to find a new resting place at the small of Wufei's back.
As Heero kissed down Wufei's neck, he pushed out of the chair and guided Wufei back and onto the floor, all the while whispering against the warm skin.
"We could….be normal…..together….Wufei."
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Wufei woke up the next morning to a slight headache and an empty bed. After searching his hotel room, Heero's hotel room, and calling all their friends' and Heero's cell phone, he slumped back into the chair Heero had sat in only hours ago and stared up at the ceiling.
Why did you do it, Heero? I thought you…..you said you wanted us to be together. We laid there together and made plans. Was that the alcohol talking? You didn't seem that drunk. I believed you. We….the way you called out my name…even if you'd changed your mind, how could you just leave me like this? You might as well have left me money on the nightstand.
Wufei bent over and hugged himself tightly trying to quell the pain rising from the pit of his stomach.
To be continued……