Loud Silence

Welcome to my epic story—this one is my baby.

If you like Trunks and Pan together, shaken up and with a medieval A/U twist, you've come to the right place! There's also some Goten/Bra and Marron/Uub for your reading pleasure. Many characters are deceased, but we will follow their progress in heaven and see them quite often.

Notes on the story:

Chikyuu: A country on the planet Earth, amassing approximately half the territories. Ruled by the Son family, although only Goten and Pan remain. In order to protect Pan, the Sons have concealed her identity from the world, and she has spent her life masquerading as a boy.

Vegeta: Another country on Earth. Ruled by the Briefs-Vegeta family. Trunks has been raised by his father to be a cold-hearted tyrant. He is angry, disturbed and ruthless.

In this story, saiyans are mighty warriors with superhuman strength, speed, hearing, and etcetera, but their manipulation of ki is limited. They can only fly on the Flying Nimbus.

Sit back, relax, and enjoy!

~PanHopeNvs~

A girl with cropped black hair stood by the window looking out on the Kingdom of Chikyuu blankly. Her dark eyes lifeless and dull, had lost all their sparkle and shine. Her pale face was etched with pain.

In her fingers she clutched tightly onto a small golden pendant on a chain. She had her hand clenched into a fist, and her nails dug painfully into her skin… but no pain could ever compare to the great pain in her heart.

Still, no evidence of tears was visible on her grief-stricken face. She had borne her loss without showing any emotion. She had learned long ago that it was better to not let emotions take over, because then you have the risk of being hurt more.

Not that it didn't hurt her to keep all the emotions locked up deep inside, for that anger and hatred to continued to cloud her judgment. But yet she couldn't cry. Her legs barely supported her as it was, they were weak with the shock of what had just happened to her. But she wouldn't allow herself to be broken. To cry.

She couldn't. To cry was to show weakness, to display vulnerability, and a true warrior never shed tears. Pride was a thing that a warrior valued more than their own life.

"Oh, uncle…" the girl whispered, her voice shaky. She closed her eyes, not able to keep the horrible memory from her mind.

*Flashback*

She knelt by Goten's bedside, her head bowed. She put her trembling hands together in a silent prayer, hoping that by some miracle…

"Pan," said Goten, in a steady voice, "Don't be sad. You knew this was going to happen…"

Pan opened her eyes and there was a great sadness in them, "Goten, Please tell me it isn't true! This can't be happening… I mean…you've suffered worse wounds in battle before, and lived! You can't be dying…you can't!"

"Pan, you know that it's true," said Goten taking her hand into his own. His face was streaked with pain, and with every word he spoke, he winced at the effort, "The physician said that I was bleeding internally…there's nothing that can save me."

"To hell with the bloody doctors!" said Pan desperately, "You're a saiya-jin! You're Son Goten, the King of Chikyuu! You're my uncle…you can't die…"

She bent her head in an attempt to suppress the tears that were building up in her eyes. Goten, managed to sit up in bed and pull his niece up beside him. He hugged her and said softly, "Panny, I'm sorry for leaving you…but, you know I love you. I know that you will make peace between the two countries, it is your destiny."

"No, Goten!" said Pan, burying her face in his shoulder as she held him tightly. Her whole body trembled, "I don't care about destiny! You're the only one I have left! You're like my brother, my best friend, you've taken my father's place since he died, you're my mentor. You're everything to me. When you're gone…"

"Panny! Are those tears in your eyes?" asked Goten, lifting her chin and looking at her surprised, "You are the strongest person I know! You never cried through your mother and father's deaths, or your grandmother and grandfather's deaths…"

"No!" she answered, "I didn't cry because you were there for me! You always comforted me, and told me things to make me feel better...but who's there for me now? No family, no friends…no one…"

"There's Marron."

"She doesn't understand the way you do!" cried Pan, her voice breaking, "She d…doesn't e…even know that I'm a girl…she st…till has a mother and father. You and I have no one but each other…and now…now…"

"Oh, Pan-chan," said Goten, "This has been a hard time for us all hasn't it? We've all lost some one dear to us… I've lost Bra… but now I'm going to see her again…"

"Goten, you're the only one left in the whole world…that I care about this way. My only family… I will be all alone, but…" Pan frowned, "I…I'm being selfish aren't I? I mean… you want to die…you want to be with Bra…but I can't accept that. I can't think of you not being here…Goten! I can't take this! Please don't go!"

"Pan, I'm dying. I can feel it," said Goten, "Please, don't make this difficult…I'm just like my dad, I hate saying goodbye. But before I leave this world I have to do something important."

Pan watched as Goten struggled to move and fished an item out of his pocket. He held it up and it glistened, "Pan, this golden pendant…Your father told me to give it to you. It's pure…as pure as the heart of a Son. I think it's supposed to remind you that there will always be hope…but, it's a mystery, because no one knows it's secret. You must take it and keep it. It's essential in the journey that lies ahead of you."

Pan took the pendant slowly, stared at it, "May I ask, what journey?"

"I would have told you before…but…I couldn't…you are the one who is destined to save Chikyuu," Goten clutched his side in pain, "Pan, listen, another thing…I know that you're the only one left…but don't give up…you can beat the Vegetans all by yourself…"

"How?" asked Pan despairingly, "That's almost impossible! One girl to murder hundreds of men…"

"No! Not murder!" he said shocked, "Pan…it's not revenge you're after, it is peace…You can do it without killing…"

"How?" asked Pan, "They will kill me first if I don't kill them! How am I supposed to do it?"

"It's easy…" said Goten, "You have to soften the heart of the Vegetan King… make him realize that this war is wrong…talk to him…"

"Soften his heat?" asked Pan incredulously, "You want me to soften the heart of selfsame man who caused you to be like this? Goten, sometimes I wonder about your sanity…but I will do as you ask…How am I supposed to get by the guards?"

"Well…" Goten thought for a second, "When I am gone, my brother's Z-sword will belong to you. Just tell them who you are, and if they don't let you through, then FIGHT!"

"The fighting will be the easy part," said Pan, "What do I say to Trunks? How do I reach him?"

"Pan, you will know what's the right thing to d…do…" Goten gasped as a wave of sharp pain shot through his side, "I don't have much time left to live…please Pan, it's my last wish…do it for me…make us proud. I know that you can do this…you're our last hope…you must fulfill your destiny…and someday everything will be all right again…I love you Pan, my dearest niece…be strong…never give up…all of Chikyuu is depending on you…I'm depending on you, to make life in this wretched world worth living…please, Panny…we're depending on you…"

Pan's eyes widened in fear as she watched Goten's chest rise with his final shuddering breath. She put her forehead to his chest and tried to feel his energy. He had gone.

"No! No..." she wanted to scream, but she controlled the rage and misery lest it take over and drive her insane.

"Goten…" she managed to whisper, embracing his lifeless body, "I love you, too… I love you."

His last words echoed in her mind, we're depending on you. She slowly got up and took one last look at her uncle, as his body disappeared before her eyes. Not a single tear was shed, as she thought what peace he must be in right now…leaving her to the hell of living…but Goten would be happy. He would be reuniting with Bra in heaven…and his mother and father. Pan clasped her hands together once more, and bowed her head. I shall honour your last wish, my dear uncle. Chikyuu will be released from the Vegetans hatred, my people will know peace. As Pan walked out of the room, she felt a heavy weight on her heart, and knew that it would take a tough struggle to get through this…but she would make it, even if she was alone in the world.

*End Flashback*

Pan stood in her room, trying to gather up her courage. All Goten's words, still fresh in her mind kept entering her thoughts. The memory of his pained face tormented her….she could recall her father saying to her once, there is pain at death, but no pain in death, remember that. Death hurts the living more than the deceased, because sometimes living with loss can be harder than anything. That is why you must be strong…

Her fingers tightened around the pendant in her hand. Daddy, she thought, closing her eyes to try and block out the painful memory of her father's death. He had died in the battlefield, with honour, and yet the Vegetans had laughed. Goten and Pan had been so overcome with grief that they were unable to fight; unable to avenge Gohan. But Goku had continued to fight, and had died trying.

The memory of her grandfather's death haunted her the most, because she felt that it was partly her fault…Pan had killed King Vegeta after that, in her rage…but it was still too late to bring back her beloved grandfather…If only I had found the courage to fight…my grandfather might still be alive… but I couldn't move… I behaved like a human! I let my emotions take over! Well, at least I know not to ever let that happen again… I will not let my grief overcome me… I will keep it inside, hide it… hide all my true feelings… that way my heart won't be my weakness…

But what would my grandfather think? People always told him that he was soft… that his feelings would be the death of him… but he didn't listen, he continued to fight fairly, with compassion… and most of the time he won…but…

I am not my grandfather. Pan looked out the window sadly, I have to hide my feelings. If I want to survive and succeed at making peace. I will fight with honour as well…for I am a Son. I am Son Pan, and I will free the Kingdom of Chikyuu…I will!

But…how?

A helpless look crossed Pan's face. She couldn't just hop on the Flying Nimbus and fly over to The Kingdom of Vegeta…could she? Surely it wasn't that easy! Oh, what do I do? Looking through her window up at the sky, Pan sighed, Oh Goten! How much I need you right now!

A voice snapped Pan out of her thoughts and made her turn around, "Prince…er, King Pan?"

Pan, who was used to being addressed as "Prince" still got annoyed every time someone called her by that title. She knew that it was better for the Vegetans to think she was a boy, because if they knew she was a girl they would try to kidnap her and hold her hostage. Something like that could mean the surrender of Chikyuu. But if they thought that she was a boy then they wouldn't attempt the kidnapping, because they would assume that "he" could defend "himself", whereas a girl could not.

Even though she was used to being called "Prince", nothing could prepare her for the shock of being called "King". She looked for a second at the person who had addressed her. It was none other than the Countess, Lady Marron Chestnut.

"King?" asked Pan dazed, "I am not the King."

"Yes," said Marron softly, "You are now the King."

Pan suddenly remembered the fact that she had just lost her uncle…who was the King of Chikyuu…that would make her the heir to the throne…

"Please do not call me King," said Pan, "I do not wish to be reminded."

"Really?" said Marron her tone becoming a bit harsher, "Are you sure that is the reason? Are you sure you would not rather be called Queen?"

Pan was about to gasp in shock, but she quickly caught herself, "Don't be silly! Why would I want to be called queen?"

"Do you think I'm stupid?" asked the Lady Marron, obviously growing angrier by the second, "Since you were born…when I was just nine years old, I've heard people calling you "Princess" by accident. Even my own mother! Do you know how many times I've heard the word "Princess" being whispered around the castle? Yet when I ask "Who is this Princess you speak of? I know not of any Princess of Chikyuu!" they do not answer, or tell me that I have heard wrong, and they really had said Prince!"

"Maybe you did hear wrong," suggested Pan, but she feared that Marron had guessed the truth. After all this time in the castle, living and growing up with Pan and so many people who knew the truth, it was hard to keep up the ruse. It could be possible that Marron was more astute than Pan had thought.

"I did not hear wrong!" shouted Marron, "And why is it that whenever we call you Prince, you snap at us as if we've said something bad?"

"I do not," said Pan, "Perhaps it's your imagination."

"It is not!" Marron stomped her foot, "Tell me this: Why do you walk like a girl and talk like a girl? Why do you look…well, why do you look sort of like a girl, maybe if you grew your hair longer… Why were you best friends with Bra? Why aren't you tall and muscular like the rest of men in your family? And why the hell did your father call you Panny?"

Pan looked at Marron speechless, "Um…Because…?"

"See!" said Marron triumphantly, "You can't answer! You are a girl! Sure you may eat and fight like a boy, but I can see past that! You have been hiding your real gender all your life! Isn't this true, Princess?"

"I…" Pan glared at Marron, "If you reveal this to anyone, I will kill you with my bare hands for the crime of treachery, and betraying a secret of the royal family."

"I shall not tell," said Marron, "I just don't know why you didn't tell me sooner. It pains me to know that I am not trusted, but I swear to Dende that I will not tell anyone."

"You may leave now…" said Pan, then she gasped realizing that Marron was holding the Z-sword on her outstretched palms, "How did you get my father's sword?"

"I was told to give this to you by…" Marron looked at the ground and Pan noticed the way her hands trembled, not with the weight of the sword, but with sadness…

Pan walked over to Marron, "Who told you to give it to me?"

Marron looked up and Pan frowned, because there were genuine tears in her eyes, "I loved him, you know. Oh, how I loved him! And now he's gone…"

She can't mean Goten, thought Pan, she knows that he loves Bra…but then again…, "Do you mean my uncle?"

Marron nodded, "Forever. That's how long I've loved him. Even before he ever met Princess Bra… but how could I compare to her? The very first day Princess Bra ran away from Vegeta, the very first day that you and King Goten met Princess Bra, King Goten had bonded with her. I didn't stand a chance against the saiya-jin princess. Even when King Goten started courting Lady Paris, I knew he would still end up with Princess Bra…"

Pan looked at Marron astonished, as she continued to speak her feelings for Goten. A few silver droplets of misery slid down Marron's cheeks as she spoke…

"And then when Princess Bra took ill, King Goten was at her side in seconds... I know they loved each other. Princess Bra was the luckiest girl in the world…she died in his arms…I know it's not right for me to say this…but I was jealous of her…she had his love. King Goten's always been out of my reach, but at least I was able to see him. He would smile at me, and speak pleasantly with me. That was all I could ask…and now he's gone…gone to her…he's up there somewhere, happy with Princess Bra, and I'm down here all alone…"

Marron burst into tears, and Pan stared at her in shock. Marron loved Goten? I never knew. The poor girl. She could never have had him… he and Bra were always soulmates. Pan looked at Marron as she cried, and knew that Marron must feel something akin to the heartache she was feeling. Pan wanted to give her old friend an embrace, but her own emotion had her rooted to the spot. She wanted to say something comforting, but she couldn't think of anything past the pain of loss. She sighed, remembering a poem that Bra had liked and recited it for Marron in a soft voice:

"I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all."

Pan held Marron's gaze, "I truly wonder if that poem was written during a war."

Marron sniffled, fighting back her tears and looked at Pan. She was quiet for a moment, then began to smile in admiration.

"Princess Pan Son, my lady, you are the new ruler of the Kingdom of Chikyuu," Marron held out the Z-sword and a new light came into her eyes, "I believe that you will be the one to make peace for this kingdom. King Goten, the noblest man I have ever known, had faith in you, and therefore I have faith in you. I will serve you dutifully. It is your decision where you shall go from here. But whatever you decide, I will assist you in every way I can."

Pan reached out and took the sword from Marron. She looked at the girl with a new respect, "Lady Marron Chestnut, I appoint you to take care of my Kingdom while I am gone. I am counting on you to keep things in order until I come back… if I come back. "

Marron's face was set with determination, "I have every confidence that you will come back. Go, and may Dende be with you! Godspeed, my Queen."

"Marron..." said Pan gently, "Please do not call me Queen. Or King. I'm not ready for it…besides Goten is coming back. I intend to make a wish on the dragonballs…So just keep calling me Prince before others…or Princess in private if you'd like."

"Yes, Princess," Marron curtsied deeply before leaving the room. Pan looked after her, feeling a wave of warmth return to her spirit. Marron had been her friend since a young age, and had always been loyal, but the barrier between them had been the truth of Pan's identity. Now, it seemed that not only did she have a stronger opinion of the girl whom she had once thought as untrustworthy, but she had some more hope to hold onto. Marron was a good friend and ally. Raising the Z-sword up high, she slashed it through the air. It made a whooshing sound, and Pan admired the way in shone in the dim light.

"With my father's sword in my hand," began Pan with fortitude, "I shall avenge the deaths of everyone in my dear family…and I shall make peace. I vow to be the best ruler of Chikyuu that I can possibly be!"

Pan walked over to her closet and took out her own shining armour, brushed with gold and bearing the crest of the royal Son family embedded on the front. On the back, embedded was the Chikyuu-jin dragon. It was truly a work of art. The mail was so strong that nothing could penetrate it except for the Z-sword itself. The helmet had a beautiful green feather on it, one that came from Shenlong himself. As Pan donned the magnificent armour, she couldn't help but smile at the thought of her, a mysterious golden knight, flying into the country of Vegeta on the Flying Nimbus. What a sight she would be!

Deciding that as soon as they entered Vegetan territory, she would go on without the Flying Nimbus, Pan continued to put on her armour. It was difficult to put it on by herself, but she was too proud to ask for help like the other male knights always did. She was accustomed to doing it alone on occasion, because it had been necessary to hide what was under the armour to conceal her gender. She always preferred to do it alone unless Goten was there to help. Now he was not.

She felt that being able to do things on her own was important, because from here on…her journey would be alone. All alone.

Thus ends the first chapter! The poem is by Alfred Lord Tennyson.

Trunks makes his first appearance in the next chapter. And he's not happy.

Please don't wait until the end to review, or you never will! It's a really long story, so please try to review every few chapters. Every 4 chapters or so is reasonable, but I will leave it up to your judgement. I appreciate your feedback with all my heart!

First Published 29/06/2001, Edited 05/16/2010